Good news first, it was our 8th anniversary yesterday! Oh and the girls mattresses turned up!!! We bought the carpet for the room today and it is all being fitted at 9:30am tomorrow morning. Now all we need is for the cot beds to show up!
Bad news, I really, REALLY want to see my midwife now but can't cos she's on holiday. I went to my physio today who basically recommended a wheelchair or resting/not moving and a Csection...
I did a urine dip stick today which showed Protein + and Glucose +++.
I just feel like utter crap right now. I want to take the tests for gestational diabetes, I want a scan sooner to see how big the baby is getting and I'm pretty sure she's still breech. I've booked a scan at Babybond for when I'm just gone 36weeks which I'm looking forward to but my anxiety levels are now so high I need some reassurance that SOMETHING is OK NOW!
My foot is itching like blue blazes as well... I don't know why but it's been like it for three days now and is driving me literally insane. I can't get any relief.
I just want to speak to a Dr or midwife. If I was under an NHS midwife I'd have probably gone down the hospital by now to be checked over in the day unit...
I can't stand this pain much longer. I really can't...
Oh, and Martin now won't leave the Csection thing alone. He's hugely against it and not supportive of the idea at all and now won't stop bugging me so I guess I don't have the option of that. I apparently just have to suffer on in silence whilst he makes snide comments about the fact I sit around all day or he's doing ALL the childcare/cooking/housework...
Urgh... I know I moan a lot here... I haven't been sleeping at all and am really grouchy these days with the pain. I can't think straight and my head constantly hurts too.
I've decided to stick with the home water birth unless something serious, medically speaking, arises. I just wouldn't be being true to myself or my beliefs if I opted out and if I elected to have surgery to birth my baby what would I achieve?! I would probably get my Csection around 38weeks... So 5-6 weeks time. But then I'd have another 6 weeks of recovering from major surgery and that's assuming there would be no complications. If I go ahead with my homebirth as planned then I've got at most 8weeks as they won't let me go past my due date and then maybe a week or so of afterpains and hopefully I will be so wrapped up in my new cute baby I won't notice the SPD so much!
Today has been a good day. The carpet fitters came and fitted new carpet into the girls room/nursery, the landing, the family bathroom and the lower staircase. Tomorrow the cot beds will be arriving in the morning and then I'm pretty much set.
I'm tossing up whether to hire a birth pool so I can use it for pain relief before the birth, or whether to just go with my Made In Water one again... In one sense I could desperately use the pool for pain relief in the last few weeks and in another sense it seems a shame to not give birth to Libby in the same pool Ashton and Lacey were born in...
I'm in a lot of pain again today. Nothing new though and probably not helped by the fact that I had to sit in the Drs waiting room for over an hour past when my appointment should have been, and then got literally no answers on anything from him. I was told by my Ob and Midwife to make an appointment to discuss the warfarin doseage and antibiotics etc... Plus I needed a new prescription for my antibiotics which he gave me and I asked for some pain killers and he gave me a "low dose" of codiene... WTH good is a low dose going to do me?! Nothing hits this pain, if I was going to take anything I'd only take something that was virtually going to knock me out. There's no point me wasting my time on popping pills when it's only a "low dose". So annoying.
Tomorrow I see my Haematologist, so will have to speak to her about Warfarin doses post birth as nobody else seems to know what I should have. Not looking forward to it as my Haematologist isn't the friendliest of people and hates homebirths.
Just trying to remember what I need to have for the birth. Tomorrow I am going to gather up all the towels in the house and wash them. I did this a few weeks ago and kept on top of the washing but since I've stopped doing it, we don't have ANY clean towels in the house. REALLY annoying.
So, now I just need to tidy the house, finish the girls room and sort out the birth stuff and keep the house clean at the same time. Martin is doing bits and peices but is flaky and won't allow me to relax anyway so I might as well do it myself and hope it pushes my body into going into labour around 38-39weeks!
I am speaking to my Midwife next Tuesday regarding getting a growth/presentation scan soon and have the tests for gestational diabetes.
33weeks and 1day - only 6weeks and 6days to go (or 48days if you prefer!)....
My God it's so close now!!! Apparently this week Libby is developing immunities and her fingernails need cutting!
Not doing too badly... I have spent most of the day in bed. I had a bad night last night, I almost thought about calling an ambulance at one stage my chest hurt so much... It's not gone away at all today either, I keep shifting positions and changing my breathing pattern hoping the stabbing pain in my chest and back will go away but it doesn't. In the end I had to resort to taking painkillers last night - not good as I so rarely take painkillers...
It's also not helped by the fact that Libby is poking out bits here, there and everywhere!!! OWWWIIIIEEEEE!!!!
Other than that things aren't bad. Saw Martin's Mum yesterday which was fun. We spent a long time (me and her, not Martin as he's not interested) talking about the birth and what would happen in certain circumstances and what she should expect me to be like in the run up, during and after. I have set things I seem to do in the run up to giving birth... Like I can almost pinpoint to 24hours the fact that I always pick fights with people around 24hours before I actually go into labour. That and I tend to wander around the house in the early hours of the morning and have baths at 3am to relieve the pain in the last week or so. And after the birth I tend to be so tired I fall asleep for a few hours on the sofa before I can manage to get upstairs to have a bath and get to bed.
Tomorrow I am hoping I will be able to get up a bit more and maybe pack my labour/birth bag... Tuesday I have a midwife appointment which can't come soon enough if you ask me as I feel like crap!
Other than that I am feeling OK. Battered, bruised and sore but otherwise fine!!!
I am on day two of being virtually stuck in bed and have discovered a major set back... It does ease the pain to not have to move much and I can use lots of pillows to get comfortable, but it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO BORING!!!
Ashton comes and talks to me (he's fallen asleep now though) and Raistlin came up after school and keeps popping up but that's about it. Nobody to talk to, nothing to do but surf the net and watch crappy daytime TV.
I am going to attempt a bath once the kids are in bed as I have my midwife coming over tomorrow so need to get up and be downstairs for that and currently my hair is a mess, my legs are awful and I probably stink (well not really but I FEEL like I'm dirty)... I look like a complete tramp!
Oooo... The wall hanging name plaques I ordered for the girls room came today!!!! I am in pink heaven they're so gorgeous! Only mild concern I have is the colour of the walls might drown out the patterns... But I guess I'll just have to put them up and see! If they don't look good on the wall I could always attach them to the bottom of the girls cot beds I suppose... Actually they might look better there!
I wish I could find the damn camera to take photo's.... The room is so beautiful and I've got a ton of photo's to take...
Ah well.... It'll show up when it's meant too I'm sure...
My midwife came and went... Actually she was here for two hours going over stuff with me!
First things first my BP is on the low side. But that's hardly surprising considering I've been lying in bed for days. I had sugar and protein in my urine sample, again and something beginning with K which basically meant I hadn't eaten anything today and was hungry. Baby is wriggling and doing fine and has a good heartbeat and we have no idea what way up she is... It's all limbs, the midwife couldn't tell whether she was feeling head or bum!
Anyway, the rest of the appointment was just putting my mind at rest really. Can't even remember what we discussed now...
I'm pretty pissed today. I got up for awhile partially because I had the midwife and partially because I was fed up of being stuck on the top floor completely alone all day and figured I could pack my birth bag and sort the laundry and Martin could help out a bit.
Well, he's yet again obviousely got more important things to do with his time then bother with me or the kids. If it's not neighbours, or friends, it's personal or work and I'm just getting really fed up with the family being completely ignored because he's too damn lazy to bother with us.
Oh, and the house is a ****ing tip again and I am not impressed. So instead of resting and looking after myself in an effort not to do more damage I am tidying, cleaning and sorting, lifting and carrying heavy things like paint and a crib and suitcases up and down the stairs and now in agony too... And now it looks like I'm going to have to pick Lacey up out her cot and carry her downstairs because he's got better things to do and would rather leave her crying in a room by herself.
I am so sick and tired of this **** now. He knew before I got pregnant that the last few weeks would be like this and he PROMISED he'd help out a lot and be there for us and well... As I always say, don't ever count on a promise Martin makes.
Anyway, rant over. It's obvious I'm going to have no help. I got to the point where I figured if I just stayed in bed rather than allowing myself to be bullied into getting up and doing stuff then he'd get the hint and help more. How wrong was I. Guess I'm just expected to carry on as per normal and screw how I'm feeling or the damage I'm doing to myself. I obviousely don't matter that much to certain people.
Anyway, I've got to go and get on with some cleaning and tidying.... The house is just ridiculous right now.
I can't believe there's only just over 6 weeks to go at most. I'm quite glad actually. Don't want baby to come before she's ready but I am eager to finally meet her. Personally, if I go overdue I hope they let me go 7 days so I can hope for a Halloween baby!!!! I'd be happy with that!
I'm a bit miserable today. Well a lot miserable actually. We had to drop the kids off with my Mum late last night and rush to London for a job and I don't know whether it was the recent stress of the last week or so (had a complete mental meltdown a few days ago - it got me nowhere, nothing changed and he wouldn't even listen to what the real problem/issue was... Just chose to hear what he wanted as per normal), or the fact I was sat in the car for so long and driving around but it's bought on the painful braxton hicks that I get in all my pregnancies. They're coming every 5-10minutes and are painful enough that I have to stop and breath through them. Also my hips are absolutely killing me...
I don't want to whinge too much though. I've no doubt been doing enough of that recently and will probably continue over the next few weeks. Besides, there's no point moaning as nobody really listens and nothing changes, so now I just keep it to myself.
Besides, the pain is making me selfish. I just don't give a **** about other people right now. I don't care about Martin's work, I don't care about what happened at the school, I don't care that things aren't working, I don't care that people are upset about stuff... I just don't care anymore. Don't want to hear about it, see it, be put out/inconvenienced by it... I just don't want to pretend anymore that things things matter to me. All I can see is my own pain and discomfort right now and the fact that I could very easily die in the next few weeks. Nothing else matters to me.
As I said. I'm selfish right now. And I don't care! :P
Only 6 more weeks to go - or 42 days!!! Whichever you prefer!
Apparently this week Libby is five and a half pounds and quickly running out of room according to my ticker. I'm thinking that's complete BS - she feels MUCH bigger and HAS run out of room!!! LOL
I am tired today. It's still only early but I've barely slept for more than a couple of hours last night. Started with pink discharge last night, and the painful braxton hicks. I didn't time them as I know from bitter experience they're just a very painful tease but they were frequent and very painful. At one point I remember actually kneeling on the bed leaning against the end of the bed and just rocking to get through the pain. It was awful. And if it wasn't the painful contraction things it was my hips giving up. I could actually feel them dislocating last night - it was horrible, they kept coming out the joints and clunking back in!
And what did Martin do, despite knowing I was in a ton of pain? Well, I asked him to rub my legs and then my back which he did kind of half-heartedly until he fell asleep (no more than 20minutes certainely)... Then when I basically shrugged him off and told him not to bother he just grunted something about being tired, rolled over and went to sleep leaving me to deal with the whole thing myself all night.
I sent an email off to my midwife about it, but to be honest I doubt it's anything actually happening. Just my normal pattern of false pre-labour.
The contractions have actually eased up a bit this morning although my pelvis feels like someone has booted me hard with steel toed boots... I am trying to sleep now but I'm starving and dehydrated. And now I feel sick too and really need the loo.
Ouch!!! Ok, that's it. I'm setting up contraction master and timing these. If they're coming 5 minutes apart I'm phoning my midwife as I've had enough now.
So after no sleep last night due to and very painful contractions, I can't say they've eased off much but so long as I lie completely still it's manageable.
I contacted my midwife who said that I must keep a check on Libby's movements (she's been moving as per normal), and if I think I'm loosing fluid to get in touch with her ASAP. Also I'm supposed to be taking prophelactic antibiotics due to my kidney issues but haven't taken them in weeks as I hated them, so she told me to keep an eye out for infection and start retaking them.
She asked if it'd all kicked off after having sex (HAH!), but obviousely that is not an issue seeing as I can barely move!
Other than that if I think I'm in real labour I have to stop taking my meds and get to the hospital or call her ASAP. Which is difficult as how the Hell do I know when it's real labour?! I never have before until it was too late really.
Still in a lot of pain right now. So not a happy bunny as we were going to treat the kids to a meal out today and I haven't managed to get out of bed all day so far and really don't think I'll be able to at all.
I've decided to get up today. I am going crazy lying in bed... So I got up and had a bath which took me ages to get in and out of as I had no help.
Tristan was sent home from school today with earache. Having seen how he is, it's obviousely a lie so I'm not impressed and he'll be going back to school tomorrow!
Going out in the car in a bit... Probably won't get out unless we go to my Mums though as I can't walk much.
Actually I kind of feel a lot better after a few days stuck in bed. OK, so I can't do as much as I would like too, but it's still fun and exciting. I can't wait to meet Libby but I don't want her to come early, if that makes sense? Well, certainely not earlier than about 38weeks.
Yeah, I feel like crap and am in pain - but this is the very last time I will go through this so I might as well suck it up and enjoy!
And what with Raistlin going to school full time from Wednesday, this is going to be the only time I have alone with just Lacey and Ashton, before it becomes Lacey, Ashton and Libby!
Plus I've got just over 5 weeks to get ready and there's still a lot to do! In a couple of weeks time I am going to get Martin to fish out the birth pool, blow it up and give it a couple of trial runs before the big day. Plus I've still got to pack a labour/birth bag. I'd really like the girls room to be completely finished by then and maybe even have Lacey-Rose sleeping in there as I'm kind of hoping to get a bit of a routine going this time and not be so "fly by the seat of my pants"...
Oh, and is it really bad I'm organising a Halloween party at the moment?!!!! If she comes on her EDD she'll only be a week old, but we do it EVERY year and it'd be strange not to do it this year... So that'll keep me a little bit busy for the moment as I'm planning on making the cake seeing as I had such great success last time. Just need to find out how far in advance I can actually bake the cake and keep it before I get round to icing it... Maybe you can bake the sponge and freeze it or something?!
I'm also beginning to think that maybe she isn't THAT big and I'm just a bit paranoid about it right now... I mean I feel like I'm big but then the weight of being pregnant is causing me a lot of pain so that might be making me feel like I'm bigger than I really am... That and I'm so paranoid about having another 10+lber. I'm sad to admit it but Lacey was really ugly as a newborn and I put it solely down to her size. I want a cute little baby, one that actually fits in newborn clothes for a few weeks and that doesn't weigh a ton and make your arm go dead after only a minute or two of holding her!
Still, Lacey is so cute and healthy now so I guess it wouldn't be the end of the world if Libby was big too.
I really want to find a hobby or something I can do whilst I'm unable to move much. I'm sooo bored, but I'm not crafty at all.
Other than that, just waiting for Martin to book me an appointment for reflexology and pregnancy massage... Anything to try and ease the pain, even just a little bit!
I finally got some photo's of the girls nursery so far. It's still not finished, but we're getting there slowly.
The girls cotbeds...
Liberty-Hope's cotbed and my nursing chair!
The rocking crib Libby will be sleeping in for the first little while. It also changes into a sofa once you've finished with it!
Lacey-Rose's bed and rocking unicorn!
The girls name plaques... The walls are so pink you can't really see them though so we're going to put them onto the end of the girls beds!
Libby's cotbed close up!
The storage end of the room with Libby's wardrobe. Just waiting on Lacey's wardrobe and a dressing table now!
Inside Libby's wardrobe - although some of the hanging stuff is Lacey's best dresses and coats... It's not all Libby's stuff as I'm waiting on a wardrobe for Lacey!
Stuff still to do is attach the name plaques to the ends of the beds, put the writing on the walls, put up some curtains... That kind of stuff! Also I need to move the swing, car seat and other baby stuff into the room as it's cluttering up my dressing room!