I'M 36 WEEKS PREGNANT!
Only 4 weeks left to go - that's just 28 days!!!!
Apparently this week Liberty-Hope is practicing her grasp and turns towards the light...From this day forward, you shall not walk alone.
My heart will be your shelter, and my arms will be your home.
I am so damn excited to be 36weeks pregnant! My ticker is on the last baby! Woohoo!
I had an OK day. I haven't slept in a couple of nights due to my back aching and stomach being sore. Last night I had to take two baths just to cope with it. I'm also having a lot of clear/white jelly like CM coming away. Yuck. And my stomach keeps contracting but strangely only hurts up the top, it's mainly my back that is causing me problems at the moment.
I was so miserable yesterday, I spent most of the day crying up here alone. Martin had Rachell over to do some report writing for him, and she offered to watch the kids for a few hours so Martin took me out to TGI's for dinner. It was agony getting up and dressed and out and about but I enjoyed myself. I only got through a starter and part way through my main course before I needed to leave because the pain was too bad. But I still really enjoyed getting out and having a nice dinner, just wish I'd not been in pain and been able to stay for dessert as I was really looking forward to dessert.
Today I am mainly in bed. Everytime I stand up the pain gets so much worse... Martin and the boys are decluttering the boys wardrobes! So impressed! And Lacey is a little cutie - it's only going to be a matter of days now before she's walking properly. She's taking steps by herself just lacking confidence to do more then about 5/6 steps. She keeps coming up here and giving me hugs.
I am so damned excited to be 36weeks! Have I said that before! My Midwife said that so long as I don't go into labour before about Thursday then I am home-free for my homebirth! And by then we'll have had most of my important appointments that are coming up this week and it'll just be a case of waiting for her to make an appearance!
I am so excited! I can't wait to have a cuddle and to breastfeed again and although I'm not bothered about getting the pregnancy over and done with, I will be glad to be done with the pain etc. And to feel "normal" again!
I will definately take a photo today... But it probably won't be a good one as I'm in bed, so wearing a flame-proof granny nightie.
36weeks and 2days - only 26days left (maybe less!);
I did a belly pic today finally... It's below! I've included all my pics so far so I can see the progression and how huge I've got! LOL
5 weeks (bloating from bruises from my injections mainly)
25 weeks and 3 days
30 weeks and 2 days
And today's belly pics...
36 weeks and 2 days
Bit hard to compare them all really as they're taken from different angles... I think I actually look SMALLER at 30weeks than I did at 28weeks.
I had my physio appointment today. It was OK. Bit pointless really as there's nothing she can do anymore to help me, and it's getting worse as it's now affecting the joints at the top of my legs (tell me something I DON'T know - I can feel my legs dislocating when I lie down. Seriousely. Popping in and out of the sockets!)... I wanted to ask for a wheelchair but I was too embarrassed as she was training up her replacement as apparently she's leaving and I didn't much like the other lady observing. I was kinda hoping she'd offer me one especially as she saw the state I was in.
God it was embarrassing though. I burst into tears twice waiting in reception and then again in her office and kept welling up whenever she asked me how I am... I really think this is beginning to affect my moods in a bad way. I'm prone to depressive thoughts at the best of times, but I'm now feeling so lonely and isolated I'm having difficulty finding any good in anything now...
Martin went into the Physio department and asked them on my behalf for a wheelchair in the end. My Physio is going to call him to discuss it apparently. She hasn't called yet but I really hope she says yes. I told her the crutches were useless to me now and I couldn't even walk with them to aid me. And when she asked to examine me and I stood up without them she had to catch me as I almost fell straight over.
If she says no, I'm not sure how I'll manage another 4 weeks stuck in bed... I really need to go outside. I've missed everything. The whole of the summer holidays I could have had fun with my kids, but nope stuck here. I missed Raistlin's first day of school because I was stuck here... I miss everything. The sun is out today and it's a lovely day and yet I've basically only seen it from inside the car and from my bed because I can't actually get out in it.
Anyway. Tomorrow will hopefully be a better day for me. I've got a scan at Babybond, which I'm really looking forward too (even if it does involve stairs - they can have a good laugh at me crawling ) and then in the afternoon I've got a anaesthetics review, which I'm hoping will be pointless in that I won't need to have surgery!!! I remember having one of these when I was pregnant with Tristan - it was just a quick in and out and they decided I'd be fine allergy wise. This time it's got more to do with the heparin than the allergy I have...
I hope the physio calls back soon and gives me good news.... I'll update when she does.
36weeks and 4days;
So I had my scan yesterday. It was really good fun and so lovely to see Libby again for what is probably the last time before she's born. It was a bit sad too knowing that I've been going to Babybond since I had my first child, and went several times with each pregnancy, and that was probably my last visit ever.
The scan itself was all good news. Libby is healthy, head down , very long she's kind of doubled over and it is her feet I've been feeling on my lower right hand side. The placenta is looking good, blood flow through the cord is good, she's practice breathing, got plenty of fluid and her organs are all fine.
She's big though. I kind of knew she would be going in... I've been telling people she's big again this time and like last time they've mostly been blowing me off saying I look a normal size, but it looks like I may be right again.
Her measurements were;
AC (Abdominal circumference) = 33.85cm (39 weeks and 1 days)
FL (Femur length) = 7.24cm (39 weeks and 0 days)
HC (Head circumference) = 35.75cm (42 weeks and 2 days)
BPD (head width I think) = 9.78cm
Her estimated weight is currently 7lbs 9oz. If you follow the line of thought of approx. 1/2lb weight gain per week, that means we could be looking at around 9lbs 9oz.
Of course this is all estimates and everyone says they can be off by 1-2lb in either direction, so although I was quite upset by this yesterday (hence I didn't post about it), it's not something I'm taking too seriousely.
Besides, I pushed out over 10lbs of baby last time around, so whatever she weighs it'll be fine, I'm sure.
I did panic though. It wasn't that I was so worried about her size as such, it was just far too close to being how it was with Lacey-Rose. Don't get me wrong, I KNOW her weight and her birth had NOTHING to do with how ill I was afterwards but I was really hoping things would be different this time around and focussed most of my fear on Libby's weight for some reason. I'm terrified I'll be ill again this time around and maybe even die although I know that's highly unlikely as I am being so well cared for this time around and am on the best medication to treat the problems.
I sent an email to my midwife in my panic yesterday telling her all about it, asking for the test for gestational diabetes to be done and basically saying I didn't think I could do this anymore. She sent me a lovely response basically saying she'll look into the test, she got the extra fluids she needs for my birth and reassuring me that it'd be OK. I'm not sure I'm 100% convinced it will be, but logically speaking I know my fears are irrational. Nothing is going to go wrong clotting wise this time but for some reason my brain won't accept that.
Oh and did I mention I'm having ANOTHER no sleep night. It's now 4:15am and I have only had about an hour of sleep so far.
Thankfully no appointments today so hoping that when I do eventually get to sleep I'll be left to rest.
I am going to get Martin to scan my photo's... They're cute as she's so chubby, so I'll post them up when he's done it for me!
36weeks and 5days! Only 23 more days to go!
Today I am doing really good!
I forgot to update about my anaesthetics review. It wasn't so great. Basically unless I schedule an elective Csections, if an emergency occurs that requires surgery at all and I've had Heparin within 12 hours I can not have a spinal or an epidural so my only option would be a general. Except I am allergic to general, it kinda causes me to die. But there are no other options... I can risk a spinal and possibly never be able to walk again, or I can risk the general and probably end up in ICU if I have a reaction.
Either way though I seriousely doubt that will be a problem. So not worrying about that!
Today has been great! Last night was a nightmare. Martin got called out to work and didn't get back until gone 3am. I can't look after the kids myself so had to go to my Mums so she could help me... But I wasn't given the keys to get back into the house in the evening, so I had to get my brother to take the boys for the evening and me and Lacey stayed at my Mums. Then things went wrong at work so Martin didn't get back until gone 3am. It was gone 4am before we actually got to bed and then I didn't fall asleep for bloody ages!
Anyway, I got up this morning as it was another of those Mums play dates that I took Ashton and Lacey too the other week and I didn't want them to miss out. It was great fun and they had a blast as per normal. Martin came with me to "help" with Lacey but frankly I might as well have been there alone as I did all the caring for Lacey and Ashton and he gossiped with the Mums. :rolls:
Then I had a Haematology appointment which was OK. I went by myself and discovered the plan for my care has changed. So I am still going to reduce my doseage today, but instead of reducing from 80mg twice a day down to 40mg once a day, it's being reduced to 40mg TWICE a day instead. Grrr... Oh, and now they don't want to put me on Warfarin after the birth. They're going to keep me on Heparin for 6 weeks after the birth and then I can just come off those too.
I also had a blood test my midwife suggested to check my sugar levels, called a HbA1C blood test. So will see what that says!
And in other good news, I got a letter today saying that Ashton has been accepted into nursery at the boys school and he starts in January going 5 afternoons a week! Woohoo!
So, a really, REALLY great day. Although I am shattered now and back in bed as I just can't go anymore. My hips are killing me and my eyes won't really stay open anymore!
I have a midwives appointment tomorrow... Here's hoping that goes well!
Oh, and STILL waiting on Martin to scan those ultrasound pics from the other day. Grrr....
As promised... Here are the ultrasound photo's taken on Tuesday when I was 36+3 weeks!
A picture of her chin, lips and nose!
My favourite photo! (This wasn't taken at 28+3wks as it says on the photo, it's just the tech referred to her database from our previous scan to fill in the personal details for the report and obviousely forgot to remove the last scan details!)
36weeks and 6 days! Only 22 more days at most to go!
I am feeling quite energetic and good today. My midwife came earlier and I had a good appointment. She's going to chase up the blood tests I had yesterday, my BP was nice and low, I had some sugar and protein in my urine sample but nothing more than normal for me these days. Baby sounded fantastic as always although again she couldn't tell what way she was lying. I think it's difficult to tell because her placenta is right at the front and she feels big but my stomach isn't. It's all body and limbs you just can't tell what's what for some reason!
Martin heard from the physio, he's got to call a number and they'll get me a wheelchair so I can finally go out! I'm quite glad as I'm so fed up of being stuck in the house all day. Only problem is, it won't be until after the weekend now as our Voyager isn't on the road at the moment, which basically means we can't go anywhere or do anything unless most of the kids are at school. Grr... I can't even say how annoying this is for me especially as I was left under the impression (OK outright told but it'll be denied if I say that!) that we'd have that car back on the road at the beginning of this week.
Martin is working most of next week. He is working for like 17-18 hours at best on Monday, working all day Tuesday and Wednesday. I'm not happy about it I've got to admit especially as I'm pretty sure my body is stepping up a gear towards labour.
I am sure I'm starting to loose bits of the mucous plug. Although nothing bloody so far so not too bothered yet.
And last night I really thought labour was starting as I was lying in bed and the pain from contractions was awful and they were coming less than 5 minutes apart for hours on end.
He's going to be hours and hours away, so if I do go into labour he won't get back in time.
I really want to go out. I feel so energized even if the pain is bad. I want to go shopping or something (anything!).
I've decided since I'm going to be 37weeks tomorrow and well and truely in the zone for having a baby anyday this weekend I am going to spend my time getting the house ready seeing as I can't go anywhere.
First job on the list; The kitchen! It's DISGUSTING. Truely disgusting. So I am going to scrub it clean starting erm... Now!
And tomorrow I am going to work on the living room and the places where the birth pool will most likely go. Basically my plan is to work from the bottom of the house, up. I have decided I am going to give birth in the living room again like the last two times. Makes me a little uncomfortable as Martin's Mum will be here and I ALWAYS fall asleep on the sofa afterwards and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with sleeping on the sofa whilst my MIL is downstairs or in the room but ho-hum - I know I won't be able to get up two flights of stairs straight after giving birth as I've never managed it before and I was healthier then!
OK. Going to go get on with scrubbing my kitchen, top to bottom!
Oh, and I need to clear out the cars at some point too as they're disgusting too. Sigh.... At least maybe after I've done all this cleaning my body will get the hint and pop Libby out!!! One can hope!
I'm 37 weeks pregnant!!!
Only another 3 weeks to go - or 21 days!
Apparently this week Liberty-Hope is accumulating meconiun and her belly is as big as her head. Except we know it isn't - we know her head is MUCH bigger than her stomach! LOL
I woke up this morning not feeling so great. I feel slightly sickly, like I might throw up but not going too. And now I've started sneezing and feels all blocked up and like I have a nasty head cold coming. Blah
I always seem to get a cold a week or two before I go on to have a baby. Normally I've just gotten over it and then labour starts so kind of hoping it's not long now!
Martin took us all to Pizza Hut today. Which was fun and I stuffed myself, for the first time in ages I was starving hungry. Now I'm tired and feeling grotty so going to try and sleep.
37weeks and 1day - only 20 days to go!
I am thoroughly miserable today. I haven't felt well for two days now and today is far worse. Yesterday I thought I was coming down with a cold, but today no signs or symptoms of that. I did wake up with a sore throat and ear but they've gone now too. I just feel sickly. My stomach feels strange, and my head hurts and I just don't feel well at all. I've spent all day in bed, not because I was in too much pain to get up but because I don't have the physical energy and I feel so damned ill.
I'm really fed up today. I'm sick of being sick now and I just want this baby out. I promised Martin I wouldn't try any self induction stuff this week as he's away on business (said he wouldn't go if I did anything like that) but I'm going to anyway. I really don't think anything will work to get this baby out before she's ready and I've never used natural self induction techniques before but I have to get my body back now. I'm slowly going crazy and everyday I feel worse now. I know I have major issues with dying this time around so it may be that that's driving me, but everyday it feels like I'm going a little further down hill and I don't know how much more I can take.
So Tuesday I'm going to get him to take me shopping and maybe sneak in some Evening Primrose Oil, Jasmine Oil and Clary Sage Oil and start using them ASAP. Most people I know who used them had nothing happen but I don't care - I'll try anything I can right now.
It's so sad. Normally I live in anticipation of the birth at this stage but I'm patient and willing to wait as long as it takes... But I just can't this time. I can't go on like this for much longer, I need it done now.
Martin is going to be at least 3 hours drive away from me on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday but I'm pretty confident the stuff won't work anyway. I've never been early before and probably won't be this time either but if it's available and not doing any harm I really want to try anything I can to get this baby out.
It's really sad. I'm all for natural stuff, leaving things to nature. I never like to interfere if I can possibly help it but everyday she's still inside me I'm getting more and more pain, more and more miserable. And it's affecting my feelings towards her now. It sounds awful but I don't care that much about her at this point. I just want her to stop feeding off my health now. I'm not particularly excited about meeting her, not really interested in seeing her or anything like that, rather selfishly I just want MY health back now. I've never felt like that towards any of my babies - at this point I'm not even sure I'll want to hold her when she's finally born... And how guilty does that make me feel!
Just feels like I've dedicated the last 8-9 years to being pregnant and risking my life. Now I want it over and I want to be me again - I can't even remember who I am. Did I ever know? I mean, I first got pregnant at 17 - did I know who I was back then? I doubt it.
Urgh. You can tell I'm miserable today. I'm rambling and it's probably all crap anyway!
Anyway. Appointment wise it's a fairly quiet week;
Monday Martin is away from 5am until probably somewhere around midnight.
Tuesday nothing so far.
Wednesday Martin is away from 5am-8pm and I have my urology appointment.
Thursday Martin is away from 5am-8pm and I have to miss Activity Land this week which I'm not happy about as it's virtually the only real time I get to go out and socialise.
Friday I see my midwife again.
37weeks and 3days;
I'm tired, sick and fed up/disappointed today.
Yesterday Martin was away doing some work so my Mum came and helped me and took me back to hers to look after me. I'm enjoying going over there when Martin's away as she takes really good care of me (compared to him) and makes sure I have plenty to eat and drink and don't push myself too far. I actually get to rest over at hers and people talk to me over there.
Anyway, Martin was passing back through Milton Keynes going from one job to another so I went with him with Ashton and Lacey-Rose to his second job. It was a three hour drive there, which was made a lot longer by the fact Ashton started throwing up everywhere. Then we had to wait in the car whilst Martin did his work thing and another three hour drive home which was made much, much longer by Lacey-Rose throwing up time and time again. Bless. There must be a stomach bug going around because in less than 24hours we had Raistlin puking his guts up all night, followed by Ashton and then Lacey-Rose. And I haven't been feeling well since the weekend either.
Anyway, I'm in a bad mood today. I've been going on and on and on about being able to go out since Friday when I got the wheelchair and today was the first day I was supposedly able to go anywhere in ages and actually get OUT the car. But nope. Seems Martin "forgot" despite me asking him this morning too and mentioning getting a slush puppy drink (I have terrible cravings for slush puppies)... So, I dragged my tired and sick arse out of bed, had a bath and also bathed Ashton and Lacey-Rose at the same time as he never does it, waited around for almost 2 hours for him to dry and straighten my hair whilst he faffed around at which point it became very obvious he was expecting to go elsewhere and for me to just sit in the car as per normal whilst he went out and about and did his own thing.
I didn't bother saying anything. What's the point? He doesn't listen, ever. Just sat, uncomfortable, in the car whilst he did his own thing as per normal and waited to get home so I could climb back into bed.
I'm not going to bother asking for stuff anymore. There are several things he said he'd do for me over the coming weeks but I'm not going to bother reminding him. There's no point - he's too selfish. All he cares about right now is his stupid business and what he wants to do. On the odd occasions he thinks of anyone else it's always his Mother.
I'm really angry about it all to be honest. I put my neck on the line to have this baby. I suffer daily and my life is at risk and he can't even be bothered to do the odd thing for me, even when it's free, to help cheer me up out of the funk.
Anyway, tomorrow I am off to my Mums again because he's working again - a three hour drive away. Can't wait!
For now though I'm going to go and sleep. I'm upset and been crying since we got home and now have a headache because of it. Probably also partially due to being dehydrated seeing as I've only been bought one small glass of milk today so far and it's 2pm now.
I just don't feel well anymore. I need to sleep or for this baby to come out.
I'm so sorry Martin's being so unsupportive, Sarah-Jean. Although, I am glad that you can go over to your mom's and be looked after! The baby will be here soon!