Our little lovebug is on the way!!

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Our little lovebug is on the way!!

February 24, 2009
I still can't believe it, I'm pregnant with my 3rd baby!! After three long, frustrating cycles, I tested at 10 dpo and got a + on a $ store test. I was in disbelief, and had to run to WalMart and buy a FRER, and sure enough: 2 PINK LINES!!

A little background information:
My name is Holly and I'm 25 years old. I have two little girls: Addison (2.5) and Lauryn (15 months). They definately keep me on my toes, but they're my peanuts and I love them to death! DH and I decided that we needed to try one more time for a little boy (although we'll be just as happy with a girl) and started trying at the end of Dec. 2008. I decided to temp to make sure my cycles were normal and found out that I was Oing a lot later than I thought. This cycle, our 3rd one, has definately been screwy, and I thought for sure I was out. I had no symptoms except tender, veiny bbs and frequent peeing. I counted myself out, but then started getting the feeling like AF was here, but she wasn't. I also didn't have any cramps like usual too, so I started to think maybe I wasn't out.

I know that this will be my last pregnancy so I want to document everything. I know that when I look back, I will miss it, and this will give me a chance to sit back and reminisice. We are now anxiously counting down to the arrival of our lovebug on November 2, 2009!

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Joined: 04/03/07
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4w3d-February 26, 2009

Why did I do that? I temped this morning out of habit and my temp was 97.13...my coverline on FF is 97.36. Now I'm scared this is a chemical pregnancy...I am going to buy another FRER test today and see what that says, and I'm going to pray like there's no tomorrow that this is a sticky bean. I'm so scared!!

* * *Update* * *
I went to WalMart to buy another test. I decided to buy a digital so I didn't have to fuss with any lines, and couldn't wait. I went to the bathroom in WalMart and took the test. That was the longest wait of my life, but it still says PREGNANT! Ah, now I just need to stop temping and take it easy. My first appointment is Monday and it can't come fast enough.

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4w4d-February 27, 2009

Ok...starting to feel more pregnant. The symptoms are small, but they are finally starting to kick in. I've had some of the worst gas pains on and off throughout the day...Holy Cow! I forgot how painful they can be in the first trimester. Also, I've got sore tatas....ouch! Those come and go as well, but when they hurt, they really hurt. Fatigue is settling in nice and cozy also. I've been dragging at work today...ugh! I'm expecting m/s to kick in within the next 2 weeks. With both of my previous pregnancies m/s kicked in around 7 weeks.

I have one more digi test that I will take either Sunday or Monday morning. My confirmation is on Monday with the doctor, so it'll just be peace of mind until the appointment. Should be a busy weekend, and I'm looking forward to hitting 4 weeks on Sunday. I think then it will feel real Smile

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4w5d-February 28, 2009

Well, today Daddy and I sat down and discussed baby names...again Smile It seems like we're always changing our minds, but I think we are good to go this time around. If you are our little boy, you will be Cameron Andrew, and we'll call you Cam for short. If your are our little girl, you'll be Kenadie Anne. I hope these names stick...Kenadie has stuck for quite a while, but we keep discussing boy names. Daddy's crazy :rolleyes:

I laid down this morning after only being up for 3 hours and I fell asleep for 2 hours :eek: Fatigue has set in....and I know that because I'm still tired. My sense of smell is really strong right now too. I've been also having some cramps/pain in my abdoimen, and although this is pregnancy #3, it still creeps me out, even though I know it's normal. Round ligament pains I believe.

I took my last digi this morning and it came up w/in a minute Yahoo Yay!

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5 weeks-March 2, 2009


5 weeks

Good morning! I'm nervous, anxious, and excited!! Today is my first doctor's appointment. It's with the NP so I should get a definate due date and doctor's confirmation! I'm always nervous for this appointment. I've been getting + tests for nearly a week now, but this is it. They confirm that what you've been feeling is right...you're pregnant! I'm also excited to figure out when I'm due. I think it's either Nov. 6 or 8. I'm not sure exactly which day I Od on. I'll update after my appointment this afternoon.

I also started having the dreams. All day yesterday I was thinking about the baby's heartbeat. I should get an u/s in a couple of weeks and was thinking about Lovebug's heartbeat. I'm so scared that there won't be one. Please stick, Lovebug!! We want you so badly!

* * *Update* * *
Well, I went to the doctor and I sure am pregnant! However, my due date has changed Biggrin I'm now due 11/2, which means I'll get my October baby after all! I am going to go back and adjust all my dates, but I must have gotten my BFP at 14 dpo instead of 10. Oh well, all I care about is that I'm pregnant Yahoo

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5w3d-March 5, 2009

The crazy dreams have definately started....OMGoodness! I've had some of the scariest and weirdest dreams that I've had in a long time. Last night I had a dream that I was at the mall with some friends and we had parked our new van next to your grandpa's SUV. After we were done at the mall, we walked out and there were three boys standing there getting ready to key the side of the van. I yelled at them, and they then turned around and started keying your grandpa's SUV. He came out and got after them, and then I woke up :eek: Not sure where that came from!

I've also had a really rotten backache the past few days. It comes and goes, but I don't remember it being like this until later on. Then again, I didn't take any notes with my other pregnancies and I really wish I would have. I've been hit with a few waves of nauseus too. I am gladly welcoming this symptom. For some reason, it makes me feel better Smile Then I know you're growing like you should be!

We are off to look at vans. Mommy needs to get a Mommy Mobile! Our SUV is not big enough for three kids, a double stroller, and any other odds and ends that we need in a vehicle at any given time. We found one we like, but we are going to check out a few more just in case. Hopefully we get something before you arrive!

* * *Update* * *
I'm officially a mini van mama!! We bought a vehicle that will be nice and comfortable for you and your two sisters. Plus, there will be entertainment provided with a DVD player Smile We bought a 2004 Pontiac Montana. I'll share pictures at a later date. Night lovebug!! We can't wait to meet you!

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5w5d-March 7, 2009

It feels nice to just sit at home and relax this weekend. It's the first weekend in 8 weeks that we haven't had to work on the kitchen. We were able to go get a few grocieries this morning and run a few errands as a family for the first time in a long time. Then we came home and we all took a nap Smile In fact, Daddy and your sisters are still sleeping. My back hurts a lot right now, so I got up. I'm getting myself pshyced up to do a bunch of laundry, dishes, and lesson plans.

I was really upset yesterday because your Grandma found out that you were on your way, and she did not seem too thrilled. I know she'll love you once your here, but it really hurt my feelings. When she got here yesterday she saw that we had gotten a van. Well, when your Aunt Jenny showed up, she asked her if I was pregnant, or why else would I have gotten a van already. Aunt Jenny said she didn't know (even though she already did), so she texted me and told me Grandma was suspicious. Well, I decided to go ahead and tell her that you were on your way and she didn't say congratulations or anything. In fact, all she said was, "Are you getting rid of your dogs then?" Umm, no Grandma, they're staying! It really hurt my feelings that she wasn't more happy, but i know once my belly starts growing, she'll be more excited, and once you're born, she won't be able to resist you and your charm!! Maybe she's just scared...I don't know, but I do know that your Daddy and I are so excited your on your way!! We love you so much already and you aren't even here.

I've been having these sharp little jabbing pains in my side all day. I think they're normal, but they hurt a little. If they get to be too painful, then I will call my doctor. She's really nice, and hopefully she'll be able to put my mind at ease. Ok, I better go do some laundry!

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5w6d-March 8, 2009

Today has just been one of those days! Aside from the cramps, the frequent peeing, and the increased CM, I still don't feel pregnant. This is the exact reason that I hate the first trimester. I'm always worried and second guessing everything! I'm so paranoid that I'm really tempted to go to the Dollar Store on Tuesday and buy a a couple more tests. I still feel exactly like I do before my period comes: a horrible backache, cramps that are due to gas/constipation, and the constant feeling that she's here (thanks to the CM). This being my third pregnancy, you'd think I'd realize that these things were completely normal, but I worry. I want this baby so badly and I'm worried that something will happen to him/her. I know it's out of my hands, and as long as I'm doing what I can on my end, it's all up to the big man upstairs. I just hope he blesses me with this little peanut that I'm wanting so badly. The thought of losing him or her breaks my heart. You get so attached to this little being the second you find out you're expecting. You suddenly have these dreams and ambitions for your child, and you want to do everything you can to protect your baby. I know most of this is just the first trimester worry coming out, but it is enough to drive someone crazy during the beginning of pregnancy.

On a happier note, we've already found the cutest bedding. We've decided that we will be finding out the gender, but we aren't telling anyone. The nursery bedding is adorable, it's a lot of green and brown circles. It's totally gender neutral, so even if we have sneaky grandma's trying to peak in the nursery, they still won't know whether you're a little boy or a little girl. We just hope we can keep the secret Smile Ok...feeling a little better. Just anxious to really start "feeling" pregnant. Bye for now!

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6 weeks-March 9, 2009

Today was a pretty mild day. I had my first real bouts of nauseus, but they only came in waves. I think m/s is slowly heading my way, and I'll say it again, I'm waiting with open arms. For some odd reason, it makes me feel better. The more miserable I feel, the better off I figure Lovebug is. I did have a small scare at school today. I felt a huge gush while at work and thought for sure there was blood. I quickly ushered the kids back to the classroom and ran to the bathroom. Thank god it was only CM, but it scared the jeebies out of me!! I thought for sure my little peanut was gone.

I gave into my weakness today and bought 3 more tests. I took one tonight when I got home and the control line is insanely dark. It's insane. I'll add some pics tomorrow. The girls broke my camera, so everything is on my cell phone. I need to go camera shopping now Sad

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6w3d-March 12, 2009

Ugh...morning sickness is here! Thankfully she's taking her time making herself known, so it's been pretty mild the past few days. I go in spurts of feeling great and then feeling like crap. Currently I'm feeling good Smile I've also started getting some weird cravings!! Tonight I wanted Pepperoni/Green Olive pizza and macaroni salad. No, I didn't eat them together, but man! They tasted great!

I've been having some wicked ligament pains today too. And last night...I turned the wrong way and OUCH!! It hurt! It took me a while to get comfortable after that again. Thankfully everything seems to be going alright so far. Only 14 days until we see Lovebug via u/s. I cannot wait!! I'm nervous/excited/scared all at the same time. I hope the next 2 weeks fly by!

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6w5d-March 14, 2009

Today is the first day that I really, truly feel like poop! I woke up this morning after having a crummy dream and got online for a while. Daddy went and bought donuts for breakfast and also bought me an apple juice. I ate the donuts and felt fine. I also drank some of my juice and not more than 30 minutes later I started feeling like crap. I thought it would go away, but after a couple of hours I was still feeling crummy. M/S to me feels like having a hangover Sad Yuck! I laid down and took a 2 hour nap and woke up still feeling like poop, so unfortunately I think m/s is here to stay. I think I may go downstairs and look for my sea bands. They need to be on reserve for the next few weeks Smile Tonight we are going out to eat for Daddy's birthday and I hope I can find something to eat. Wish me luck! Luv you peanut!!

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7w2d-March 18, 2009

It's been a few days since I've written in here, so I thought I better come say hi. I have the worst backache Sad It's right in the center of my back and it hurst like h*ll!! Other than my backache, I'm doing alright. M/S is kicking my butt, but not nearly as bad as the fatigue. I find that by the time the afternoon rolls around I'm having such a hard time keeping my eyes open. I kept pestering your Daddy about girl names too...If you should be a little girl, we'll call you Emerson Smile I've loved this name since before Lauryn was born, so I'm happy I have a 50% chance to use it Smile This will be a short one tonight. I am going to go lay down. Luv you peanut!!

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7w4d-March 20, 2009

I just bought the first 2 diapers for the new baby Yahoo They're adorable!! Lovebug will look so cute in them. I've been a little hesitant to buy anything, but m/s has definately made herself known. I feel a little more confident that I will get to meet this LO in about 7 months, so I decided to buy the diapers.

I had a dream about little lovebug the other night. In my dream, she was a girl. Not real sure what to think :confused: With Lauryn I had several dreams that she was a boy and poof! She's a girly girl. Guess we'll have to wait and see. I'm so anxious to see the baby. My u/s is in 6 days!!

I've had some sharp stabbing pains in my abdomen today and I vaguley remember them from my previous pregnancies. It feels like the baby is poking me from the inside with a needle. They don't last long, but they hurt! I'm going to bring it up to the doctor when I go on Thursday and see what she has to say. I think I'm off to bed for the night! Love you peanut!

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7w6d-March 22, 2009

Today has been a blah day for me. I woke up last night with the worst pain/cramp in my stomach that I've ever felt. It scared me at first, but I *think* it was just gas. I woke up this morning and I've felt pretty good all day. I ate some lunch and then laid down with the girls. I just ate some cookies, and now I'm not feeling too well. I think I'm just scared. I'm getting closer to my u/s and I'm worried that there's going to be something wrong. I know it's all out of my hands, but it still scares the daylights out of me. I've had m/s on and off, but there's just no way to know in the first trimester. Ahh, I wish it was Friday! Then I'd have seen my peanut on the u/s and I wouldn't be freaking out as bad. I'm having some ligament pains, so hopefully all is well in my belly with my lovebug :confused:

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?w?d-March 27, 2009

Nice title, right? I don't know what my due date is anymore, and therefore don't know how far along I am. I had my first appointment and u/s yesterday with my doctor. I was so scared, and then when the u/s started I realized why. My baby is measuring behind. I thought I was due Nov. 8 when I got my positive pregnancy test. I have been keeping track of my cycles and know about when I Od. When I met with the nurse practicioner she changed my date to the second, and I knew that might be off. I went into the u/s expecting to be off by a week or so (based on the doctor's due date), but low and behold I'm 2 weeks behind (1 behind my original due date). I tried to keep the tears in but I was and still am scared out of my mind.

While the tech was doing the u/s she asked if I was positive about my last period. I said yes, and then explained that I thought my due date was the 8th based on my calculations. She told me that she was getting a due date of Nov. 17th based on the measurements of Lovebug. Then she pointed at the baby and asked if I saw the flickering that she was pointing at. I thought I did, but I wasn't sure, and she told me that it was the baby's heartbeat. She tried to get a read on it, but she couldn't. She said I shouldn't worry, but of course I am.

I went back into the room and started crying while I was waiting for my doctor. This just doesn't make sense to me. The only thoughts going through my head are 1) my dates are off (maybe implantation happened later in my cycle) 2) my baby is just getting a slow start and will get a spurt here in the next few days or 3) my baby isn't growing like he or she should and I'm going to lose him/her. I'm so scared of the last one....it kept me up almost all night. I need all the positive thoughts/vibes/prayers I can get right now. I cannot lose this baby! I have become so attached already. This is my child. I want to meet this baby in November. I go back for a growth check on April 8, so only 12 more days :confused:

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?w?d-March 28, 2009

I got a decent amount of sleep last night. My sister came over and she looked at the u/s picture and commented that Lovebug looked a whole lot bigger than her daughter at her 6w u/s. I'm just hanging onto that tiny bit of hope that I implanted much later than I thought, especially since I had a screwy cycle to begin with. I didn't even ovulate until CD21, and my cycles are typically only 29 days long. I'm going to try to relax over the weekend, but I'm sure I'll be analyzing any and all symptoms that I have. Please continue to send positive thoughts this way. Thank you!

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?w?d-April 2, 2009

This baby is sure trying to make mommy stress. This morning I went to the restroom and when I wiped I noticed a small amount of red blood. It wasn't much, but I noticed it. I tried to figure out where it was coming from, whether it was hemeroids or something else. I called the doctor to check, and all they told me to do was rest and drink lots of fluids. She thought it might be a broken blood vessel or a swollen cervix. I honestly think it was from going to the bathroom, but blood at any point during a pregnancy is terrifying. I only saw it 2 times, and have felt pretty normal throughout the rest of the day. I have the option to come in tomorrow morning if I want, but I think I may just wait it out. My appointment is on Wednesday. We'll see how the night goes. Ugh!! For all the trouble this LO is giving me, it better be a boy Wink I just have to try to stay calm over the weekend. Please keep sending positive thoughts this way!

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?w?d-April 3, 2009

Today is the first day that I'm scared something has happened to the baby. I didn't really have any m/s at all Sad My boobs still hurt and I've been peeing, but that's about it. I'm really scared. I wish I would have stayed home today and gone into the doctor's. My appointment is Wednesday, and if I really wanted to, I bet I could go to the ER. Who honestly wants to do that though? Agh!! :mad: I hate waiting!

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April 9, 2009

My baby has grown wings....I never thought this would really happen to me, although I've always been terrified of the first trimester. I tried to mentally prepare myself, but there's no way to really do that. I'm just devastated.....I was already so attached to this baby.

I went for my follow-up u/s yesterday and before the tech started, I told her I was really nervous. I explained that the last time I was in, the baby was smaller than what it should have been. She asked if there had been a heartbeat, and I said the tech thought she saw one, but I didn't. The second she started, I could tell there was no heartbeat. The baby didn't look any different than the last time I was there 2 weeks ago. In fact, it looked smaller. She took some measurements and I could tell they were off...the machine was giving me a new due date of Dec. 1. I started crying. She didn't really say anything to me, but that she was going to go get my doctor. Then I knew Sad My baby died.

Dr. Aldrich came in and said the tech told her the baby's heart had stopped beating. She sat in there while the tech did some more measurements and they looked again for a heartbeat, but I lost it. I cried for a long time and then went to back to a room to talk to the doctor. She said I had 2 options, and that she was surprised that I hadn't started bleeding already. Evidentally, the placenta has already ripped away from the uterus. She asked if I wanted to wait and miscarry on my own, or if I wanted and S&C. I opted for an S&C. I just want this over, and this way they'll be able to do some tests. I'm not expecting any answers, especially since the baby was so tiny, but one never knows. I go in tomorrow and I'm scared, angry, and frustrated. I know that everything really does happen for a reason, but when it happens to you, it really sucks! Todd and I both know that we want one more child, so when we're done grieving for our little lovebug, then we'll try again. Until then...I guess this journal is closed Sad