I found out on Friday that we are expecting baby number two. I swore that Tori would be an only child and it was difficult for me to confront my feelings about actually wanting another child. But I did it. And now I am pregnant.
It's a little hard right now. I am so excited to see more people join the birth board. But a part of me feels guilty because I don't have trouble getting pregnant. I knew what day I was going to ovulate, we had sex and I'm pregnant. It's not that easy for most of the girl around this site and I feel like I shouldn't be too excited just yet because they are dealing with so much. I don't even always know what to say because I have no idea what they are going through. The women in my family are as fertile as they come. My grandmother has 19 grandchildren and I believe that only four of them were planned pregnancies. And HER mother (who died eight years ago) had thirty-some grandchildren, sixty-some great-grand children, and Tori who would have been her first great grandchild! The women in our family get pregnant. It's just what we do.
Jon's really excited. We went to the circus last night... Jon's grandfather is able to get four tickets for cheap every year. It was just the three of us and I commented that it was nice to have an extra seat to dump all of our stuff on and he said, "But not next year!!!"
I am nervous. After what it was like last time, I'd be crazy not to be afraid. There were times when the pain and the sickness were so bad that I thought not only were we going to lose Tori, but I wasn't going to make it through, either. It was terrifying. Getting sicker and sicker and being told it was all in my head. I know that those issues have all been resolved and I think I am the healthiest that I have ever been right now, but it doesnt mean I am not scared!!!
I need to go eat. I feel a bit queasy and I KNOW the first rule of fighting m/s is "EAT BEFORE YOU FEEL HUNGRY".