I guess you can say this is my second journal since the new boards came about.
Today I am 7weeks-4days.
It seems like forever until I start showing; feeling the kicks and hiccups; or seeing that I am Pregnant!
I have been experiencing some nausea lately. It started right on Wednesday (7weeks). I thought for sure I was going to bypass it, but I guess not. I'm really not complaining though, I did want to experience all the aspects of Pregnancy.
I don't think it really has sunk in completely that I am indeed pregnant. I woke up this morning to tell my DH that I have our baby growing inside of me. My clothes are fitting a little bit tighter, but I think it is because of me eating to much
DH is coming along better day by day where the baby is concerned. Yesterday he let his male ego show, and said that he should sell his "Potent" sperm for 10,000 bux. Cute huh?
Anywhoo, nothing else new to report. The kitchen is comin along in
s-l-o-w--m-o-t-i-o-n. I have just been feeling so tired lately. I have decided on the color scheme. The cabinets are white; withthe walls being a sandy color. I want to make the kitchen more bright, seeings how artificial light isn't a plenty. I did get some of the cabinets painted white though, and they look so crisp...especially compared to the old 70's wood that they were before.
I have been thinking about names for the baby and such. I haven't really ran them past DH yet; and I figured we still have several months left to really decide. I kinda like Trenton Marcell; and MacKenzye Kalise. I want my kids to have names that can carry on into adulthood. I don't think names like Brandon or Kaylee sound like names of prominent CEO's of companies. Plus, I want names that are easy to pronounce and spell. Don't want the kids to be traumitized by repeatedly having to say or spell their names. In my job, I run across some reall winners. For example: Diamond, or Precious. Or my personal favorite Shawquondalenda. What the heck it that. But anyway, I digress.
Well, today I am 7wks-6days. Tomorrow I will be the big 2months.
Why OH Why is time going by so slowly?
If I was still having a cycle, it would have started Sunday. It feels weird not having one. I mean, I've had one consistently since I was 13, and to be without one is a strange feeling.
I started working out again yesterday. I stopped because of the subchoronic bleeding, but started back (low-impact style). I have been gaining weight like there is no tomorrow. I swear in like a week, I've gained 6lbs. I don't understand it. I still watch what I eat (sometimes); I have cut out the soda, and high fatty foods. I don't fry anything. The only thing I did differently was stopped working out. I swear I feel like a blimp about to explode. And what is up with these boobs. Will they ever stop growing. My buttons on my shirts are begging to be set free. My belly, I swear looks like I am 5months...with my 3rd child.
Well enough complainng..I guess.
On to other news. I noticed a strange coincidence the other day. -I O'd on either a Wednesday or a Thursday (unsure-both were peak days according to FM)
-I tested on a Wednesday.
-Ultrasound was on a Wednesday.
-1st bought of MS (true butt kicking) was on a Wednesday
-1st prenatal appt (was on a Friday, but got changed to a Wednesday).
-EDD is...you guessed it...a Wednesday.
It's sorta freaky, but kinda cool. DH wants me to play the lottery
with (he's superstitious like that). I think I will tomorrow, what could it hurt?
Last week I bought a prenatal monitor that lets you listen to the heartbeat. the only thing is its only good in the late 2nd or 3rd trimester. Its good after the baby is born too because you can use it as an actual monitor/intercom.
Nothing new to report on the baby side of things. I still have MS. It is dispursed throughout the day. The tight belly feeling is still there, as well as the tiredness and frequent peeing. No one at work said to me, hey you look like your PG, yet; although they see me mopeing around 1st thing because I feel ill when I get here.
No progress on the kitchen...and don't really care either.
It's been so rainy that I can't get into the yard and plant my garden (so that's a little bit behing schedule).
I swear my life is going in slow motion, I guess I should be glad because in a few months, it will be going at the speed of light.
*My dearest Snookie...Tomorrow you will be two months old. Your development is happening so rapidly. I can't express enough how proud your father and I are of you for being so strong. You truly are a god send, and with every passing day, we love you more and more*
Hard to believe that I am already two months. I guess when you look back on it, time really does fly. I just hope it continues to go by rather quickly, I want my Snookie here NOW!
One of the girls from another board I joined (yes I am moonlighting) started bleeding. I pray for her, and will keep her in my thoughts.
Symptoms are still prevalent. I have extremely sore boobies. I think I am going to have to start wearing a bra to bed. I woke up this am to say goodbye to DH, and wanted to cry because they were so sore. My stomach still feels like I have been doing situps, and I have been getting the feeling like AF is going to start again. I go to the bathroom (constantly), I go at least twice during bedtime. I am tired, and bone dead by the time I get home. DH makes fun of me because I go to sleep at 6-6:30pm. It's so cute that he doesn't understand that being Preggo is really draining.
I stopped weighing myself. It was beginning to be heartwrenching. I do however have to watch my blood pressure because HBP runs in my family. Father has had 3 or 4 heart attacks and 2 strokes; he also isn't the healthiest person either, aside from his ailments.
One of the guys I work with, who knows I am preggo got mad at me today because I picked up a plastic trash bag. It wasn't heavy, to say the least; actually it was filled with a couple of toys. I snapped at him because he as well as other persons act as though I don't know what my limits are. If my Snookie isn't strong enough to survive daily actvities, then so be it. I can't live my life in a glass bubble. Of course I am not going to lift or do anything beyond my control, but he couldn't grasp that. Like I would intentionally hard my baby growing inside of me. I just have faith that my Snookie is just as strong and as powerful as his/her parents.
Anywhoo, just had to get that off my chest. Well, gotta go. I gotta finish typing this report to take down to the police station.
Oh, I have really been giving consideration to Trenton Marcell Phillips; and MacKenzye Kalise Phillips. Trent and Mac for short. I kinda like those names; but who knows...they may change...again!
*Snookie, you are 2months and 1day today. I fantasize about you all the time. Wondering who you will favor, whose personality you will take after (I hope it's mine--daddy's is kinda dry), whose intelligence you will take after (I hope it's daddies because I really don't like to learn new things). We want to meet you, to hold you, adn to show you new things, and protect you from bad ones. We love you dearly. Luv, Mommy and Daddy.*
I don't know why I was saying that I was 8weeks 5days. Time is really going by fast. It just seemed like yesterday that I found out I was Pregnant.
DH is on strike from his job. They want them to take too many concessions. We were afraid, well, DH anyway, was afraid that this would happen. I kept believing that it wouldn't (So much for doubting him). It started on Monday, and hopefully it ends soon before money starts crunching. We only have insurance till the end of this month. I have my first prenatal appt. on May 21, and hopefully they have it settled by then. That's one of the problems...the company wants them to pay for their insurance. They want them to pay 10-20 then 30 percent for the three years of the contract. By the 3rd year DH will be paying 170 dollars for family coverage. The insurance plan they have now is 100%paid, with 100%coverage. You have to pay a co-pay of 10 dollars. With the proposed plan, it will be 90/10 where you have to pay 10% of the total DR. bill. I hope they can fight this, in a short period of time. They have the Twin Towers rebuilding contract; but they have steel in storage to supply them for awhile. I just want this to be over. DH is sad that he isn't working...the first time in YEARS! the last time the company went on strike, was in 91 and it lasted 11days.
On another note, progress on the kitchen is finally occuring. DH primed the cabinets, and is beginning to prime the backsplash wall.
DH is coming around about he pregnancy. He's talking about it more (without prompting), and he's apathetic about the MS. He even tells me when its time to take a nap...How Cute We have been thinking of names. I know they change daily. DH thinks Diamond for a girl is cute. Can you say STRIPPER! We are still on the table with that one.
I have been having Ms on and off. It hasn't been bad in the morning when I first get up, but rather kinda bad at work and late at night. The boobies are still sore. I wear a bra to bed to kinda help with that, and it works MAN DOES IT WORK! I still urinate alot, and have the tightness of the stomach (although not as prominent). My shirts are beginning to get too small (bought some new ones the other day). I went to Walmart to look for maternity clothes, and the two racks of clothes they had were BUTT UGLY! Just because we are preggo doesn't mean we have to lose our fashion sense. I have been tired still, and gassy with a burping a a funny taste. My skin is like the saraha desert...no matter how much lotion I use.
That's pretty much it. I gotta get back to work. TTFN!
*Snookie-the only thing I can say is that mommy and daddy love you, and cherish the day we get to meet you!*
Another 3 weeks, and I will be in my second tri-mester. I so cannot wait until that happens.
I applied for my insurance at work today. I had to produce a letter from DH job stating that insurance is terminated. So it looks like for the month of May, I may be insurance less. I pray and hope nothing happens. I will however have to reschedule my May 21st DR.'s appointment. BUMMER
On DH's job, the strike is still going on. They have a Federal Mediator coming in today. I guess the mediator will be looking at both sides, and making a decision that will hopefully benefit both. I have been praying that the strike ends soon. DH is miserable because of his lack of work, and I am miserable because of the worry of insurance. I'm not really worried about the money because we are great savers, and have enough saved up to cover at least a few months of bills.
I went to Target yesterday and bought three maternity shirts. I know I know, DH is on strike and I am spending money. But you have to understand that they were on SALE. I got three of the cutest shirts. One I will probably be able to wear at about 4 months...the others, probably at about 5 or 6 months. My BD is May 19, and persons at work have been asking me what it is that I want. I have been telling them gift certificates to maternity clothing stores. Just because I am pregnant...I still want to look good! I saw some of the ugliest clothes at Walmart the other day. They were so unfashionable. I mean don't get me wrong, if that's your taste in clothing so be it, but it is so not mine.
Speaking of yesterday, I had the most emotional day ever. I couldn't stop crying. I was talking about a client to a co-worker of mine, and startd crying. I had to talk to my boss about it, (Luckily I held back) but after talking to him I started crying. Listening to a radio commercial, I started crying. I don't know why, because I am so not the type to let people see I am hurting. But I couldn't control it. Chock it up to hormones I guess.
Anywho, I guess that's pretty much all in the world of Stephanie. Till Later...
*Snookie-I know you feel mama is under a wee bit of stress, but I have been doing some stress reduction techniques so that it won't affect you. I want you to continue to grow healthy and strong, and know that mommy and daddy love you very much, and no matter how much stress we are under, it will never interfere with our feelings about you. Love ya!*
I am beginning to think I can no longer post anything to my computer at home. I don't know why it won't let me do it, it always says Invalid Session.
Anywhoo.. I am 9 weeks-5 days today! 2 more days and I will be the big 10!
I talked to the next door neighbors girlfriend yesterday. She's 4 months pregnant and showing already. Man I hope that is how I will be at 4 months. My stomach is bloated, but I don't think it is considered "Showing". I kinda feel sorry for her because she was kicked out of her aunt's home and was staying with her boyfriend for a bit. She recently moved into her own apt. but have no gas or water. She doesn't need those stressors in her life. IMO
Progress is really being made on our kitchen. We painted a good part of it (or should I say I painted). DH started his new job today. Albeit temporary, but it's money. Speaking of me painting...I hope it was ok. I looked it up on the internet, and it said that todays paint are mercury free, so it's much more healthier. The fumes may cause nausea or lightheadness but aren't necessarily harmful to you or the baby. I though that was good, but it also said that if you could avoid it, to do so. The kitchen needed done, my house is a complete mess. And DH is being a complete a** and said that because it was my idea, he dosen't want to do it. Our house is in complete shambles because our kitchen is disarayed. and I haven't had a cooked meal in days. Eating out is so not healthy. While i was painting, I started feeling a little lightheaded, but would take a break when that would happen. Why does he have to be so mean at times. he can be such a jerk! I tell him that I should be taking it easy because the first three months are the most critical, but he doesn't seem to care at times. Maybe I am being a little b*tch, but I can't help but have those thoughts about him.
Anywhoo, onto a different note. Saturday, DH and I BD'd (before the jerk came out in him) for the first time since being told not to for 4 weeks because of the subchioronic hemmorage. It was 3 weeks 3 days, but we did it anyway. I didn't have any complications or bleeding, so I think it may be healed!
Nothing new to report on the baby front. I started taking measurements of my belly, and it has grown 3 sizes. My boobs have grown 4 inches in diameter. I had a burst of energy on Friday, by Sunday it was pretty much all gone. I think it had a lot to do with me painting and stuff. No real bouts of nausea, although it was prevalent. Stomach still feels tight, and boobs still hurt like crazy but are withstandable).
Well, I'm getting kinda hungry. TTFN!
~Snookie, You are growing so big and strong. You are about the size of my thumb by now. Your developing so quickly, it's hard to believe just a few months ago, you were just a thought in my mind. Now in a few months, you will actually be here in my arms. Your mommy and daddy love you dearly, and are patiently counting the days till we meet you. Love always, Mom~
Less than two weeks until my 1st prenatal appt! I can't wait. I now have insurance. YIPPIE! I am so freakin happy! It was effective the day DH lost his insurance on the 28th of April. So that means I get to keep my appt!
Sunday I missed the last three steps into our basement and twisted my ankle. I am doing much better now, I am able to walk on it and such. Today is the 1st day without the brace. I am beginning to wonder if clumsiness is a sign of PG. I have also been noticing that I cannot keep things in my hands. Yesterday, I kept dropping the same thing over and over...and usually I have great coordination (I was a server for 4 years and balancing plates is a great feat)
No new progress to report on the kitchen. It is sorta at a standstill since DH started working the other job this week.
No new PG symptoms to report. Nausea is pretty much gone, I rarely feel it anymore. Boobies are still sore, and tightness of the belly is no longer felt. I do however feel my uterus now, esp. if I am in a certain position. I have noticed a milkish discharge when I use TP (I know TMI), but I have been noticing that since being PG (just finally wrote about it) Tiredness is beginning to ease up. I notice that I am less sleeply at work. I am assuming this is all due to me entering into the 2nd trimester in a couple weeks. I parinoidly take my temp every morning since the fall to ensure my temp is still high, and it is.
Anywhoo, gotta get back to work, they are starting to monitor our internet usage (damn them)
Snookie~I feel such a closeness to you recently. I touch you my stomach nightly in hopes that you can feel my presence. I daydream about you constantly, and am so totally looking forward to meeting you. There have been so many bad things that happend in my lifetime, and I can finally say that the day I hold you in my arms will be the day that my life becomes perfect. I totally want to be your mommy, as dad wants to be your daddy. He's a little different than mommy, but you'll see that in due time. The only thing you need to know for right now is that We love you dearly, and cherish the day we both have you in our arms~Love Mommy and Daddy
Gossip at work forced me to tell everyone I was preggo earlier that I had hoped to...but oh well, life goes on.
DH is still on strike. That blows, but hopefully the meeting they have tomorrow resolves something.
I bought some more shirts yesterday. I went to Fashion Bug, and but 3 shirts that were sixes 18/20. They are big enough so that I can wear them when I start poking out.
Speaking of poking out, I compared a photo of my belly to one that I took before I lost the weight to see if my belly was contributed to me just being fat, or to the baby. Well, I seriously think it is mostly due to the baby. When I was heavier, my belly hung like a beer belly. Now, it sticks out, and doesn't hang at all. I can still fit into my pre preggo pants, however, I can't button some of the more stiffer ones. The ones that are more elasticized, I can; however, jeans....I don't even try to.
DH is being more of a darling lately. He always touches my belly to see if he can feel anything. Of course he can't but its so cute that he tries to.
No more progress on the kitchen, still need to buy a sink before the countertops can be installed.
Mother's day was pretty good. I spent it with my mom's side of the family. Everyone knew I was preggo, and was soooo happy for me. My sisters, MIL and SIL are throwing me a baby shower the weekend of Labor Day. I will only be 6 months preggo, but that is cool. At least I won't be that big, and it will give me more time to prepare everything. As well as buying things that I don't get. My sister's SIL had a baby shower at the last minut, and delivered her baby 1 day later.
Well, that's it for now, like I said...they are monitoring our internet usage at work.
~Snookie, you are my treasure that I can't wait to hold. When I think of what you are going to be like, who you'll become, I can't help but instantly smile. You bring me so much joy, and you aren't even born yet. I as well as your daddy love you dearly. Keep growing stronger and stronger. Love mommy and daddy!~
Man oh man, If I don't have bad luck with these computers. My computer at home, won't let me post anything. And my computer at works takes 4-EVER!
Today I am 11 weeks, 6 days preggo!
I have my DR's appt. tomorrow. I am a little bit scared and elated at the same time. I desperately want to her "Snookie's" heartbeat again. DH can't come with me, so I am tape recording it for him. I woke up one morning thinking that "Snookie" wasn't there. It wasn't a dream or anything, it's just that when I woke up, my boobies didnt hurt as bad at they usually do, and I started getting worried. I remember earlier in my PG, I took on the mind set that if the inevitable happens then so be it, but now that I have grown used to having him/her in my belly, I get worried.
I got a crib on Saturday, it was my nephew's (he's 5) It's white, and need a little bit of touch up work, but all in all, it's cute. Just one less thing we will have to buy. I know, you're wondering what happend to the whole IKEA bedroom set....well, since DH went on strike, I have been really trying to cut back on the spending.
Yesterday was my 28th B-day. I got a Motherhood Maternity 200.00gift certificate. They have the cutest maternity clothes. I have to remember to shop for ones that I can still wear after the baby is born..i.e, non-maternityish maternity clothes. I also got a pregnancy work-out video.
Lets see, I think I have updated ya'll on everything. No new symptoms to report. My belly is still poking out. I have gained 11 lbs (WTF) I am so pissed at that. But, it's too late now. After going to the DR tomorrow, I am going to restart back exercising (SLOWLY). I want to get the OK from her though. My boobs are still sore; MS is pretty much gone. I still have boughts here and there, but nothing I can't handle.
Snookie~I am beginning to see the effects of having you growing inside me. My belly is getting bigger, and I can feel my uterus a few inches below my belly button. When your daddy touches my belly, he is trying to be closer to you; as does I. Daddy misses out on our bonding time, and I know he regrets it. But I am sure that when you are born, all that would change. We love you dearly, and care for you truly, Mommy and Daddy~
Finally! I have been having so many problems with my computer at home. I have AOL, and it wouldn't let me post to any of the boards. You can imagine my frustration, when I would type a whole slew of stuff only to have it post and tell me INVALID SESSION. I wanted to scream. So the only computer I could use was the one at work, but they are monitoring my computer usage...well actually the entire agencies usage, because I guess we use the internet too much for non work purposes.
Anyways....this is going to be a long and negative post, so if you don't like reading this type of thing, I advise you to move on to the next board.
The following day...thursday, my step-mom died. She was in the hospital for open heart surgery, and although the surgery wen twell, her body shut down. In a way, I am glad she passed because I know she is in a much much better place. Her time on earth was spent with much suffering. She was in and out of the hospital because of her heart. She had two heart attacks already. She was constantly worrying about money and her daughters. In my opinion, the stress two of them caused her contributed to her last attack. One daughter is with a good for nothing husband, who cheats on her (with her younger sister) and beats her. She is always arguing with my step-mom over petty stuff, and holds a grudge against her for everything that was done in the past. Don't get me wrong, she wasn't the best mom inthe world; but for the past 7 or 8 years she was steadily trying to make it up to them, but this sister wouldn't forgive her.
My other sister, hell...she has two kids that she doesn't take care of. This is the sister that slept with her sister's sorry azz husband (before they were married mind you--not years, but a few months before--they even went to jail fighting over it) She lived wit my step-mom, but was never there. She does drugs, and sleeps with whomever has a penis. My step-mom, would go to work from 10pm to 6am, come home to get her grand kids ready for school b/c mom wouldn't be there...then have to take care of her handicapped brother. Who was worthless also. He received SSI monthly, but wouldn't contribute a dime. They were always facing dsconnection of utilities, and eviction or some other money problem.
She was a tough lady, that fell tired of taking care of everyone and everything...but not herself.
At the hospital, Sister one was pissed she died, because "I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF HER MESS NOW". Can you believe that selfish biotch saying that. She is more worried about how she is going to deal with things, meaning sister 2 and her handicapped uncle. She was totally pissing me off so much that I wanted to JAP-Slap her butt.
Sister #2 had the audicity to say, "who is gonna take care of me?" HEFFA, you are 21 years old, you can take care of your self. But she never had too because my step-mom did everything. TO bad, now she has to grow up...my heart strings are playing fro her...NOT!
Then last night...my sorry azz daddy had the nerve to call me. I HATE THIS MAN! And to make matters worse. MY DH gave me the phone. He said he didn't recognize his voice. BUll****. If someone from 10 years ago call me, I could recognize thier voice. DH should have noticed the evil in his tone. I wanted to curse him out so freakin bad, but didn't want the stress to upset the baby. This man is the worse man ever...in my world. He has done some crap to me that I could never forgive him for. He took away my innocence for 16 years, as well as other relatives. But the saddest part, is that he has and will continue to get away with it. He had the nerve to tell me that He sees I am still mad...Hell yeah I am still mad! He took away my life for 16 years, and expect ME to forgive him. I will the day he lies dead in his grave! Then says...well, I didn't tell anyone. Well Yippie...I wonder why. Could it be because if he did his butt would be in jail rottening somewhere. Gee, I wonder.
Anywhoo, this is an extremely negative and sad post (except where I am talking about Snookie). Actually, I think I am moving my Snookie post to another message, becuase I don't want all this negativity to be next to my Positive post about Snookie.