Since Im starting this at 16 weeks and 5 days, let me do a recap of what has happened uptil this point.
I caught baby fever and me and Alex decided it was time to start a family. We are stable enough with each other to do so. It was August 21st, and I was expecting af any day. I took a pregnancy test, and it was negative. I was heartbroken, but kind of also didn't expect to get pregnant on my first cycle of trying. August 24th came around and I still hadn't gotten my period. Alex was convinced I was pregnant and had been telling me I was even though I got the negative hpt. So I took another test and IT WAS POSITIVE!!!!!!!! That day we went to a water park and of course I didn't go on any big rides. It's amazing how the protective nature of a mother kicks in right away.
The next couple weeks were pretty smooth. No morning sickness right away, just alot of bloating. I thought I was getting pretty huge FAST. I probably gained most of my weight during this time lol. Then I went away to toronto on Sept 7th. While I was there the real morning sickness set in. I was also eating better though. Alex had a real hard time without me, and I would cry when I missed him. The pregnancy hormones weren't easy on me.
When I was almost 10 weeks I started spotting. It scared the heck outta me. I cried my eyes out and thought for sure that I had lost my baby. I went to the ER and spent about 700+ dollars but found out that baby was okay, and got to have an ultrasound!!!!!!!! Baby was the most beautiful sight I have ever seen.
Im glad I am back home with Alex. It is really important for me to be with my fiance during this time. It is so cute when he gets up with me when I have to puke in the middle of the night and holds my hair out of my face. I am so in love with him.
We had an ultrasound at 15 weeks and three days, ON MY BIRTHDAY!! Baby was measuring on track. I asked the technician for a guess on what she thought the gender was, but baby wasn't letting anyone have a peek. My gut feeling is girl right now. I would be happy either way though. I scheduled my big gender ultrasound this morning for Dec 4th, then we will finally know!!
That is all for now, I am at work and dealing with an anal customer on the phone right now. Grrrr!
Morning sickness is finally starting to let up a little, as I started week 16.
And I start off the day feeling queasy. Get into the shower, and . It was not very fun. My stomach was empty so it was actually dry heaving, which hurts like heck and gives you no satisfaction!
I feel bad because this morning Alex was like, "you were really mean to me last night". I'm like what?! Turns out I said some mean stuff to him in my sleep that I don't even recall! I vaguely remember crying while I was sleeping and getting really upset because I was so uncomfortable. It's amazing how putting on 10 pounds can throw your body off so much. I always wake up about 17 times throughout the night and if Alex doesn't have his arms wrapped around me I complain and tell him to hold me until he does. He usually flips right over and takes me into his arms and comforts me. Last night was no different, but I still couldn't get comfortable, and I feel really bad for taking it out on him and hitting and kicking him in my sleep.
I warned him that it's only going to get worse most likely, as I continue to gain weight and pretty soon babys kicks are going to be keeping me up at night as well!! I guess I get jealous that he sleeps like a baby while Im constantly getting up to go to the bathroom or to find a new comfortable position. I need a pregnancy pillow!!!
Alex picked me up from work for lunch and I stuffed myself. Food tastes awesome while Im eating, but soon afterwards I feel everything slowly creeping back up and I have to fight to keep it down. I can't wait till morning sickness (all day sickness) is finally over. I hope by the time of my next midwife visit (nov 30th) she doesn't tell me I have gained too much weight!!
Well, for Alex's sake I hope tonight goes a little more smoothly.
YAY FOR REACHING 17 WEEKS!!!!
I have today off from work! I have lots of hw to do today though.
Last night Alex rubbed my tummy for a while, and then tried to hear baby. It was so cute. It was great bonding time for all three of us. I have been feeling small movements down there.
Im glad I haven't thrown up much yesterday or today. And I have an appointment with my midwife on friday!!!
I talked to Alex about a homebirth, and he flat out said "that's what the hospital beds are for". I think he's scared of a mess at home and the birth not being organized and something going wrong. So I mentioned looking into a birthing center. He is completely supportive of me trying a natural birth, and I know he will help me through it up until the point I decide I need meds, or the midwife/doctor thinks another route is better. I really hope I can get through the entire thing naturally though. Can't wait to plan everything in detail!!!
I love you baby. And I love you Alex.
I wish I had energy to write more right now, but I really don't. With work, classes, being pregnant, and being a wife, I dont have too much time for updating this. I WILL catch up over the weekend hopefully though.
Love you my little baby.
And I feel huge!
Everyone else says I'm tiny for how far along I am, but let me tell you, my back pain says otherwise. I had an EKG and an Echocardiogram done yesterday and the doctor doing it was a really nice guy who works with my dad. When he was looking at my heart, I asked him if it was just a normal ultrasound type thing, and he goes "Yes, we can take a look at baby afterwards too, and I'll print out some pictures for you!!" We got to see him sucking his thumb, take a look at his heart and spine, and felt and watched him kick me at the same time. The doctor said that he thinks baby is going to be atleast 8 pounds when he is born!! He said he looks like a big baby. Oh great.
I talked to DH about moving into a different apartment. The thing is, our money supply is really gonna hurt because I am not going to be working once baby is born. I know he worries about it, and wants to provide a comfortable living for his family. Hopefully someday in the future we will be 'living comfortably'.
I have an appointment on Wed with the Doctor. I hope I get some positive news.
Alex and I went to a Pregnancy class at the hospital. It was pretty cool to see the Labor and Delivery section where I will be giving birth. We went into a room with a hot tub, and Alex goes "the hot tubs are for the men, right?"
So, I just got up and went to the bathroom. I gotta tell you, it is one of the greatest feelings. Too bad it only lasts for about 20 mins. I have 33 mins left at work... hopefully I dont have to stay for overtime tonight. I want to go somewhere for Eid on Friday, but I'm not sure where yet.
Alex was out until 3:30 last night playing poker and hanging out with his guy friends. I figure I might as well let him do this now, as I will not be letting him do it when the baby comes. He asked if I wanted to come, but I had to be up for work at 7.
I wonder if one day my parents will be a part of my life and my sons life.
Every day is an accomplishment full of growth and learning.
I can't believe how quick it is going by now. Last night I said to Alex, "Pretty soon I won't fit into any of my normal clothes anymore!" and he goes, "Pretty soon I'm going to be holding my son in my hands".
My jaw dropped. He is so right. It really is sneaking up on me. I am worrying about whether or not I am ready for labor.. if I am going to be able to handle the pain or not. I want to get some books to start reading up on it.
So today, I feel absolutely HUGE. I feel like I could be knocking things over with my tummy and not know it. I'm glad that babys doing well, but I kinda miss my old body. I think it's because I have a history of self image issues and eating disorders.. so seeing myself get so big is scary. I gotta keep myself excited about it and Alex does a great job at helping me with that. When I'm feeling down about my tummy, he'll just know and start kissing it. It's wonderful.
I really need to cut the junk out of my diet though. That is NOT gonna help me, but it can be so much easier than anything else. For instance, breakfast today was a strawberry shortcake ice cream bar. And for a snack after that I had some chocolate. I feel so guilty about it!!!!!!
I really need to follow it up with a healthy lunch and healthy dinner.
Another subject, we need to start thinking of names!!!! I'll list some of the ones I have brainstormed so far here. Alex of course isnt crazy about any of them. I am gonna name him an arabic/muslim name though, it is very important to me.
I gotta think of more.. I wish one would just jump out at me!
I have an appointment at 2:45 with the Doctor. It's gonna be my first time meeting with her, I hope it goes well. Im getting a nervous feeling in my tummy about this.. I hope I get all good news today. I may have to have a biopsy after the baby is born, and then regular pap smears from that point on about every three months just to make sure there are no changes in the cervical tissue. It really sucks, I've never had an abnormal pap before, and only been with one guy before DH (which I wish I could take back so badly). All I can do is pray to God and hope for the best. Hopefully I can still have more kids in the future as well.
It feels nice to not go to work.
I had Friday off, called in on Saturday, and have today off. Then I'll go in on Monday, and have Tuesday off. Woohoo.
I think I may have started some early nesting. Yesterday I cleaned out the closet, some drawers, dusted, threw away a bunch of old stuff and just did a whole lotta random cleaning. Then last night when Alex got home from work we went to Price Chopper to get some fresh yummy produce, and then decided to go to Dennys for some late dinner. When we got home, Alex saw a folded piece of paper on his desk and picked it up. I had written him a poem while he was at work. I get really shy about stuff like that so I tried to take the paper from his hand and told him he couldn't read it lol but of course he's bigger so that didn't work to well. Instead, I pushed him onto the bed and massaged his back while he read it. He said it was beautiful just like me. I love him. It has been a year since we moved in together.
Later at night when we were getting in bed, Alex started to rub my tummy. All the sudden baby started kicking like crazy! Alex must have sat there for about half an hour rubbing and poking my tummy, and feeling his son kick back. It was absolutely amazing. Subhanallah.
Back at work and so extremely tired.
And work is so busy today. I wish I could be at home sleeping in the warm comfy bed.
Yesterday was a fun day, got lotsa goodies. A car seat (which I'm not crazy about, so this friday we are going to target to see if we can find one to exchange it with), a robe, some pjs, long johns, jewelry, a fondou kit, a digital picture frame, some gift cards, some baby clothes, baby brush/comb, chocolates, a candle, socks, baby booties!!, a pretty lamp, and some other things I'm probably forgetting about.
It was nice to just sit around with family and have a good time, watch old baby movies, and eat some yummy food.
I am measuring about 8.5 squares of tp. I feel baby kick allllll the time. Hopefully this weekend we can go to syracuse, get some halal food and some baby goodies from babies r us. Well, it's almost lunch break time aka nap time for me.
So today I am 23 weeks pregnant and have an appointment in 8 days. Im a little worried about when they weigh me. And Im worried that lately he hasn't been moving as much.
On the good side, we bought a crib, dresser, bedding, and bouncy seat!!!!! We have tons of clothes all organized into the drawers. It is super exciting, I love opening the drawers and looking at his clothes.
Next we need to buy a few more bedding sets, a tub, some more clothes couldn't hurt, a breast pump and some boob cream stuff, etc etc.
I'm gonna go home tonight and organize all the clothes by size. We didn't do that when we were putting them away in the drawers because it was already 1 am and I had work the next day.
So Alex likes the name Vidal. It's a no go for me though. I couldn't imagine having to call him Vidal.. it just doesn't flow easily off my tongue and I don't wanna have to struggle to pronounce my sons name lol. Hopefully a name comes to us soon, or maybe he'll be nameless for a few days after he's born lol.
Mmm I wanna go home and bake some chicken with some biscuits and a salad.