Yesterday evening I started to feel a little sick to my stomach. It got worse as the night went on. I was in class, so I was trying so hard to just get through that without throwing up. I went to bed pretty much as soon as I got home to see if that would help. I woke up feeling so much worse this morning. Although I had been nauseated off and on, it has never been this strong. I still have not thrown up, which I'm glad about, but I wonder if I would maybe feel better if I did. I definitely don't feel like eating anything. I did eat supper last night, though. I know I have to eat, but I don't know how I'm going to do it today. I hope that it gets better!
Yea! It is FINALLY here! The day that I have my first appointment. We will be leaving soon for it. I am really excited and nervous. I am also really sick to my stomach this morning. That has been getting worse each day. Yesterday I thought I figured out that as long as I keep something in my stomach, I won't feel sick. We bought a big box of cheese crackers so that I can carry them with me and snack when I need to. Last night, it didn't work for me to just eat, though. I was still feeling really sick. Well, I hope that the sickness part of it subsides soon so I can enjoy this more. My breasts seem to still be getting bigger and they are still pretty sore. I wonder when they will stop growing? I'm still tired a lot, but I'm coping with that by taking little rest breaks when I need to. I am trying now to figure out all the questions I want to ask my doctor this morning. I want to write them down so that I don't forget when I get there. I am also going to send an e-mail announcement to my old co-workers after the appointment today. That will be exciting, too!
My appointment went fine yesterday. I was a little dissappointed that I didn't get an ultrasound and that I don't get one until I am 18 weeks along. I guess I just have something to really look forward to now. The doctor said that everything is looking great and I am going to meet with a nurse practitioner in 4 weeks. She will discuss a lot of things with me about classes we should take and what to expect and things like that. The doctor gave me a prescription for the morning sickness, but I don't think I should take it yet. It is an antihistamine, which I know will make me fall asleep. Since I babysit during the day, I just can't do that. Maybe I will take one tonight before bedtime and see if I can sleep better that way. I haven't been sleeping well the last couple of nights since I've been feeling so sick. I tried eating crackers this morning before I got out of bed, but I didn't have time to stay in bed for a few minutes, so it didn't seem to help too much. At least I haven't thrown up (yet). I just ate my cereal, so we'll see if I can keep it down. I feel really tired today since I didn't sleep well last night. I went to Target last night to pick up that prescription and I found a clearance rack in the infant section. I bought 3 cute little outfits that could be for a boy or a girl. One was $3 and the other 2 were $2. I just couldn't pass them up. One is demin, one is light blue, and one is yellow. 2 of them are Winnie the Pooh outfits. Mark wasn't thrilled about that, I don't think. ha. ha. I sent an announcement e-mail to all of my old co-workers yesterday, so I spent most of the afternoon answering congratulations e-mails. That was fun to get to tell them. Mark is telling his team at work today, so I guess that will be everybody!
This morning sickness (lasting all day and night) is kicking my butt! I feel terrible all the time. It's awful! I have tried everything anybody has suggested. The doctor gave me medicine, but I can only take it at night because it knocks me out. At least I am able to sleep when I take it. I don't wake up feeling sick to my stomach during the night or anything, so that's good. Anyway, last night I was coming home from school, and I was just sure I was going to throw up. I got home and quickly went into the bathroom to bend over the toilet, when I saw something on the shower. It was one of the little outfits I had bought the other day for the baby. On it, was a note that said, "I'm sorry I make your tummy hurt, mommy. I hope these make your tummy feel better and brighten your day." Inside were two gift certificates. One to home depot so we can buy some flowers this weekend and one to the cheesecake factory! Yummy! I just thought that Mark doing that little note thing was the sweetest thing in the world! He feels so bad that I don't feel good. He has been great doing the laundry, feeding the dogs and anything he can do to help me out. I feel bad that I'm not doing stuff like I used to, but he seems to understand. I will be glad when I feel better so that I can go back to cleaning and taking care of stuff like I'm used to doing. Mark just wants me to do whatever I need to do to feel better. I usually go to bed pretty early, but he doesn't mind. He is just the GREATEST! I love him so much and just by the way he is treating me and the baby now, I know he is going to be the greatest dad ever!
The other night I had a dream that we had our baby (it was a girl), but I was not ready. I didn't have anything for her, not even a crib. She slept in our entry way for some reason. I was trying to breastfeed her, but I didn't know how, so she didn't eat at all for the first day. Everytime I went back to sleep I would dream about not being a good parent or not knowing what to do. I have been babysitting since I was old enough to do so. I take care of a little boy now. I have taken care of him all day every weekday since he was 3 months old (he's a year now), so I should feel like I know what to expect and how to take care of a baby. I am just kind of freaking out now. I have never worried about being a good parent before, I just knew that someday I would have children and I would love them and raise them right. I never doubted myself until now. Now that I know I have a certain number of months until I have a baby, I feel like I am going crazy. Every dream I have is about the baby or about my husband cheating on me. That is something he would NEVER do! I don't ever have to worry about that, but I dream it. I am just feeling so insecure right now. I really need to do something about that. I think that maybe after we find out the sex and start really getting ready and after we take some classes, I will feel better about it. I have still been fighting the morning sickness as well. That doesn't help matters any. I hope that my mind will settle down some really soon before I go crazy!
When will this ever end? I want so much to enjoy finally being pregnant, but I feel awful! I am so tired and weak and I feel sick to my stomach all the time! I am so ready to be over this part so that I can feel normal again. I cleaned the kitchen last night and you would have thought I ran a marathon, it made me so tired. This is crazy! I hate feeling this way because I want to be happy that I am finally going to have a baby, but it's hard to be joyful when you feel like you could throw up at any second. I am doing my very best to drink lots of water so that I don't get dehydrated, though. I do not want to have to get IVs to give me fluid. Mark's family (Mom, Dad, brother, and granddad) are all coming to visit for a week on Saturday. I really don't want to be feeling bad the whole time they are here. That's no fun for anybody. I have been praying that this nasty feeling will just go away. I hate to include this journal entry since it is so negative, but I just feel terrible! Everybody says, "oh, you'll feel better in the second trimester." Well, that is still 7 weeks away! How am I going to manage? I have the hardest time getting motivated to do anything for school. I wait until the last minute and then do only what I have to do. That's not like me at all. I think I have been eating way too much trying to get my stomach to calm down. My jeans are really tight on me now and I feel like my belly is huge! This is my first child, so I don't think I could be showing already. I think I am just getting some more fat, which I am not happy about. OK. I think that is enough complaining by me for today! I am still very happy that I will finally have a baby in Febuary, though!
I ended up going to the doctor today because I couldn't keep anything down. Everything I ate, I just threw up. That was not fun. They tested my urine to make sure I was not dehydrated. They gave me a shot in my hip (that hurt!) that is supposed to calm down the nausea for about a week. The doctor also wrote me a new prescription to take when I have times like today where I can't keep anything down. I was finally able to eat some soup and crackers this afternoon and I didn't throw it up. I took one of the pills and went to bed because it knocks me out more than the other prescription did. Mark got home at about 6:30 and told me he would wake me up for supper after a while. He made some chicken fingers and french fries and I was able to eat them and so far, I haven't thrown up. I do still feel nauseated, but I guess I'm just going to have to get used to that feeling. It's an awful way to feel, but it's better than throwing up all day. I think that I am going to go back to bed in a few minutes. I'm still feeling weird from the pill. I gained 3 pounds in the last couple of weeks. I was afraid of that. The doctor told me to be really careful and watch my weight. I guess if I keep feeling this bad, I won't have to worry about that!
Well, today is Mark's 28th birthday and tomorrow is our 5th anniversary. I spent the last two days in the hospital, but I am home now. I couldn't stop throwing up, and I got dehydrated, so I was admitted to the hospital to get IV fluids and medicines to help me feel better. It was slow going at first. I wasn't allowed to eat any solids yesterday. I ate a little for each meal today and didn't throw it up, so they let me come home. I am so glad to be back. Mark's family is still here visiting. I hated to be sick while they are here, but I couldn't help it. I am still feeling quesy, but nothing too major. I am not throwing up, so that's the main thing. I feel a lot better than I did the day I went in to the hospital. They gave me medicine that I can take when I start to feel sick, so hopefully that will do the trick. I'm so glad to be home. I didn't want to get out of the shower- it felt so good to be clean again. My granddad (my dad's dad) is in the hospital in New Mexico and my brother left a few days ago to go a city near Baghdad (he's in the Air Force)so my parents have had a lot to worry about lately. Luckily they don't have to worry about me and the baby anymore. (Although I am sure they are always concerned).
Subject: Will this morning sickness ever end?
I am so tired of being sick! I HATE throwing up, and I do it a lot! Yesterday was a GREAT day. I didn't throw up once and I actually felt pretty good. This morning I threw up again. Luckily, it was just once today, but I haven't felt as good today as I did yesterday. Just when I think it might be over, it starts up again. I just can't figure it out. I am so happy to be having this baby. I just wish I didn't have to be so sick. Whatever it takes, though. I feel more and more attached to this baby every day. Even on the bad days when I can't keep any food in me, I know it is all going to be worth it in February when we get to see our precious little angel. I have an appointment on Friday and we will hopefully get to hear the heartbeat. I will be so happy if that is the case. Mark has been out of town for 5 days and I have 5 days left before he comes home. I miss him so much! I can't wait for him to get back. He is the best husband anybody could ever ask for. I feel lonely without him. I hope Friday gets here FAST!
We got to hear our baby's heartbeat the other day! It was so wonderful. It was beating away at 160 beats per minute. I just loved hearing that sound. It made it all seem so much more real. I cannot wait until I can feel the baby move around. That will be even more amazing! I think I am starting to feel a little better. I am hoping that since I am past the 12 week point, I will finally start to get rid of the nausea. I am still taking 2 pills 3 times a day each. I have finally been able to eat a little more the past couple of days. The last time I went to the doctor my urine looked clear of keytones, so at least I wasn't dehydrated. They said there was a little sugar in there, but they weren't concerned about that. I guess they will just keep a watch on that. I got to make my next appointment for 4 weeks. I am so used to going every week or two, that it is going to seem like forever before I go again. I only have this week and next week left of babysitting and then I will get to stay home again. I am really looking forward to that! I can't wait until I can sleep in until 8:00 every morning!