I wasn't expecting this one either, honestly. We'd done everything we thought could be done, using the Nuvaring for our method of birth control, as well as strategically placed condom use, you know, just in case. Appearantly the "strategy" was off, and the nuvaring failed me, because here I am, with 6 weeks worth of baby inside of me right now, a very surprised (but happy) boyfriend and the constant thought in my head "oh lord, we're screwed".
I can't say much is different about this situation that was different from the last except that my partner is supportive, active and thrilled. We love each other, which is a lot I think. I do have a great job, starting on the 10th of July which is a start and I should be getting my own place soon as well. Currently I'm living off the kindness of others (read:living with the boyfriend's family until mom finds out then living in a shelter) but I'll get there I think. I know I can get back to where I was. This time, I have someone else to think about.
I have to admit my first thought when I suspected I might be pregnant was "ooh, I wonder if he'd be willing to let me give this one up too." Whenever anyone asks me about my experience with adoption it is nothing but positive answers. Every moment was amazing. I won't say I didn't have a few moments where I felt like a piece of me was miles away, but I can't tell you if that's because of Teresa being gone from me, or Matthew. I miss them both equally. Once I brought it up with M (the boyfriend) he gave me an unequivocal no on the adoption. That was when I was concerned about bringing it up to T. I wondered if she was going to get hopeful that my being pregnant again would mean another baby, then be hurt when I told her I was keeping it. Obviously as much as I thought I knew the woman I don't. She was ecstatic for me and is hoping right along with me for a girl.
I'm very unsure as to the kind of emotional rollercoaster I'm about to embark on, I have moments where I'm terriffied and where I'm excited. Right now I'm scared of losing this one, we've had some spotting and cramps. I'm sure it will work out accordingly, it always does.
As for my adoption, I've journalled that as well. The link to mine is http://www.pregnancy.org/phpBB2/viewforum.php?f=595and my personal favorite is T's
http://www.pregnancy.org/phpBB2/viewforum.php?f=596with one or two pictures of the Matthew