From Prospective to Reality!

well Jade my love here we are, just about 34 weeks and mommy is miserable! you are getting so big and it's quite obvious that you are getting crowded. you can now kick my stomach (which i really don't enjoy, being sick is no fun) and my ribs, and you've figured out how to pinch and grab and like to do both to my lower abs and cervix! heads up darling, you are not allowed to claw your way out! but all said and done, you are doing really well, the doc and the perinatal team often comment that they could have written the textbooks with you! which of course makes me very happy because it means that something is going right! still have morning sickness, and if i eat too much midnight sickness too. getting really tired again and dizzy spells but the doc says that's just because of your development stage vs my eating habits (ie. due to nausea i have a habit of not eating or eating very little) we are both gaining weight as per ideal guidelines at this stage but... well mommy started out at 91.7kg, gained some, then got sick and lost a bunch and now, 92.5kg as of yest, so doc figures that you are just draining me and that's why i feel so ookie. been getting braxton hicks lately that i can actually tell without feeling with my hand, much like pms uterine cramping is aggravating bowels and making some rather uncomfortable moments. but at this point it's not painful just uncomfortable so it's all good. moods are a little erratic but mild, mostly just trying to wrap my head around the fact that you will be here soon and how much things are going to change in my life. daddy is still being awesome as usual and the bigger you get the more he insists that i take it easy and don't do anything! he cheered you on when i told him that you kicked me for doing dishes the other day! the big box is on it's way from aunty fuchsia with a bunch of stuff for you in it and we can't wait to go through it!!! and aunty anna is hosting a baby shower on sunday for us, with some potluck munchies and good friends and apparently a few gifts! daddy's income tax is all in now so just need to get the appts made and grab the rrsp thingy and we can make sure that we get the stroller and bassinet for you and then we will be all set! baby land in the living room is well under way and all the items in the house right now are clean and ready for you (you have a lot of clothes little one!) i definitely want you to stay put for a while longer yet (36 weeks is the start limit for the good hospital so don't go anywhere yet!) there are times during the day where i day dream about what it would be like if you came out now, but it's mostly because i'm uncomfortable and cranky, you really do need to stay put. anyway, that's about where things are standing right now, you are doing great, i am hanging in there and daddy is fantastic, everyone is excited to meet you! love you always, mom!

wow so it's been a few days huh little one! well here goes and i will try to remember all the things i wanted to tell you about, it's been a little bit of a roller coaster (but a good one). you are still looking really good across the board as of last appts, u/s was so cute, we got the 3d one last time so we got to see you stretch out and yawn and somehow you had managed to get your foot in front of your face! we here
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this solidified it for daddy that you are his and here and OMG what have we done we're going to be parents!!! all said with the special cocky smile that daddy gets just for you! as for me, well i'm hanging in there, all med stuff is still looking great, starting next week see the ob every week. still have morning sickness, heartburn is annoying but getting more every other night instead of all the time, zantac is a life saver! but i am good i only take one and only when i need it, i haven't been doing preventative because it's a little pricey. still no constipation or hemorrhoids or bladder control issues (yet!) so i'm pretty happy about that, kegels are our friend start young and do them often, mommy has been doing them since i was sixteen and i am very thankful! sleep issues are getting worse, some nights i'm up all night tossing and turning, other nights i'm out cold and stay that way all day. par for the course though, we shall prevail! you are starting to get lower, i can feel you right down in the pelvis whereas you have been pretty high up until now. your movement has decreased dramatically as you run out of room but the movement you do show off is sharp and intentional! i won't be surprised if you come out with a red bum! i keep telling you if you stick it out i'll have to smack it! and of course you keep sticking it out! i swear i saw crack the other day! daddy finally got to see one of your push ups, it feels like you get up on all fours and push your back out the side of my tummy and fall over when you want to roll around! it's pretty cute but a little uncomfortable! went shopping with grandad yest. he too is getting excited to see you, big surprise! we went to some consignment shops and got you bedding and hair accessories and got mommy a deluxe stroller caddy to put stuff in (the one we are getting doesn't have one) had lots of fun. called aunty michelle and she said she isn't using the crib now so we have a crib and mattress for you, it's the one that grandad bought for Maliki the other year and Maddex doesn't like it either since he too was co-slept for so long. either way you are set now!! and aunty anna called and is going to get the diaper genie so the cats won't get into anything and you won't stink daddy out of the house! well, at least not from the garbage any way! i am sitting here with 34 days to go if you go to term but everyone (including me) isn't so sure you will. unless of course you decide to do it out of spite! cheeky little monkey that you are! had the baby shower last weekend, it was great, good food, great friends and some really nice stuff, you have designer outfits from calvin klein and dolce and gababna shoes!! mommy has never even had that stuff! well sweety i think that's you telling me to get off now, so i will write more later! love always, mom!

35 wk 6 days
well little one it is official that you have attitude!! the other day you were a little quiet for my liking so i woke you up, what did you do? rolled over, kicked me and then went back to sleep! the today, we had the last perinatal u/s to make sure things are good and you had the tech laughing twice! first you were squirming because i had a cramp (more on that to come) and i told you to behave and you shook your head like you were saying 'no'! but you did behave after that! then when they needed to see you practice breathing we had to wait a min, and when you did start you just kept going and the tech laughed that you were just showing off! i'm so proud of you and how well you are growing and progressing. estimated weight is 5#15oz which is textbook for this week! everything looks great and has been the whole time. had an ob appt yest and again everything is perfect. cx 75% -3 stn and closed were the docs notes on our progress, which is good! cervix is low and soft and your head is right down there! had the GBS test, will know about that by next appt unless there is a problem. get to skip a week since the ob will be at a conference next week (yay just one appt all next week and it's the chiro!) so i get some down time next week. after the mutlitude of appts this week it's a good thing! we go for income tax tom and chiro appts (daddy is starting to take me everywhere since no one wants me out and about by myself, just in case). as for those cramps... started with peeing every half hour friday night (it's now wed) and sat the cramps started, whole belly just goes solid rock hard and front of my pelvis and my tailbone hurt. they were random and have continued every since. had a couple of full blown pms style cramps but after a good bowel movement those have stopped. the more i move around and the more i walk the more cramps i get and the harder they seem to get. was taking it easy, but after the two appts and the fact that we can go to the good hospital tom i am lifting the ban on stuff! all the specialists seem to be in agreement that you are great and we are ready for you whenever you are ready to come out, still should stay in a few more weeks but no worries if you need out now. i am well aware of how cramped you are getting in there and how unhappy you are with the lack of space and the cramping, you make sure i know whenever it happens! ps, those ribs are not your personal leg lift machines! daddy and i are soo excited to see you and are now just counting down the days till your arrival. crib is on the way, stroller will be purchased within the next week and everything else is ready for you. you have so many clothes that i think i could get away with never doing laundry and you would have clean clothes for the next 6-12 months!!! remember thank you to aunty fuchsia and others for their generous contributions to this! love you lots and lots, mom!

36 weeks 5 days
well i still have some hair left, not sure how much longer that's going to last though! i know that you should stay in longer but at the same time both the doc and the perinatal doc said you were good to go and mommy is going insane. i almost wish that i had put on weight if for no other reason than to give you something other than me to eat. it literally feels like you are draining my empty somedays. i love you with all my heart though and i am not doing anything proactive to get you out! having some fun with daddy, but that's as much for me as anything else! i have made a deal with myself that i won't do anything until at least 38 weeks, and at that only because i know the dates are accurate, between charting and lots and lots of u/s all agreeing. some days i get so frustrated i just want to crawl into a corner and cry, usually i just go for a nap. i am bloated and uncomfortable and have gained a whopping two pounds with you so it seems like my whole stomach is all you, and i do mean all you! your movement is getting almost painful since you have no room left and a rather boney butt! even daddy can see how miserable i am and started to tell you yest that you don't have to wait for him anymore, you can come out now if you want! he's been holding fast to the april 2 date for ever now! still getting really crampy and they are starting to feel more and more pms-y but not quite full contraction yet, i don't think, the odd one or two but mostly i think it's bowels. cm seems to have dried up, which is odd since it's been really prominent the whole time until now. finally starting to deal with some constipation, which again is annoying as it hasn't been a problem until now. sleep is totally out the window for any schedule, and you still don't seem to be on any schedule so it's not helping when i'm up and then when i try to go to sleep you wake up and we play this little game all night long! oh well, practice makes perfect i guess! still haven't had any problem with peeing, going lots and able to hold it (no accidents!) not looking forward to an appt on wed with the endocrinologist, it's a half hour bus ride each way, usually wait for up to 45 min just to get in and then it's like ten minutes and i'm out, wait for the bus and half hour home. plus this time daddy is coming with and he hates waiting for appts! he's worse than a kid sometimes, especially if we forget the gameboy! so seeing as how that's tom, if you wanted to come out, oh, say, now that would be good! we are buying the crib from aunty michelle so that we don't have to give it back, it still doesn't sit right with me but then i think it's a lot of hormones, its the crib granddad bought for her first son, neither of the boys liked it (they were co-slept and didn't want to transition to the crib after) and she's selling it to me when she didn't pay for it. but she did buy the mattress so it's new and i can see helping her out, there are always little things and i plan on selling stuff that was given to me, i think it's more the fact that my dad bought it and she said on two occasions that i could use it and now she wants to sell it. okay rant over, it's a great crib (still haven't seen it but granddad says its great) and it'll be all yours and it turns into a toddler bed so it's your for as long as you want it (even turns into headboard and footboard!) and $100 is still cheaper than even the consignment shops want and those don't come with mattress. don't remember if i mentioned it but the stroller that mommy wants is on the way, bought and paid for, should be here on march 30. we do have a lighter car seat for you if you come before the new one gets here so no worries. i'm so excited and daddy can't wait to play with it, we played a bit at the store but its not the same as having it in your living room! and i got the blue one!!!! well that about life right now, got the new computer, the old still works so you will have something to learn on. mommy loves you very much, and i am trying to be patient! love always, mom!

mommy is not amused little one. so last appt we were at 75% and -3 with no dilation, that was fine only 35 weeks and change... this week, 50% and -3 still no dilation, and that's after 7 hours of false labour yest. i am not impressed! but i do love you and can't help but think that you are just taking after your momma, always keep 'em guessing and be stubborn! oh well, you're coming out one way or another so go ahead and drive me nuts, you'll be the one that has to look at a bald mommy! just kidding! other than that the appt went well, doc said you are doing great and can come out any time you want and she'd be fine with that, daddy and twylight are anxious to see you too and both keep on talking to you and telling you to come out and play with us. so do i! you now have your very first piece of furniture that's all yours! yes you will get my grandma's dresser and hope chest but this is just for you. aunty anna had a really nice tv cabinet and she didn't need it anymore, it was her mom's, so we got it for you. for right now, mommy is going to install a rod in it and use it as an armoire for your clothes so daddy and i can have our closet back, also it will hold all of your shoes (of which there are a great, great many already!) and extra sheets for the crib. as you get older it will be up to you if you want to keep it like that or use it as a tv cabinet or whatever your sweet imagination can dream up. when it's all finished i will add a pic here, right now granddad is cutting and staining the rod (mommy currently has neither the tools nor the space to do this so granddad said he would do it for us!) and he will drop it off when he comes back with the other side of the crib that got forgotten in storage (oops!). as for the crib, well it seems that it was on a recall list and there was a repair kit that is available for it, that has been ordered and should be here soon, in the meantime, it has been looked over very carefully and is safe for you for the time being since you are not here, and when you do get here it will be a while before you can roll around. lots and lots of love my sweet girl! love always, mom!

okay mommy needs to rant a little, this is nothing personal and i love you deeply i just need to say things so that i can process them easier. GET OUT, GET OUT NOW! okay so i realize that we are only 37 weeks and 5 days and that you should/can stay in longer, but seriously mommy has had it. the constant ache the cramps the contractions, the bathroom trips, the day after day of it seeming so close and still nothing happening, the inability to do simple things like dishes (i can't reach at this point without an odd angle), the mood swings, the bowel issues, sometimes i'm bunged up and then it's free flow after that and it's painful, you are getting too strong and well let's be honest, You're hurting mommy. the butt rolls that feel like you are going to split my stomach in two, the solar plex is not a button for you to play with and i don't care if they make a cool noise when the skeletons use their ribs for xylophone, it hurts mommy when you twang them with your feet or push constantly on them. last night was a rough night for, i guess i was frustrated after the ob appt and all of a sudden i started crying, wailing and bawling violently like when a child breaks a bone, poor daddy, i think i scared him a little with how aggressive it was, i ended up giving myself a nose bleed and throwing up (proof of how well daddy knows me, he handed me the bucket 'just in case' seconds before it happened!) when all was said and done the stress started full on pms contractions most of the night, totally random but enough to wake me, and i kept throwing up all night which woke me, and well, since pregnancy has made me so ill feeling that i haven't really been able to eat and i keep throwing up, mommy hasn't gained weight little one, 2-3 lbs is not sufficient increase to support a full term pregnancy comfortably (lol okay as comfy as a full term can be) i know that i was over weight to start with and had the weight to loose, but in the meantime what this means is that you are draining me dry, literally, all the good stuff that should be keeping me going is going straight to you, no granted you are doing great and i'm very thankful for that, i'm glad that i am able to get you what you need, however, it means that i don't have the energy i need to keep this up much longer without having a catastrophic meltdown of epic proportions! and i know that daddy is right there with me, he sees what i'm going through and is very good at empathy so i know that he feels my frustration. he is also frustrated that he can't do more for me to help this along and i think that he is feeling that typical daddy response of watching from the sidelines praying to get called into the game, which won't happen until you're here, and he just wants to hold you and look at you and be able to do parent things for you too, and right now it's all me. plus the constant not knowing, he sees the contractions and the pain and he can't shake the feeling of 'any day now' just like the rest of us, so he's constantly on edge waiting for that message 'hunny it's time' yest he told me that his big regret right now is that he can't cry too (he's just not there yet and lacks the hormones that make it so easy for me at this point!) but just knowing that he feels like he wants to makes me feel both better and worse, better that i'm not alone in this and worse that there's nothing i can do to console him, and better again because it gives me that little bit more insight into just how he's feeling watching me. long story short GET OUT, GET OUT NOW! even the doc said that your stats are all showing 'full term baby' and you can come out now (you are still only 37wk and 5 days but you are more than healthy enough to come out she says!) she can see just how much strain you are putting on my muscles and even apologized when she did the exam yest because she knew that it hurt, there just isn't any room to play with to feel around for you, but she had to.
okay positives to end this off with, the more contractions i have now the more practice my muscles are getting before the big day and hopefully the smoother it will go. the longer you are in the healthier you will be when you come out. if you stay in past the 30th of march the good stroller will be here. i still have no stretch marks. i still have not pee'd myself. the morning sickness seems to be settling out a bit. i am going to be one hot momma when you do come out because of all the weight that's been lost. the longer you stay the closer we will be to warm weather (it snowed yest). until you come out i am not expected to do anything, housework or otherwise except sleep and grow you!
love always and forever, mom!

12 days to go till EDD
and daddy is starting to loose it too! i think he is officially where i was the other day with frustration and anxiety and just wound so tight waiting for that moment when we know it's time! every little moan or groan or cramp and he is looking at me wondering what i'm going to say next! kind of makes me feel a little better about my own issues as i know that i am not alone in this, but at the same time i feel really bad for him, i get to stay home and sleep and deal with this. daddy has to go to work and try to deal with all the stuff there as well as dealing with all this. he is done too, the look on his face when he holds you through my tummy, sometimes i think he wishes he were emotional enough to cry right now if for no other reason than the release, he holds you with a tenderness that is usually reserved for me but it's all directed at you and i couldn't be happier about it! (i still get my hugs so it's a sharing thing not a redirecting thing!) for a man that said he didn't want kids when we first met over 5 years ago, it's so heartwarming to see him now, pacing and jumpy waiting for you, his daughter, to be here so he can hold you and talk with you and just love you!
as for me... well if i could go in there and drag you out i would! j/k, sort of! the aches and pains are constant and i am just trying to get through one day at a time. lots of rest, water and eating what i can when i can. i know that you still have some time left on the clock but you had us all thinking you were coming early, that is until it snowed. i think daddy might be right, you caught wind of that weather and decided that mommy is more cozy! well darling, it's warmed up again, the snow is almost all melted already and we are more than ready for you. the recall kit came for the crib, the stroller is in now instead of tues. and that was all that i was waiting for, everything else is primed and waiting for you to get here!
waiting as patiently as i can! love always, mom!

good morning little one! not much to report today, just thought i'd say hi. took castor oil again yest to help with some blockage (ground beef seems to be what's doing it to me) found that mixing it with orange juice and grenadine seems to do the trick for taste and texture. must remember next time not to sit and relax quite so much on the toilet, i gave myself a hemorrhoid from sitting peacefully on the potty for like 20 min! prep h ointment works wonders though, topped off with an ice pack under my tush for 15 min! ah the joys of being preg, at least i made it this long before i got a full blown one, i have the utmost respect for woman that get them throughout the whole pregnancy. upscale, my body does know how to do a really good contraction, had some bigger ones yest than any others so far, start at the kidneys and just radiate all the way around enough that i had to breathe through a couple of them this time! now if you would just quit being so stubborn! the weather is nice again, had a high of 14 and almost all the snow is melted, so there is no reason not to come out and play with us! you have a whole bunch of ppl here that are very excited and anxious to meet you! i think it's one of the few reasons daddy is not complaining about going to work right now, although he thinks about you constantly (i know cause i get calls from time to time!) at least he has stuff to keep him distracted! hoping to get out today to pick up the stroller, plans fell through yest, and a new crib mattress and an ocean wonders thingy for your crib for you to look at and it plays music and stuff, i hope you'll like it. still waiting on the other side of the crib from the family, but it's still in storage and the one with the key is out of town again, granddad has promised to get on it before you get here. the rod is done for your armoire just need granddad to bring it over (he has his hands full at home this weekend!) i did a count yest... you currently own 12 yes that's right 12 pairs of shoes! this includes sandals and a pair of water shoes! such a spoiled little diva already, and i don't think anyone would have it any other way! can't wait to meet you, love always, mom!

OMG child you are stubborn already! so today is daddy's pick for you birthday, and the latest that anyone (even the doc) figured you'd stick around, honestly for the most part it was jokes because no one figured you'd still be in there by now. then again you are our child and what else did i expect! as long as this doesn't become a habit young lady!! okay, need to backtrack a couple days. thursday (it's now easter sunday) we went to the doc, 2cm and looking good so she stripped the membranes and said that she was on call all weekend so now was a great time! went shopping and walked around trying to get things going. no luck. by 2 am friday morning the mucus plug started to come out, took about two hours total before it stopped and it was gross to say the least. * TMI* when/if you get preg, invest in wet wipes that flush for this if nothing else, snotty nose from crying after a bloody nose is about what it looks like and it wasn't a one wipe deal.* so we think yay things are moving! daddy is grossed out but hopeful and we start walking more. nothing. yest. same deal with nothing. had some minor cramps/contractions starting friday but nothing close enough to count for anything. then yest afternoon the neighbours ticked mom off big time, i was shaking and ended up calling the cops, if you live in an apartment above me and your music and company is loud enough to shake my floor not just my walls, then it's too dang loud, i don't care what time of day it is, add to that the cursing and swearing and yelling and throwing things off the deck, unacceptable. so, daddy and i went for a walk to stop the shakes, try to induce and just not be here when the cops came knocking on their door! fairly quickly after we left i started having contractions, didn't think much of it till daddy started timing them, 5 min apart! still walking and talking through them no prob, breathing for the practice mostly. went home, pee'd, grabbed something to snack on and the stop watch and kept going. 45-60 sec, every 5 min and the length wasn't accurate since i wasn't catching the beginning of them right away (mommy was in denial!) we walked for like two hours, which was nice since i had rested most of the day, except to do dishes and vacuum earlier (then had a nap) got home and they continued through sitting and were stronger, was having to breathe through at least every other one. daddy insisted on going in to the hospital, so i called granddad to see what he thought (i still didn't think it was time!) and he said lets go and see what they say. nurses checked me out, yes i was having contractions about every 5 min (that monitor is neat to watch and got to listen to your heartbeat for like 25 min! you did not really like the monitor but were more annoyed with the contractions!) still at 2cm, go home, get some rest and hopefully we will see you tom! and that brings us to now, still having mild contractions but sleep seems to have tamed them a bit. daddy is really tired and had to go to work (promised he'll listen to me next time!) and i am just watching to see if these ones will continue to strengthen, they have gotten more consistent and stronger since i woke up but they are still about 30 sec each so still just early labour (we hope) can't wait to see you sweet heart, you can hurry up now! love always, mom!

:bonkself: you are trying to drive me insane, that's it isn't it! so sat. was another false labour (please do not wait till next sat for the real thing, just come out already!) daddy is on the verge of a nervous break down! mommy is puttering around in a fog of disillusionment, and you are just bonking around in there like it's no big deal! you started dancing again yest, well more like just clunking in random spots, and nothing is happening again. i really wouldn't mind so much as you are not scheduled to be here for a few more days, but this constant teasing is driving me insane at high speed! crossing fingers that you make up your mind soon, i REALLY do not want to get induced, something about it just doesn't feel right, but i fear that if you don't get things moving soon the doc will recommend it on wed when we have our next appt. nipples are leaking on command again and it's a beautiful gold colour just like it's supposed to be. the right breast has finally caught up size wise (it was slacking behind for a while there) and everything is here and waiting for you. not enjoying the dizzy spells that started last night around 2 am and woke me up, don't think that's ever happened to me before, i am watching it though as i know it can be a problem if it persists. even tried pineapple yest since it seemed to be what i wanted, for the first time in my life i think! nothing. anyway, i know that one way or another i will see you soon! love you lots, mom!