From Prospective to Reality!
+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 7 12345 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 63

Thread: From Prospective to Reality!

  1. #1
    Posting Addict natesangel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Edmonton, AB, Canada
    Posts
    5,097

    Default From Prospective to Reality!

    well here it is july 30 2009 and we got that elusive positive this a.m.! i am starting this now so that i don't forget later but will do a full update tom as i should have blood beta results then!!! love you already and can't wait to see you!
    Mara, 31; DH (Nathan), 30
    Jade - Born April 9 2010
    Furbabies: Squirt and Twylight




  2. #2
    Posting Addict natesangel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Edmonton, AB, Canada
    Posts
    5,097

    Default July 31 09

    as promised here i am for an official post in the new journal! lots and lots of support and love from all around! i told you that there was love a plenty for you! so yest i got up and sort of slept walked to the bathroom and before i knew what i was doing i was taking the last preg test left, a clear blue easy digital. i did the cup method and by the time i put it down, stood up and turned around it was already 'pregnant'!! i had all these grand plans about how i was going to tell daddy but all i could do was stand there and scream "OMG OMG OMG"!! he came running down the hall to see what was wrong and i just pointed and shook! he grinned so big that i thought his face would split and just said 'good morning mommy!' and gave me a big hug! a multitude of phone calls ensued including the docs office. they called back and had hcg beta and progesterone lab work sent to the local walk-in lab. i should hear back later today what the scoop is and then we go from there!
    so far: i am getting really bloated, between you and the metformin (which doc wants me on but monitored till about 13 wks) you have proven to be a pain in the butt from day one!! no big surprise!! have diarrhea, gas, sore boobs, head ache, major fatigue, nausea is starting already but so far really mild and manageable! started your baby binder this a.m. it has patterns of things that i like (and may make for you) and the ttc journal entries printed from online for you to enjoy later (14 cycles we waited so it's a little long!!) this way you will always have a first hand account of all the trials and tribulations we went through to get you here! i will do the same thing with this journal once you actually arrive! i will be getting some insert sheets so that i can make you a totally customized and inclusive baby book for you to keep (i miss not having one of me, my parents got a little distracted!!) daddy and i couldn't be happier and the terms 'mommy' and 'daddy' are floating around the house almost constantly while we let it sink in! so far i am still getting over the fact the we passed the tww and i have to change my mantra from 'please let me be pregnant' and 'i want my baby' to 'please stick and be healthy!' daddy on the other hand is already at the 'omg i'm going to have to be responsible, another life is depending on me, i'm going to be a parent!' but he does it with the big grin on his face so i know how happy he is. he also keeps staring at us with this kind of day-dreamy look on his face! his says 'i'm just admiring!' lol the rest of my life is going to be so different but in such a positive way, i know there will be good times and bad and that the bad can get really bad, but the good can be sooo good and the love is there all around to help us get through it all! thank you for blessing us with all that is you, we will not always be perfect, but we will always try to do our best for you, remember that you are loved and wanted! love always, mom!!!
    Mara, 31; DH (Nathan), 30
    Jade - Born April 9 2010
    Furbabies: Squirt and Twylight




  3. #3
    Posting Addict natesangel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Edmonton, AB, Canada
    Posts
    5,097

    Default August 1 09

    wow still waiting for it to sink in! so far it's all 'things to do' and the words are there but they still don't really have much meaning yet! i am trying to remember that it's okay to just float! daddy is being great about the whole thing and wants me to relax and 'don't do anything if you don't feel like it' sometimes i wonder if he's more worried about a miscarriage than i am! he was even joking at work that the next few weeks are going to be worse for him than the last... we shall see! so really just going with the flow, if i feel myself starting to stress about something i change what i'm doing, i'll do some cross stitch, go for a walk around the building or go for a nap! i think i just about have a handle on the whole midwife thing, got a bunch of numbers to call monday morning and like 32 questions for the interview (a lot will answer multiple questions in one shot it's just to make sure i don't forget something i want to know!) heard back from the lab and the beta levels for 13 dpo are 163, was confused at first but then found a site that showed that i'm good, and that there is more than likely only one of you!
    to date, bowels are not happy (constipated with diarrhea is really no fun!) my biggest worry (and this is silly and i know it!) is that if i poop and push too hard it will cause a problem! totally different things going on but how do i know, common sense that's how, it's funny the irrational things that pop into my head sometimes, but if this is the worst of it for now then i consider myself lucky and will learn to overcome!
    counting down the day/weeks, until then, love always, mom!!
    Mara, 31; DH (Nathan), 30
    Jade - Born April 9 2010
    Furbabies: Squirt and Twylight




  4. #4
    Posting Addict natesangel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Edmonton, AB, Canada
    Posts
    5,097

    Default August 3 09

    second beta is in and so far so good, progesterone levels are good and hcg is doubled at 369! going in again on wed for another test (they like to see it over 1000 before they leave me alone!) as well as the thyroid tests, cramping has almost all but stopped, mostly just bowel movement cramping now. still have diarrhea from the met but we are maintaining as we go! still tired but settling into a nice routine to deal with it. appetite is back so i am trying to watch what i'm eating as i begin to pig out for your benefit!
    as always, will KUP!
    love mom!
    Mara, 31; DH (Nathan), 30
    Jade - Born April 9 2010
    Furbabies: Squirt and Twylight




  5. #5
    Posting Addict natesangel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Edmonton, AB, Canada
    Posts
    5,097

    Default August 5 09

    ah relief! most of the bloating is gone (a little in the evening if i eat too much!) and i still want gala apples, cantaloupe, cheese and turkey (not necessarily at once!) and last night discovered that sour cream and bacon chips make good nachos!! was craving bacon so had that instead! can you tell from all the !!! that i'm happy today! moods have been a little off and on with the irritability but not as bad as i suspected, then again it's still early.
    daddy is still being a trooper, treating me like i'm 'fragile' but in a good way. he is happy and after i told him that the u/s at 7 weeks should show the heartbeat (even if we can't hear it) he now wants to go and see the little bean that is you, or as he calls you 'the little blob' (well what can i say, at this point that's what you are!) and the little heart beating! boobs are starting to grow already, having flashbacks to post surgery and how big they were! think we may have a line or two on a midwife. on the wait list for the shared care partners in spruce grove as well as waiting on a call back from westside, who are moving to spruce, so it looks like we will be relying on rides, but the only other ones in the city are in the south end and deliver at the one hospital i refuse to go to. plus the hospital in spruce is gorgeous and i believe there is a nice birth center really close so i should be able to manage the water birth with a really close transfer if needed. yay! will kup on that one, in the meantime i am anxious for the first prenatal and for a professional to talk to and to do something other than just blood work! well that's it for now, love you lots! mom!!
    Mara, 31; DH (Nathan), 30
    Jade - Born April 9 2010
    Furbabies: Squirt and Twylight




  6. #6
    Posting Addict natesangel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Edmonton, AB, Canada
    Posts
    5,097

    Default August 6 09

    new levels are in and WOOHOO! you did it little one, double times are increasing and you are officially over the 1000 mark. Wednesday's levels were 1101! so the u/s is booked for aug 20 (which happens to be daddy's day off! yay!) and i am feeling better about things, you are doing just what i wanted to see, a slow but steady rise to the occasion!
    well yest i totally 'felt' preg! mood swings, constipation, lower back ache, hungry and nauseous. the really funny part is that daddy is having a bad time! he has the runs and sore tummy and neck pains and worse nausea! i figure if he wants to have all the nasty stuff instead of me then that's just fine! let's just hope that it doesn't interfere with work!
    at this point i am really looking forward to a baby shower as it turns out everything needs to be checked for dates. didn't realize how old the car seat was. transportation law states that the dates must adhere to manufacture regulations and evenflo car seats are 6 years, ours was made in 2001 so seat and stroller are getting chucked (padding is starting to degrade on both) and we will be looking at a new one, also when i have some energy i will be checking out the dates for all the items given to us. so far we have a lot, and i would hate to have to replace all of it.
    love you lots always, mom!!
    Mara, 31; DH (Nathan), 30
    Jade - Born April 9 2010
    Furbabies: Squirt and Twylight




  7. #7
    Posting Addict natesangel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Edmonton, AB, Canada
    Posts
    5,097

    Default August 10 09

    good morning my little one! wow this has been a weird experience so far! some days i totally feel preggo and other days it's just gas and bloating and irritable bowel. daddy has most of the symptoms right now, sore back, bowels into over drive, hemorrhoids, nausea! i'm trying to enjoy it while it last (as has been suggested!) the nausea is starting to hit once in a blue moon, and the muscle cramps are very distinctly muscle stretching cramps (just a little bit but enough that when they do i notice!) i am chomping at the bit to start sorting through baby stuff and dealing with all the clothes that we have and go to stores and register, but i know that it's a little too early to be doing all that stuff! so far i have gotten new underwear!!! after 4 trips to find ones that fit i have found some that are comfy (xl briefs from hanes) and thank you to aunty fuchsia for the bra, i did find more! had to settle for 40d instead of 42 but i also picked up some extensions so that when it becomes an issue i have them on hand. after over a year i finally have a black bra again! (bought a white one and a black one so there are three that fit now!) as for maternity clothes i think i am doing pretty good, lots of pants and tops that fit (having a larger chest pays off for a change!) and i can't wait to get the baby belly so that i can where my 'touch it and the hand is mine' shirt, doesn't make sense to wear it till there is something to touch! this is all still so surreal and i can't wait to see the u/s next week, time is taking turns speeding by and crawling slower than a slug and it's still soo early! i'm trying to make sure that i walk at least a little everyday (helps with the bowels big time) and i am doing my chiropractic exercises while i can as i know the laying on my back part is going to get really uncomfortable soon enough. it looks like i have to choice of one midwifery office for what i want, so i am on a wait list and hoping they call soon as i really would like to get going with my care. granddad has agreed to drive as the office is moving outside the city, but it's going to be by the hospital that i wanted to deliver at and i think that there is a birth center near by that may be an option since it's so close to the hospital (will have to investigate later!) so far my nails are doing great and my face is alternating between wanting to be clear and pimples, my hair however is a whole other story... i can't keep up with the greasy hair, it's clean but it's sooooo greasy i almost have to wash it everyday and my hair prefers rinsing and washing only once or twice a week. will have to experiment with a few things and see what works best (thinking that the extra moisturizing shampoos are no longer necessary so will start with changing that!) your baby book is coming along, i am doing it in a binder with accordion files and zippers and stuff so i can make you something that is totally customized, it has all the ttc journey stuff in there, charts and journal, and midwife look up stuff, dates and levels, you name (jade alexandra dawn elizabeth (girl) joshua orion spencer herald (boy) so that your initials will spell your name! also, dawn is my family tradition, orion is daddy's family tradition and spencer and herald are from your granddad's side) there are also patterns for things i would like to make for you and a pic of the test that showed us you were here! as things progress i will have pic insert pages and sticky pages and anything else that i think you should see or know! i love you so much my little one and i am crossing fingers for a healthy and happy nine months with you! love always, mom!
    Mara, 31; DH (Nathan), 30
    Jade - Born April 9 2010
    Furbabies: Squirt and Twylight




  8. #8
    Posting Addict natesangel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Edmonton, AB, Canada
    Posts
    5,097

    Default Stupid stupid stupid

    stupid insulin, stupid pcos, stupid thyroid. apparently because of these issues i am classified as high risk and the midwives won't deal with me. i am so mad and hurt and upset that i am totally at a loss at this point. going to ask aunty anna to help me calm down and sort through all the crap that i have to deal with now, picking and ob and setting the hospital and just dealing in general. i hate this, for as long as i can remember i have wanted a midwife and now the best i can hope for is MAYBE a doula (not that this is a bad thing it's just not what i wanted) i anticipated things not going the way i wanted for the delivery, things happen and you have to do what's best for the baby but THIS i'm now where near that stage yet and already having problems. i am trying not to focus on all the nasty things that are happening but i can't help it. and of course for the time being i am sitting at home all by myself, and i can't even call anyone because i am waiting for a phone call from aunty anna to say she is on the way. i know daddy will be supportive but i also know that he was looking forward to working with a midwife as well. we are both new to this and have limited resources for where to turn with questions and fears and we were both looking forward to having the extra support during the pregnancy as well as at the birth and after. and on top of all that i am now scared out of my mind due to the disgusting level of care i have had from the medical community around here already. out of 5 doc 4 of them almost put me in the hospital because they either weren't paying attention to me or they were treating me like just another case file. trying to take deep breathes and focus on the good stuff. i know my body, i know what i can and can't handle, i know how to look after myself and listen to what my body is telling me it wants and i do have people who love me that i can turn to in times of need. i am pregnant and i do know something about it (book and experience being different i WILL adapt) i can do this. thanks for listening!
    Mara, 31; DH (Nathan), 30
    Jade - Born April 9 2010
    Furbabies: Squirt and Twylight




  9. #9
    Posting Addict natesangel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Edmonton, AB, Canada
    Posts
    5,097

    Default August 11 09

    still nervous and scared but feeling a little better today. have an appt with my gp, it seems that the fertility clinic where my RE is located is closed for the month and i know that i need to get cracking with the first prenatal stuff and getting some answers and things taken care of. hopefully my gp will be able to help with some of this. i have research an ob that i think might be good and she is taking referral calls tomorrow for new patients, they are not booking until oct though so we shall see what happens. since i have more options with ob's than i did with midwives i have the option to pick which hospital i would like to go to and am working from that angle to find good health care. maybe not the wisest start but it's something and i needed a jumping off point to start this portion of the journey. the hospital that i want is close (15 min max. drive) and is among the top in the province for obstetric care (they just built a whole new floor to handle the case load that they get!) daddy was great yest. he came home in a bad mood so i let him vent first and then when i told him what my day was like he went instantly into 'good guy' mode! he held me and shared my fears with me and comforted me, he reminded me that we are in this together and that he is there for whatever i need. he told me that he is scared too, so i am not alone in this, and that he is proud of me for continuing to deal with this (making calls and appt's) even though i am upset and want to shut down, and that through it all i am allowing myself to feel and face the fear and uncertainty while doing my deep breathing and focusing on the good things to try and stay calm. i balled my eyes out again, but it was with relief and not tension, so i guess he's right and i am on the right track and dealing the best way i've been taught. i have family and friends here that i can turn to, however sometimes i feel that they just don't get it because they haven't been there, so it's hard sometimes, i need that face to face someone to hold my hand once in a while and so far daddy has been terrific with that! it's funny (sort of) but sometimes i read other posts and such here and i feel so blessed to have such a caring and helpful and compassionate man when so many others have to struggle in their relationships or have no one at all. you too are blessed to be coming into such a terrific circle of love and friendship and understanding! next week is the u/s and i can't wait to get my first glimpse of you! when i told daddy that it was booked on his day off his face lit up like a christmas tree he was so happy to get to be there with me! aunty anna has agreed to help out with anything that is needed and a long as i can book around her schedule she will probably be the one to drive to most of the appt as we progress. she will probably also be there at your birth as she will most likely be the one to drive us to the hospital (with daddy's work schedule i think i will see about having her as a backup coach or something so that she can be there, i would love to have both her and daddy present as they are my strength when i can't find any!) little things are being taken care of now, talk of baby shower has been started! it's still a long way away but little things like aunty anna will be the address and phone number listed for the registry so that i can see all the stuff at once at the shower and ppl can buy whatever from where ever and she can take care of the list/doubles/returns without me having to know how much or from where (some ppl don't like the mom to know these things but i will have to deal with doubles of things, this was a good compromise!) wow these entries are really turning into small novels in and of themselves aren't they! oh well! know that i love you and will do what i have to in order to keep you safe, i am trying hard to quit smoking and am back down to about 6 a day (10 but i only smoke about half of it as daddy never really quit! he is trying again too!) slowly but surely i will get there, i just don't need the extra stress right now if trying to do it cold turkey. well that's about it for now, i will kup about the docs and stuff, love you always, mom!
    Mara, 31; DH (Nathan), 30
    Jade - Born April 9 2010
    Furbabies: Squirt and Twylight




  10. #10
    Posting Addict natesangel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Edmonton, AB, Canada
    Posts
    5,097

    Default August 12 09

    sighing a huge sigh of relief today! *sigh* got to the gp yest and he gave me lab recs for a normal check up (he has no clue really but it has all the glucose and cholesterol and stuff like that so it can't hurt!) and the 'prenatal screening initial tests' which i think are the same ones that the fertility doc had me due a few months ago rhubella and hiv and all that) but i figure what the heck it'll make me feel better and it'll be current on file. we got an ob!! it's the one that i researched and couldn't find anything overly negative about, she is close to the hospital (across the street actually!) supports natural birth whenever possible, reviews say she is knowledgeable, compassionate and understanding and willing to take that extra time whenever she can. lots of good things, also gp says he's heard of her and so far so good he thinks it's a good choice on my part! got the booking today for oct 26 don't like how far away it is but what can you do. still looking into maybe having a doula present but at this point it will depend big time on finances as i don't yet know if they are covered too or just the midwives. have a few feelers out there and am just waiting to hear back. bulge is starting to show a little now (will take pic tom for the album) but only because we know it's there otherwise i just look fat! but i do know so i really don't mind! mood swings are hilarious sometimes, i was in the waiting room yest and a country song came on that almost had me in tears (would have if i'd been any less public!)
    as i don't know how to put in music i am including the lyrics for future reference (also because it's appropriate!)
    Artist/Band: Atkins Rodney
    Lyrics for Song: Watching You
    Lyrics for Album: If You're Going Through Hell

    Drivin’ through town just my boy and me
    With a Happy Meal in his booster seat
    Knowin’ that he couldn’t have the toy ‘til his nuggets were gone.
    A green traffic light turned straight to red
    I hit my brakes and mumbled under my breath.
    His fries went a flyin’, and his orange drink covered his lap
    Well, then my four year old said a four letter word
    It started with “S” and I was concerned
    So I said, “Son, now where’d you learn to talk like that?”

    Chorus:
    He said, "I’ve been watching you, dad ain’t that cool?
    I’m your buckaroo, I wanna be like you.
    And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are.
    We got cowboy boots and camo pants
    Yeah, we’re just alike, hey, ain’t we dad?
    I want to do everything you do.
    So I’ve been watching you."

    We got back home and I went to the barn
    I bowed my head and I prayed real hard
    Said, “Lord, please help me help my stupid self.”
    Just this side of bedtime later that night
    Turnin’ on my son’s Scooby-Doo nightlight.
    He crawled out of bed and he got down on his knees.
    He closed his little eyes, folded his little hands
    Spoke to God like he was talkin’ to a friend.
    And I said, “Son, now where’d you learn to pray like that?”

    Chorus:
    He said, "I’ve been watching you, dad ain’t that cool?
    I’m your buckaroo, I want to be like you.
    And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are.
    We like fixin’ things and holding momma’s hand
    Yeah, we’re just alike, hey, ain’t we dad?
    I want to do everything you do; so I’ve been watching you"

    With tears in my eyes I wrapped him in a hug.
    Said, “My little bear is growin’ up.”
    And he said, “But when I’m big I’ll still know what to do.”

    "‘Cause I’ve been watching you, dad ain’t that cool?
    I’m your buckaroo, I want to be like you.
    And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are.
    By then I’ll be strong as superman
    We’ll be just alike, hey, won’t we dad
    When I can do everything you do.
    ‘cause I’ve been watchin’ you."
    hey yeah
    uh huh


    well things are good today, see the endocrinologist this afternoon to find out what's going on with that then rest and stuff! i think the dvd's are in at the library for my prenatal yoga and belly dancing, might get them today or tom! love always, mom!
    Mara, 31; DH (Nathan), 30
    Jade - Born April 9 2010
    Furbabies: Squirt and Twylight




+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 7 12345 ... LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
v -->

About Us | Contact Us | Privacy Policy | Sitemap | Terms & Conditions