"Heaven is your home, and it's all you'll ever know"
33 weeks even
Only 7 weeks to go! Or maybe 9.
I'm feeling better over the whole thing with LS. I asked for help on the ICAN list and got some good replies. One had several links, some to help LS and some with ideas on how to support your MW in times like this. One suggested awareness campaigns. I think that's a wonderful idea. I'm going to copy that article and pass it out to all the other mothers I know who have given birth with LS in attendance. I plan on writing a letter to the editor thanking LS publicly, not only for her excellent care, but for the sacrafices she makes for her mothers and babies and I'm going to encourage everyone else to do the same.
I'm thinking I may sign up to do a library display on midwifery. I'll have to have DH and DD#1 help me with that since they have great ideas and are very tallented in that sort of thing.
I still don't know how to go about writing the letter to the OB spreading lies. I get so angry when I think about it, I'm wondering if it would be best to just leave it alone until I can get my emotions under control. I also need to talk to LS first so that I'm sure we're not violating any HIPPA laws. I really don't think that would be the case of course, but I just want to be sure not to get her in trouble.
On the baby front-
I'm beginning to nest. I'm stressing about the house not being clean and our diaper situation. Thankfully Mama sent me some baby spending money. I tithed on it so it hasn't slipped out of my hands and it seems to be lasting very well. I bought a ton of cloth diapers that were just sitting there in the box. I couldn't bring myself to wash them or get rid of the receipts, just in case they had to be sent back. However, when the nesting kicked in, I panicked and washed everything. I only have one wash left for the 2 dozen newest prefolds. I was able to use Peter's unused dozen. It was sad pulling them out of my drawer and going through his things. I only cried a little bit. I got a little sad after putting them in the dryer too.
But, it's all done and I'm less stressed.
Now to clear out the stinking black widows! EEEEeeeekkk!!! They're INSIDE the house! They must have come in with the wood last winter. I guess since it was so warm this year, we didn't use the wood very fast and it sat there, giving them time to come out and nest. I'm not about to have the place sprayed with toxic chemicals. Widows are resistant to them anyway so it probably wouldn't do any good. But I don't want my babies around widows either! What to do??????
I guess all we can do is vaccum all the webs, hunt them and their egg sacs down and kill them whenever we see them. I hate that I'm so scared of spiders, widows especially. Even Peter had widows! I went to pick up his flowers and stuff at the cemetery last Wednesday and there was a small black widow in the hole for his vase! Aaargh! Thankfully it either left when I flipped the vase down or it fell in the water at the bottom of the hole and drowned. Either way when we went to put Peter's flowers back on Saturday, DH hunted down a little spider in the hole and smooshed it. (My hero! lol.)
I have started doing Flylady AGAIN. lol. This is my 4th attempt. (or is it my 5th?) I'm forcing my mom to do it with me so I have an accountability partner. lol. But she's not very enthusiastic about it. She does think it's funny when I read something to her from Flylady and it's like Flylady has been spying on her. lol. So maybe that will rope her in. I just know I need to get my house in shape... #1 because it's my job and for so many other reasons. I also get a little frustrated hearing about the things my mom loses over and over again and all the clutter she has. I've been telling her for years she needs Flylady but she doesn't listen. She bought the book a year or 2 ago and never read it because "it didn't interest" her. Oy! I did get her to start reading it again. She may have quit, but at least I got her to read some.
Right now there's lots of turmoil going on in my sister's family so they've been staying with my mom. It got really ugly last night so my sister left and went back home to stay in the dark with no phone and no electricity. It was a bad situation but hopefully it'll be a wake-up call for my BIL.
Anyway, maybe now my mom can get back on track with Flylady and so can I.
Oh! I forgot to say I was having lots of contractions.... Saturday night I think? DH invited me to go to the park with them while they practiced for soccer. Of course, I had no one to help me with 'Lijah so he had me supporting his weight as he went across the monkey bars several times, then he got stuck on one of the ladder/climbing thingies there. I'm guessing that's what made the contractions kick in since I didn't do much else different that day. Thanfully they went away and I haven't had them that close together since. I did get a few extra squeezes after getting stuck with 'Lijah at the park again last night while DH went to the BMX track but that wasn't nearly so bad. Most of the stuff at that park he can get on and off of by himself.
Only 4 more weeks till baby is considered full term so if I can stay away from parks till then, we should be fine, I hope. I also hope baby starts to settle down low so we don't need that intense u/s in 4 weeks either.
I guess that's it for now. My next appt with LS is on Sept 4th. That's grandpa's b-day. I'm glad he's finally Home in Heaven and no longer suffering, but I miss his sillyness sometimes.
"Heaven is your home, and it's all you'll ever know"
38 weeks even
We had a great appt on the 12th. It was our home visit. LS said the baby was very cooperative and his/her head is very low.
We also discussed our wishes for how the birth should go. DH didn't have any suggestions but I reminded him that he wanted to catch and he looked very sad when I said it. He said, "yeah, I'd like to do that if it's possible." He's still very upset over the fact that he was "robbed" of catching Peter. I think it made it worse when I told him about how the Dr was hurting me after Peter's birth. He never heard me crying out in pain. He was too focused on Peter.
LS also made sure it was okay that she wanted to ask Kristen to come to the birth. Kristen was LS's doula/helper when E.J. was born and she remembers his birth. She loved the worship music we played during his birth. I still remember there were times that she and LS were singing along with the CD. I really liked that and was helped so much when I was feeling desperate and LS read my scripture cards out loud. She was also able to calm me down at other times when I panicked by getting my attention and telling me to calm down. She did the same after Peter's birth when I was shaking uncontrollably. She reminded me that it had happened last time and that it was okay.
I think I'm going to like having Kristen here. I was a little worried because during E.J.'s birth, she was urging me to push and I didn't really like that. I ended up with a big nasty tear and I was afraid to be coached to push again, but LS said that she would tell Kristen we want a quiet, calm, serene birth this time around. She says that Kristen is a great prayer warrior. I know we need someone like that this time around.
Sometimes I feel contractions and almost a bulge down below, somewhat like my water might be about to break and I get scared and the feeling goes away. I'm afraid I'm going to delay this baby's arrival because of my fear. I don't want to do that. I want this baby to get here safely and quickly, not have a difficult birth because the baby has grown too big or because I'm having trouble relaxing my body to let the baby out because of my fear. I really need to dig into my Bible and get some reassurance.
So... now we're down to weekly appts. At my last one on Tuesday, LS said the baby has moved down even further. She was having trouble telling where the baby's head stopped and my pubic bone began. She also said the baby's head is really pressing on my bladder. I could've told her that. She's very much comforted by the fact that baby is soooo much lower than Peter was.
She didn't do a vaginal exam this time. I would've had her do one if it would've given her more reassurance but she said we'd had such a great outcome from the last one that it wasn't necessary. Oh, I forgot to say she did a vag exam at our home visit and that she could feel baby's head fairly easily. She never got to that point with Peter.
My BP has been great, no more ketones in my urine and I only gained 1 lb and I was wearing jeans too!
We'll I've gotta go, I'll try to update more later.
Last edited by sweetpetunia; 09-27-2007 at 05:39 PM.