It is time to begin a pregnancy journal. I found out that I was pregnant on June 24, when I was 4 weeks and 1 day. I thought about starting a journal on that day, but it seemed too early. Besides, that was a busy week for my little family. My son Evan turned 3 on June 28. I pretty much had to spend that week getting everything ready for his party. We survived the weekend and his party was a success. Last Monday, at 5 weeks pregnant, I took Evan to The Picture People and had our pictures made. The next day, July 1, was our wedding anniversary. Yep, just 3 days after our son's birthday. He was quite the anniversary present 3 years ago. Our little guy decided to make his debut 2 weeks early and surprise us just before our 4th wedding anniversary. Well, this year my husband got another surprise baby for his anniversary. You see, I didn't tell anyone about this pregnancy, including my husband yet. That Tuesday morning I woke up early and took yet another pregnancy test. Naturally it was positive. In fact, the result line came up before the test line. So I took the positive test, wrapped it up and set it at my husband's place setting. The first thing he said when he saw the present was, "I thought we weren't exchanging gifts this year." I told him that it wasn't a real present so it didn't really count. So the poor man opened the present, saw the positive test and said, "Oh, is this for real?" Poor man later admitted that he thought I was giving him a watch band since he needed a new one. Boy, did I surprise him. On May 26 we had just decided to TTC Baby #2. Here it was, just 5 wks. and 1 day later and we're already pregnant. We didn't talk that much about the pregnancy that week. It's not that we don't want the baby. Personally, I'm very excited and can't wait to be a mother of 2. Poor DH just isn't a huge fan of pregnancy and that whole baby period. He just sees another pregnancy as two years of hard work, no sleep, and raw emotions. He does want to have 2 children, especially 2 school age children so we have to start at the beginning. Oh, don't worry, he's relaxed quite a bit since I first shared the news with him 6 days ago. Now he just jokes about it, especially since the "morning sickness" has started. Yuck, I can't even look at that word "morning sickness" right now.
To be honest, I'm not feeling too hot right now. I'm pretty nauseous right now. I'm also exhausted and can't wait to take a nap. I'll eat something and then be hungry 2 hours later, but then after eating I feeling bloated and nauseous. Wow, I sound like a grump already. Nah, I just sound like a 6 wk pregnant woman, who is also a mother of a 3 year old who didn't get much sleep last night.
I really am thrilled to be pregnant. I was even excited when I began to experience the first waves of morning sickness this past Saturday. I knew that the pregnancy was progressing nicely and right on track. During my first pregnancy, I was so nervous and so new to pregnancy that I worried about everything and was afraid that I would never feel better.
Well, my son is watching TV and has been for the past hour. Time to make him some lunch and then naptime. I'll write more later. Hopefully I'll be feeling better then.
Quick review though, morning sickness usually begins around the 6th week. (ok, I'm there) It peaks around 10 wks (yikes, that sucks) and then it tapers off around 14 wks. (yuck, that's still 2 months away!)
I have my first OB appt. this morning at 10:00. I have been so sick for the past 3 days. I swear I don't remember feeling this bad while I was pregnant with Evan. Even thinking about food makes me nauseous. I cry at the drop of a hat. I can't drink orange juice so now I'm convinced that my baby will be born with scrurvey or some other type of issue that results in a lack of folic acid. I don't want to have a pelvic done this morning. This hot weather just makes my nausea worse. I sound like a real *****, don't I? Deep down, I'm happy. I'm glad that I'm having strong healthy pregnancy symptoms. Last night I'm sitting at the kitchen table trying to eat (gag) fish sticks and mac & cheese. I start crying and telling Evan how I wish that his father would come home from jogging. Naturally the poor child thinks I'm sad. I try to explain, through my tears that I'm really happy. DH says that I felt like this with while I was pregnant with Evan. All I remember from the early months of that pregnancy was rushing around on campus during the day, doing 4-5 hours of homework in the late afternoons and then vegging out on the couch for the rest of the evening crying while watching "Lifetime" movies. Ok, so maybe I was a bit of a mess last time. Time to shower and shave and get myself ready for the dr. appt.
Wow, who was that old grump you posted an entry last week? No way could it have been me? Well, then again, maybe it was.
The dr. appointment went really well, all 1.5 hours of it. First I met with one of the doctors. For this pregnancy I'm going to an all female practice. So far I have no complants. We spent a while in her office talking about my past pregnancy and what I have been experiencing up to that point. Naturally I *****ed about the "morning sickness" like some brat. I remember feeling sick during my pregnancy with Evan, but I didn't start feeling sick until I was well into my 7th week. And then, it wouldn't start until later in the afternoon. The doctor did admit that it was a bit early for me to be feeling so sick. With their practice they perform an ultrasound between 5 and 7 weeks, during the woman's first visit. This was a fun little surprise for me....until the doctor also said that she wanted to make sure that I wasn't having twins since my symptoms were coming on so strong and early. Before the ultrasound she did the basic pelvic check; pap smear, looked at cervix, ect. Then it was time for the ultrasound. With Evan I only had one ultrasound and that was at 21 weeks. Well, as most of you well know, the super-early ultrasounds are done internally. Ok, that didn't bother me. What did totally amuse me though was that my doctor covered the ultrasound wand with a condom before inserting it into me. Ok, I knew that she would have to cover it with something, but I just assumed that they made special plactic sleeves to cover them, like the ones they make for thermomitors. As it turns out, I have a cycst on my ovary, which is totally normal, and that my uterus tips toward my back. Also normal but kind of freaked me out a bit. Inside my uterus was my little JellyBean. Yep, just one of them. You could see a strong heartbeat and a healthy little yolk sac. Doctor said that everything looked perfect. I'm still knocking on wood though. Even though I feel really positive about this pregnancy, who never know what may happen.
After the pelvic part of the visit was over I had to have some blood drawn then I was free to go home. I walked out of the office with a big grin on my face and proudly carrying my ultrashound photo. As soon as I settled myself into the car I called DH, who was at home with Evan. He wanted to know why the appt. had taken so long so I casually said, "The doctor wanted to do an ultrasound to see if I was carrying twins since I've been so sick so early in the pregnancy." At first he didn't respond. Finally he said, "Well you're not, are you?" I had to chuckle at that. Yes, DH and I agreed to get pregnant but he's still reluctant to the idea of another baby. Later that night he admitted that he would have been pissed if I had been carrying twins. Silly man, but I can see where he's coming form though. Of course I had rather not have twins, but if we had discovered two heartbeats I still would have been excited and happy.
So my appointment was last Thursday. On Friday and Saturday I still felt sick. Then on Sunday I perked up and could eat like a normal person again. Monday and Tuesday I felt great. Sure, I still have waves of nausea but I still managed to eat pretty well and feel like a normal person. Yesterday, on Wednesday I felt pretty good until 5:30. Then "morning sickness" hit me like a ton of bricks. I vomited half way through dinner and felt like crap for the rest of the evening. My back ached and I had a throbbing headache. Feeling better today, not as well as I'd like to, but better.
I've had more cravings with this pregancy. I ate a tuna fish sandwich for lunch today. I have to limit the fruit that I eat. Oh, and this is amusing. I was taking a nap this afternoon when I woke up craving pickles. With my last pregnancy I mainly craved sweet things. This time I like sour and salty. I'm constantly hungry which is a new feeling for me. Last time I only gained 24 lbs. and I would like to gain roughly the same amount this time, but with this nausea I have to eat every couple of hours. Frusterating. I'm thrilled to be pregnant though.
Well, Evan is awake from his nap. Think I'll make some pop corn for a snack.
I am so glad to be 8 wks. pregnant. I just want this first trimester to fly by. I'm miserable. (can I start another sent. with "I")
I don't mean to sound like such a grump. Trust me, I'm not normally like this but for the past 2 weeks I have felt so sick that it's getting hard to function. I ask myself everyday, "Why did I have to be so selfish and insist on another baby?" Crazy thought, I know, especially since I'm thrilled to be pregnant and can't wait to have another child. This morning sickness is bringing me down though. I vomit 4-5 times a week. Yes, I understand that is still pretty mild/good compared to what some women go through. I'm exhauseted yet I can't sleep right now because I threw-up an hour ago and my throat is killing me. I just want this part to be over. I'm not nornally like this. I usally savor everyday and never wish for the days/months/years to fly by. I cry so easily and over everything. Just this evening Evan and I picked up dinner from Bob Evans. The sun was setting behind us as we walked back to the car. As we walked I watched our shadows that stretched out in front of us. As I'm watching I see Evan's hand reach up to hold my hand. I tear up as I watch our shadows hold hands. Yeah, it was a beautiful moment, but was it really nesseary to cry my eyes out while sitting in the parking lot and scaring my poor child in the process? I'm a mess. I just want to feel normal and happy again. Two of our neighbors know that I'm pregnant. Everyday they ask me how I'm doing. Today I replied with, "I'm not doing to well. Today is a bad day." What the hell? I never just tell people that. All I have is morning sickness. I just read "Tuesdays with Morrie" today. Yes, I just inhaled a book about a man dying a slow painful death and he is still more positve than I am. I just want to get out of this funk, but I can't until I can eat and sleep. I wake up at night hungry! I didn't even do that while pregnant with Evan. I'm hungry all of the time but eating makes me sick. Not eating makes me sicker. Eating pop-corn only to vomit is back up 2 hours later keeps me from falling to sleep. I keep reminding myself that I'm just having good healthy pregnancy symptoms. My body is just doing what it's suppose to do. Well, I wasn't this sick with Evan and I still had a perfectly healthy pregnancy and baby. I remind myself that this will only last a few more weeks. That I'll feel the baby moving soon. That there is light at the end of the tunnel. That I have my second child arriving in March. I try to stay positive.
My throat hurts. I can barely swallow. I sound like such a *****. Not the way I want to be during my pregnancy. Heck, this will probably be my last pregnancy. I want to enjoy every second of it.
I'm such a melo-dramitic mess right now. I'm acting just like some women who is 8 wks. pregnant and suffering from morning sickness. Thank god Evan is such a good child. He actually makes things easier for me. Everyday I ask him if he would like a baby to come live with us. His response is always the same, "No, no baby. I want a boy to come live with us." The child is so lonely. I mean I still take him out everyday and he plays with the neighborhood children but I know he wants a regular playmate roughly his age. Luckily he has gymnastics on Wednesdays and music class on Thursdays. He'll head back to school in just 6 weeks.
Atleast the guilt of having another child hasn't hit me yet. I'm sure that in just a few months I'll be agonizing over the fact that Evan and I won't be the perfect little duo anymore and that we'll have some infant taking up all of my time and energy.
Ok, it's late. I really do need to try to get some sleep. I'm sure that I'll be back to my old self soon enough.
I wrote an entry last night, but I just had to write another entry today. No, nothing big has happened. I just couldn't stand knowing that I complained so much last night so I decided to write a quick entry while I'm feeling pretty good. It's 11:30 and I've already eaten twice. I'm going to force myself to eat a little food every couple of hours and see if that helps my nausea. Evan and I went to the grocery store this morning. While I was unloading the food Evan said that he wanted to take a little rest upstairs. No big deal, we usually play "little rest" in bed. It's just a silly game where we pretend to sleep then wake each other up. He wanted me to take a rest with him but I told him that I wanted to eat a sandwich first. While I'm eating my food I can hear him talking to himself upstairs. After 5 minutes though he's quiet. I figure he's looking at his books. When I finish eating my food I go upstairs to check on him. He's not in his room though. I find him asleep in my bed....wearing underwear! Ok, Evan is daytrained but he has never slept in underwear before. I just can't believe that he fell asleep. It's only 11:30! Naptime isn't until 1-1:30. Oh well, I'm just going to let him sleep then change the sheets when he wakes up. My MIL is coming over around 3:00 to go swimming. Because of that I would have had to wake Evan up from his nap early so atleast he'll get a good nap in today.
Get this, my MIL doesn't know that I'm pregnant. Crazy, but I just don't want to tell her until I tell my mother and I'm not going to tell my mother until her birthday, August 23. I was going to try and avoid my MIL until then, but she was insistant on going swimming today. I'm not showing yet and hopefully I won't get sick while she's here. I'm sure I can manage a 2-3 hour visit with her and continue to keep my pregnancy a secret.
I should take a nap too. I didn't get much sleep last night and was planning on taking a nap today anyway. I still can't believe that Evan is sound asleep at 11:45!
Feeling strong today. I hope this feeling will last. Swimming went well with my MIL. She still has no idea that I'm pregnant. Poor woman was asking me if we were going to have another child. That's something new. She has never asked DH and I about children before. My mom on the other hand has been talking about grandchildren since I was a child! Naturally she became a real nag about it once I got married. Personally I can't stand it when people ask me about our "family" situation. What business is it of theirs? For all they know it could be a very difficult subject for us. While I was in TN my mother managed to bring up the Baby #2 conversation on a daily basis, trying to be subtle of course. Still pissed me off though. By the end of the week I think I actually had the woman convinced that we weren't going to have any more children. Ha, little did she know that we were actively trying that month. Heck, I was pregnant while I was down there. My mother drove me crazy while I was pregnant with Evan. She called nearly everyday, bought me (ugly) maturnity clothes and picked out and bought a nursery theme without consulting me about it first. Oh, and she would always have a list of possible baby names. A bit of history, I'm not close to my family so for nearly 10 years before I became pregnant, my mother and I would only talk on the phone once a month. Plus she never bought me anything. Then suddenly I existed once I became pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I appreciated everything and she is a wonderful "Nana" but I'm just not ready to be showered with attenion again just because I'm pregnant with her second grandchild, especially when I'm feeling so yuck and (knock on wood) it is still early in the pregnancy. Heck, she does love Evan more than anything. (she admitted early on that she likes being a grandmother better than being a mother) And I'm not really that picky about nursery themes and clothes so if it makes her happy to do this stuff for her grandchildren I'll just lay low. In return, I'd like to keep the pregnancy a secret until August 23. Then she'll get the best surprise of all on her birthday.
I'm rambleing, not even talking about the pregnancy. Wonder how I'll be as a grandmother. I don't think I'll be as overbearing as my own mother.
Ok, I am so ready to be over this "morning sickness." I don't even feel pregnant, I just feel sick...all of the time. I feel like such a wimp for complaining all of the time. I've become a total grump. And all I have is that nasty nausea. No super hormonal crying fits, no super cravings, and no sore BBs. Just nausea. Every two days I have several hours where I feel normal and I begin to get my hopes up. Oh, actually, I am having mild cramping and lower back pain. I just want to be round and happy. Right now, DH and DS are eating dinner: fish sticks, rice, carrots and peas. Am I eating? Nope. I would vomit. Heck, just the smell wants me to vomit. But..at the same time, as long as I'm sick and nauseous the pregnancy is going well, right? I am thankful for the nausea when I remember that all of this is good for the baby. I'm just ready to "feel" pregnant, to look pregnant and for this hot summer to pass. I spent years training myself to be an optimist. Then wham bam, I'm a grump again. Ok, I'll be 9 weeks tomorrow, that's good. Pregnancy is moving along. I have my next appointment in two wks. and one day. Think I'll be able to hear the heartbeat? I certainly hope so. Oh, speaking of doctors, this Tuesday Evan and I have an appointment to have our teeth cleaned. Think I'll cancel my appointment. I can't even brush my teeth without gagging, I seriously doubt that I can make it through an intrusive cleaning without vomiting on our dentist. Ok, time to sign off.
Ok, I guess that I should update. Let's see, what's new to report? I have vomited atleast once a day for the past week. This wouldn't be so distrubing to me if I hadn't had such mild morning sickness with my son. But from what I understand this is the peak of "morning sickness." It should start subsiding in the next week or two. Overall I feel ok. A bit grumpy most days. I'm at that point where I don't feel pregnant. Instead I just feel sick for the most part of the day. Oh wait, I did have a healthy burst of energy this past Wednesday. I even called up a friend of mine and made plans for dinner and a movie Thursday night. Well, I did manage to go out last night. I had fun, dinner was ok and the movie was great. Got home around 1 am. I was hungry so I ate, only to vomit an hour later. Well, atleast I've pretty much accepted morning sickness as a part of my life. It will pass, just take it day by day. Still not showing but I have a feeling I'm going to "pop" in the next few weeks. I have a doctors appt. next Thursday. Naturally I'm looking forward to that. I'm glad July is over. It's nice to know that both summer and the first trimester will be over in just a month. I love the fall so I'm thrilled that I'll be in the magically second trimester during that time. We haven't done much this summer. Poor Evan is watching twice as much TV as he usually does but he doesn't seem to mind. I still try to take him out for something fun to do in the mornings when I'm feeling kind of normal. I'm just ready to feel pregnant. To feel some connection with the baby, but all of that will come in due time.
Not much of an entry, but I'm in a pretty blah mood right now. Think I'll curl up on the couch and watch Monsters Inc. with Evan.
Well, I haven't forgotten about this journal, I just haven't had the time or energy to write in it. Already poor JellyBean is suffering from second child syndrom. But, I don't feel too guilty about it since when I was pregnant with "Pumpkin" (DS-Evan) I was so stressed and busy with classes for the first trimester I didn't have that much time or energy to record every little detail of the pregnancy.
The good news is that morning sickness seems to have passed. Sure, I still get sick here and there, but I can pretty much eat anything and don't feel nauseaous nearly as much. I guess I started feeling better last week. Last Monday, the start of wk. 10, I was very sick all day. The next day I started out feeling sick, but by afternoon I was feeling almost normal. This normal feeling has pretty much lasted since then. Another plus is that nasty metalic taste that was in my mouth has finally gone away. I guess that disappeared last week too. The only issues that I seems to have now is a slight backache, but nothing too painful.
I had my second dr. appt. last Thursday at 10 wks. 3 days. As usual I was pretty nervous about this appt., especially since my symptoms were going away. The doctor wanted to to another ultra-sound since she felt that it would still be too early to hear a heart-beat with a doppler. She found JellyBean right away, and the heartbeat too! Evan was with me so the doctor asked Evan if he would like to see the baby. Naturally the child wanted to see this mysterious baby in mommy's tummy so he quickly scampered off of the chair and stood infront of the monitor. Poor Evan was slightly confused and disappointed by the whole experience. I'm sure he was expecting to see a fat little "real" baby on the screen looking at him. Instead all he saw was black and white fuzz. The doctor pointed out the fluid that the baby was floating in. After she said that Evan said, "The baby likes to swim." Has soon as he started speaking little JelyBean began to kick his/her legs and bounce around. It was so great to see that bit of movement! I guess it was at that point I began to feel more connected to this little one. Wow, I'm going to have two children! Oh, and I love the fact that JellyBean started moving at the sound of his/her big brother's voice. I can't wait to start feeling movement. That probably won't happen for a few more weeks though. It's so nice knowing that I'm already in the 3rd month. We're slowly moving along.
Wow, I've really missed writing in this journal. I've been so sick and pesstimistic though I just didn't feel like logging on just to right a grumpy entry. Besides, I think I captured enough of the first trimester in the earlier entries. Yeah, I know that I've still got another week or two of the first trimester and yeah, things can still happen, but atleast I'm feeling much more positive.
So we made it to the 12 wk. mark. Naturally I know that I'm not out of the woods yet. Heck, I still have a bit of morning sickness, just a bit though. Boy I'm glad that's finally going away. Still not showing. Actually, I did kind of "pop" last Thursday so I have a bit of a tummy. Nothing that looks pregnant though. It's not even noticable if I wear big shirts, which is what I've been doing. My shorts still fit, but that's only because all of my shorts have a low waist or else elastic. I'm sure that none of my jeans would button. My waist is getting thicker. I would love to write more, but I'm just so exhausted right now all I want to do is take a nap with Evan. Luckily naptime is in 10 minutes.