Wanted: Family of Three, Pregnant After Multiple Losses

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Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79
Wanted: Family of Three, Pregnant After Multiple Losses

For the whole story, please check out my TTC Journal Biggrin


Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79


12DPO hCG (2/27) = 95.3
12DPO Progesterone = 23.2

14DPO hCG (3/1) = 304

First Tri Bloodwork (6/7, finally)
Type: O+
Rh +
Rubella Immune

Quad Screen (6/7) = Normal!

Glucose Screening (8/16) = No news is good news Wink

GBS = Positive :roll:

7W Ultrasound (3/22) 146BPM (doctor's estimate)
9W Ultrasound(4/5) 130s (nurse's estimate)
11W Ultrasound(4/19) 140s (doctor's estimate)
12W At-home Doppler-140s
15W At-home Doppler-135-145
20W Ultrasound (6/21) 136BPM
25W At-home Doppler-140
26W Doctor's Doppler (8/2) 144BPM
29W Ultrasound (8/23) 134BPM

3/22 (7W)-6W4D
4/5 (9W)-8W4D
4/19 (11W)-10W6D
6/21 (20W)-19W2D-19W5D
8/23 (29W)-~29W all measurements

Daliy Meds
81mg Aspirin
4mg Folic Acid50mg B6
500mcg B12
Prenatal Vitamin
Calcium Supplement
100mg Prometrium (stopped at 13W2D)

36W (10/11) "Loose centimeter" Dilated, 50% Effaced
37W (10/18th) ...same as last week...

4W (3/1) 126
5W (3/8 ) 125.5
6W (3/15) 125.5
7W (3/22) 126 Doctor's Weight 127.8
8W (3/29) 127.5
9W (4/5) 127 Doctor's Weight 128.8
10W (4/12) 126
11W (4/19) 127.5 Doctor's Weight 129.6
12W (4/26) 128
13W (5/3) 129
15W (5/17) 130.5 Doctor's Weight 133.0
16W (5/24) 131.5
17W (5/31) 133
18W (6/7) 134 Doctor's Weight 137.4
19W (6/14) 134
20W (6/21) 135
21W (6/28th) 136.5
22W (7/5) 138
23W (7/12) 138.5
24W (7/19) 141 :shock: WTF??
25W (7/26) 142
26W (8/2) 144 Doctor's Weight 147
27W (8/9) 144 Biggrin
28W (8/16) 144 Doctor's Weight 146.2 -- Uh, oh! Busted by the midwife!
29W (8/23) 146
30W (8/30) 146.5
31W (9/6) 148
32W (9/13) 150
33W (9/20) 150
34W (9/27) 151
35W (10/4) 151.5 Doctor's weight 155
36W (10/11) 155.5 :shock:
37W (10/18th) 154.5
38W (10/25) 154.5 Doctor's weight 159.4...hope to keep it under 160!!!

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

On Wednesday we had our second appointment. It was wonderful...the best yet!

We have an 8.5 week baby with a beating heart , clearly visible legs and feet and a big ol' head! It even decided to do a jump for us :blob10:

Obviously seeing the baby, the heartbeat and the growth were the highlights of the appointment and made it just wonderful, but it was good otherwise, too.

The doctor was so much more understanding and supportive and involved than ever before. When she came in she asked how I was, I said good, Scott said, "I'm nervous. I've never been this nervous for a doctor's appointment and it's not even mine." She went on to say, "I'm nervous too. I thought about you guys first thing this morning because I knew you were coming in. I really hope this is good news for you!"

Then when she inserted the probe and we immediately saw the baby she said, "Well, I think there's good news! Look how big it is and check out that heartbeat! I don't know about you guys, but I'm getting teary hear." I thought that was pretty cool of her. And then, as she was pointing out the legs, spine and head the baby did a kick, which brought me immediately to tears. My baby can MOVE! It was so surreal, so beautiful...just purely amazing.

It was a very happy appointment, and good to finally feel like the doctor is on my side and has some compassion. It's such a simple and basic need to feel like the doctor cares about you personally not just medically, but it's like pulling teeth to find that doctor! I still don't think she gets an "A" in Bedside Manner (Dr. Burke from GA would be so disappointed in her!) but I think she might be in line for "Most Improved."

She and the nurse counted out the heartbeat to be about 130 (I really wish the machine could count it!) and told us to come back in two weeks. I asked if we could hear the heartbeat then and she said probably, but we'll look too "'cause it's fun to look!" No arguements there, I'll look anytime!

I was also given the required Cystic Fibrosis screening information. We talked breifly about it and quickly concluded 1) it wouldn't change our decision to keep the baby and 2) I don't need anything else to worry about so we're not going to do the screening. I'd like to keep this as simple as possible so I don't see the need for the screening at this point.

Now I just need to make it through the next two weeks! :timer:

I feel like I am living my life "appointment to appointment" and everything in between is just filler. I have worries already even after seeing our baby just two days ago. My breast tenderness is definitely waning, but it's still there, just not as noticeable. I should probably be thankful for this since some nights they hurt so bad I almost cried, but I just don't want it to mean the beginning of the end. That's always been my first sign, so obviously it's freaking scary!

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79


I woke up this morning to the realization of Double Digits! What a great feeling Yahoo

Unfortunately I left the camera hooked up to the computer and ON for a week so the awesome lithium batteries I had in my camera for just a short time are now completely shot and I couldn’t take my ten week belly pic this morning! It’s very rare in our house to not have AA batteries of any kind available, but of course, we’re completely out! AAA, C, D, 9-volt…anyone? Just no AA’s. Even the rechargeables were dead! So, I will take the pic tomorrow, which is no big deal, I was just excited about the milestone of today.

I’ve been feeling good during the days this past week or so, but really getting my ass kicked in the evenings. My energy goes way down, my appetite flees and the nausea sets in. I’ve been getting a horribly upsetting taste in my mouth (maybe like metal, which some women complain of??) and altogether dreading the evenings. But I must admit…last night was pretty good! I had energy once I got home from work to help Scott clean my car (finally! It looks so good now!) and I didn’t head straight to the couch once we were done. We went out to grab a bite to eat and although I didn’t eat much, I was very glad not to get that funky taste in my mouth either. Hopefully that is gone for good, but I can’t be so sure as I can sort of feel it coming on now. My stomach is a little rocky, so I think I need to eat. Hopefully that will curb the ill feeling. Now if only the guys at work would get out of the break room so I can eat!

Our next appointment is a week from today, and of course I am in anticipation of it already! Luckily I have a short work week (closed on Friday, thank you to whoever for making Good Friday a Stock Exchange Holiday Smile ) and then this weekend we are going to visit family for Easter. I’m a little nervous about Easter because Scott wants to tell his brother and his brother’s wife that we are pregnant again, which in all reality is fine, I just wish we had our next appointment before then. They are completely supportive and understanding and I do want them to know, I would just be more comfortable if Easter were NEXT weekend, after the appointment!! I also have friends that want to go out drinking, so I’m either going to have to find a way out of that one or decide to break the news to them too. It still seems a little early, so I might just “be sick” that night…and who knows…I could very well be!

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

Good Friday is RIGHT!!

I guess it's not really that great of a day (it's gloomy and raining outside and I haven't done anything yet besides sit on the computer), but at least I'm not at work! I have plans to watch a few hours of Baby Story and go to Target and Old Navy. I need to pick up around here, too. I've felt great the last two days so I really don't have an excuse for being a lump on the couch anymore. I feel like I have almost my normal amount of energy back, which is exciting but unnerving too. I don't want to start feeling too good, because then I will panic about the progress of the pregnancy. I know Wednesday and the 11 week appointment will be here before I know it so I just need to relax until then, but I just can't help but wonder. That's just me.

Okay...time to motivate! Start some laundry and pick up the kitchen, shower then shop. No maternity or baby gear...I have to keep remining myself. Of course I'll look, but NO BUYING!! Actually, speaking of buying...I will be buying baby gear on Saturday! My old roommate Val is having a baby girl in July and I just got the shower invite. Unfortunately the shower is May 6, the day we leave for Hawaii, so I won't be able to go. I am also missing my friend Sarah's graduation that day. For our boring lives it's pretty ironic that two important events are happening when we wont be here :roll: I'm really bummed about missing both. Val is one girl you would never expect to have a baby. When we lived together she was the first female to graduate the Central Oregon Community College Mechanics program (that's CAR mechanins) and she drove a '57 Chevy truck that she was rebuilding. Her live was "rigs." She also grew up modelling, she is a very beautiful girl. Then she met Tim, my bestfriend's brother. She got in to real estate, traded the Chev for a Lexus and turned in to this surprising girly girl, making trips to the day spa and getting pedicures!! This...from the grease monkey! Now a few years later she is unexpectedly pregnant with Tim's baby. So much has changed for her in the 7 years that I've known her, it's really amazing. She is a strong individual and I know she can do this. I am very excited for her, and I wish I could see her in her perfectly pregnant state. The last time I saw her was at our wedding...Hmmm...she did catch the bouquet...maybe this is all my fault!! Lol And as for Sarah, I am so proud of her for going after and finishing her Master's in Education. School was never easy for her and despite a few road bumps along the way, but she's come through! I couldn't be happier for her, and again, I am sad to miss her graduation. And all for Hawaii! Don't get me wrong, I am excited to go to Hawaii! I've never been and I've always wanted to go, I just didn't plan on it being the same day as some of these other important events! But life goes on, and I will send my love to both of these amazing women on their special days.

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

We had yet another amazing appointment yesterday!

The appointment started on the right foot with an entire 30 second wait in the lobby! I couldn't beleive it! I had to look around before I got up to make sure the nurse wasn't calling some other Cathi who was in the waiting room...but, nope, it was me! It was a new nurse today, and she was much more pleasant than "PAM." (Hopefully Pam got the boot!)

After just a short wait the doctor was in the exam room, asking a few quick questions (I mean quick: "Any cramping?" No. "Any bleeding?" No.) and was then returning with the ultrasound machine. I still hadn't been given a sheet or told to undress yet though :?: when she told me we were doing an abdominal! Okay, I thought, cool. But it wasn't that cool!! Of course it was great to see the growing baby and beating heart, but there definition I was hoping for wasn't there. But the doctor was very pleased with what she saw and was quite encouraging, so I was okay with that. After the ultrasound she asked about the progesterone (Yes, I'm still taking it...No, I don't need anymore.) then we started talking about our upcoming trip to Kauai. She was mostly talking to Scott since they have both been there, so I sat on the table and listened, glancing down every so often at my ultrasound picture. She finally told us to come back the day after vacation, and to have fun. On her way out she told me to smile, I should be happy. I said "I'm smiling, I was just listening to you guys talk." Then Scott chimed in..."I know what's wrong, you thought you were going to get a transvaginal ultrasound." I denied it, but the next thing the doctor was saying was, "Do you want one? I'll go get it." I was shocked, but quickly said yes! I was surprised at how NOT busy she was (I normally wait an hour and she rushes in and out!), and commented about it. She said, "Yeah, but I have a woman across the street at the hospital pushing, so if I don't come back you know where I went!" God, she was in a good mood and it was GREAT!

So I undressed and we did the transvaginal ultrasound, and I'll be the first to admit that I was MUCH happier instantaneously! The difference in clarity and detail is amazing, and it was especially cool because she spent time actually looking for and pointing out features of the baby. I don't know what was the coolest, but we got an amazing view of the heart and she was able to point out all four chambers, and we could see great detail in the hands, face, spine, and umbilical cord as well. At one point I mentioned that a hand was moving, and she told me that it was actually wrapped around the umbilical cord, which was making the hand pulse! That was pretty amazing...to think that the umbilical cord is pumping away steadily enough to make a movement in the hand visible on an ultrasound screen. The little one wasn't wriggling around too much, but did give us one good show. We stared in amazement, and I wished it wouldn't end, but I'll tell you this...it was one of the greatest 5 minutes of my life. I was so happy to see my baby growing well , with my husband holding my hand and clearly beaming as much as I was. It was just perfect, and I am so thankful that the doctor provided us the opportunity to have that experience.

Here is a picture of the little one (little is right, he or she is still only 4 cm!). This kid's going to be a ham...already smiling and waving from inside to womb (actually, we were very lucky that he/she was facing directly out the cervix to get this shot!)

In other appointment news, we asked the doctor what days she does deliveries, and we learned that she does them everyday that she is working, and is on-call on Wednesdays, and on-call one weekend every month. She said if she is physically in town, she will come to the labor or delivery of every patient. (She said hopefully it's in the middle of the night so her kids won't know she's gone!)

Since the appointment went well, I think we're finally ready to tell Joe and Brooke, which we didn't do over the Easter weekend. We started to call them last night, but remembered that Joe is out hunting for birds for 10 days or so . I think tonight I might email Brooke the picture and surprise her with that. In fact, I might tell a couple of people that way. It's a little impersonal, I know...but the surprise factor makes up for it. And I won't be seeing these people for awhile, so it totally works.

Alright...I can't believe I'm going to admit this, but I participated in a Taco Bell run at work today! I haven't had Taco Bell in two years...at least. But hey, I'm pregnant!

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

I bought my first maternity clothes today!

At 11 and a half weeks I am still totally able to wear all of my regular clothes, but I've been hearing all these women say "The maternity is so much more comfortable" so I decided to see what they were talking about. I tried on a pair of jeans and a pair of shorts, and I left the store with both! They're both no-panel (good for 1st and 2nd trimesters) so they just have the elastic waist in the back and regular front. I must say, they are MUCH MORE comfortable than my regular jeans are right now, even though the elastic in the back still seems a little silly to me! I wore a pair of regular size 8 pants yesterday, and swam in them in every area but the waist, so it's nice to wear the materninty that fit EVERYWHERE like my regular pants, but with a little more room in the waist. It's pretty cool. I never figured I'd be so impressed with maternity clothes, but here I am, marveled by it! I guess I'm just happy that my belly is growing...this is all so new and exciting!

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79


Such an important milestone and I couldn't even bring myself to write about it! Oh well...today is a good day too Biggrin It's beautiful outside and I'm working with the door open (if you call this working :roll:), just waiting to get off in 4 and a half hours so I can speed home and open my doppler! I just checked the DHL website and supposedly it's sitting on my door step. I can't wait to crack in to it. This morning (or was it last night???can't remember) Scott asked me to wait to try it until he gets home. Poor guy...I just laughed at him! He's been working from 5am till almost dark (7 or 8pm) all week so he can get some things done at work before we leave for Hawaii. So I feel bad that he's been working so much and missing out on spending time together, but there's no way I'll be able to wait. I told him I need to practice using it so when he gets home I can find the heartbeat for him right away. He agreed to that, but I still feel a little bad. It is something I would like for us to experience together, but the anticipation is so built up that it just wont be possible for me to wait. But by the time he gets home I'll be a pro and he'll be able to listen to his baby's heartbeat right away. (Providing that I'm able to find it...oh, I hope I hope I hope I can find it!!)

The last few days I have been living on Light All Beef hot dogs and lounging in my maternity jeans. This is what I do when Scott's not home in the evenings! Terrible I know. I can't believe how GOOD the hot dogs have been. Heated up nice and hot and golden brown on the BBQ with ketchup and mustard...feels like the 4th of July! But I still can't figure out why a pack of hot dogs would come with 10 dogs but a pack of buns only comes with 8. What kind of a rip off is that!!??!!

I need to get off my hot dog kick and start eating some real food. Vegetables still don't sound good to me, which is so odd, but I can eat them if they are cooked and in something, or on a sandwich, but a salad is the last thing I feel like eating. I hope I don't follow in the steps of my mom and sister with GD. I couldn't bear to give up all the carbs I've been eating! I told my sister it would be "very bad for me" if I have GD and she said, "Actually, it would be very good for you!" I know she doesn't WANT me to have it, but she was implying that it wouldn't hurt to ease up on the pasta, bread and rice! I know she's right. Big sis always is!

Okay...so now it's only 4 hours till I'm outta here...


Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

For the record keeping aspect of this journal...

8 weeks compared to 12 weeks. Still a ways to go, but the maternity pants are feeling pretty comfortable by now!

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

Doppler...you are a friend of mine!

I just got home and cracked in to the doppler, and it is a pure wonder! I found the baby's heartbeat right away (within 10 seconds!) and just listened in joy. After a few moments I counted the rate out and it seems to be between 140 and 150, which makes me purely happy!

I can't wait for Scott to get home...he is going to be so amazed.

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79


...but I swear I just felt my baby move! I promised myself I wouldn't jump to this conculsion until I knew for sure, but here I am...jumping! And at only 12W5D!!

I'm sitting at my desk working or whatever you call this that I'm doing, and I was sort of leaning over, looking at the monitor, one elbow on the desk. The waist of my pants is sitting tight, an inch or two below my belly button, when right behind the waistband I felt what I can only describe as a soft scraping. I suppose if you imagined holding a nickel between two fingers underneath a thick blanket then moving it an inch or so would be what this felt like (that's a really stupid description...I know!). I felt it twice within about 10 seconds, in two slightly different places, and that's it so far.

It was really subtle, but seemingly obvious at the same time. I suppose it could have been gas or a muscle spasm, but it was so different because it actually had movement to it, like it moved an inch and had motion, it didn't just twitch.

Anyhow...maybe I'm just bored and imagining things (PROBABLY!) but it's crazy to think that there is a moving baby inside of me that I MAY have just felt.

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

Where is the time going?!? The pregnancy isn't really progressing too speedily for me, but time seems to be flying otherwise.

We had a fabulous week long vacation in Kauai. It was everything you hope for in a vacation...relaxation, eating out, adventure, sight seeing...ocean, pool, shopping. It was really quite perfect! I missed having drinks with Scott and his dad a little, but I did endulge in a glass of wine with my dinner one night. And boy was that good!

After vacation we had an appointment, and it was, to date, the least exciting appointment yet. I guess I'm done getting ultrasounds until the "big" one, so that's a little bit of a bummer. We did listen to the heartbeat with the doppler, but I can do that at anytime at home, so it wasn't as cool as it was the first time! I am by no means tired of listening to the heart, it just would have been fun to get another ultrasound. I really wanted to check the growth, too, but my uterus is getting nice and big (as is my belly!) so I hope that means the baby is growing just fine.

Here's a 15 week picture to illustrate the growing belly...

I told my mom about the pregnancy on Mother's Day and she was quite happy, to say the least. But I've already been driven nuts by her, and it's just been three days! I gave her a really beautiful jeweled picture frame in her favorite color and blew up the 11 week ultrasound picture to put in it. She got in right away, and had a good reaction, which I was a little worried about. She isn't sensitive to others AT ALL and I thought for sure she would immediately harass me about not telling her sooner...but she didn't. I was really quite surprised, and it turned out to be a pretty good day. But since then...oy. She's called me once and this was our conversation:

Cathi: Hello!
Mom: Hi. Are you sick?
C: No
M: Good, you better not be! I never was.
C: What do you mean? You're sick all the time! *in raised voice*
M: Not when I was pregnant, Cath. *in snotty "I'm so perfect" voice*
C: *getting upset* Even if I was Mom you can't go thinking you're better than me be because your pregnancy was different.
M: Cath, I didn't say I was better than you. Bye *through tears!*

...and she hung up. That was 2 days ago and I haven't talked to her since. The argument started as a pure misunderstanding because I thought she was asking me if I was sick, as in "did I have a cold", since this was the first thing out of her mouth and I figured she thought I sounded stuffy. Then it evolved quickly to a comparison of pregnancies...which I'm not about to take from her. Her attitude towards pregnancy and children is very self-centered. She thinks she had the best pregnancies, the best kids, and was the best mother. I watched her do it with my sister and I'm not willing to let her relive her "perfect" pregnancies and "perfect" parenting through my fault and folly. There's a loving way to offer advice to your children and talk about your own experiences, but with an air of arrogance is NOT the way to do it. Normally I let crap like this slide with her, but I know I'm going to have to lay some ground rules about this. It's pretty pathetic to have to tell your mother that it's not nice to constantly compare and compete about pregnancy, but alas, this is my mother of 26 years and I should be used to it by now. God, it was so much easier with her not knowing!!

Anyhow...I have also just recently broke the news to everyone at work. My boss was quite happy for me, though I know he's concerned about how my job will be covered when the time comes, especially since our part-time girl put in her 2 weeks (3, actually) just one day after I announced my pregnancy. I'm sure he's stressed about that, but there's really nothing I can do! The guys at work were all pretty excited too. They felt a need to celebrate, and feed the baby, so we ordered pizza. I hope they don't try to coerce me in to eating too much junk food over the next few months!

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

SLEEP! I need sleep!! :sleepy1:

I am do darned tired, but when it comes time to go to bed I just can't sleep. I took two Tylenol PM last night, which helped, but I was still up. Went to the bathroom twice. Had to roll Scott over twice. He's getting so close to me lately, and it drives me nuts. And he's constantly facing me, and him breathing on me is the LAST thing I want while I'm trying to sleep. I told him last night that I seriously needed him to give me my space in bed so I can sleep, but he wants to be touching lately. If not my belly, then my arm. It's sweet, it really is, but I'm not used to touching and sleeping close, especially when I'm not sleeping well to begin with! I'm also up worried about my sleeping position, which I know is completely absurd. But since we talk about it on the boards, it's on my mind. I know I'm not the only one up worrying about this, but I know it's silly to miss sleep over worrying about this. At 16 weeks I know it doesn't matter if I'm on my stomach, back, left or right, but I do know that it matters if I am sleeping. I consider taking a nap after work, but then I fear not sleeping during the night! I suppose my body may be adjusting for the sleeplessness to come, but that's why I want all the sleep I can get now! I suppose I will try taking a Tylenol PM for the next few nights to see it that helps.

During my boring (and sleepy!) days at work I have started researching stollers, carseats, and the like. I stop myself at times and think "This is way too early." Then other times I can convince myself that time is short, and I need to start preparing myself for things to come. I suppose it's the "things to come" part of that which scares me. I don't want to put too many expectations on the outcome of this pregnancy, but at the same time I really want to believe we are going to have a healthy baby in a few months. It's a little battle I play with myself. I'm getting better at not figthing it so constantly and at times I find myself completely relaxed and planning for our future. I like those times...a lot. I don't want to worry, but I'm also just too damn realistic not to.

Hopefully I can stop worrying about my baby's heartrate. Everytime I count it out it is between 136 and 148 BPM. I see so many other women with higher rates, but according to what little information I could find on the internet anything between 120 and 160 is normal for this stage of pregnancy. So I'll try to take that as reassurance until I can ask my doctor. She's not worried about the heartrate at all...and didn't even count it out last time, so I know I just need to relax.

And get some sleep.

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

I had a pretty cool experience yesterday with feeling the baby move. I have been feeling it for several weeks now, but yesterday was the strongest feeling yet (16W5D).

Scott and I were having a really nice day, just hanging out, enjoying the sun and running errands togehter. I had planned on making potato salad for our 2-man BBQ later that night, but realized I didn't have any mayo. I decided I would run to 7-11 (the closest store) to pick some up. He wanted to come. On the way we decided to go to Home Depot and the regular store instead of 7-11. We were sitting in silence, driving along to Home Depot, when I looked over to him and said, "I can feel the baby moving." I smiled, he smiled, then he grabbed on to my hand and just held it tight, with such love and pride. It was such a tender, sweet moment. My eyes welled up right then and there, as they are now just thinking about it again! It was the first time in a long time that we had shared a moment like that, and I treasure it!

Now, needless to say, Scott is very excited to be able to feel the baby with his hand. I told him another month at least. Hoping I'm not too far off!

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

We had a really nice weekend in Sunriver with the family, and I couldn't have asked for a better birthday. It all started Thursday after work when I got home my and Scott had surprised me with the best early birthday EVER! It was so simple, but so great. Instead of the ol', "I'll take you shopping," he went all thoughtful on me! When I got home on the counter was a purple calla lily for the yard, and two presents! One was to me, and the other to "Moms." For me, I got the Oprah 20th Anniversary Box Set! Love it...but then he told me it was $50 and I've already seen most of it, so we might take it back Lol I was then told to go to the baby's room for another present, and there he had my camera set up on a new tripod! I've been wanting a tripod forever, so that was awesome. Then back to the living room for the "Moms" gift. He had a sweet little card with butterflies and rhinestones on the front that said "Little Flutters" and on the inside he wrote something to the effect of being excited to feel the movements too and being able to share those times together. So sweet! And the gift...He picked out this perfect soft white blanket that says "Sweet Baby" embroidered in green! I cried so much...and am tearing up now too! Just for him to pick out something so perfect and precious...it makes me melt. It's our first blanket, too, so it's especially special! I've already washed it, and :oops: we've been taking it to bed with us! We are obviously more than looking forward to wraping up our little one in it. You should see how protective he is over it...last night I sat on the couch and pulled the blanket on to my lap, and started eating some popcorn that he had made. He freaked and made me put another blanket over it so I wouldn't get it greasy. How you get a blanket greasy with 94% fat free microwave popcorn is beyond me, but I love that he cares about it. If he's this way with a blanket, just think how he'll be with the baby! Oy. Lol

He started off the weekend really great with my early surprise birthday, then we went to Sunriver on my actual birthday with his family. Little Payton was so excited to see me since she hadn't seen me since she was told I have a baby in my tummy. She had lots of questions and first predicted girl, but is now saying baby boy. We let her listen to the heartbeat with the doppler, and while she said she liked it, by the look on her face I would guess that she was a little freaked out! :shock: When we went to see Steph and Ferd, Ela asked if I brought the "heartbeat thing" so she could listen (she had seen me use it the weekend prior) and she was a little sad that I didn't have it. It amazes me how little girls are so enthralled by pregnancy and babies in tummies! It's like they're born to be mothers and its obvious even at 3 and 4. So cute.

We have an appointment this evening, but I'm not expecting much. I think it's just bloodwork and I'm sure she'll do the doppler. I am bringing my doppler with me too just so she can see it since last time she sounded so skeptical about me having a "real" one. I swear, it's real!! Scott keeps telling me he wants another ultrasound, so I told him to ask her for one. He said, "I might." So we'll see what happens, but I am not expecting much, particularly not an ultrasound!

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

I have been sleeping a little better the last few nights, and was pleasantly surprised when I woke up for the first time last night at 3:34am! I always need to get up and pee between 12-1am...so you can imagine how bad I had to go at 3:34 when I'm usually getting up for round 2 (or 3, depending on the night!) Wowsas! Then when I got back in to bed the rest of my morning was riddled with wild dreams. One in particular. To sum it up, it went a little like this:

I delivered a girl...a big one, like 6 months old! It was terrible though because I was knocked out for it and when I woke up I had to find a nurse (while in a bloody robe) to take me to the baby who was out in the main hospital which was more like a department store, locked up in a jewelry display case, in a cardboard box wrapped in plastic wrap. Awful...but she was still breathing!

Along with the crazy story came crazy emotions. I was IRATE!! I had been knocked out and when I woke up I was changed...they had taken my baby out of me. I think this confused emotion stemmed from the way I felt after my D&C, where afterward I was upset for days because they took my baby, and I didn't even get to talk to the doctor afterward. It was the same in the dream, only Scott was very happy because he had seen the baby, and he got to say "It's a girl!" But even he couldn't explain where the baby was once I "came to" and I had to find her myself. Very uncooperative nurses...I was bloody...NOT how you want to envision your hospital experience. Or your baby...wrapped up in cardboard and plastic. YIKES!!

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79


Um...yeah, so I'm pretty excited about tomorrow! Reaching halfway is a great enough milestone in and of itself...and to have the ultrasound on the same day is really something special. Of course, we won't be finding out the gender, but I am still very excited to see the little one moving around, hopefully happy and healthy inside of me. I'm very confident that all will be well. I feel the baby move too much and hear the heartbeat often enough to not think that things are going well. Obviously I know problems could still be detected, but I'm not trying to think like that. Then Scott goes and says, "I'm nervous for tomorrow." Just what I need! A nervous husband! But I retorted with, "I'm excited for tomorrow! We get to see our baby!" I'm pretty sure he's excited for that part, too. Lol

At our last appointment we did first tri blood work as well as the quad screen. Blood work was all good: O+, Rh+, HIV-, Rubella immune, etc. and the quad screen also came back normal for Downs, spina bifida, and every thing else it tests for. The quad screen results were a great relief...especially since I was probably going to deny the test but they did it without asking. I still don't know why they did that...but I suppose I don't really care since the results were normal. Those normal results all help me feel confident that the ultrasound tomorrow will also be positive.

Other good news is that I'm starting to look pregnant. :preggo: I got my hair cut last week and my hair lady gasped when she saw me and said, "Are you pregnant?!" I beamed, "I am!" Then we talked about how that was risky for her to blurt out...but she would have caught herself if she really wasn't sure. She was cute, and very flattering to me, telling me I was far to big to not be pregnant compared to how I normally look. That was at 19 weeks exactly. THEN two days later I was out to dinner with Sarah and Mary at Kobe's in Palm Springs and the cook said to me is his broken English, "When you due?" I was so happy! A complete stranger!! (Unlike my hair lady :D) The older couple sitting next to me started asking questions and it was just really fun to be noticeably pregnant for the first time! Definitely lovin' it!

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

Twenty weeks and the big ultrasound have come and gone...almost a week ago now...and I haven't yet written about the beauty of it all! Shame on me.

The ultrasound was ultra-amazing. It was so beautiful to see our little baby there inside of me kicking and squirming, swallowing amniotic fluid, with a beating heart (136BPM), two kidneys, a brain, a stomach, little hands and feet...oh, I wish I would have written last week because now I don't remember all the details!! The tech was quite descriptive in telling us what we were seeing and what he was measuring. If he detected anything abnormal about the baby, he sure didn't let on to us. I asked the tech what size the baby was measuring, and he said he wasn't checking :?: Which I thought was weird since it displays on the screen, and even I was checking!! Of the four measurements I saw that displayed dates, they were all between 19W2D and 19W5D. So at 20 weeks, we measured approximately 19 and a half weeks, which is consistent with our early ultrasounds. We got some pretty cool pictures, but I feel sad that we didn't get the cool body profile shot that you see a lot of people getting. Nevertheless, we have two beautiful facial profile shots, a scary skeleton face, and a wee little foot! (I'll be sure to post the pics soon) It's pretty amazing, and the baby is definitely a cutie Wink

As evidenced by the ultrasound, the baby is moving A LOT (we even got to see a shot of him or her kicking my cervix while the tech was taking the cervical measurements...so weird!). I couldn't feel much during the actual ultrasound, but I can definitely feel the baby move so much now. I love it! I spend a few minutes with Scott every night to see if he can feel it, but he's yet to be able to, even some of the big ones. He wants to feel it so bad, it's too cute. Since I am feeling the baby move so much I don't feel as compelled to use the doppler every night, but Scott still really enjoys the reassurance of it. I still love it too, but I am also enjoying the novelty of being able to feel the baby move inside of me. It's so amazing. So, so, so amazing.

I went out to the neighborhood garage sale this weekend to see if I could find any great deals on baby things, and I basically just confirmed for myself that I can't stand garage sales. Despite finding a pair of perfect condition Osh Kosh engineer's overalls for a buck and a little pair of red cotton pants for a quarter, I got completely sick of looking at people's JUNK! One possibly good deal was a Baby Bjorn for $40, but it was faded and had bits of food stuck to it which was enough for me to settle with borrowing Carrin's (she offered, too!) and keeping the forty bucks tucked away in my little pocket! I thought I might find some toys to hold on to for later, but you wouldn't believe what crap people have.

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

Well...I bought my first diapers tonight! I just couldn't leave Target tonight without something for the baby, and since I had to buy Vaseline for Scott for something at work, I found myself on the diaper aisle! I bought two packs: Huggies Newborn Gentle Care and Pampers Swaddlers. $8.50 each for 40. Damn those things are expensive!! If baby runs through 10 a day that $17 I spent today will be done-zo in 8 days. But it's so worth it (as I consider all the discretionary spending that I will have to cut back on soon!).

I also made our appointment with the Maternity Care Coordinator up at the hospital. We'll go on July 19 to tour the hospital, pre-register and look at the classes they have to offer. It seems way too soon, but I guess at that point I'll be 24 weeks and after that point anything can happen (but hopefully not too soon :shock:).

Buying diapers and getting that appointment today helped me reconnect with being pregnant today. I had a real downer of an afternoon and evening last night...all due to the changes my body is going through. Hormonal, for sure...but physical as well. Not my belly...I love that!...but my boobs. I just don't want them to get any bigger. I've moved from a full B/small C to busting out of a D. I was so uncomfortable in my bra all day yesterday and when I finally took it off at home my boobs hit my belly and touched my skin. Soooo not used to that. And it bothered me. It was silly in hindsight, but I couldn't help the tears from rolling! It's strange because I tried and tried and tried (4 times actually!) to be successfully pregnant, and now that I am, I feel totally guilty for complaining about a single thing. I just want a baby. That's what I always thought, and I still feel that way, so I was awfully suprised by myself when I felt so discouraged about my dang boobs last night. Who cares if my boobs are huge and ugly?? It's all for the baby! Right? Well...I couldn't see it like that last night. I just had visions of ever-growing boobs and awful stretchmarks. I've since come around today, and decided to try to wear more tank tops with shelf bras! I was so much more comfortable, and I think that helped me to not be so hormonal about the jugs. With the way I was feeling physically it was truly no wonder I broke down about it emotionally.

Alas, I feel much better today...especially since I got diapers and have another appointment to look forward too Lol

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79



We were laying in bed last night, and like most nights I asked Scott to check to see if he could feel the baby. Actually, I had my hand on my belly, and though for weeks it felt like I could feel it from the outside, but he hasn't been able to. But last night was pretty intense, so I told him, "Give me your hand." Right away we were saying simultaneously, "Did you feel that?" and "I felt that!" He felt two good kicks, then we were both too tired to try for more. I didn't cry, but I couldn't stop smiling there in the dark for a good few minutes. :mrgreen: I was giddly with delight..and so was he! It was a perfect way to begin a restful night's sleep (I only got up once to pee!) and we got to sleep in together, to boot!

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

Yikes, I've been a bad journal keeper! 18 days and no entry...I guess that's a good sign that things have been going well and, well...uneventfully.

Two weeks ago now we had our 22 week appointment (copied and pasted)...

While I was expecting a dull, in-and-out deal, it was actually a fun appointment! Most of that was likely due to the fact that we got to see the midwife since my doctor is out of town, and she is so friendly!! She definitely loves her job, babies, and pregnancy. You can hear it in her voice. Just so excited and happy about talking to you about your pregnancy.

We went over the 20 week ultrasound results. All is good: no cleft lip, 3 vein cord, 4 chamber heart, good on dates, fluids look good, etc...BUT I have a low lying placenta (2cm above cervix). She's not concerned, I'm not concerned, but we get another ultrasound at 28 weeks! Yay! And, she told me that the hospital will turn on the 3D! I was like, "What? They have 3D?? Why didn't they turn it on at the 20 week?" She said it was too early...which, I've seen 3D earlier than 20 weeks so I don't know what she was talking about but I'm pretty stoked about getting it! By then the baby will have more defined facial features anyhow, which if I recall correctly, she said is the reason they wait. The baby won't be so skinny then, so he or she will look more life-like.

She thought the baby was really active and told me to get some good running shoes. And I measured 23 weeks (one ahead) by fundal height.

Out next appointment is in 4 weeks, then we start going every 2 weeks Seems so early! We'll do the glucose test at the first 2 week appointment, which is with the midwife again (I think, I could be confused).

Since the 22 week appointment things have been going well and I have been feeling great (besides an occasional sore back). Actually, my boss has ordered me a new chair, which I hope will help with the soreness I feel at work. It's a thousand dollar chair :shock: so it better be good! And he better not ever hang this chair over my head when it comes time to make the real decision on whether or not I'll be returning to work permanently. That would just suck to deal with. I don't think he'd do that, at least not to my face.

Over the weekend my mom and sister got to feel the baby move. The little bugger has been going crazy after taking a few days off, so I'm glad they were able to catch a couple of kicks. Carrin is especially sweet...she just loves that I am pregnant Biggrin Makes me pretty darn happy, too!

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

We go to the hospital today to do the tour of the maternity floor and to pre-register. I can't believe we're doing this already! But today is 24 weeks, so the big day is only going to get closer. It's so crazy to think about. After talking to Val last night and hearing about her shellshock these past 2 weeks since Sophia was born, I can't stop thinking about how much life is going to change. It's great to hear her advice and experiences, being a new young mom herself, and she is definitely drilling in to my head the fact that I cannot totally prepare for what life will be after the baby comes...even with the advice and words of wisdom of millions of moms. You just don't know until it happens to you. And I love her honesty about it, though it intimidates the heck out of me!

Also indimidating me these days is the scale. It's doing a real good job of going up, and up, and up. I'm not really worried about it, I just still can't get used to the idea of all this weight piling on...especially when I don't even feel like I'm eating a lot of extra food. I know my body is better utilizing the food I do eat so that contributes to the scale...it's just so bizarre. I mean, I'm 3 pounds more today than I was just 7 days ago. That's NUTS! It also makes me wonder if I've gone through a growth spurt. I feel like my belly has gotten bigger every day this week, so maybe it's not just an illusion and the scale is a reflection of actual growth. That would be nice.

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

The hospital tour and pre-registration last night was interesting, albeit a little scary! Scott and I both commented on how the appointment was making things all too real. I about crapped my pants when she pulled out the birth certificate application! What the heck?!? Already?? Of course it's just to make things easier while we're there having the baby, but that was odd. That helped things really hit home for me.

The birth plan questionnaire was also really interesting. She asked all sorts of questions from who would like to cut the umbilical cord to whether we'll accept visitors, to what types of pain medication I may or may not be interested in. I wasn't prepared to answer some of the questions...like the pain meds one. We ended up marking "as needed" but I considered "don't offer" for a few moments. Then I admitted that I'm not actually committed to natural labor (though I would like to try), and it wouldn't bother me for a nurse to offer medication when she felt I might like it, so we went with "as needed." I also learned a little about Stadol, and will be looking in to using it before resorting to the epidural. I don't know if I'm crazy, stubborn, or just curious...but I would like to see what unmedicated labor is like.

Seeing the birthing rooms was another shock. It was crazy to think that sometime soon our baby will be born in one of those 4 rooms. Yes, that's right...one of four. Only 4 rooms!!! I hadn't realized just how small the hospital is until we went there last night and saw for ourself. It's small. It worries me a little that there isn't a NICU (which I've always known) but I researched today and found out there is a NICU at Salem Hospital, which I would guess is less than 30 miles away. Not too bad, but it makes me really miss Bend where there is a NICU, and makes we wish we were closer to Portland where lots of hospitals have NICUs. Hopefully its a moot point...but ya never know.

All in all the hospital tour and pre-registration was a neat experience, and an eye-opening one. We have a lot to do in the coming weeks, and I look forward to it.

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79


I got my new chair at work! It's wonderful...and I feel so spoiled Biggrin Yay, me!

We have our last 4 week appointment tonight. Hard to believe we'll be going every two weeks from now on. Going to the doctor will feel like just another errand...like going to the grocery store for instance! Crazy, crazy.

I don't expect anything spectacular at the appointment tonight. Maybe an order to schedule the follow up ultrasound to check on the low-lying placenta, and a heads up for the glucose screening in two weeks. God, I hope I pass that. I have been gaining weight like mad the last few weeks and that sorta scares me. I haven't been eating too incredibly terribly, but the scale is reflecting some serious poundage. I hope, hope, hope I don't have a sugar issue. That would just ruin me!

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79


Scott painted the baby's room on Monday! I love, love, love the color. It's really just what I wanted and so perfect! It's called Sisal, by Ralph Lauren. It's the most perfect tan. Not purple-y, and not too green, yellow or orange either. It's just right!

Now I'd like to get some furniture in there! We've been shopping for a black dresser and have just had so-so luck. We found one we really like at a regular furniture store, but it's like $559 for the dresser and $289 for the end table. That's just too much, considering that our budget for a chair, dresser and end table is $1,200. Then there's the ottoman, too. Yikes. We decided the crap at BRU really isn't worth the money, nor is the actual "baby furniture" we've seen, so we'll probably stick with the regular furniture stores. We've had the best luck there so far.

Scott told me to order the Pack 'N Play, so you bet I won't hesitate on that! It's not available in the BRU stores we have here, so I'm just going to order it and get it now so I can have something to look at and play with. I'll be using it a lot (bedside) so I want to be really familiar with it...I just might even fill up the changing station on it Wink

I think our room is going to be great. Scott's still a little hesitant about using Joey's maple crib and pairing it with black accessories, but I think it will look nice when it's all put together. We put the 8 X 10 Kauai pictures in the frames, and until we find the black dresser, we'll keep them in the wood tone. Who knows, we may not go black afterall!

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

Well, I'm pissed! The Pack 'N Play is "Temporarily Unavailable Online." How annoying is that?!?!? But don't worry...I'll be checking every day.

Last night's appointment was rather unimpressive. The doctor irritates me so badly sometimes! She doesn't really ask me any questions, and is just so vague. "The heart beat's good." "Your uterus is measuring fine." But what about the numbers...I want NUMBERS!! We got the heart rate out of her because Scott happened to ask whether the rate increases or slows over the course of the pregnancy so she talked about that for a moment and said, "It was 144 today." I was surprised she had even counted it, and I said, "Wow, you counted it fast!" (She listened for only a short period of time) and then she told me the doppler counted it. I never knew her doppler had a display...as she's never given me the rate before! That kind of thing just annoys me. Why not keep the patient informed, you know? But alas, she was busy and my baby's heart rate was likely of fairly low importance to her, as was the rest of our appointment, except her desire to stress to us that the end of the pregnancy will be here sooner than we know it and we need to get a carseat and stroller really soon, especailly if we're ordering something fancy like a Maclaren or Peg Perego :?: I thought that was really weird for her to mention the fancy strollers. Maybe we seem like the shi-shi stroller type (which is unusual in Albany)...but we're all Graco! Thankfully she'll be gone in two weeks when we have our next appointment and I get to see the midwife again! YAY! She's so great Biggrin

Oh, and...luckily Scott remembered on our way out the door to ask about the follow up ultrasound! She didn't even mention it! I bet she hasn't even read the 20 week ultrasound report since the midwife was with us for that appointment. Anyhow, I had to go back and bring it up to the nurse, and we have the follow up ultrasound to check on the low-lying placenta in three weeks.

In other news...my shower is scheduled for Sunday September 10! Shower...wow. It's just crazy to me all these things that are happening to get ready for the baby. It's all so real, but I know I'll have no idea until the baby is actually here. I'm getting the finishing touches on the addresses today so Brooke can send them out next week. Wild and Crazy!

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

Two things:


and much more importantly...


Holy smokes! Can you believe it? I hardly can. I am beaming and thrilled, purely excited...and a little terrified Lol Everyone is telling me the end is closer than we think. I don't take that comment with a grain of salt. I know they are right!

We made some head way in our preparations last weekend. We ordered a beautiful dresser and nightstand from Good Night Room and a Best Chair from Segal's. Both should be here in about 6 weeks, I think. The dresser and nightstand are in black finish, and the chair is a swivel glider recliner in camel. So excited! I can't wait to put them in the room. Scott also painted the frames for the Hawaii photos, and they look great. We also bought some plain white onesies this week. Little by little...getting things done.

I have been feeling quite well lately. Tired of course, but I'm so happy that I can say that I feel great with honesty when people ask. I know that's not the case for everyone, and I am very fortunate. However, sleep is becoming a little more difficult between staying comfortable and sleeping through the baby's kicks, but I suppose it's just training. It would be nice if I didn't have to get up at 5am and function socially and professionally after such sleepless nights, but that day is coming. Today I wanted so bad to stay in my sweats and curl up on the couch rather than shower and head to work. But who wouldn't want that? Lol

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

28 Weeks and plugging along.

I got to do the glucose screening yesterday, which was a bit of a fiasco between a power outage all across town and trying to get to the appointment on time for the 1 hour blood draw...but I made it there, only twenty minutes late. The nurse said twenty minutes likely wouldn't throw the results off too terribly. I hope not. I just really don't want to fast for 4 hours again! The drink I could handle fine, but it's the fasting that sorta got to me. I felt queasy with all that sugar and no real food for 4 hours. Actually, by the time we got out of the appointment and back to the car where my nectarine was waiting it was 6:30 and had been 6 hours since I had had any food. Yikes. Don't want to do that again. And *note to self* next time you ever have to do a glucose screening, take some food with you in to the appointment!

We got to meet with the midwife again for this appointment since the doctor was out of town. She showed us how the baby is positioned and even placed both of our hands so we could feel the little butt. So cute!

And I got a short lecture about weight gain. She wasn't exactly concerned that I didn't gain any weight in the last two weeks (actually, according to their scales I lost .8 pounds) but she did encourage me to eat some ice cream and try to gain a pound a week. She also mentioned that if this continued and I start to experience vomitting or heartburn that she would check my thyroid for any changes. I'm sure I was just in a lull. I had been concerned about gaining too much weight per week so I did make extra effort to work in more fruit and healthy snacks, so that may have had an impact. But I swear...I wasn't dieting and I will eat more. In fact, the guys at work just brought me a Frosty from Wendy's and I'm eating it now. It's not even that good...but I'm still eating it. BTW, did you know that Wendy's makes a Vanilla Frosty now? Mine's chocolate, but I thought that was weird.

Oh, and...we got the Pack N Play! It became available online within a few days so I ordered it up quick. It looks great...I love the pattern and colors and can't wait to place it next to the bed with our little babe in it!

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

Ahhh...MOTHERS!!! :banghead:

Good grief. One day, 24 hours, is definitely enough to drive a girl completely nuts. It started with the trunkload of crap that she insists on bringing for a single overnight stay. Two suitcases, a cooler...make that two coolers, and a crate of her "special" food. Oh, there's also the entire shelf in my refrigerator that she occupied with her vials of drops from her "quack-tor" (I maintain that this guy is NOT a doctor), and her nightstand full of pill bottles. All this for "chronic fatigue syndrome." Whatever that is. Within 5 minutes she had my clean island counter overrun with her things and piles of photographs that 1) I have already seen and/or 2) are of people I don't even fricking know!! While she was getting her photos out I was sitting on the couch painting my toes, using a stool in front of me to hold my things and place my foot. What does she do??? She sticks photos of people I don't know right on the stool where I'm obviously doing something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And she got offended because I asked her to move the pictures. :roll:

And I'm sure you're dying to hear more! Along with the 20 or so sheets of paper that she pulled out of a bag (things she wanted to show me, or things she wanted me to look up for her on the internet) was a copy of my registry that she had printed. Apparently, according to her, I didn't register for the right bouncy seat, and, I also got laid in to about the "Essential Sling" I registered for. The "Essential Sling" is a grab-n-go, over-the-shoulder mini diaper bag. She believed it to be an actual baby sling so I got a grilling of: "Have you tried it?" "You can't just buy one without trying it." "I tired Linda's and I'm going to get one just like it." I asked her why on Earth would she buy a $50 sling for herself, and she said to hold my baby in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :firemad: :WTF: :firemad: Now there's a couple of things wrong with this situation: 1) She doesn't have $50 to spend on a novelty baby item 2) She lives over an hour away and will not be watching our baby on a regular (if at all) basis 3) A sling is a parent's tool. It makes multi-tasking easier for the parents, and it places the baby in a comfortable position on the parent. She WILL NOT be multi-tasking while holding my baby, so there is NO NEED for her to have such a tool. It's just nuts for her to think she needs that. Nuts!!!

Scott, who is normally quite patient with my mom, finally reached the end of his rope with her. There was a tense moment in the car where he actually told her to "Shut the f*ck up" or he would "send her packing." It was uncomfortable, but honestly...required. She just doesn't know when to stop, and even after a display of frustration like that, she doesn't get that maybe she's been doing something to annoy someone. Never, in any situation, has she done something wrong. Scott is very concerned that her behavior is tainting her relationship with her unborn grandchild, and I can't say I disagree with him. I just don't know how to talk to her about it, because she won't get it. She's not one to sit down and have a conversation with, and I don't know what to do. I honestly don't. Scott is already adamant about not letting her wait in the waiting room at the hospital while the baby is being born, but I just don't see how I can do that to her, as much as I also want her to know that things regarding the baby will be on OUR terms.

Why, oh why can't I just have a normal relationship with my mother? Why do I have to always be the responsible adult?

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

My shower is fast approaching, and while I am giddy with excitement :googly:, I am STRESSED OUT about what I am going to wear! I want to be a cute preggo mama for this. :preggo: I was so NOT cute at my bridal shower and I hate looking at those pictures. I don't want to feel the same way about this party and these pictures. So what to wear? I DON'T know! I've shopped and shopped, and I have found nothing suitable. I have one last shot the day before the shower to find something at Motherhood, so please hold out for me, Motherhood! I could really use you right now!!

And speaking of mothers...mine is back to her regular self. No mention whatsoever about what happened with Scott, except to complain about it to my brother. He, like all of us, didn't listen...he knew better. It just bothers me that she can carry on with me as though nothing happened but complain to Dave that "Scott doesn't like her anymore." Now she will probably never ask me again how Scott's doing, what Scott's doing, or anything about him. Instead, she'll pretend he doesn't exist rather than confronting the issue and trying to resolve the problem. It's so her way, and I can't freaking stand it. No wonder she massacres every relationship she has. She ignores it the second there's any problem. Anyhow...I'm nervous about her at the shower. She's just so not pleasant to be around. In some way she will demand attention, and unfortunately it will be negative attention. So embarrassing. I wish Carrin was going to be there to help moderate her conversations, but no love there. I wish Carrin were here for many OTHER reasons too, not just to ease the uneasiness of mom. I miss her, and I hate that she's missing this part of my life. But alas...I love her dearly and she'll be there in spirit!

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

Well, well, well...my journal was bumped to the second page for the first time ever. I guess you could officially call me a slacker! Or, you could call me 35 weeks pregnant, busy, and exhausted! Slacker may be a better, general description, though!!

Not a lot has been going on, and a ton has been going on! I had a baby shower a few weeks ago and everyone definitely showered us with great gifts and plenty of love. So many people are SO excited to meet the baby! Our friends and family were far too generous, and this baby will not be in want of ANYTHING! From the stroller and carseat to washcloths and bath toys, we are most definitely fully stocked. I of course have filled in the gaps with a couple of my own trips to Babies R Us, but I think we are officially done shopping. We even have several pink and several blue outfits hanging in the closet, and it won't be long now until we know which ones to wash and which ones to take back to the store Biggrin

I talked to Carrin last night, and so far it seems that the plan for her in terms of coming for the baby's arrival is to come November 1st and stay through the 21st. I am so excited to see her, and have confidence that she will be here in plenty of time. I have a feeling this baby is going to stay nice a put until 40 weeks and likely beyond. But not too far beyond!

In the area of baby's arrival and going overdue, we had a conversation with the doctor last week and learned that going one week over due is completely acceptable to the doctor, but at one week she would begin to strongly encourage induction. If, for some reason I wanted to wait it out for a second week, I would be required to be in her office every day for two hours monitoring the baby. I know I won't let it go that far, but right now my biggest fear is induction. Since I want to go through labor without an epidural or other pain medication, I think it would be in my best interest NOT to be on pitocin, as well. I know pit contractions can be more intense, and I don't want to add that to the situation.

So our fingers are crossed for a term baby, arriving no sooner than November 2 so Carrin can be here, and no later than a week overdue, with spontaneous labor. Is that too much to ask? Lol

Really all we care for is a healthy baby to come home with us, but we definitely have an ideal way for that all to occur.

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79


Or so...if you count a month as 4 weeks Lol

We had our 36 week appointment yesterday and it was one of the best appointments yet. We had an ultrasound so we got to see our baby, who is nicely positioned with the head down (thank you very much!) and toes tucked up under the chin. I also had my first internal and much to my excitement I am:

:blob5: "Dilated a loose centimeter and 50% effaced!" :blob5:

I realize this means nothing other than my body is preparing for labor, but I can't help but be very excited about my body actually working like it should. Even tiny baby steps toward meeting our baby just thrill me! I'm sure it will be serveral weeks still, and I still have the inkling that I'll be overdue, BUT the doctor did give me something to ponder...she said:

I'm on call this weekend. Maybe you'll break your family history and go early and I'll see you there.

:shock: Now how cool would that be?!?! Highly unlikely, I know...but fun to think about. In all honestly, I want the baby to bake a little longer, but a comment like that can't NOT make the "what-if" wheels spin.

I guess the bottom line is the baby will come when the baby will come, and as of now if looks like my body is gearing up for the baby to come...sometime! So that's good. I want progress...NO INDUCTION PLEASE!

Progress and doctor's comments have Scott feeling a little anxious and excited. At 5:30am this morning when I went to give him a hug he said, "We need to pack the bag tonight." Okay...no problem...I was just surprised those were the first words out of his mouth at 5:30am! It was very sweet, and I love that he is so excited, interested, and involved. So we'll pack the bag tonight, and maybe read the instruction booklet for installing the carseat. Not quite ready to put it in the car, but knowing how to do it wouldn't be a bad idea. I also need to make some labor notes for Scott. I know he'll do a great job supporting me, but it will be useful to both of us to have some notes for ideas when the going gets really tough. Uhg...just realized we have class tonight too. Last one, luckily. They are pretty boring and only slightly informative and take up precious time, so I'm glad it's practically over.

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

Another week, another appointment...but no progress!

Still dilated a loose cenitmeter. She didn't mention the effacement, but I assume it's the same. She did have to reach a bit further this time, and said the cervix is actually behind the baby's head. Which means I'm not having the baby this weekend. I didn't figure I would be, since I really do feel the baby will be overdue, but I was a little discouraged to hear that!

Since the baby's not coming this weekend (or anytime real soon, as she alluded to), I said to Scott right there in the office that he should go to Bend now to sign Chris' papers. That piped up the doctor's ears real quick and she immediately said Scott could go to Bend, but not me. Figures. She was a little humorous about it though, saying, "I know you don't want an interventionist labor, but do you really want to be a pioneer woman having the baby alone on the side of the road?" Lol No, no I don't. So I'll be staying here!

Word has already gotten out about Scott's new job and he hasn't even signed papers yet. He's accepted it, but until the John Hancocks are on the paper, he wasn't telling anyone...except family. But family sometimes fails us, and now the word is out in the golf community. It wouldn't be long until Scott's boss caught wind, so despite wanting to wait, Scott is telling him today. I know he's nervous, and I'm nervous for him. It's a hard thing to do, especially since they have been so good to him. I know they will be supportive and they will appreciate finding out from Scott rather than from a random, gossipy phone call, but it's still a hard thing to do. So good luck today, Scotty!! And let the stress begin! With a baby coming in a few weeks and a move in a few months, we are sure to have a lot on our little plates. But we can do it Biggrin

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

Well...as suspected, no progress for yet another week. Not surprised! I know this baby is going to stay baking for a long time. Hopefully at the longest from today it will be 19 days. That would put me a week overdue on November 15, which is a Wednesday. The doctor is on-call Wednesday nights, so if...in the unfortunate event of an induction, it would be nice to be induced Wednesday morning so she could (more than likely) be present for the delivery. I know an induction can last longer, but she works Thursday days at the office and would be able to run over for delivery. I know it's not imperative, but it would be cool for her to do our delivery. She's also on-call the weekend of the 4th and 5th...so maybe she could deliver us, if we're so lucky, on Nana's birthday. I think that would be cool. And then I wouldn't feel any need to get Nana a gift for her 60th birthday Lol

In celebration of Nana's 60th birthday we are going up to Portland tomorrow for a surprise party for her. I suppose we should take our hopital bag, just in case! I know nothing will happen, but wouldn't it be just our luck that it did and we had to worry about not having any of our stuff with us. Of course the world wouldn't end, but I know I'll want my own things with me while I'm in labor. So the bag is coming.

I've been drinking Red Raspberry Leaf tea and taking Evening Primrose Oil caps for a little over a week now. Futile attempts to start labor, I'm sure, but I like doing something. Biggrin

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

The surprise party was a lot of fun, and NO! we didn't need the labor bag Lol "Still pregnant"...as everyone likes to say lately. My favorite part of the party was doing the Gender/Weight Pool. Eighteen family members and friends made gender and weight predictions...11 boys, 7 girls. Not quite 50/50 but I kept telling everyone that's what their odds were!

Today is Halloween and while I think it would be super cool to have a Halloween baby, it's not happening. I've had a bunch of BH today, but that could be any day, so nothing new in that department. I do have to note that Scott said last night, "I think we're going to have a baby by Sunday." If he's right...I have it on record.

Carrin flies in from Indiana tomorrow morning. I am so stoked for that. She WILL be here for the birth. YAY! She plans on hanging out in Portland for a few days then coming down Friday. Speaking of Friday...That was supposed to be my last day of work but Andy told me yesterday that Thursday will be my last day, but he'll pay me for Friday Biggrin So how awesome is it that I only have to drive to work 2 more times? SWEET!

Joined: 11/28/05
Posts: 79

I suppose my birth story may have its beginning on Friday November 3. I had my 39 week appointment in the afternoon, and while there I asked my doctor to strip my membranes. She said okay, but warned me that I would have bleeding and contractions later that night that most likely wouldn’t lead to labor. Okay, I said…and she stripped my membranes and stretched me to a two. I went home Friday night anticipating some action…but there was none! But I figured as much.

Saturday the 4th was a pretty chill day. My sister and I dropped Scott off at a football game, then she and I went to lunch and ran some errands. I was having very irregular contractions all throughout the day, but I didn’t pay much attention to them. In fact, I thought maybe I was getting sick. Both my sister and her son, who were staying with us, had vomiting and diarrhea so I thought maybe my contrax were just stomach pains from a pending case of the icks.

Scott called me around three to pick him up from the game. The Beavers were winning, it was raining, and he was just standing around drinking beers. On my way there I was having mild contractions about 10-15 minutes apart…but still thought I was just having an upset stomach. These contractions continued for the rest of the day. Around 8:30pm I decided I should try to get some sleep in case things were to pick up. I still had serious doubts at this point. I wasn’t in real pain, and I figured I could be sick or thought maybe these were just the contractions that my doctor had warned me about…the ones that wouldn’t put me in to labor.

Once in bed I couldn’t get a wink of sleep. I was timing my pains and going to the bathroom every 15 minutes or so. I thought I would have diarrhea at any second, but I never did. I was peeing every time I got up, sometimes between every contraction. Scott came to bed around 10:30. He started timing the pains for me. At some point the pains were coming every 4-5 minutes and lasting 30-60 seconds long. Between the hour of 11 and midnight I began to experience true pain. I started to have difficulty breathing through the pain, and tried different positions to deal with it. I still didn’t think I was in labor and just pictured myself showing up at the hospital only to be sent home. I didn’t want to embarrass myself, since my doctor had “warned” me about what stripping my membranes would do. Alas, I decided I would rather go and be sent home than suffer through the night. My sister heard us get up, came to check on us, took one look at me leaning over the footboard swaying my hips and saying “Sh*t, sh*t” and said, “You’re in labor.” I still wasn’t convinced, but we grabbed our stuff and go in the car. It was 1:11am November 5th. The number 11 has strange significance in the Moff family, so when we noticed the time in the car, we looked at each other and didn’t have to say anything other than, “It’s one-eleven.” And then we knew we would be having a baby very soon.

It took us six minutes to get to the hospital. I didn’t have another contraction until 1:17. I again had the doubt that they would send me home. Not close enough, not long enough. We registered in the Emergency Room. I got a contraction and went to the lobby to lean over a chair and sway my hips. I was breathing and concentrating hard, but I heard my name. “Cathi?” I looked up. It was my doctor. She said, “I guess I better go back upstairs.” My doctor was on call, had been called in and was on her way home from a false labor. She did not seem thrilled to see me.

Once I got checked in and in a bed my doctor came in and checked me. “5 centimeters, good bloody show, looks like you’re having a baby today!” HOLY SH*T! It came as a complete surprise, and I was as scared as I have ever been in my life. I was scared of the pain, scared of becoming a mom, scared of everything about to unfold.

While the nurse prepped my IV for the GBS antibiotics and I worked through harder and harder contractions, I began to consider pain medication. It was only every few contractions where I could relax and breathe through the pain like I was supposed to, and the others were living hell. I couldn’t grab on to the bed rail tight enough, or push my feet against the end bar hard enough. I wanted to be in water, but it would take 30 minutes to fill above the jets and I just didn’t have that sort of time horizon. After the IV was in (2 tries…terrible wait, but some of my best contrax because I knew I had to relax) I asked the nurse to call the anesthesiologist. I think it took him about 45 minutes to get there and I did my thing through those contractions, hoping for any second to see the nice man walk in the room! Scott helped me through that wait and rubbed my back like the champ that he is, and helped me breathe. I worked through three contractions while getting the epidural, and did great. At that point, I wondered if I had made the right decision, because I was doing better. I had gained focus. But that could have been very short lived focus because I knew I wouldn’t need it for much longer. One thing I am disappointed about is that I didn’t ask to be checked before the epidural. I only got checked about an hour after, so at like 4am (guessing at this point…I lost all track of time) and was 8cm. I’ll never know if I was 8 before I got it and only had two more to go…but my guess—as well as the nurse and doctor’s—is that I was 8 and almost ready to go before I got it.

Luckily the epidural didn’t slow things down. I was checked again around 6am and was complete and at +1 station! The nurse had to wake the doctor and also get ready for a shift change, so just before 7am I met my new nurse. My labor nurse was wanting to stay to see if we were having a boy or a girl, but since I didn’t have the urge to push they were guessing it would be about 2 hours of pushing and she didn’t want to stick around for that. The new nurse considered letting me “labor down” (wait for the urge) but I declined and said I would try now. I felt so motivated! So the first nurse left, Scott and the new nurse walked me through one contraction and three pushes and there was the baby’s head! I could see it in the mirror! I was ordered not to push, the doctor was paged and about 35 minutes and 7 contractions later sweet little Macy Louise was born!

As we had asked, the doctor caught her, and Scott and I got to find out together, with our own eyes, that the sweet baby we had been waiting for all these months was our little girl! I completely lost all sense of my surroundings when she placed Macy on my tummy and I got to hold her, touch her and kiss her for the first time. It was, no doubt, the greatest surprise and best moment of my life and every tear that came from my eyes was a tear of sheer joy and true and utter bliss. I will never forget it.

And now for the gruesome details! On the second to last contraction the doctor told me I was going to tear. In fact, she could see that the muscle already tore underneath and the skin would tear with the next push. She said it would be small and she could either cut me or just let it tear. I chose to tear because I was too scared of a full on rectal rip from the episiotomy. The tear ended up not being too bad. I think I have about 4 stitches…BUT I tore towards the front too! At the time I didn’t know the difference, but now when I pee it burns like a mother. There are no other stitches up there or anything, I guess it will just heal on its own. So now when I pee I have to use that lovely bottle to wash away the urine right away so it doesn’t get on the tear as bad. And thank heaven and earth for Dermoplast spray! The doctor thinks had I not had the epidural I would have pushed so fast that I would have had, in her words, "a full blow out." Ouch.