Well, since it is spicy (hot) and has a picture of a rooster on it, we call it....um....Hot C*#k sauce.....not in front of T though! LOL It's a leftover from when DH lived with a bunch of boys that made gross jokes all of the time. LOL
No, luckily I got my ricotta from King Soopers. Scary about the listeria!!!!
I'll have to ask DH what cut of pork he uses. When I make it, I use ground turkey, but pork is better.
I emailed the seller and they said that ... well they said a lot of things, the main one being, "Oh well" basically. I *know* I'm being paranoid here, but.. except for m/s and sore boobies, I wouldn't know I'm pregnant. I know my other two appts went well but in the back of my mind, I just keep thinking...what if the baby died in there and I just haven't miscarried yet? I know thats a horrible thought. I try not to think about it, I'm not bleeding or anything, but..it creeps in from time to time. That's why I really want that doppler. I NEED reassurance. I know I may not be able to find the heartbeat yet, but I'm going to try and try and try. And then probably get paranoid that I can't hear it because there's nothing TO hear.
I don't have a doc appt for another two weeks and it's not an u/s or anything special. I'm actually not sure what it's for, she said just a check up. The appt after that I get to get tested for diabetes. That sounds like stellar fun! I've stopped doing a lot of things for this baby - but I can not just drop caffeine. I'm a mountain dew junkie. I have definitely LESSENED the amount I drink. I see the amount you're supposed to keep it under is 200mg a day... and I'm right around that. I've stopped drinking my 5 hr energy (even though, they have Folic Acid in them!) and stopped drinking my Monsters and alcohol (I didn't drink them together) and stopped smoking.. and I just..for some reason.. can't realistically think that everything is going to be okay. I'm a pessimist by nature.
Sorry for being so down. I was left alone to my thoughts, not a good thing
Alissa, LOL!!! I figured it had something to do with the um...rooster on the bottle. LOL
Jessica, What a BS seller. I would leave negative feedback. S/He's an Ebay seller, right? I hope the doppler shows up today. I'm sorry you're having negative thoughts. It's perfectly normal to feel those feelings and have those thoughts after you've been through a loss. Heck, I know women that have never been through a loss that have those thoughts and feeling. (((hugs))) The fact that you're not spotting and that you're deathly sick IS a good sign. Though, I'm sure you're sick of hearing people tell you that. I would call your OB or nurse about the NT scan. 13 weeks is perfect timing for the Scan and blood test.
AFM, I freaking passed out early last night. I think I fell asleep around 10pm! I must have been really tired. I didn't even brush my teeth or anything.
It's been raining here non-stop since yesterday afternoon. I love it. If I wasn't scared of the West Nile virus, I would open up these french doors next to my desk and enjoy the damp rainy air. I love rain so much. I feel like going for a walk in the rain. I might grab an umbrella later and stroll around the neighborhood with my pooch. I'm sure he's going to be pissed though. He hates getting wet. lol
Jessica - I agree with Jina; I think it is normal to be especially nervous after a loss. Even women who have never experienced loss feel nervous and unsure, especially during the first trimester. IME, the first trimester is absolutely the hardest trimester. I know some women are very physically uncomfortable later in pregnancy (I was lucky with T and pretty much felt great the whole time after m/s passed, knock on wood!) but I found the uncertainty of the first trimester to be far more unnerving than any of the physical discomfort of later pregnancy. Once you start to feel the baby move, it's a lot easier to believe that everything is fine (although that is a double edged sword too because sometimes you don't feel them move and that can be scary too.) We are almost out of the first twelve weeks! I hope that after this last home stretch is over for us, we can both really relax into enjoying our pregnancies.
I'm with Jina - I would be FURIOUS (!) if the seller said basically "Oh well" on not actually getting the expedited shipping you requested. I wonder if they even bothered paying USPS for expedited shipping, or if they just took your money and then figured that you wouldn't do anything if you got it in 3 days instead of 1. Do I sound paranoid? LOL!!!!
Jina - Yay for rain! I like it too; it cools everything off so nicely. Haha, I laughed about your dog not liking rain. My dog hates it too. She will pee on the deck so she can come right back in unless you chase her off when it is raining.
I remember that from when I was pregnant with T, being so tired some nights that I couldn't even wait to brush my teeth or anything before I collapsed in bed. One of my close friends actually did that so often when she was pregnant with her first that she ended up getting cavities!
AFM - I have a busy couple of days ahead of me! Last night I made the lasagna and salad for my MIL's birthday, so tonight we are heading over there for dinner. Tomorrow my mom and I are taking T to Manitou Springs, and then Sunday we have a big family dinner. Busy! What does everyone else have going on?
Jina, I hope it shows up today too. I checked the shipping, it got to my post office this morning at 8:19. The post office is about 3 blocks from here and like I said before, the mail doesn't run until about 2 so I really hope it comes. That's funny about your dog. One of my dogs could really care less about the rain and if I took him for a walk, he'd be excited just to be with me. He's such a sweet boy. My little girl is very vain, she doesn't want to be in the rain. Her name is JoJo, but we call her princess around here..lol.
Alissa, sounds like you have a busy weekend! But it sounds all fun, too. I hope you have a great time with T and your mom... that sounds like a good time just waiting to happen
AFM, I started crying at work today. My boss at MY store texted me and told me that the district manager wants me to stay at the store I'm at for another week. No one bothered to ask me if it was okay. And it's NOT okay. I did it as a favor and now they're just using me and I hate it. I wouldn't even mind staying if I was training someone to take the position, but they don't have anyone and the girl that applied for it that I knew - her interview apparently didn't go very well. I'm in the back of the store, so I went outside and just cried...out of self pity. A vendor came by, one I've known for a long long time and he helped me feel better. DH is mad that they are taking advantage of me, but I can't *seriously* say no. So, tomorrow I work a half a day and then I'm off Sunday. I need to clean the house, my clothes are scattered all through the house. I know it's my little girl dog, she loves to grab whatever is close like it's a toy...and then she drops it, bored with it, wherever she pleases. Like I said, she's a princess. I think DH is working this weekend, so I'll probably spend most of it just relaxing on the couch. Oh! mailman just came. See ya!
Okay well.. I THINK I heard it. Alissa, I remembered you saying a swishing sound was the placenta and I heard that...so I focused in right there..and I heard a heartbeat, but it wasn't a beat...it more a ..swooshing sound. And not moving as fast as I'd like. The machine I have counts the beats, but it wasn't catching everyone. Baby seems to be located on the right-er side..underneath a fat roll..LOL
Jessica - I understand how you are feeling. I've had my doppler for like two weeks now, and I'm not always sure if I am listening to the baby's heartbeat or my own. Dopplers are nice, but over all I wouldn't say that I found it to be the end all be all, which is why I only bother listening every couple of days. But I will also say that it gets easier with practice. After a while your ears kind of learn what is what in there, although frankly it's all just different patterns of static. My suggestion would be to walk away for a while if you can't find anything in there. I know that's hard because you want to reassure yourself, but I remember reading that even experienced midwives often struggle to find a hb on doppler before about 16 weeks, so don't let it get you down.
I had it swishing and was examining my wrist for the pulse and they were exactly the same. Which is kinda good I guess because it was WAY too slow to be baby. I hear the "wind tunnel" sound is the placenta and the placenta actually has your pulse, which makes me think I was close, but I never found it.
I haven't lost hope, I know it's hard to find and even harder for bigger people... so.. I'll try it again later. Not tomorrow, but maybe next week sometime. When it grows to another piece of fruit.
I AM kinda bummed however, that would have been really reassuring to me.
Sooo.. a couple things...
1. A vendor came in today looking extremely stressed. He talked with another vendor and then a spider fell down from the ceiling and I started screaming - so I didn't know what he was stressed about. He came in a little later and told me thank you for taking his mind off of everything. (He had said to the other vendor that he didn't have email and I said who needs email? All I ever get are enhance your penis emails?..that made him bust out laughing). I said no problem.. he got this sad look on his face. I stopped him, said I know your company wants you to cut your hair and I think that's stupid. (He's worked there for four years with the same hair - he has dreadlocks - and only today he was told if he doesn't get it cut then he's fired). He shook his head, said that wasn't it.. took a deep breath... said his girl was in the hospital and she was 5cm dilated. I was like oh wow!!! Congrats!! He said no, she's only 4 months pregnant. I felt so horrible for him. I told him there's a drug you can get, a shot I think, that will stop her from going into labor and he said her insurance won't cover it. That is so sad. I wanted to hug him, but I didn't think that would be appropriate, but .. I *know* how heartbreaking a m/c is. I wish there was something I could do for him.
2. Is anyone worried about December 21st? The day the world is supposed to... do ....something. I'm not, but I am. Does that make sense? I'm going to be 5 months pregnant and waddling away from whatever bad happens probably won't be fun. But a lot of bad stuff has been predicted in the past and so far (knock on wood) none of it has happened.
3. I might have plans with a friend tomorrow. WOOT! I only have friends every now and then..LOL