I thought this would be easier...

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Maddz's picture
Joined: 08/17/07
Posts: 1759
I thought this would be easier...

I was so anxious to get pregnant again. And I am happy I am. But I have been so sad. I have been bawling about Kamdyn a lot. I was 16 and Pregnant and bawl and bawl. My precious angel has been gone 4 months now. He was supposed to come this month. I miss him. I got through these phases of feeling like it didn't happen and then it hits hard again. I worry about trying to hold my new baby. I am worried that this new baby won't come. Last time I told myself all the m/s is worth it because you get a baby in the end, people try to say that now but it's hard to feel like that is the truth.

Just really struggling ...

Maddz's picture
Joined: 08/17/07
Posts: 1759

I have been crying at least 2x daily all week. Sad

Audgee's picture
Joined: 08/24/05
Posts: 305

Try not to beat yourself up about being sad.....I am coming up on 4 years since I lost my DD and I still cry just about everyday at some point.

Some times of year it is worse then others, and that's okay - the added hormones are probably not helping things for sure, but this is still very fresh for you.....this new baby isn't ever going to replace Kamdyn.....for me I feel like the reason that I had a boy after I lost my DD, was because I wasn't "ready" for it have been a girl - silly maybe, but that's how I feel......so maybe this will be a little girl you are having now to bring a new kind of joy into your life, to help heal from losing Kamdyn

Maddz's picture
Joined: 08/17/07
Posts: 1759

Thanks for your reply. It really helped. I wonder if mine is going to be a girl.... I am definitely nervous and excited. The last few days have a bit a little bit easier which is good. I am still very sensitive. I was trying to read the May board.. but have decided that I'm not ready to hear all the birth stories.. And that's ok.

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