Scared and bummed UPDATE with details post 5

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Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427
Scared and bummed UPDATE with details post 5

Hey Ladies, Sorry, I know that I'm such a roller coaster. One minute everything is great, the next minute I'm scared out of my mind. I just need to get this off my chest, and don't really have anyone else I feel like I can talk to about it. Yesterday I started having a little bit of red spotting. Only twice, a little bit when I wiped, but enough to scare me. I have started having it again this afternoon, despite my best efforts to take it easy and stay still (as if that could prevent a m/c anyway...maybe if I just don't move....) I called my dr, and they are having me come in for another u/s today at 3:30 (it's a little after 2:30 now, so I will be leaving in about 15 minutes.) I'm trying not to freak...it's just the SH, right? Right?!? But it's moments like these where it feels so incredibly hopeless, like there is simply no way that it's not bad news. This is exactly how it was with my previous two losses...spotting at 6 weeks, saw the heartbeat, but still had a missed miscarriage by 8 weeks. I feel like no matter what I do, it's just going to end the same way, and no one can give me a totally clear answer about why, because it's like there are so many reasons why. And as far as I know, we're addressing all of them as best we can, but even so. Sorry, I am just super super bummed right now. I just keep promising myself that no matter what happens, I won't ever have to go through this again. If we have the baby, we're done, if we have the m/c we're done. This is the last time. I can't keep going through this.

JKfmAustin's picture
Joined: 12/07/10
Posts: 2419

Oh Alissa, I'm so sorry! ((((((HUGS))))))) I am going to keep everything crossed that it's just the SH. I'm glad you called your OB and he's having you come in for an U/S. I spotted with this pregnancy and I freaked out. I had also lost my pregnancy symptoms too so I was convinced that it was all over. I went in for an emergency u/s and everything turned out to be fine. I know nothing I can say will really make you feel better and that really stinks. I wish there was something I could do. Please KUP asap!!! Remember that there IS a reason for the spotting. You have a SH. It's not like you're bleeding just out of the blue...you know? Ugh! I wish PGAL was easier. It seems like the first trimester is a nightmare for those of us that have had losses. ((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))) Please know that we're always here for you anytime you need to vent or talk.

Clarkton's picture
Joined: 01/07/08
Posts: 1972

Oh no! I'm sorry to hear you are going through this again. Sad

I think it is totally likely the cause is the SCH and you may have this occur off and on for a few weeks yet. I know I've seen it happen that way for many ladies on the birth boards and they still went on to have healthy babies. I have everything crossed that will happen for you too. I hope you are getting some very reassuring news right now. Can't wait to hear how it goes. Thinking of you :comfort:

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6545

Oh Alissa. I am so sorry you are going through this. I am very confident that everything is just fine, I know that does not help your worry though.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Edit: Oh my gosh, I am so relieved! Saw baby, and baby is great. HB is up to 152 bpm, and everything looks perfect. AND she said that even though that stupid SCH is still giving me fits, it is shrinking!!! They didn't have time to compare last time I was there, but she pulled the numbers together this time, and it's definitely healing. At my first u/s it was 1.88cm. At my last one on Monday, it was 1.3cm, and today it was measuring at 1cm. It's shrining! Maybe it will finally go away soon and stop making me crazy.

Baby has an identifiable head and arm buds that I got to see on the u/s. Soooo glad they had me come in to put my mind at ease.

Joined: 10/02/11
Posts: 1937

yay! Yes, you are a roller coaster of feelings, but aren't we all? I'm so glad everything turned out okay for you! Here's hoping your SH goes away and stops causing you crazy moments.

Yahoo

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6545

Yay! I am going to make an official girl guess with that heartbeat.

Clarkton's picture
Joined: 01/07/08
Posts: 1972

Yahoo So glad to see this happy update! I hope you are able to be worry free or at least at a lower worry level for a while. Smile

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Thanks ladies! That definitely took my tension level down many many notches. I'm sorry I keep freaking out, but...you ladies know....unfortunately it's hard to relax after a loss. *wipes sweat off forehead*

Clarkton's picture
Joined: 01/07/08
Posts: 1972

"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

Thanks ladies! That definitely took my tension level down many many notches. I'm sorry I keep freaking out, but...you ladies know....unfortunately it's hard to relax after a loss. *wipes sweat off forehead*

It's nearly impossible not to. We totally get it :bighug:

DannyT's picture
Joined: 09/11/11
Posts: 881

Alissa - so glad it was good news!!!

Joined: 10/02/11
Posts: 1937

No need to apologize, we all understand. We all do it. Even though I just saw a healthy bean, my next ultrasound (which is on the ....29th?) I'm gonna be freakin out..

JKfmAustin's picture
Joined: 12/07/10
Posts: 2419

"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

Thanks ladies! That definitely took my tension level down many many notches. I'm sorry I keep freaking out, but...you ladies know....unfortunately it's hard to relax after a loss. *wipes sweat off forehead*

Yay!!!! Soooo happy for you!!!! I was checking for an update at he dealership earlier and was so happy when I read your update!!! Yahoo

We totally understand. I had total meltdowns too especially in the early 1st trimester. I actually stayed away from PO altogether until I was 8 weeks or so.

AkMomma07's picture
Joined: 07/04/07
Posts: 1159

I'm so relieved to read your update! I am still thinking healthy, sticky thoughts like crazy! That is wonderful that your SCH is shrinking! Woot! (((hugs)))

Joined: 08/08/12
Posts: 36

Reading the thread all the way down until I saw an update! I was getting super worried for you. SUPER HAPPY that all is well

girlisrad's picture
Joined: 04/24/07
Posts: 1587

:lurk:

SO SO SO HAPPY!!!!

Maybe, on Wed? I make an omelet on honor of your extra awesome US Smile You name the ingredients, I make it!!! Whatdasay?

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Oh my gosh yes!!! Biggrin :D Biggrin

By the way, it is very appropriate that I just read this, as I am currently eating breakfast while I surf the net. My breakfast is....you guessed it! An omelet (just plain old ham and cheese though!) Biggrin

Lessee....for my extra special Wednesday Confirms That Baby is OK omelet, how about.....Oooh, I know! I have been wanting to try a fried rice omelet (basically just make some homemade fried rice and then stuff it in an omelet.) I heard that is really good. Wanna give it a try for me? Biggrin

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