I just wanted an ultrasound of a baby that was the same gestation as Kamdyn... It really hit a spot. I haven't watched any ultrasounds of a pregnancy that far since before I lost him... It's still really hard...
On Sunday I found myself wearing the sweater I wore the day his heart stopped. I hadn't put in on since then.. and I realized it later and it struck a note.
Sometimes things hurt and are upsetting. I can't cry about it really.. I'm just... down about it.
There are going to be triggers for a long time, and I think as hard as the triggers are it helps in our healing. I had bought Robbie a big brother t-shirt to tell him that a new baby was on the way. He wanted to wear it daily. After Bailey was gone he hid the shirt away as it hurt too much. One day I noticed him wearing it again. He said that wearing it now made him feel better. Out of the mouths of babe.