BTDT moms: How did you prepare you older kiddos for the newcomers

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eg4cg's picture
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BTDT moms: How did you prepare you older kiddos for the newcomers

My dd will be 17 or 18 months when these 2 show up. How do I get her ready for the new babies arrival?

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I'm interested in this too. My DS will be just shy of 3.

Tips? Hints?

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I was constantly tellin DS that there wad babies in my belly and had him hug and kiss the baby.belly. we always talked about him.being a big brother, he seemed to like them but granted they aren't home yet. But he talks about his brother now that we are home.

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My kids were older, 5 and 7 when the twins were born, but to prepare my daughter when ds was born we talked about it a lot (she was almost 2.5). And then I ended up on bedrest for 5wks and then hospital bedrest for a week, and prep went out the window. Smile And then he came home and she loved him, and then after that first month, every time I nursed him she would yell, "Put Tuckah down!". And then I bought a special toy and called it her special big sister toy, something I knew would hold her attention, and we only brought it out during baby feeding time. As soon as baby finished feeding, we put it back, often she was sad, but then she looked fwd to baby feeding time so she could have it again. It seriously worked wonders, and after a month or so when she was more adjusted I told her she was such a good big sister she could have it all the time.

I know many moms will make a nursing basket, stocked with toys, coloring books, books to read, etc, and same thing, only bring it out when feeding babies. With twins you probably won't have any free hands to help them, so get mostly autonomous things.

Good luck! Smile

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"rachelrazzle" wrote:

And then I bought a special toy and called it her special big sister toy, something I knew would hold her attention, and we only brought it out during baby feeding time. As soon as baby finished feeding, we put it back, often she was sad, but then she looked fwd to baby feeding time so she could have it again.

Rachel, I don't have other kids, but this is GENIUS!

(And I always suspected raising babies was an awful lot like taking care of dogs. This reminds me of taking out the uber-exciting peanut butter filled Kong toy to keep a pup occupied when they're first left alone. haha)

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I involved my DD1 in everything to do with the babies (doc appt. u/s) so she felt like they were her babies, too. And her and I would practice feeding and changing her babies. So now that the babies are here, she feels more involved and wants to help with everything.

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I think preparing a child that young will be very hard. I think the important part will be finding things to keep the young one busy when you are busy with the twins.

My DS was almost 6 when the girls were born. He was as prepared as we could make him. We took him to a sibling class, we discussed how needy babies are, and we involved him as soon as possible after they were born. The reality of twins was still a major shock for him though. He felt very left out in the beginning. He still does. He loves his sisters and he is so great with them. He told me the other day that he thought I loved his sisters more because they are cuter than he is now. Sad We had to talk about how he holds a special place him my heart since he was the first born and how I love all of them equally. However, I also know that with him being so independent, I have to be careful to include him often and take time just to play with him.

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Mel, I have heard similar things from my kiddos as well. In the first year they each said separately that they wished they were sick or had a broken bone so I would pay more attention to them. It broke my heart. It did help me make a better effort to spend more quality time with them, but it is so hard with twins to make time for the older kids.

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Thanks ladies for all the suggestions...

Rachel the "special toy" idea is killer !!

(even though it may kill us) dh and I have decided to sign up dd for 2 classes once the babies get here, one to do with mom and one with dad so she gets "special time" too... i just hope we will have enough energy for that. :eek::eek:

we are currently thinking about a gym style class, a swim class, or a language class.

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Are you planning on doing dd's mom/dad classes simultaneously? I would recommend consecutively, because time is going to be so short. Smile

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"rachelrazzle" wrote:

Are you planning on doing dd's mom/dad classes simultaneously? I would recommend consecutively, because time is going to be so short. Smile

Yes, this! Time really is short once the twins arrive. I would suggest doing it consecutively as well.

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They will be consecutively, it just happens to be the way classes line up... I am glad now though, enough time will be in very short supply Smile