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isuche02's picture
Last seen: 4 years 3 months ago
Joined: 10/08/08
Posts: 1122

I feel like I have hit a brick wall - physically. Being so exhausted, not mobil, and dependent upon others is screwing with my mind/emotions too. I feel depression is right around the corner. I don't know how I am going to make it another 4 - 5 weeks like this.......

Last seen: 5 years 5 months ago
Joined: 08/28/10
Posts: 392

I was *just* where you are. Felt so hopeless and depressed with a seemingly long stretch of time ahead of me before relief would come.

When every day is such a struggle, it's hard to imagine getting through that many weeks.

But you can!

Rest, take baths, make a daily routine for yourself and the days will go by faster. I would rest in the morning, have lunch, take a bath, then a nap, and then it was late afternoon. No one can possibly expect much more from you from here on in.

One thing to keep in the forefront of your mind is, that with every week that passes, babies are bigger and healthier. And every day you make it now is another day they won't be in the NICU. Celebrate each week you make it to, and strive to get to the next one. You will be so glad you did when you have two healthy babies in your arms.

And you will feel sooooo good when they're out!

bamsmom's picture
Last seen: 3 years 11 months ago
Joined: 05/05/07
Posts: 1635

Lindsey you said it great! Jennie you are doing wonderfully! Those boys are growing bigger stronger and healthier every single day and YOU are making this possible for them!
Last weekend I posted that I felt like I was slowing down, but thankfully I think it was more of a bump in the road and I was gettign sick as this past weekend I did great and felt great. I know that I will be in your shoes soon and you will be in Lindsey's shoes. We must remember this too shall pass and we are all here for you for moral support :bigarmhug:

isuche02's picture
Last seen: 4 years 3 months ago
Joined: 10/08/08
Posts: 1122

Thanks for the encouragement ladies. I appreciate it.

Flourish's picture
Last seen: 3 years 6 months ago
Joined: 03/08/10
Posts: 154

As someone who's suffered from depression for many years - I know how it goes. It is hard, but you are doing a wonderful thing. Resting and sleeping are the best things you can do for those babies right now.

Find something you can do while resting that is fun. I liked doing word puzzles in bed, and I also watched entire series' of shows that I like. This is the last time you are going to have this freedom, so look at it that way! Watch what you want, eat any time you want, knit, crochet, work on projects you won't be able to when the twins are here. Just do things that you can do sitting or reclined (or lying down, if you have to). Keep your mind busy, read, listen to music, anything that will distract you. It doesn't have to distract you completely, just enough so you can relax and rub your belly and know that your babies are happy and healthy in there :vibes:

Just a few more weeks! You'll get through :giveflower:

KittenChops's picture
Last seen: 4 years 7 months ago
Joined: 04/18/08
Posts: 201

Oh girlie, I know how you feel. It wasn't so bad with this last pregnancy, but when I was pregnant with Tira and Chase I was absolutely miserable. I have no idea why I was so miserable with them and delivered them at 34wks, but I was able to make it to over 37wks with this last pregnancy much easier. Sometimes I wonder if the position of the babies has anything to do with it, kwim?

I will say this though, I know you are miserable and probably don't want to hear it. But try to remain positive about your pregnancy and not focus on what is bothering you. Instead, try to focus on the wonderful thing you are doing for your babies, letting them bake inside for as long as possible so they are born healthy and strong. That's what I did with this last pregnancy. I was determined to make it farther than with my first twin pregnancy and I think having a more positive attitude about the pregnancy kept my stress down and allowed me to keep the babies in longer. I have experienced both a twin birth that ended up with babies in the NICU, and a twin birth where my babies were able to come home with me when I left the hospital. And it's so, SOOOOOO much better being able to take them home with you. Leaving them at the hospital is heartbreaking.

Another thing that helped me with this last pregnancy was the fact that this was my last pregnancy. So as miserable as I was, I did my best to try to enjoy every little bit of it because I knew this was the last time I would ever feel babies kicking inside me.

(((hugs))) It seems far away, but it will be over with soon. Hang in there!

3-o-me's picture
Last seen: 4 years 7 months ago
Joined: 12/28/10
Posts: 306

I'm right with you. You should read my post in Aug. '11 re: depression - there is some good advice there. My dr reminded me today every day they are with me is equal to 2 NICU days they won't have. I'm personally trying to make it literally one day at a time. We can do this!!

Hugs to you!

turtnjay's picture
Last seen: 4 years 1 month ago
Joined: 02/24/09
Posts: 2095

I'm not sure what your doc gas said or how immobile you are but could you invest in a walker with a seat? You can then wheel around using your legs while you sit on the seat. It could help get you out of the house for a small walk.

Good luck, dear, it will get better, and I hope you can find ways to help alleviate the feelings and 'get back to normal'.

Last seen: 4 years 10 months ago
Joined: 04/07/11
Posts: 194


I totally relate--although I am so much earlier in pregnancy than you are--it is part of the reason that I don't post very much. Being on bed rest--even modified--for almost 10 weeks now is very depressing for me. Especially since I am not even near viability yet, so my fears are still very high.

I agree with all the suggestions the other ladies have offered. Remember that your primary job right now is to incubate and bake those LO's as long as really are in the final stretch now. Set yourself a schedule, small goals for the day....find small ways to be productive (that helps me--seems silly, but even folding loads of laundry while in bed or on the couch help me feel "useful" and not so dependent). Do things you enjoy---read, puzzles, tv series, knit, etc.

And don't be too hard on yourself. You are doing an amazing thing....hang in there.:bigarmhug:

Last seen: 2 years 10 months ago
Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

Hugs! It is hard, and I got so tired of people telling me, "I'd love to be able to lay around for a few days." I am sure they were trying to be funny, but when you don't really have a choice, those kind of statements are maddening. And it was super hard having others do for me, and my older children. I hated not being able to mother my older children. But... as others said, each day inside of you is 2 days less in the NICU, and it is awesome to bring the babies home with you.

To keep myself busy I watched lots of tv, read books, played on the DS, laptop, and so forth. I tried to vary things because each got boring after maybe an hour. I won't say I didn't cry a lot, but we made it through. You are doing awesome for those babies, and vent anytime, most of us have been there! Smile

Last seen: 9 months 2 days ago
Joined: 04/10/11
Posts: 1703

Jennie, I'm so sorry. It sounds rough having to wait around for those babies to get ready for the world! I can't imagine.

I do, however, know about lying around for weeks on end and having to rely on other people after having a spine surgery last year. Like everyone has suggested, have a list of things you can do and rotate through them often. A great friend of mine thought to send a care package of random silly things (a kazoo, mini-puzzles, shrinky-dinks, etc.) that gave me a laugh for a day. Probably my best day was when I invited friends over, ordered pizza, and we made shrinky dinks. So ridiculous, but it was something different that didn't involve the TV/computer for once!

Keep fattening up those babies -- you're doing great!