I'm a freakin' mess, you guys. In no particular order...
- My boyfriend's sister came over and left her trash on the counter for me to clean up. Not a big deal except that I have decided that ONLY thing I am willing/able to do at this point is feed and clean up after my dog.
- My dog is dying of lymphoma and I couldn't give him chemotherapy because it would have depleted my bank account before having twins and because I wouldn't have been able to take care of him (even picking up poop) during his treatment because of the drugs, again because of this whole twins thing. He has had a longer-than-expected remission on steroids and now I have to ask the OB's permission to break this bedrest thing to go with him to the vet when that comes and I can't think about it.
- My boyfriend is a math teacher and his entire extended family and neighborhood in general is still calling him at all hours for help. He spent three hours last night helping some community college moron who is still in PRE-ALGEBRA. I'm sorry, at that point your *** needs to give up on school and you need to learn a trade that doesn't involve academic smarts. I feel completely overwhelmed and terrible all week long that my boyfriend is the only one working and then on top of it he has to do everything for me. There's always more milk to buy, there's always more trash to take out. I need to see that my boyfriend has relaxed for a couple of hours before I make him do everything else for me on the weekend.
So sorry Sheila....especially about your dog. Pets can mean so much to us. I am glad to hear that he is having an extended remission period...I hope that you get as long as possible with him.
Being on bedrest is always so difficult---I struggle with feeling guilty about all that DH has to do as well. But try to remember it is short-term...as well as all the PHYSICAL things that you are dealing with your body. You are doing your best to bake these LO's as long as possible and that is an important and NOT EASY job. I sometimes wonder if it is because I am so "old" but I think at least a part of it is due to the twins. I haven't slept well in months. I ache, pee constantly, swollen feet, etc. I try my best to be appreciative of DH and sometimes that is one of the best things you can do. Let your boyfriend know how much you appreciate what he is doing--and as you said, make sure he gets some time to relax.
Regarding everyone asking him for help at all hours--does he mind? Is he having trouble setting limits? I think now would be a good time, because after you have twins you are DEFINITELY not going to want those all day/night calls.
I hope that the rest of your weekend turns out better....
Awww, I'm sorry about your dog. *hugs*
I hear you about the stresses on your SO. My husband is working full time and just started back at school full time so he's got that and most of the housework (I'm not doing laundry or dishes at this point, I never do when I'm pregnant for a lot of reasons) and trying to keep me sane and off bedrest and he watches our boys when I go shopping so I don't have to take them and he's got loads of homework and I feel SO badly for him and want to help him relax and stuff and life can just be ridiculously stressful sometimes.
I hope you have more positive days. *hug*
I am sorry about your dog.
As for your DH, I agree that it is probably time to set some limits. He will need them when those babies come.
I will say that I know it is your frustration talking, but just because someone is having difficulty in one area, it doesn't mean they should learn a trade or decide college isn't the right path. There are a lot of careers out there were math isn't as necessary as others.
Hugs! I'm glad you dog is in remission right now, losing a pet is always hard.
Definitely remind bf if there are not limits now, there will need to be very soon!
and yes, bedrest does a number on the mind, makes you feel so guilty. My dh was working full time, thankfully often from home, and packing lunches and getting kids ready for school and coming home and doing it all, and then I went on hospital bedrest and it got even worse. It was super stressful on both of us, and when I look back it makes me sad how stressed we all were and how hard it was on my older kids, but at the same time I look at those two perfect little boys and realize they easily could have had nicu and lasting health problems from an early delivery. So I try not to dwell on the negatives too much, but even almost two years later, it is still right in the forefront of my memory.
Rachel, momma to 4
dd 9, ds 7, twin boys Dec 09
I nursed my twins for 2years and 2 weeks! A little sad to be all done now.