GYAH!! Okay, so I found out I'm having twins last Wed at the END of my appt so I could barely talk to my dr about it and now I'm wishing I had had more time.
I see a group of CNM's since I didn't like my "medical" natural birth with my oldest (don't threaten me with stuff I don't need when I'm doing just fine, thanks) while seeing an OB/GYN and as soon as I found out there were two of 'em I turned to MK (midwife) and asked if I could still see them. She said something like "yes, but you have to see the MFM dr's for backup". That made me think I could deliver with them.
I can't. I had someone mention laws to me earlier and I did some research and called a good friend of mine and found out that in Utah the CNMs can't attend a twin birth, the second I go into labor they have to turn me over to the MFM group.
I've REEEEEEEALLY wanted another natural birth with this pregnancy, but the more I look into it, the less likely it's looking. Very few docs will do vaginal twin births in the state and I'm feeling mildly picked on. I know I need to go in and talk to the midwives, I called and asked who was in the office the day of my next app (Oct 11, also my u/s) and it's actually the most senior midwife along with a colleague of hers, but I have it in my chart that I want to see the Sr one now.
So now I'm trying not to freak out about it.... I've had nightmares about C sections for years. I know they aren't all bad, but I'm still really upset about the turn of events.
I'm also concerned since I've had preterm labor with all three previous pregnancies. My second came nearly a month early and I'm concerned about these kids making it to term/maturity. So I don't want to just say screw it all and go get a lay midwife (which has crossed my mind) in case I end up with babies in distress and need a C section. As much as I'm pro natural, I do understand there are valid medical reasons for needing a C, it just freaks me out and I never thought I'd be staring down the possibility. Anyway, I know I want to still see someone in a hospital because of my history and concerns, I was just hoping to find someone to help me with a vaginal, trial at least, birth.
Anyway, thanks for letting me just rant/vent.