can I vent, guys? (long and OT)

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captainswife's picture
Joined: 11/25/07
Posts: 2687
can I vent, guys? (long and OT)

(e.t.a no that I've typed it all out it's meeeeeeeeega long...don't feel obligated to read it all...It will probably help me just to type this out and get it off my chest)'s nothing huge but for some reason this person bothers me SO much and I can literally feel my stomach churning thinking about having to deal with them later.

So one of our daycare parents is just severely getting on my nerves lately. The other day he really crossed the line with me when he started reading a letter of MINE from my friend who he does not know. He just picked it up and started taking it out of the opened envelope in our house and I'm like "oh that's mine." He starts unfolding the letter...then I go "I mean off my friend...a personal letter..." and hold my hand out...he starts reading it aloud! He gets about two lines in and I just walk up, take it away, and leave Wayne to say the goodbyes to him and his son. I was so annoyed.

So yesterday his son (who Wayne and I adore) needs some cough stuff after lunch..his dad says this and then rushes out (he can be really ignorant and talk and talk and talk and then ignores the other person and walks off when he's finished. So I shrugged him off when he had gone and I look in his bag since his son is always on something thinking he meant cough candies or something like he always has...he has just a plain old oral syringe with no label, instructions, anything, just sat in his bag with the medicine already loaded in...
So I phone him later and say "was that his last dose of medicine or something?" He goes "no that's the antibiotics he's just gotten, why?" I say "It's just that it needs to be in the proper labeled bottle from the doctor. It can't be just sat in a syringe in his lunch bag." (I tried to sound as nice as humanly possible despite rolling my eyes to myself since he's a teacher and his wife is a nurse and they totally know that...
He starts getting all snotty and goes "You're kidding."...I say I'm not. He goes "seriously?" I say "Yes"..."Seriously?!???" He says again and louder almost laughing.
I assure him I'm serious and say "and every medicine we give apart from cough candies or something needs to have a form filled out and signed before we can give it"...By this point he's acting like a real brat on the phone and my stomach is in knots (I don't know why I feel so uncomfortable with him)...I say" It's just that if licensing came by for a drop-in and saw unlabeled medicine in our fridge and especially that we intend to give it to a child we would be in a lot of trouble..."
He goes "oh come on..." I had had enough by this point and said (though still nice as can be "what exactly is the problem? It shouldn't make any difference really should it? We're just following the rules anyway for the safety of all the children, including yours." He scoffs but then says "fine, see you later"
So he shows up today and I hand him the forms and show him where to sign....should've known to check it before he left! He didn't bloody sign it at all....he filled in the date and handed it back. I know he's done it on purpose and he was still acting all know-it-all and stood there and read the entire form outloud! Then went on and on about how it goes against the Freedom of Privacy Act having it all in one book with the kids past meds written down.
I was like "actually, as soon as you're done signing it it will go into his file. No one ever sees the next persons."

omg, you guys. I am seriously over my head with this guy. He drives me batty. We are talking about the same family I used to nanny for. You'd think I'd be used to him by now but he is the one person my blood just boils dealing with twice a day. Thank goodness all the kids are napping right now cuz I SO needed 15 mins on here to vent.

Not that I expect anyone to anymore now that this is so long, but if anyone actually made it this far THANKS. lol.

Joined: 09/01/04
Posts: 1436

Big hugs. Kudos to you for not blowing your stack.

Mommy2007's picture
Joined: 12/13/06
Posts: 1203

Wow yes so proud of you that you kept your cool. But rules are rules and if he's a teacher he should more than understand. You have to do whatever is required to make sure your butt is covered. In my opinion he's just being disrespectful and trying to push his boundaries. I would honestly write up some sort of warning and say if it's done 2 more times that you have a right to dismiss him. It's really a shame since you and Wayne really are fond of his son. But you have to do what you have to do. You can't really run the risk of losing your daycare just because of one annoying person.

anyway hope typing it all helped you cool down some. Definitely vent whenever u want. kup

big hugs

tialee's picture
Joined: 10/29/07
Posts: 2779

KAren we are all friends here feel free to vent anytime. I am sorry he is such a jerk! I mean to pick up your personal mail and read it!!! MY own family would not do that. THen to not sign it! I mean did he fill out what the meds were? IF not that is the safety of his own child cause then you can't give his child the meds. Sorry you have to deal with him. Good to know it is nap time. Treat yourself to some chocolate or warm coffee or tea. Hope he gets his act together.

sewgirly's picture
Joined: 01/01/06
Posts: 1496

What a rear end!!!!

I have parents send in medicine all the time in student's backpacks! Uh, hello? You can't do that! Sometimes I wonder if people stepped out of line the day God passed out brains!!

Way to go for keeping cool! Is he that way with your DH? I would let him handle him if he gets a better reaction from him. Maybe take a potty break when he pulls up next time!

auret's picture
Joined: 08/23/06
Posts: 1558

I would call his wife. Wink Tell her that you don't feel he understood or acknowledged the rules and didn't sign the paper. Just tell the facts, she'll be mad enough on her own (not at you, but at her DH!).

Go over his head! And be clear that unless those papers are signed and all medication is labeled, the medicine will not be given (which in this case means he would miss doses of his antibiotic). If it goes back home in his lunchbox, they'll notice.

Good luck, hon! :bigarmhug: And congrats on not blowing your stack!

MommyMish's picture
Joined: 05/30/07
Posts: 1889

You have to follow the rules... it's your butt on the line. Plus, how are you to know that the father isn't fed up with the kid (or you) and is trying to get the kid sick by having you give him something and then pin you with it. Not that I think he is, but this is the sick and perverted world we now live in. You totally are doing the right thing. If he doesn't sign it and send in the meds in the LABELLED bottle, I wouldn't give it.

iluvmygemini's picture
Joined: 09/02/08
Posts: 1393

wow. just wow. i cant believe that he has the nerve to treat the person who takes care of his son every single day like that! i honestly dont know how you have put up with it this long. i would have given up and told him to find another daycare. im sorry you are going through this Sad

MommyCB's picture
Joined: 05/04/06
Posts: 7623

Oh my.... :bigarmhug:! I love Beth's suggestion. Call his wife. She will do enough without you even having to step in again probably. I'm sorry.....that's just crazy.

slurpeegirl13's picture
Joined: 02/26/07
Posts: 4125

Sounds like he's arrogant for the sake of being arrogant. Sorry you have to deal with him! :bigarmhug:

Honey3.14's picture
Joined: 04/07/12
Posts: 2094

He sounds like a wad of used toilet paper. Honestly! I'd go to his wife and tell her, and then I'd write out the rules real clearly and if he breaks them on purpose, then as fond as you are of that little boy, I'd tell them that I'm sorry but I can't be his daycare provider anymore.

mommys's picture
Joined: 05/08/06
Posts: 6264


Uropachild's picture
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176

What an arsehole!!!!

K9Trainer's picture
Joined: 09/25/06
Posts: 4065

Geez Karen! I am sure that the same with taking care of people's dogs applies to taking care of people's kids. The dogs were the easy part, it was their owners that sucked!! LOL I am sorry that he is causing you grief. You've gotten lots of great advice. I hope he eases up on you and that you can keep his sweet kid you obviously adore. Please never feel bad about venting, we all need to do it from time to time. Smile Hugs girl!

captainswife's picture
Joined: 11/25/07
Posts: 2687

Thanks girls. Some great advice indeed. I know for a fact he talked to his wife before I even had a chance cuz when he came to pick up his son yesterday he apologized straight away and it sounded like it came straight from her mouth. LOL. I bet he thought he was in the right, vented to her, and then she freaked on him and is worrying he'll ruin their spot for their child. lol
Anyway when he apologized for being such a pushy grouch I didn't back down and say like "oh were you being grouchy?" lol. He said sorry and I said (in front of Wayne too) "Well thanks for apologizing for it anyway. The rules are the rules though so we'll just leave it at that." The funniest part was he apologized in front of our other 5 kids cuz we were just heading to play in the yard and I guess he thought they wouldn't pay much attention :rolleyes: ...instead they all start saying "Who were you grouchy to? Why were you grouchy? It's not nice to be grouchy...." LMAO
Anyway he started acting like the nicest thing around and offering us stuff so he knows he's on thin ice. Next time he even ATTEMPTS to pull something I'm going to stop him dead in his tracks.
The problem is that we have a wait list a mile long for young kids but not in the 4 year old category like his son...4 year olds are super hard to find, so financially, letting him go would really mess us up. If worse comes to worse though I most certainly will. And as far as letting Wayne deal with him he tries it with him too. I think we will tag team him though cuz maybe he'll act proper with 2 adults in his face every time. lol

Thanks for all your help everyone Biggrin

Andy1784's picture
Joined: 09/18/08
Posts: 1372

Hopefully he really learned his lesson. I can't imagine being so rude to the person who is responsible for my child all day!

Uropachild's picture
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176

Thank goodness he apologised! I can just imagine his wife balling him out. HA!