Could you guys do me a favor? (OT)

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Madisonsmom07's picture
Joined: 08/15/07
Posts: 445
Could you guys do me a favor? (OT)

I hope it's okay for me to ask this. My DH is in the process of getting my hairbow website ready. We were hoping to have it ready to go today, but he's still adding stuff and I haven't been able to upload the actual pictures so I have some replacement pictures for the time being. Anyway, my DH created the about me page so that I could do a little write up. He's not very interested in reading it tonight because he wants to go to bed. Could you guys look over it and tell me if it sounds okay? The website is www.ribbonstobows.com (Please keep in mind that most of the site is not complete). Is the "about me" too wordy? Any suggestions? Thanks in advance.

tialee's picture
Joined: 10/29/07
Posts: 2779

I don't think it is too much at all. I love the bald little head part!

MommyCB's picture
Joined: 05/04/06
Posts: 7623

It's a great story and allows people insight about why you started making them. I don't think it's too much about you at all....that's kindof what that page is for anyways.

P.S. You can bet I'll be buying some if we have a girl! OMG, they are just tooooooo cute!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I think that it doesn't quite flow, but I do like the overall feel.

I just copied/pasted and made my edits. Bolded are the areas I changed.
Hi and welcome to Ribbons to Bows!

I started making bowbands when my daughter, Madison,was 3 months old. To show off her femininity I wanted to find some bows for her beautiful, but bald, little head. However, after searching around our hometown for the perfect bow, I came up empty handed. I decided that if I was searching for an adorable bowband, surely other moms were looking for the same thing. That is when I decided to start Ribbons to Bows. Now that Madison is a little older, and has more hair, she still willingly wears a bowband daily; in fact it is her signature accessory. My desire is to create a custom bowband for your little girl that accentuates her beauty.

Thank you so much for choosing Ribbons to Bows to create an adorable bowband made just for your special little girl.

Sincerely,
Lisa

Madisonsmom07's picture
Joined: 08/15/07
Posts: 445

"Avalon321" wrote:

I think that it doesn't quite flow, but I do like the overall feel.

I just copied/pasted and made my edits. Bolded are the areas I changed.
Hi and welcome to Ribbons to Bows!

I started making bowbands when my daughter, Madison,was 3 months old. To show off her femininity I wanted to find some bows for her beautiful, but bald, little head. However, after searching around our hometown for the perfect bow, I came up empty handed. I decided that if I was searching for an adorable bowband, surely other moms were looking for the same thing. That is when I decided to start Ribbons to Bows. Now that Madison is a little older, and has more hair, she still willingly wears a bowband daily; in fact it is her signature accessory. My desire is to create a custom bowband for your little girl that accentuates her beauty.

Thank you!! That was actually the part that I was struggling with, but I think I just looked at it too long to make it work. Now I'm off to go fix it.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I think it is perfect!
I love the colors of your webpage too.

coolmama72's picture
Joined: 10/20/01
Posts: 8185

just saw it now, looks great! (I didn't see it before the changes).

And that's a great looking site, let me know when you go live and I'll share it with friends with baby girls.

sewgirly's picture
Joined: 01/01/06
Posts: 1496

Hi Lisa,

I'm horrible on editing but it sounds great to me. I demand that you add Bama to the bow list!!!! ROLL TIDE!

I'm in Murfreesboro, BTW. I saw where you asked that on my other post.

AshnBill's picture
Joined: 11/06/06
Posts: 5333

looks great!!!