ok, so how would you handle this ladies? I didn't sa anything at first, in fear that i would say it in anger, I really want to think about my responce.
I woke up this morning not feeling well; achey, skin hurts to the touch (i always get like this when i'm coming down with something), and feeling like i'm going to vomit. so I took a shower in the front bathroom (the one andy uses with his shower bench) and when i get out I tell dh that i'm just going to go weigh in at my weight watchers meeting and come home because i don't feel well. and then he asks me these two questions:
andy: why did you take a shower in that bathroom?
me: because it's smaller and the steam fills the room. My bathroom is open and doesn't get steamy.
andy: Do i still have a towel in there?
NOTHING about how I was feeling, i could tell he had this look of grief because that means that i would want to sit on the couch and drink chicken soup all day and he would need to be the primary care providor for Eli today. How do i bring this up to him and tell him how it made me feel, without him getting defensive?
Just be honest with him, don't be like "you didn't say", but more like "I felt like". I don't know if I'm making sense. But telling him how you feel without accusing him of anything would help prevent defensive-ness. sometimes guys can be clueless to how they make us feel.
I hope you feel better fast!
Gwen, Mommy to Andrew, Jordan, Natalie & Jack
My blog - all things family, photography and crafty
Gwen said it perfectly. Instead of saying "you, you, you" just be honest about your feelings. Good luck! Sometimes men take everything as being against them. DH does that sometimes too. I have to keep it neutral to prevent an argument.
Kayson 10-9-06 & Cohen 02-08-10
I'll try that. In the past, even when I say I felt this way, he gets defensive saying "well i didn't mean it like that" and he turns it around so he's the victim.. maybe i'll just let it go. Mabe i'm being over sensetive because i'm sick
i hope you feel better soon
Sorry you're not feeling well Liz I hope you get to feeling better soon. Im sure he was feeling bad cause he would have to take care of Eli I bet he wasnt thinking about you're feelings. I would just mention that you would appreciate a "hi, how are you" in the morning instead of "why are you using my bathroom" Good luck!
I'm sorry you're not feeling well, hope you feel better soon!