Finished something (update-OT)

12 posts / 0 new
Last post
sewgirly's picture
Joined: 01/01/06
Posts: 1496
Finished something (update-OT)

I finished something and I wanted to thank Tia for making the suggestion to me. I've been working on a scrapbook of pics that we had taken while Isaiah was home with us. I've worked off and on on it for a while now and I think I'm ready to be done with it. I'm really glad I did it even through all the tears. I think its just part of me moving on and healing. Not sure what I will do with it. DH hasn't looked at any of it. He knows I was working on it and says whatever I need to do but he just doesn't want to see it. I respect that. We all deal differently.

I'm not posting it right now. I've journaled on the pages and for now I'm just not ready to share those.

I don't think we are going back on the waiting list anytime soon, and maybe never. I wrestle with that daily. I just don't have the peace or maybe even the courage to try this again. And for now I'm learning to accept that.

Anyway, just thought I would share with some girls that I knew would "get" it. Now that I'm done with that, I'll try to get back to things to share with you all!

The physical me is doing better too! I'm on hormones that cause a continuous AF and that just simply stinks right now but my body is doing what my dr. wants it to so I'm happy. He even said I may avoid surgery when I went in last week. PTL!

Oh, and on a happy note- SNOW DAY tomorrow too! Smile

captainswife's picture
Joined: 11/25/07
Posts: 2687

I wish I could give you a huge hug in real life hun :bigarmhug: You are so strong, you know that? You may not always feel it but you really are. I'm really proud of you.
I think it's sweet you did a little book about Isaiah. Good for you :bigarmhug: One day when the pain isn't so fresh, I'm sure you will be happy you have that. And maybe one day your hubby will look at it too.
Sorry about your constant af Sad though I'm happy your body is doing what it's supposed to. That's great to hear. Love and hugs to you. And have a great day off tomorrow! Biggrin More? can you share the wealth? We only had one day of snow and it wasn't enough to close anything. lol

slurpeegirl13's picture
Joined: 02/26/07
Posts: 4125

I wish I could give you a hug too! I'm glad you were able to get some closure from it by scrapping about it :bigarmhug: You're an amazing, strong woman!!!

tialee's picture
Joined: 10/29/07
Posts: 2779

I am SO glad you made it:bigarmhug: I understand how personal that is and why it is private but I am so glad that you shared with us that you did make it. Scrapbooking can be so healing sometimes. I made a book for my dh knowing he did not want one at the time. He was driving behind his best friend and his friend got in an accident. When dh got out to check on his friend he found him in the road and he was gone. The book sat for a few months untouched but then I would notice it moved. Awhile later some of dh's friends were over and he took out the book to show them. To this day he never tells me but I will notice days when the book is moved so I just give him an extra hug those days.
Not to get ot but just wanted to tell you that I am sure if your dh ever changes his mind that he will be very happy you made it Smile and I know you will be too.

MommyCB's picture
Joined: 05/04/06
Posts: 7623

(((hugs))) I wish we could all give you one in person. I'm glad you scrapped those memories. May it help you in this healing journey. we are always here for you. Even if you just need to talk. And I understand you not wanting to share the pages yet. Take your time. We love you sweetie!

AshnBill's picture
Joined: 11/06/06
Posts: 5333

I totally understand not wanting to share pictures right now. I think it's awesome you scrapped them, though. :bighug:

Breen31806's picture
Joined: 09/05/06
Posts: 1172

That is awesome that you scrapped them. Thanks for sharing that you did scrap them. I have pictures of the our embryo's that didn't survive and I've been wondering what to do with them. Putting them on a page in our book sounds like a good idea.

Big Hugs sweety.

K9Trainer's picture
Joined: 09/25/06
Posts: 4065

I too wish I could give you a big hug Kelly. You are an inspiration to me, seriously.

coolmama72's picture
Joined: 10/20/01
Posts: 8185

I wish I could give you a hug too. I'm so proud of you for doing the scrapbook, I really am. Yes, people deal differently, and you're so good with your creative outlets that it makes sense that you did a scrapbook. I'd love to see it when you're ready, and if you're never ready, that's cool too.

Sucks about the forever AF, how long are you on those meds? Avoiding surgery makes sense. And I really hope that you and Greg get to a point where there's no mental wrestling. I can only imagine the pain that causes. Sad I pray for your peace, I really do. Peace and completion.


StateChick's picture
Joined: 03/22/07
Posts: 3629

Kelly, following your journey is one thing that brought me to this board.

I really have no words, just hugs. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been to create that book, but I think one day you (and dh) will look back and be glad you did.

sadieruth's picture
Joined: 06/09/05
Posts: 6205

I so wish there was something more that we could all do for you. :bigarmhug: Thanks so much for sharing your journey with us. I know that I don't post on here as often, but please know that I think of you a lot. We volunteer at a local youth shelter, and there's some foster parents. I always think of you. :bigarmhug:

mommys's picture
Joined: 05/08/06
Posts: 6264

We pray for you at least once a week, sometimes I imagine that you can feel he love we are sending your way.

I'm glad you made an album about your experience with him.