I wrote about some of my current frustrations at my birth board. Since I know there are a few other clergy families here, I thought I'd give the link...
If you're church going.... please, please, please approach your Pastor's wife this Sunday and say something nice to them for me. We need encouragement too throughout this mission of a lifestyle that our spouses have embarked on and there are so many aspect of it that wiegh us down. It's worth it, but it can be difficult, especially when the church uses something as stupid as curtains for the parsonage to systematically cut you down and make you feel worthless.
I'm sorry they are giving you grief. I honestly never thought about the parsonage getting a say as to what curtains should look like. I figured whoever lived there at the time got to choose and if someone didn't like it later, they can replace it themselves.
Our church is currently having issues. We hired a pastor several months back after being without one for almost a year. He has been at our church since September without his wife and kids because they cannot seem to sell their old house. I feel absolutely horrible for him because they have been apart for so long. There are many in the church that feel we should help him cover the carrying costs until he gets it sold but others are using the economy to hold on to the emergency fund.
I guess there is always something going on behind the scenes. I hope you get the shades in, hang them, and they look fantastic.
Rather than post on your birth board, I thought I'd come back over here.
I'm so sorry. I really want to cry for you!
It is so sad that they do not see how they are making you feel. What a mess and how silly of a little thing to turn into this. I'm so sorry. I hope they come in and work/look perfect!
Nancy- how stressful for your pastor and his family! I have a feeling that even if the economy wasn't so bad, there would still be nay-sayers for helping them. It's just the way of churches. They want their Pastors for practically free, about 35 years old, with 20 years experience, working an 80 hour a week schedule, but always home with his family, impeccably dressed man, who buys from Goodwill, and is a great motivator, councilor, local sports aficionado, who brings in the youth, yet relates to the elderly and always has a smile on his face. Yes, we realize the contradictions and humor in that.
I could go out and buy curtains myself, but I'd still have to get council approval to install them. Plus, when it's not my house, how can I justify spending $300 for something that most likely wouldn't fit into any other house I moved to?
That is absolutely ridiculous!!! Only it sounds like an all-too-common problem! Our Pastor's council had little-to-no respect for our young pastor and his wife when they first moved here. They were only 25 and 28, so got treated like they were dumb. It made us so upset. I am so sorry! The pastor's wives often burden a lot of the load...being there for the husbands and overseeing so much of what goes on in the church, yet they are definitely an unappreciated part of the church body. I wish I could give you a hug in person, but a cyber-hug will have to do from your "invisible internet friend". Chin up sweetie....it will get better. I can't believe they are doing this over curtains, and yet I can!
Kayson 10-9-06 & Cohen 02-08-10
I was 21 when I married my husband and moved here. I'm now a year older then he was when he was called here. They still call Stan the new guy, and he started going to school here in 4th grade and is in his 60s now.
It's an older generation here and I do understand that, even it makes me feel sad and defeated sometimes.
Charys- Thanks for the cyber hug. I'm serious though... do something deliberately nice for your Pastor's wife as a sort of pay it forward. You can even say "I have a pastor's wife friend in another state and I can't be there for her, but I can for you." It'll make her day.
Oh my. I am so sorry. That just breaks my heart that you are having to deal with that. I will do a pay it forward. I know that all pastor's wives work hard, and they never get special attention, but I never say anything to my pastor's wife. I will, and thank you for bringing that up. I hope that they wake up and realize you are just wanting some curtains, nothing huge. Sorry....
Michelle. Big hug from me too!!
Married to my best friend 10-16-1993
DS #1 08-16-1999