This morning I dropped K off at her dayhome and within a minute, the other kid there bit her - hard enough to leave teeth marks. She was unprovoked, Kaitlyn was just playing and the little girl came over and bit her. She came home 2 weeks ago bleeding because the same little girl bit her.
K has been saying for probably 6 weeks 'Julia bite Julia bite', until the first time she was bit (and bled), we thought she was talking about food because she always asks us for 'bites' of our food. She hasn't really been asking to go there like she did in the beginning when she wouldn't shut up about going to J's house. I don't know if it's a problem and we're not hearing about it because the mom isn't seeing it or just not telling us.
The most difficult part is how the mom handled it - she sat J down and said that she shouldn't do that, she needs to be nice to Kaitlyn, and tried to give her a timeout (it didn't work, she left the wall within 2 second of touching it) and then told her she'd have a big timeout 'later.' She isn't 2 yet- she's not going to "get" that.
I worried about her alllllll day, and I didn't know what to say when I got there.
Well, when I got there she was visibly upset and said it was a bad day, she had to be between her daughter and K all day. I found out the reason why once Kaitlyn had her back to me - she has 3 deep scratched on her neck/upper back about 3 inches long each. Apparently J didn't like something and scratched the heck out of K.
I asked the mom what her plan was if it was to happen again, and she said she was trying to find a babysitter for her daughter, which kinda defeats the purpose of having a dayhome and I thought that was silly. She agreed with me that J was very jealous about her mom spending time with another little girl, and that was probably the cause, and I asked her if I needed to be looking for another dayhome. She said that was up to me, but that J probably wasn't ready to be around another kid full time. That told me lots! I told her I'd talk to Mark and let her know what our decision was.
When I got home and talked to Mark about it I started bawling because I was changing K into clothes for the park and she had not only the scratches but another (unexplained) bruise on her back. That did it for me. Between the bite marks (still visible, she bruised pretty bad), the scratches and the bruise, all in one day, I was done.
So I called (well, emailed) around when I got home and called the very first dayhome we went to that we loved! We only had to leave because she was over on the number of kids she could have and we were only part time. Anyways, she only has 4 kids right now (max is 6) and she would love to have Kaitlyn back. She is $10 more a day, but at this point I am thinking it's worth not having to worry about K all day. She is starting there on Monday.
Anyways ... just wanted to share my drama. If you got this far thanks for reading!
Oh poor Kaitlyn! I would've been so angry, I'd be taking pictures of every mark and contacting the human services to report a complaint on the care she was providing and have them investigate to see if a correction order is warranted. She should've been reporting every bite that occurred, which makes me wonder how often she's let it slide when Kaitlyn has been saying it for 6 weeks. That way, if she continues to do daycare, at least they have something recorded in the event a potential parent is interested in knowing her history.
But I'm glad you were able to find a new provider that you love so quickly! I hope you have no more issues ever again with daycare. That's like a nightmare unraveling when you're putting your faith and trust into someone to care for your most precious.
DD Twins: 8/4/09 @ 35 Wks - No NICU, woot!
oh, Trina!!! I'm sorry that you're going through this, and poor Kaitlyn! Yeah, it sounds like the mom watching her isn't prepared to handle her own kid in a situation like that. (as a total aside, my kids were at a full blown center, and the director's kid was biting BIG TIME and they had to send him somewhere else! families left the center because of what that kid was doing to kids in the class (he was in Jordan's class). and it totally had everything to do with the fact that his mom was running it and not spending time with him).
I think $10/day is worth it, you loved that daycare, and it's peace of mind.
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Thank goodness you had access to a plan B! The extra money is well worth the peace of mind you will get, and although it is quite sad really that this other woman has to loose you she should get a grip on her kid! Kids do crazy stuff, but it's been going on for so long she clearly has no control over her daughter, so how is she with the other kids she look after? It's quite telling.
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that kind of stuff gives me nightmares and thats why im terrified of someone babysitting my kids. I'm so sorry that K was having to go through that. that breaks my heart. im so glad you had another daycare that you could take her too! i hope she really loves the new daycare and can come home telling your positive things about her day.
I am so glad you were able to move her that quickly. Good! I can understand a bite or two at a daycare. It happens, but that is just ridiculous. I hope that she loves her new place and has a lot of fun there.
I am so sorry Trina. That had to be so hard leaving K. I think the $10 is worth it. I hope the new daycare works out!
I can only imagine how frustrated and upset you must have felt. I too am glad to hear that it all worked out in the end. I too might consider contacting Family Services. That seems like a LOT of stuff that happened to her. Would definitely make me consider. Hugs girl!!
Married to my best friend 10-16-1993
DS #1 08-16-1999
Oh wow! I'm so sorry you and K have to go through this. That's so horrible and so horrible the way the mom dealt with it. Her daughter is never going to get over her jealousy and be ok with other kids if the mom doesn't correct it.
Big hugs to you.
So glad you moved her to a dayhome that you are more comfortable with.