I need advice! (ot)

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LovePinkGotBlue's picture
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I need advice! (ot)

Hi ladies, I posted this over on the fundamenatlist christian page. I would LOVE all the advice I can get. Thanks. Smile
http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboards/showthread.php?t=328593

babyblues341's picture
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wow Liz, I am not quite sure how to respond. :confused: My DH is basically the same way. I wanted NO tv from the beginning but then DH would put it on while I was at work and let Ryne watch it. I try to get out of the house during the day so he isn't so attatched to it, what I have noticed though is even though the tv is on (mostly for background noise for me, I hate the quiet) Ryne barely pays attention to it. If something catches his attention he watches for 5 minutes and then goes on his way. When DH comes home, he immediately plops himself down infront of the tv or computer and thats pretty much where he stays all night. If he plays with Ryne, he plays with him while watching tv. Ok so yea, I didn't mean for my post to be a book, just kind of wanted to let you know I'm sort of in the same boat. :confused:

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i think we married the same man!!! LOL With Eli, i can tell he has a strong liking for the tv...and i want to limit it as much as possible so that he doesn't become addicted like his father. dh's mother said andy has always been addicted to tv. I really wish he had other hobbies!

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First, I offer a hug to you. Keep your spirits high, and I know it's cliche, but keep praying for him and for yourself and for your marriage. Prayer works. Even if you don't see immediate results. Maybe you can sit down and have a really nice talk with him about the TV. Tell him what bothers you about it and ask him to tell you what he thinks. I bet at the end of the discussion you can both agree on a compromise of sorts. I will keep you guys in my prayers. And I covet your prayers for us always.

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My dh is the EXACT same way, the TV always has to be on ... I just try and suggest things like walks, etc every day

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Liz I can relate. Unfortunately I am just as much of a culprit as my DH. The thing is the tv is always on, but we're not always watching. It's more of a background noise because DH and I cannot agree at all what music to listen too, but we like the same movies and same tv shows (most the time). I wish I had more advice for you but all I can say is I'm sorry your going through this.

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First off, big hugs! I know it can be so frustrating to be on a different page than your spouse when it comes to certain aspects of parenting.

Honestly, it sounds to me like you two might need a good talk about the subject of TV. I know in our household time is sometimes short, we are tired and we'll 'mention' things that we hope the other will readily get even though the subject merits a longer conversation (if, in fact, that's the way you meant it ;)). But some things really need to be discussed in depth.

I really wanted less TV than we have in our house (though I married a man that was in the TV business!). We did agree--after several conversations--that we would definitely limit Peyton's shows (both by content and time each day) AND that if the TV is ever on something else while P is around it is something suitable (by our standards!) for children to be watching. We use the DVR (now available from most cable companies) to record the things we should watch by ourselves or after P has gone to bed. I totally get that he is looking for some way to decompress from the day but life changes with the arrival of children and there are lots of aspects of life that change, too! JMO, of course. I hope you two can come to an agreement on what is best for your family that is good for everyone.

As it has ended up in our house, my child is TOTALLY enthralled by 'Super Why', 'Word World' and 'Signing Time'. Hey, I have a 2-year-old who can recognize most of the alphabet, spell a few words and do more signs than I will ever remember! That part isn't so bad Wink

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Thanks for all the wonderful advice ladies. Smile I will *try* to talk to him about it, but i feel that it will be an endless discussion for years to come. He still hasn't realized that once you're a parent that are some behaviors that need to be modified. He can still be himself, but he needs think about what is good for Eli and the family as a whole now. And i really don't feel that he gets that. Sad

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Honestly, I think it will be more apparent to him when Eli starts parroting. When T.J. started mimicking phrases or when he exhibited fear of Shrek, we realized that the t.v. was having an effect on him. In the beginning, T.J. didn't really notice the tv so DH didn't really concern himself with editing his viewing choices. When T.J. one day laughed at an inappropriate joke on Family Guy, DH looked at me and said OMG! I realize T.J. wasn't laughing at the joke, he was laughing at the cartoon baby and the audience laughter but it made the whole situation seem WRONG! Now it's on Noggin while T.J. is up.

As far as the amount of tv, honestly we watch alot here. It's mainly on for background and I like for us to interact without it so I don't feel it's a problem yet. However, last night at dinner T.J. said he was done eating after about 3 minutes. I then realized I heard the Diego theme music in the background. He just wanted down to watch tv so as of now, no tv on while eating dinner.

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"LovePinkGotBlue" wrote:

Thanks for all the wonderful advice ladies. Smile I will *try* to talk to him about it, but i feel that it will be an endless discussion for years to come. He still hasn't realized that once you're a parent that are some behaviors that need to be modified. He can still be himself, but he needs think about what is good for Eli and the family as a whole now. And i really don't feel that he gets that. Sad

This sooo sounds like my DH. I wish you all the best with the TV problem. Do you have a TV in the bedroom that he could use maybe? I have noticed Scout starting to watch TV already and I've really started to re-evaluate what I am watching when she is in the room. I know she doesn't understand it, but I don't want her seeing some of the images that I've seen on the TV...