The layout is very basic because the journaling was so massive that it took up the whole thing LOL
Behind the layout I put a copy of the letter that I wrote to the hospital he was born at ( complaining about how we were treated) also because it goes right along with this journaling.
This is the journaling if anyone is interested. Its long so I dont expect anyone to read it lol, just wanted to share in case someone wanted to. Thanks for looking!
We arrived at the hospital right on time at 5:00 am. We had to fill out some paper work and then they took us back to a room to wait for the procedure. Everyone came in to visit and stood around talking while the nurses prepared me for the c-section. We went back into the O.R. right at 7:30. It felt so good in the OR. I had been so hot in the other room that walking into that cold O.R. was just such a relief. They gave me the spinal and really it wasn't bad at all. I was so nervous knowing that you were about to be born. You was born at 8:04. As they were pulling you out I heard the Dr. say that you were “still a boy” and that you were a big one ( half grown she said). She also said “check his shoulder, I think I heard a pop”. Your first cry took my breath away, but it wasn’t a really strong cry like I have seen on tv before. You had more of a little puppy dog whimper. I looked up at your Dad and he was smiling and I was just about to cry but I managed to hold it all together. They brought you over to your dad and I was trying to reach my hand up and touch you but I was shaking so hard that I could barely get my hand to work. I just kept thinking about how absolutely beautiful you were. All I could see was your face though because you were bundled so tight. You weighed 8 lbs 13 ounces and were 20.5 inches long.
Your Daddy took you out to the nursery and they finished up with me and took me to recovery. In recovery one of the nurses told me that you had a substantial size birthmark on your right arm and shoulder”. I wasn’t worried about that because your daddy has birthmarks on his legs. 3 or 4 of them, none are that big but he does have them so it wasn’t a surprise to hear that you had one too. When your dad came back there with me I asked him about it and he said that it looked more like a bruise to him than a birthmark. He also told me that that same arm was swollen. The theory at that point was that maybe it was the position that you were in in the womb.
When they took me to my room they let me go by the nursery to see you. The nurse was giving you a bath and held you up for me to see. Once we got into the room I started asking when they would bring you to me. The nurses told me that they were finishing up your bath and once your body temp was up and stable they would bring you to me. Two hours went by and I still hadn’t held you. We were told that one of the Dr’s was on the phone with them and was coming to check out your arm and then they would bring you to me. About 20 minutes later the doctor came into the room and told us that they had been doing X-Rays on your arm and that they could not find anything to cause your arm to be swollen like it was. He also told us that they were hearing a heart murmur that may or may not be related to your arm. He said they had called around locally and that no one had the equipment ( a Doppler Ultrasound) needed to find out. He said that they were transferring you to TC Thompson and that transport team would be there in 45 minutes. The minute the words were out of his mouth I broke down. I have never in my life had my heart broken like that. We had no idea there was anything wrong, other than a little swelling.
About two hours later the DR at TC Thompson called and said that you had Klippel Trenaunay Weber and that the murmur was still there and could possibly be associated with the condition. He explained that the condition is an extra collection of blood vessels. They were concerned that your heart might be overworked because of the extra flow of blood back and forth between your heart and your arm. I asked if there was a way to *fix* the condition and he told me that “no, there is no way to fix it”. I somehow managed to stay calm during the conversation, but the minute I hung up with him and tried to tell your daddy what he had said I started to cry again. It was so scary to hear that you may have heart problems.
Saturday, I was out of the hospital by 12 and on my way to see you within an hour. I had a really hard time while you were in the NICU. I missed you so much and couldn’t always be there with you. The nurses didn’t always let me hold you when I wanted to and sometimes we were not allowed to be in there with you. I really wish I could have just taken you home with me.
On our last night there they let us room in with you. They put us in a hotel-like room and you was ours for the night. It was wonderful. For the first time since you were born we were allowed to hold you without asking permission. We were allowed to feed you when you wanted to be fed. We didn’t have to wait the 3 hours and then force him to finish a bottle in 30 minutes. I was able to nurse you whenever you wanted without having to rush you so that you were able to get the bottle finished in the time frame as well as nurse from me.
Finally on Thursday afternoon they let us take you home. We got you dressed in your sweet little outfit and put you in your car seat for the first time. I held you while they pushed me in a wheelchair to the car. I sat in the backseat with you on the way home in case you cried, but you slept the whole way home. It is so wonderful to have you home now so that we can hold you anytime we want. You are our dream come true.