Need advice on baby nursery, my mom is driving me nuts!!!
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Thread: Need advice on baby nursery, my mom is driving me nuts!!!

  1. #1
    Mega Poster Cherrykitten's Avatar
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    Default Need advice on baby nursery, my mom is driving me nuts!!!

    Sorry I havent been around lately. Between having a toddler, being pregnant and finishing my lactation classes I haven't even been able to print off any photos, let alone scrap

    I need some advice on how to deal with my mom and the new babies nursery *PS, were having a girl!* So I finally picked out a bedding set, well I hadn't oficially decided on it but my mom saw that I was looking at it and bought it this morning Now shes calling and trying to tell me how to decorate the room, saying that her and my aunt will come over and tell me what should be done!!! I'm trying to be nice about the whole thing, Its her first grandaughter, but it's my first and only daughter!!!! I've been dreaming of doing a girls nursery since before DH and I were married and now she's trying to butt into every decision. She keeps offering to pay for it, and my thinking is that she thinks if she pays she can tell me how to do it. But I don't really need the financial support to do it. I'm not interested in spending hundreds, or having hundreds spent on it. I wanted to do most of it "crafty" and DIY.

    Aghhhh, maybe I'm being hormonal but I am really pissed off/sad about the whole thing. I didn't get to decorate Wyatt's room because we were renting a house from my Step Dad and he didn't want us to do much so I feel like I missed out that time. How do I tell her to calm down without hurting her feelings?

    Oh and here is the set we got

    Kat
    IBCLC Intern, Almost there!!!!
    Wyatt Rett 2-27-09
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  2. #2
    Prolific Poster zoe08's Avatar
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    That set is adorable!

    I think it would be best to just be honest with your mom. Tell her that you think it is great she is so excited about having a granddaughter, but that you really would like to decorate the nursery yourself. Or maybe you can find one project for the nursery that you could ask her to work on. Remind her nicely that she already had a daughter, and now it's your turn.

    I have somewhat similar issues with my mom, only not about decorating, she doesn't really care about that, but the name I am considering using, I'm not really sure at this point if I am choosing it because I like it, or because my mom has drilled it into my head EVERYtime we talk!
    Kalee & Justin 05/17/08
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    Mason 05/18/09
    Shaylynn 09/14/11



  3. #3
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    Congrats on a little girl!

    I guess I'd be as nice as possible...ask her what she has in mind. Maybe she does have a really great idea, color scheme, etc. If you don't like it, just tell her that's not what you had in mind, you already decided on ...

    Good luck! I'm so glad my mom could care less! LOL!
    ~Ashley

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    Posting Addict coolmama72's Avatar
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    oh, that would drive me up a freakin' wall! and that's without pregnancy hormones.

    but you really said it best in your post - you've been dreaming of doing this since before you even met your husband. ask her to let you have your dream. You're HER baby girl, ask her if she would have wanted HER mom to take over when she was pregnant with you ... or maybe not, that one could backfire.

    good luck!

    and congrats on having a girl, so exciting! love the nursery set, cute!
    Gwen, Mommy to Andrew, Jordan, Natalie & Jack




    My blog - all things family, photography and crafty

  5. #5
    Posting Addict mommys's Avatar
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    First, love the set!

    As for your mom, when she asks about coming to help tell her "I'm still deciding what I want to do". When she gives "suggestions", be sure to tell her that you will think about it. Try to steer the conversations around so that it is obvious that you will be making the final decisions. If she wants to help, let her know when you decide on something and let her help with what you have decided (ie: it is always great to have help painting). Maybe there is something that she is good at that you could ask her to make. That way, she feels valuable but you are directing the show. That is just my 2 cents. I know how frustrating it can be and hope it all works out well in the end without hurt feelings on either side.
    Stephanie & Dave - Andrea 10/22/06, Natalie 6/24/11
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  6. #6
    Mega Poster Cherrykitten's Avatar
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    Thanks for the advice gals! I actually got a bit of a reprive from the whole thing. I went to my 6 month appointment and had gained 10lbs in a month and after talking with the dr it all came down to stress. I talked with my mom and she asked how she could help reduce my stress levels and I told her to just stop worrying about the nursery That the added stress was something I didn't need and she agreed I also convinced my MIL that I didn't need a full on baby shower and that DH and I just wanted to throw a BBQ, which was a whole other stress factor on its own!
    Kat
    IBCLC Intern, Almost there!!!!
    Wyatt Rett 2-27-09
    Reagan Jean 9-15-11

    Moderator of Everything Breastfeeding!
    Co-Moderator of September 09


  7. #7
    Posting Addict coolmama72's Avatar
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    I'm so glad you were able to talk to your mom about it ... and yes, stress can totally make the weight gain increase like that.

    a BBQ sounds like fun! did it already happen?
    Gwen, Mommy to Andrew, Jordan, Natalie & Jack




    My blog - all things family, photography and crafty

  8. #8
    Mega Poster Cherrykitten's Avatar
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    No, no bbq yet. We are waiting until the end of next month most likely. My MIL asked me to hold off until dh's grandma is in town but I don't think i really want to wait until my 8th month to host a party for 50+
    Kat
    IBCLC Intern, Almost there!!!!
    Wyatt Rett 2-27-09
    Reagan Jean 9-15-11

    Moderator of Everything Breastfeeding!
    Co-Moderator of September 09


  9. #9
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    Glad that you were able to get your mom to see that she was stressing you out over it! I can't wait to see pics of the nursery when it's all finished!





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