OT ? about recieving/declining gifts

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LovePinkGotBlue's picture
Joined: 09/19/07
Posts: 622
OT ? about recieving/declining gifts

In the mail today we received a $50 check from an elderly person at church, she knows that we struggle financially and this is the second check we have gotten from her. She sent the first one in Dec. Is there a polite way to decline the check? Or would that be considered rude? Should i speak with her and tell her that we don't need/want to take her money?

I am happy that people are so generous to help us out (we do need it) but dh's pride gets in the way and he doesn't want to take it...he hates asking for help. which is understandable, but we've had $20 to live on the last week!

i don't know what to do.

~Mel~'s picture
Joined: 07/30/06
Posts: 516

If he absolutely won't let you accept it (I would take it) then perhaps take that money and turn it around and donate to a charity in her name?

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I think dh needs tp put his pride aside and worry more about his families well being, hope that doesnt sound rude, but we have been in the same boat, sometimes you just have to suck it up and be grateful that someone cares so much for you that they are so generous.

LovePinkGotBlue's picture
Joined: 09/19/07
Posts: 622

That's what i told dh. he knows we need it, but his pride was getting in the way. he doesn't take gifts well.

MommyCB's picture
Joined: 05/04/06
Posts: 7623

My DH is the same way! It's hard for them because they feel it reflects on their caring and providing for their family. Maybe you could have a talk with both your DH (and tell him it's ok to accept something that will help you all), and the woman who gave it to you. It could make her blessed to feel that she is blessing someone else, if that makes sense.

sadieruth's picture
Joined: 06/09/05
Posts: 6178

I agree with pp, I think you should accept it. Randall is the same way. I know it is hard to accept things like that, but that lady is a blessing to you guys! That's super sweet of her. I hope you guys are able to get back on your feet soon. I know the feeling hon. :confused:

mommys's picture
Joined: 05/08/06
Posts: 6264

I'm so sorry you are in that position. My husband would be the same way. I'm not sure what to tell you, except that you should tell her in person if you can't keep it. I'm sure if you are honest with her, she will understand that it hurts your husband's pride.

AshnBill's picture
Joined: 11/06/06
Posts: 5333

That's a tough situation. But remember she didn't HAVE to do that and she wouldnt've if she didn't WANT to.

LovePinkGotBlue's picture
Joined: 09/19/07
Posts: 622

Thanks for the advice ladies. We have decided to keep it, as i don't want her to get offended for us refusing a gift. I know i would be offended if a gift i gave someone was returned to me...monetary or not.

coolmama72's picture
Joined: 10/20/01
Posts: 8185

Chiming in late, but it sounds like you have a good grip on it now. Tell DH that you will pay it back in the future by giving to someone else who needs it when you're in a position to give. That should ease the pain of accepting gifts when pride is a factor.