OT Those of you with older kids...

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MommyMish's picture
Joined: 05/30/07
Posts: 1889
OT Those of you with older kids...

Please tell me this deliberately naughty, willfulness that my son just developed out of nowhere is a stage. He'll be 6 the end of March and is in kindergarten.

He's breaking my heart and making me feel like a horrible parent. Out of nowhere he can't sit still, and is just spontaneously destroying things (including favorite toys and then gets devastated by it), etc. He's being naughty especially towards me (moreso then his dad) and at school. School is silliness. Home is refusing to eat supper, even when it's his favorite, chucking water bottles at me because I didn't read his mind that he was done, etc.

Nothing has changed in home environment to bring it on. He has grown about 3 inches over break though. Of course we're not letting him get away with it... but I just feel like bawling all the time. It's like all I ever do is yell, punish and remind him that we love him, despite the bad things he does, but this is still not okay.

Please tell me it's a stage.

MommyMish's picture
Joined: 05/30/07
Posts: 1889

Lie if you have to. LOL

MommyCB's picture
Joined: 05/04/06
Posts: 7623

{{{{hugs}}}}

I'm not there yet with K, but he is all toddler!!!! I have no questions now why they call it the "terrible twos"!!!!!!!

As with all stages I am sure it will pass. Atleast I keep telling myself this "soon shall pass". Blum 3

sewgirly's picture
Joined: 01/01/06
Posts: 1496

I don't have any little ones but I'm a first grade teacher and honestly I think its just that age. I have a few boys and a couple of girls that just try to see what they can get away with. I can only imagine how they act at home with mom!! Hope he grows tired of it soon.

scrapangel's picture
Joined: 10/05/07
Posts: 807

I have a son about the same age and I will tell you that he has not been listening to me at home and actually has been getting in trouble at school for not paying attention to the teacher.

I think overall it is probably just the stage. Honestly the only thing that would really bother me is the throwing things at you.

Good Luck with it.

Joined: 03/17/08
Posts: 1391

"MommyMish" wrote:

Lie if you have to. LOL

ROFL That cracked me up.

I hope it's just a quick phase! Like Charys, I'm stuck in the terrible two's. It's no fun whatsover! Evan is really good most of the time, but when he is tired, LOOK OUT!

coolmama72's picture
Joined: 10/20/01
Posts: 8185

My son was like that a lot at 6 (and has moments at 7). Most of the time, it's a combination of things - he's really tired (but won't admit it) and he really needs some one on one mommy time (which is really hard when I have three younger kids that need me too). But really, when I would spend some good quality time with him on a regular basis things would get better. Anyhow, sure hope it passes quickly for you ... but I know it didn't for me. We even took Andrew to a counselor who told me (after 6 sessions) that he was normal.

MommyMish's picture
Joined: 05/30/07
Posts: 1889

Yeah, it's insane. So we decided that maybe he just needs an outlet for everything. Yeah, he did about 15 laps around our house (and we have a LOOOOOONNNNNGGGG house). Then he tickled and wrestled with both of us. Then he spent about 20 minutes playing bull with the couch. Which is essentially stomp and drag your feet a bunch and then run head first into the couch. Then he jumped and beat up my bed for another 15 minutes and then he rolled on the exercise ball with me. He went to bed an hour past his bedtime, but honestly, doing all that activity and never slowing down... this was probably what he needed more then sleep. We've promised him that if he doesn't get a card change at school tomorrow he can box with the Wii all he wants. He was excited by that.

He yelled and growled and huffed and roared at us the entire time. Whatever was building in him was BIG. Poor kid. I sincerely hope this helps.

During this all I told him he was like a tasmanian devil. He stopped and said seriously to me. "Oh no! I don't want to have the devil in me. I have to get him out." and then started desperately running around again. We got him to understand that a tasmanian devil is an animal.... but still- interesting insight into all that's going inside his head.

K9Trainer's picture
Joined: 09/25/06
Posts: 4065

I'm going to lie to you and tell you it's a phase...cause really I don't think it is. LOL

He's a BOY...it happens to them all IMO, or most of them anyway. Ask the few girls on here who are on my BB, and they will tell you this is a "sensitive" topic for me. I homeschool my oldest cause of these very problems we had that did NOT get better with age and were causing him to spiral downward VERY quickly. Not to mention the fact that if my child misbehaves, I want to punish him, not his teacher. ANYWAY, I'm sorry you are going through this Michelle, I know how hard it is. I hope your idea works..KUP. Rest assured however that you are not alone. HUGS!!

MommyMish's picture
Joined: 05/30/07
Posts: 1889

Luckily he has a teacher that I REALLY like, who understands that these are 5 year old BOYS, even while reminding them that politeness and a need to focus at times (in appropriate amounts) is always doable at any age. She's very good at.. how do I say this, not at treating boys and girls differently, but responding to their behaviors in proper context to their sex. I feel VERY blessed that she's there for him, and her and I have GREAT communication. She gives "card changes" (after a lot of reminders) and he doesn't get a sticker on a bad day. Worst he's ever had done is he had to sit at the table and finish his work during center time and once he had to sit at the art table to do his work- all of which I highly approve of. When he gets home, we talk more. Like tonight he didn't get his hour of tv or dessert, which is the punishment he picked out with his father.

Kids and discipline is always a touchy subject. It's just like my son has changed completely over the last 10 days and I've never seen anything like it in him. Potentially it's the growing, his age, but also, maybe the asthma medicine he's been on for 4 months now has finally fully kicked in, or the growth spurt gave his lungs a boost, and we need to adjust activity level for him as he seems to be able to support a more active lifestyle with less breaks now.

K9Trainer's picture
Joined: 09/25/06
Posts: 4065

That's great that his teacher is one that you like and are close to Michelle. I hope I didn't come off as a *^&%$ Smile I certainly didn't mean to. I tend to run my mouth before I think about it when it comes to this subject. Bottom line IMO is that you are his mom and you know him best, so you probably already know what the problem is and are just looking for reassurance. I always "knew" that Austin needed homeschooling, I just fought it for a bit and tried to get him to do well in school. Smile

MommyMish's picture
Joined: 05/30/07
Posts: 1889

You didn't sound like a ***** at all. I'm thankful for everyone's input, as it helps me better think about what could and couldn't be going on. See, I also have the problem where I NEED to have a solution for everything- or at least when it comes to my kids. Like I can fix it or something just by KNOWING. Sometimes, just knowing it's a stage, etc can make it easier for me to stop stressing so much about it. I just overanalyze things enough that I need to take a step back and see if I'm being too hard on him, going past his developmental abilities, etc.

slurpeegirl13's picture
Joined: 02/26/07
Posts: 4125

Don't have any clue, hoping it's just a phase for you ... :bigarmhug:

captainswife's picture
Joined: 11/25/07
Posts: 2687

double post...was trying to edit and pressed reply lol

captainswife's picture
Joined: 11/25/07
Posts: 2687

Just keep doing what your doing and you'll be alright. Just a thought about a boy that used to be in one of the classes I helped teach...he was 7 and used to give everyone a really hard time...but when he was given a chance to truly express why he was doing the things he was doing it seemed to help a lot. More than just talking to him, but I created a really cool looking journal that he could draw in when he was finished his bout of whatever he was doing...it not only gave him a chance to sit still and collect his thoughts and composure but also made him feel very grown up and in control of those thoughts and feelings. You could try even working through it in the throws of the bad behaviour but I know some kids (particularly boys) are a lot harder to get through to until they are calm.
Another thing I would do with him if he was excitable and it wasn't feasible to run around outside at that moment was get him involved in "puzzle races" with me (just as it sounds we would sit at a table together and each race to finish an individual, somewhat simple puzzle)...it was good one on one time and because his adrenaline was going and he was huffing and puffing (and laughing) to beat me it helped release a lot of built up energy :bigarmhug: hang in there girl.

sadieruth's picture
Joined: 06/09/05
Posts: 6169

I am not much help b/c Ruthie is only 2, almost 3. She is in a horrible stage right now, where I feel like all I do is get onto her, and it's breaking my heart, so I do understand that feeling. I have to agree with what Charys said, "this too shall pass." It sounds like you have got some good info though. :bigarmhug:

coolmama72's picture
Joined: 10/20/01
Posts: 8185

wanted to add something else from my personal experience - once allergy season starts (both fall and spring), Andrew's behavior becomes HORRIBLE! he's on Singulair year round, but when the behavior starts to get that bad, we start Zyrtec and then it improves. not sure what the connection is, my guess is that he doesn't get quality sleep when he starts to be bothered by pollen of any sort, and the Zyrtec helps with that.

tialee's picture
Joined: 10/29/07
Posts: 2779

"MommyMish" wrote:

Lie if you have to. LOL

OMG I will reply when I get home but your comment has me LMAO!!!!!!!!

MommyMish's picture
Joined: 05/30/07
Posts: 1889

Caleb's on singulair too. More for the asthma, but it helps the seasonal allergies too. He went on it the month before he started school. I just realized the other day that he hasn't had a coughing fit in FOREVER.

Today was better... his first decent day all week. He didn't get a card change, but it wasn't a two thumbs up day either.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I nannied for a girlie that was that way, and so was her 3 yr old sister :roll: are you a "talker" and like to talk everything out with your kiddos about what they are doing and why they are getting punished etc...alot of education people, counselor/behaviorists, and spawns of these people do it Wink The lady I worked for, her mom was a counselor. Sometimes I think that people talk too much about kid's mis behavior and the kids need to realize that they are in trouble and need to be diciplined. A constant working it out soon becomes a situation where they feel bad about themselves. As you have mentioned your son feeling bad about the tazmanian devil thing. When I nannied these girls I CONSTANTLY had to deal with their bad behavior and then when they got in trouble they would ask me "do you still like me?" "am I still a good girl?" And their parents had to do the same thing. Half the time when I tried to talk it out with the kids they ignored me or spewed hatred and slammed the door over and over and over again till I held it shut. I think not only was this part of her age, AND the 3 yr old stage, (be warned two yr old mommies, its MUCH worse than two Wink ) but it was part of the over kill parenting style of discipline and talking TOO much about it. And sometimes kids display this type of behavior in times of change, allergy, sensetivities, etc. Even a little illness could be to blame, constipation, an on coming cold, etc. Even OVER activity. Alot of overactive lifestyle kids (soccer, play practice, dance, school, playgroup, church, choir, etc) are over stimulated.

Hugs. I think they do get better again in 2nd-5th grade Wink then those hormones start kickin in again...then they're just like 2 yr olds in bigger bodies Lol

tialee's picture
Joined: 10/29/07
Posts: 2779

My nephew was like this and it was not a phase Sad My sister could never get anyone to sit for him cause he was so bad. Well everyone would punish him all the time cause he was so naughty. Well I do believe kids need to be punished but being positive worked for me. Not to toot my own horn or anything but I am still the only one who can watch him. I started with a point chart where anytime he was acting good I would praise him saying "I am SO proud of you for being SO good you get a point" Even for something as simple as watching tv I would tell him I was proud of him for not fighting with his sister over the remote. The thing with him is me niece is the only other child and boy is she the PRINCESS. Nobody wpuld ever listen to his side cause she was always right since he was older. POOR GUY
He is good for me cause he knows I will hear him out and if his sister is mean to him she will also get a time out and not be let to go without being punished like always. Now everytime I go to watch him he asks for the chart and they love to get the points. He knew how proud I was of him when he was good (Cause I always told him) so he did not want to let me down. I guess he felt like he let everyone else down and he did not want to ruin it with me. I just think some kids need more attention than others and he is just one of them. Good luck with your son:) HUGS