I posted this with my Nov Gals but wanted to get your feedback as well. I really respect you gals and need all the help I can get
Ive been thinking for the last couple weeks that maybe I dont want any more kiddos. I talked to DH a bit yesterday about it and of course he is no help at all, cause he can go either way. Lately Ive realized that maybe we've waited too long and now Im not sure I want to go back to no sleep and no freedom. Right now Zylin is at that stage that he is doing really great about being by himself playing, getting ready to potty train , sleeping through the night 80% of the time, etc. He also really thinks of himself as a baby...really...ask him not a big boy When I hold other peoples babies he gets really insanely jealous and flips out. I dont know what to do. On one hand Im not sure if its my responsibility to provide him with a sibling, which he may or may not like anyhow, nor do we know if they would even be close as they get older...or if its ultimately our decision to just have one and let it be what it is. I mean we're not going to go out and get "fixed" or anything drastic. Just not really sure what to think. Last year, I was so ready to have a baby and not I feel like its too late, and I dont really have the same yearning I did. Any advice?
This is a hard decision for you and I can tell by the way you sound. As for me, I always knew I wanted at least 3 children. I grew up with 2 brothers, 2 sisters, and a super close cousin. They were everything to me....everything. They still are. We are all close, not as close as I would like though.
I do want to say I am glad you are not getting fixed, b/c one of my sister's DH's did, and then they wanted another, so he got reversed, but it took forever. My other sister's DH got fixed, and she wanted another down the road, but they never got it reversed. Getting "fixed" is something Randall nor I will do (just our own preferences...no offense to anyone) until we are too old to have children b/c I have seen the pain in both my sisters' faces.
As for waiting, I think it's fine to wait. I honestly thought I was ready to try for another when Ruthie was PT'd. Randall wasn't. I cried for a while b/c I wanted another, but I finally came to realize I wasn't ready. Then, Randall was ready, and I wasn't. It was really crazy, b/c I felt bad b/c I knew I wanted Ruthie to have a sibling, but I was not ready. Later on, we finally discussed everything and we both realized we were ready. That's when this one was conceived. I think it's perfectly normal to go back and forth. Sometimes I think I am crazy b/c Ruthie sleeps all night, PT'd, very independent, and all around a decent child. Here I go starting all over again, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Ok, I rambled enough. I just want you to know that I've been in your shoes, and it's okay to not know just yet.
Sadie- mommy to Ruthie & Randy
I think it's a totally personal decision and no one can tell you what to do. I always thought I wanted a big family, six kids, farm house, two dogs, three cats and a rabbit and to be a sahm. Now my dreams have totally changed. We live in a condo, I work and I love working (not so much my actual job), we don't have any dogs or a rabbit (although we do have the two cats) and I am perfectly content with just Patrick and my two stepsons and when people ask me if I'm going to have another, I honestly say, I don't know. Right now, it's up in Gods hands. I don't want another one right now, but at the same time, I can't say that in six moths or three years or however long it is, I won't want another one.
I completely agree that it is a personal decision and only you and your husband can make this choice. Asking everyone else for their advice does not help because they are not you.
If you like your child being an only child, then be done. If you think you would like another one but want to wait, then wait for awhile.
You will figure out what is best for you.
I will tell you my story. My husband and I had 2 wonderful kids and were talking about him getting the big V. Each time we talked about it, one of us came up with a reason to wait for awhile. Then I got pregnant with my youngest and we both immediately knew that was what we were waiting for. WE both did not think we were done but once i got pregnant we knew our family was complete. You will have a moment that makes you realize what is right for you. I wish you luck in coming to the right decision for you.
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wow, I couldn't agree more with what the others have already said. It's a decision that only you and your DH can make....best wishes to whatever you decide.
Kayson 10-9-06 & Cohen 02-08-10
It is a very personal decision and everyone will make their own.
Believe it or not, if you had another he would adjust just like you. Claire was fairly independant and played by herself, then when I had Parker she became a little more clingy and wanted more attention. I was expecting it cause suddenly a baby needed me almost 24/7.
She did adjust and now they are typical sibilings. Playing one minute...fighting the next As a personal thing I never wanted to have an only child. I knew that there would always be at least two. Dh and I both still want a large family too.
I also agree to not do anything 'drastic' that way you can wait awhile and if you change your mind, no big deal. It sounds like right now you ae ok with waiting. Go with your gut.
[QUOTE=scrapangel;6414376]I completely agree that it is a personal decision and only you and your husband can make this choice. Asking everyone else for their advice does not help because they are not you. QUOTE]
WHAT!! You're not going to make the decision for me?! Dang!