Update on adoption situation

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sewgirly's picture
Joined: 01/01/06
Posts: 1496
Update on adoption situation

How incredibly frustrating! Our SW sent our homestudy when I first posted about this, not sure the day right now. So, the agency called her Friday to let her know that they needed the date our criminal background check was completed. Mind you they HAD the results but said they needed the date and that wasn't written into the homestudy. So she faxed the info this morning to them and I get home to an email that said they had all the info they needed to submit our homestudy. I'm thinking Yippee Skippee! Then the phone rings and its the agency this little guy is being serviced by and the lady let me know that the case worker cut off his submissions YESTERDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :argh: Which means that b/c they didn't have the stupid date of our background check and my SW sent it 2 days after they asked for it (not sure what took her that long but I'm sure if she knew to rush she would have) so we don't even get considered for this child. I COULD JUST CUSS!!!!! I so was not sure I was ready to do this and its one thing to not be chosen, but really, we don't even get it submitted now b/c some stupid thing like that.

I was driving in to work this morning and the gospel station I listen to ran an ad about Youth Villages that handles foster families, saying they are in need of foster families. No wonder? I'm 100% fed up with state agencies! No wonder these kids sit forever waiting for them to get it together. Isaiah sat in the system for 3 whole years and this little guy has been there since Oct. of 07. Both instances, rights had been terminated. I'm a woman with 3 degrees and I can't for wrap my mind around a reason that this is justified!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My goodness, nothing else to say I guess. I said all along that if God doesn't think its our time then nothing will come of this and I guess its still true but I just can't see this one making sense.

It's 4:30 in the afternoon and I think I'll just go to bed!!!!

StateChick's picture
Joined: 03/22/07
Posts: 3629

Kelly, I can't imagine the frustration, heartache, not-knowing, maybe/maybe not...and who knows what other emotions that you must have felt through this entire process.

On the bright side, you were able to open your heart up to the possibility again!! I know it didn't end happily, but you did it.

Anyway, I don't really know what to say, but still praying for you...I definitely don't understand God's timing either.

coolmama72's picture
Joined: 10/20/01
Posts: 8185

oh, Kelly, I don't get it!!!! that really irks me, all over a date when everything else was there.

the system sucks, no doubt about it.

would you foster? my cousin and her husband struggled with infertility, and ended up fostering a newborn last year. they've had him for about a year now, and parental rights were just terminated, so they hope to be able to adopt him in the next year.

scrapangel's picture
Joined: 10/05/07
Posts: 807

I can not imagine how frustrating this must be for you and your husband. But I agree that on a good note, you were able to or were open to trying again which is something.

AshnBill's picture
Joined: 11/06/06
Posts: 5333

What!?! Oh my gosh, are you freakin' kidding me? And they won't let it slide because of a date??? This system is seriously messed up.

I am so sorry Kelly!! :bighug:

Joined: 03/17/08
Posts: 1391

Oh, Kelly. That is just so messed up. I have typed and deleted and typed and deleted about fifteen times...I guess I just really don't know what to say. I want to cuss for you! (And btw, if I were you I would definitely be cussing!!!) I am really, really, sorry. :bigarmhug:

Joined: 06/04/07
Posts: 1368

OMG, there's got to be some sort of appeal rights. That's just wrong and it's nothing that you've done to cause this. I so would be contacting the state about this, starting with the SW's supervisor and moving on up until they do something about it. That's horrible, it just makes no sense how they can remove a good potential couple from adopting on a technicality caused by a county/state agency. I would be so angry. Channel your energy and frustration for the change that you know needs to happen. Hopefully, they'll see their errors and reverse that decision. There must be a supervisor that is able to override that decision. It wouldn't hurt to contact an attorney for advice on this one. I am so sorry you're going through this.:bigarmhug:

MommyCB's picture
Joined: 05/04/06
Posts: 7623

I'm beyond words at this point!!!! OH MAN I'M SO UPSET!!! I agree with Tracey completely. The system is so screwed up. Here they let kids just grow old in the system, rather than find loving homes for them because of stupid stupid stupid crap like this. Wow, I'm so sorry!!! Please don't let it drop here. This needs to be appealed.

LMCH's picture
Joined: 02/05/07
Posts: 2031

there are so many kids who need loving homes, like yours...it boggles my mind that there is so much red tape involved in situations like this. :bigarmhug:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Thinking of you!!!!

Joined: 04/08/08
Posts: 807

I am so sorry, Kelly! How horribly frustrating for you! I pray that your time is soon and you will have a child!

captainswife's picture
Joined: 11/25/07
Posts: 2687

I am so sorry for you and your hubby...I can't even imagine all you are going through. You are an amazing couple ! I will keep on praying...but I sure feel like swearing for you too!!!
It reminds me of us trying to take in a foster child here...I thought it would be so easy and we could help a child in need and enrich eachother's lives...meanwhile, they wouldn't even look at our application because we run a daycare from home and apparently that means we would have no time for the child...a child we would be with day and night (with 6 other kids to play with during the day 5 days a week) ...but yet it would be fine if we worked outside the home and sent the child to daycare. Huh?? WHat the hell is wrong with the system?! I feel for you, I really do. And I am so very sorry. :bigarmhug::bigarmhug::bigarmhug:

sadieruth's picture
Joined: 06/09/05
Posts: 6178

This upsets me b/c I know what you are talking about when you say they just sit there. The system is very screwed up. You totally deserve a child and I pray that God will give you one. I am so very sorry. Please don't give up though.

Mommy2007's picture
Joined: 12/13/06
Posts: 1203

wow i don't really know what to say. i can't even begin to imagine how frustrated you are. I can't believe things like that continue to happen.

Will continue to keep you in our thoughts and prayers!!!

K9Trainer's picture
Joined: 09/25/06
Posts: 4065

I am so sorry Kelly. I too agree that the system is so screwed up, though I don't know of any better solutions. We went through foster parent training when Austin was a baby and then had to move to a different county. Noone from that new county would ever return my calls. All we had to do was have a case study done on our new home and we'd be set and it took them like a year to finally call us back. At that point I was fed up!!! A perfectly good, open, loving family wasted cause of the system. Sad Still praying for you friend!

Joined: 10/26/01
Posts: 3413

Kelly ...

I know I don't post much, but I wanted you to know that you've got at least one more person praying for you and your situation. The system sucks. For the kids. For the families wanting to help.

(((HUGS)))

GiGi

Cherrykitten's picture
Joined: 07/03/08
Posts: 700

How frustrating!!! One of my best friends has been trying to become a foster home in california for over a year, and only because her county requires you to be a foster home before you can adopt. so there idea is to place kids that haven't had there rights terminated and then after a year of loving them then they get to find out if they can keep them. It's so sad Sad I volunteer at a local childrens home and the kids want so badly to be adopted but the government needs to get there heads out of there arses!

You should write a letter to your congress person about it. Maybe the can look into why the system is so screwy

slurpeegirl13's picture
Joined: 02/26/07
Posts: 4125

I can't understand it, just as you can't. It makes no sense, when there are so many families out there WILLING and WANTING to accept a child into their home, but to be caught up in red tape! Ugh. :bigarmhug: to you, and sending you positive thoughts!