Am I being selfish??
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Thread: Am I being selfish??

  1. #1
    Prolific Poster PeppermintPatty's Avatar
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    Default Am I being selfish??

    It is going on 3 year now of being a SAHM. Dh works full time and sometimes long days or he is traveling. For the past month and a half, I have becoming increasingly more sore and tired with this pregnancy. On several occasions, I have asked DH for a "break" away from the kids so I can either rest or trying to get my head above water in terms of cleaning, laundry and prepping for this new little one. Everyday, I just do the bare minimum to get by (making breakfast lunch and dinner for the girls) and cleaning up from that, then entertaining the girls so they don't get into trouble and fight with one another. I have no energy by the end of the day left for any housework.

    So, what I am longing for is a day or two where I can focus on other things than the kids! What would be even nicer is to not have to do housework with this "break" but that will never happen!

    Is it selfish of me to expect DH, who works full time to then take the girls for a weekend? I have asked him this, but he turns around and says things likes "I work too. I am tired at the end of the day, too"

    There are times when I think about working full time again--teaching. And, on somedays, it sounds better to me than being home!

    Thanks for reading and letting me vent!
    Sophia- February 1, 2006
    Moriah- June 1, 2009
    Daniel- September 19, 2011



  2. #2
    Posting Addict mandi04's Avatar
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    I wouldn't say it's selfish. I am big believer in that as a stay at home mom the kids and house are my job....but just like any job, moms need a break every once in a while too. It's not like you are asking for every weekend, you are asking for ONE weekend...not selfish
    DD1- July 2004
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  3. #3
    Prolific Poster PeppermintPatty's Avatar
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    Thanks, Mandi.

    Yes, one weekend to refresh myself and to get the house in order. It isn't happening during the week (with being pregnant). I am feeling so overwhelmed right now!!!!
    Sophia- February 1, 2006
    Moriah- June 1, 2009
    Daniel- September 19, 2011



  4. #4
    Mega Poster heatherliz2002's Avatar
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    I don't think it's selfish either. You obviously acknowledge the fact that your DH works and is also tired. I think sometimes they just don't get it because they aren't able to experience pregnancy and what a drain it can be emotionally and physically. I figure that there are days when I let DH sleep in/go out with the guys/whatever, and that should go both ways. We BOTH work, we're BOTH tired, so we need to give each other a break. And when you're pregnant, I think that just goes to a new level. There are extenuating circumstances, so sometimes you just need a little extra help. Plus it would probably be really nice for your girls to have "date" with daddy.
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    Prolific Poster synergy05's Avatar
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    I don't think it's selfish of you, SAHM work just as hard as those who work outside of the home. Would it be possible to have family take the girls for a weekend so you can get things done or just relax?

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    I don't think it is selfish either. Do you think maybe instead of taking a complete break, that DH may pick up a couple of the chores? Or just let the house go one weekend. Don't do much. Just sit around. You can catch back up later.
    Melissa & Josh- Nov 22, 2003
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  7. #7
    Mega Poster ekcanada's Avatar
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    Not selfish at all!!! SAHM is a 24 hour job! You and DH also made the decision to have kids together, there is not reason why he can't give you a break.

    I am also a firm believer that time away from your kids helps you appreciate them (and DH) more and keep the sadness away when you are so hormonal!
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    I don't think its selfish at all. I have to admit that I see work as a break because I honestly work harder at home than I do at my normal job. So to be home 24/7 with no break I'd probably go insane. As much as I love my daughter, shes a lot of work and its draining when you are pregnant. DH parents took her for this week and its been amazing, we have gotten to sleep in because we don't have to get her ready for daycare and we have gotten so may chores completed. But I miss the crap out of her and can't wiat for Friday! You def need a break.
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    Posting Addict Prudence's Avatar
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    Nope! My Hubby is going out of town to visit his parents for a week- and he's taking all of the kids! While I'm looking forward to sleeping in a day or two, I'm so not looking forward to a whole week of boredom. BUT- if you need it, you need it.
    Prudence

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    Prolific Poster MandyMommyto1's Avatar
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    Sure he works full-time, but I guarantee it's easier than staying home with 2 little girls and being pregnant to boot! Plus he gets evenings and weekends off from his job...being a SAHM is a 24/7 job. If I were you, I'd tell him to man up and contribute - I don't let my DH get away with that attitude. When he's home in the evening and on the weekend, he knows he's on baby duty I do as little as possible.
    Amanda, 31
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