Baby Name Frustrations! VENT!

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BloomingRose's picture
Joined: 12/03/08
Posts: 992
Baby Name Frustrations! VENT!

Does anyone else have major issues agreeing on a name with hubby? I swear I'm ready to slug hubby! :angry4:

We've always sat down together and made a list of names and go from there. Heather was always our name for a girl, and when we had her, we had one of those hypothetical convos about "if we ever had more kids and it was a girl, what name would we use" - remember girls are rare in the family, and heather was a huge shock, so that's how that convo came to be. So, before even knowing it, we named our next kid right then and there - Hailey Marie. So when we had our 3D u/s last year, Hailey was already named, we agreed we both still liked it and that's what we were sticking with.

With this baby, we didnt start doing the name thing till we found out... so after we found out, right away I started with the whole, sooo, what are we gonna name this little girl? Right away he picked a name that HE reallly likes, before we sat down together to look at baby name lists online. Sooo, we eventually sat down, went online and made an extremely SMALL list of girls names we both thought were ok. I've asked and asked about what we're going to use, and basically, can we please sit down and sort it out. I haven't had ANY such luck. He just says crap like "I have a name but you don't like it". heather even asks what we're naming the baby and occasionally she'll say "well, daddy loves (insert name here)", because she's heard him say he really likes that name so many times.

Last week I tried again, and he said "soon". So, then I asked the next night, and said so, HOW soon are we going to get a name picked, time is running out! His response was, we'll get it sorted and done this weekend "the one we just finished, it was a long weekend here in Canada" so I thought great, some of the major things will be done this weekend. Well, what did we accomplish? We painted our bedroom and set up her crib. NO NAMES WERE DISCUSSED! :argh:

I asked ONCE on Saturday when we weren't doing anything, and got ignored. I asked once on Sunday and again, got ignored. I refused to ask yesterday because I simply woulda beat the hell out of him if I got ignored again! :violent2: So last night we're in bed, and every night he talks to her, rubs my belly, gives it a kiss and says he loves her, tells her to settle down in there, all sorts of stuff. Well last night he starts talking and says "Mommy's gonna name you Alisha" right away I stopped him and said HUH? That's not the name I said I kinda liked!! So he looks at me and says "well isn't it?" Uh, nope! So then he continues, so I patted my belly and said, that's ok, your daddy wants to name you Harriet, and I most certainly am not considering Alisha. Your daddy either just doesn't pay attention to what I say or simply forgot what I thought of". - Neither of these names are being considered, and I have no issues with the names, just not names I like for our kids.

Well that sparked it. He looked at me and said "I really do like (insert name here)", then carries on saying, but you don't like it, why are you so dead set against that name? I said first of all, I'm NOT dead set against it, just unsure if it's something I can agree on. Next, you said we'd finalize her name this weekend, I asked twice and got ignored, so wtf.

At that point I could feel my anger levels raising and then I felt like I was gonna cry. I held it together, but i was NOT happy about it, and still not. Seriously. I'm having issues, we're not sure what's going on exactly, and yet he's acting like that over a name. I WANT to have a name picked for her before I go into labour, last thing I want or need is to be struggling with a name after she's born, kwim? I'm also going to have my laptop with me in the hospital, so I'll be able to go online and register her, fill out the forms for child tax etc, rather than mailing everything in. I kinda need a name to do that!

Anyone else in that situation? I hate that it's a battle to pick and choose. ANd I've even tried to see if my name and his name would go together, and nope, it just doesn't work. I like flowing names and this just don't work. Our kids are Christopher Mitchell, Cameron Alexander, Heather Anne, & Hailey Marie. These 2 names just don't sound right no matter which way I put them, so we can't even comprimise. SIGH.

I'm about ready to just say hey, you don't wanna sit with me and figure it out, so go ahead, name her whatever you want. I'm exhausted from other things going on and I seriously can't handle this mini war of naming her :shrug:. Before with the other's it was always done a month or so before, this time we knew right away what she was, so really, we should have had something by now, once we really sit down to discuss it never takes too long, and here I am, possibly only have 3-4 weeks left, and still no name. To me that's a huge major thing that MUST be done asap and it may never happen at this point :cry:

bamsmom's picture
Joined: 05/05/07
Posts: 1635

Simply put ... YES! We have 1 name, but we need 2 :rolleyes:
We also cant agree! UGH!

Danifo's picture
Joined: 09/07/10
Posts: 1377

No name yet here. We have a list of 5 but can't agree on a final one. We've been stuck at this point for a month and we have to decide very soon!

ekcanada's picture
Joined: 05/06/09
Posts: 1707

We have our names picked out (girl for sure) but we also agree they are up for change when we meet the LO!

I am sorry you are having so much trouble!

Nell4Him's picture
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455

We don't even have a list of boys names yet. I'm choosing not to freak out over it though. I'm convinced that if we have a boy, we will be looking at him and reading names out of a book to each other to find what fits.

But I'm hoping it's a beautiful baby girl and we won't have to worry about it.

skylersmomma's picture
Joined: 04/10/11
Posts: 927

Yes I feel ya, we have a first name but no middle name.
and everytime I bring it up he changes the subject. :confused:
He wont even give a list of middle names he just shuts down the names
I pick.. UHG!!!

Cherrykitten's picture
Joined: 07/03/08
Posts: 700

We've had the name picked out since my last pergnancy. because it was a surprise we had to have a boy and a girl name and we lucked out that we are getting one of each Smile Before we knew it was a girl we had some argument because we couldn't think of another boys name and we used both of our favorite boy names as ds's first and middle names!

Hang in there. Hopefully it will all work out soon.

Joined: 04/24/11
Posts: 1253

We have named the boy but are constantly fighting over the girls name. DH has a name he loves and I don't like it. We just can't come up with one for her, which is hard because it was so easy naming my daughter. I hope you get it sorted out, I know how frustrating it is.

mandi04's picture
Joined: 08/10/03
Posts: 2272

We have pretty much agreed to not even talk about it until the birth. We couldn't agree with DS1 and it's been pretty much the same this time. DS was named soon after birth though and honestly at that time it didn't bother me one bit that he didn't have a name and the hospital still sent out for his birth certificate/SSN, ect. I'd like the baby named within a few hours again but I'm pretty confident when it comes down to it and we see him that something will fit.

heatherliz2002's picture
Joined: 02/02/08
Posts: 2273

Why is it so hard to discuss names with men? I don't understand. We've had a terrible time picking a name for this baby. With DD it was easy because we agree on girls' names. We even had a girl name picked out for a second baby before I got pregnant. But we have never agreed on a boy's name. Ever. We've picked a name, but we still really don't agree! Lol! He vetoed about a hundred names that I liked (slight exaggeration) and then I picked one and just wore him down over time! He did pick the middle name though, so I guess it was something of a compromise. Wink
Good luck getting your husband to discuss it! I hope you can agree on something soon!

mandi04's picture
Joined: 08/10/03
Posts: 2272

Lol Heather I feel like I could have written your post! Our name conversations were pretty much me throwing out names I liked (not loved mind you, I would be fine with having a name that I *like*) and him saying no. He has 3 names he likes, one is okay but it's just way too close to DS1's name and the other two aren't even possibilities in my mind. This weekend I went and told his sister my favorite and she started in on him about why he doesn't like it and he said it was 'okay', which I think is a pretty big step forward Lol I just feel bad because I picked our other kids names. The girls were easy, the first names I suggested to him he agreed to...middle names and all. With DS I had a favorite and he had a favorite and after the birth he suggested we go with my favorite and then because of family tradition on his side DS has DH's first name as his middle. I'm willing to let dh have the middle name again Wink

nori_garsi's picture
Joined: 10/31/06
Posts: 2069

We are like Janelle, we don't even have a list yet. We tried talking about it on our trip to Solvang but Chris had so much to drink it wasn't a very good conversation. I already know I don't like his names and he doesn't appear to like mine. We agreed we would try again this weekend. Part of the problem is we haven't been alone for a month so I think we need to sit and talk about it just the two of us.

Disneykat's picture
Joined: 01/02/07
Posts: 486

We've always had an easy time coming up with a name. DH takes me to agree o the middle name.

Let me tell you some for the names I have vetoed in the last 4 years:

David Beckham
Jack Bauer
D'Brickishaw
Edson(Pele- soccer players name)
Aloyisus
Bryan Robson(though I did agree to Robson for DS' middle name)

Nell4Him's picture
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455

"Disneykat" wrote:

We've always had an easy time coming up with a name. DH takes me to agree o the middle name.

Let me tell you some for the names I have vetoed in the last 4 years:

David Beckham
Jack Bauer
D'Brickishaw
Edson(Pele- soccer players name)
Aloyisus
Bryan Robson(though I did agree to Robson for DS' middle name)

At least he's being slightly creative. All I get from DH is ...

Bob

nori_garsi's picture
Joined: 10/31/06
Posts: 2069

I like your DH's names Katie, lol.

The only names Chris has really given me are Christopher and Allan, which are his first and middle names. I know a few Christophers and it's such a common name i really don't think I want to go with it. We actually met three Christophers when we were in Solvang. As far as Allan goes, I just don't like it. I don't want to say that to him but I don't. I just told him it didn't feel right.

BloomingRose's picture
Joined: 12/03/08
Posts: 992

"Nell4Him" wrote:

At least he's being slightly creative. All I get from DH is ...

Bob

OMG does your hubby hang out with mine, because that's what I get sometimes too! What is it with everyone just saying "Bob" or "Sally" when they can't figure out anything or just being smart a$$es?

Glad I'm not the only one having issues, it's really annoying and I really don't get why he can't be more serious about it rather than say, "Well I gave you a name". There's MORE than just that name sheesh. :rolleyes: