BTDT - Aggression from LO towards unborn baby? XP

13 posts / 0 new
Last post
ekcanada's picture
Joined: 05/06/09
Posts: 1707
BTDT - Aggression from LO towards unborn baby? XP

Did anyone find that their LO's were aggressive towards the baby before it was born?

Hayleigh has started to hit my belly. And when we ask her if she wants to be a big sister she says "no, baby"

Should I be concerned?

skylersmomma's picture
Joined: 04/10/11
Posts: 927

I have no advice to offer, but I know skyler has had some anxeity about kesler coming sometimes he hits my belly, he has sum special needs so we have been working thru it with therapy and his pyschatrist(sp)

mandi04's picture
Joined: 08/10/03
Posts: 2272

Well, DS certainly hits my belly and climbs all over it...but he'll be 19 months tomorrow and doesn't have the slightest clue there is a new baby coming. I actually haven't even bothered trying to explain it to him. We explained it to DD1 (who was 20 months when DD2 came) and she would call my belly 'baby' but when the baby actually came home with us...you could definitely tell she wasn't expecting it. I'd say just be patient, when DS is climbing all over my belly or hitting I just hold his hand and tell him to be nice, but he is younger.

ekcanada's picture
Joined: 05/06/09
Posts: 1707

It is not climbing (she understands she has to be gentle). She is actually winding up and hitting me

nori_garsi's picture
Joined: 10/31/06
Posts: 2069

Brandon is older but he had a period at the beginning of the pregnancy where he was acting out and it was definitely baby-related. Right now he is excited about the baby but I do wonder how it's going to be when the baby is actually here.

I don't think you need to be concerned at all though. I think it's natural for little ones to be apprehensive or anxious about having a new baby around and they all express that in different ways.

Nell4Him's picture
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455

I had "hitting" issues with Jacob when I was pregnant with Daniel, but I didn't see it as aggression to the baby, just frustration with whatever.

We ended up buying him a blow up punching bag and told him that when he wants to hit, he could take it out on that and come talk to me when he felt calmer. He was almost 4, though. :confused: not sure if a 2 year old would quite get it. But it's worth a try. :dontknow:

Daniel is a Jan 09 baby and he's still clueless about baby #3, even though we talk about it to him a lot.

jonibug's picture
Joined: 11/27/06
Posts: 781

Working at the daycare before dd, I saw that a lot. There was one really severe case with a 4yo boy, he would punch and kick his mom's belly. I've also heard of aggression toward baby after it is here, such as the older sibling saying they want to hurt the baby.

I think it is a lot like with a dog - you can't trust the older sibling around the baby until they prove they won't act out. But it really is completely normal. At this point when dd hits or kicks (not aggressively, just playing) I just tell her it isn't ok to be mean to me and then redirect her.

Joined: 02/01/11
Posts: 67

My oldest was 2y 9m when my second was born. In the beginning of that pregnancy she acted out a lot saying "no baby" and swatting at my belly. But when baby came she has never shown any aggression and has really been a wonderful big sis. She is beyond excited to have another baby in the house. My second daughter will be just shy of 2 when this baby gets here...I have a feeling it will be a very very different story with her. She's oblivious that baby is coming or what to expect. She is much more clingy and wants my attention more than my first daugther ever did. So, I'm expecting some behaviors from her.

Joined: 11/07/06
Posts: 707

Ds#4 is 3.5 and usually is very loving toward the baby (IE. my belly). He talks to her and hugs her and stuff but if he gets angry at me for some reason he tells me he is going to "hit" the baby or he comes up and tells my belly "bad baby". I'm not to worried about it as of now....

lamonsgrl's picture
Joined: 09/18/04
Posts: 1023

It actually sounds normal unfortunately. They don't know how to deal with their emotions at that age. Maybe you could try to sit and talk with her and explain to her that hitting may hurt you or the baby? Sometimes they understand alot more than we think they do.

cherylfhorn's picture
Joined: 08/24/08
Posts: 600

I would try sitting down and talking. Ask why she doesn't want the new.baby? Maybe try to tell her all the fun things she can help with when the baby comes. Make her feel like you are.going to need her to help you a lot so she feels like she will.still be important. I know she's young but I think shell understand.

Scilla's picture
Joined: 03/29/11
Posts: 259

Can't say I have physical aggression here... I don't really have LO's anymore.. My boys are 9 and 6. My 6yr old gives my belly hugs and kisses all the time. My 9yr old however has nothing to do with me, let alone his new brother right now. And he rarely comes home anymore anyways. I hope he comes around and loves his baby brother.. I hate seeing my son like this.. he was my first ya know.. And I love him just as much now as I did when he was born!! I just wish he'd knock off his behavior and see that.

heatherliz2002's picture
Joined: 02/02/08
Posts: 2273

I haven't experienced any aggression at this point with Catie, but I do expect there to be some jealousy/whatever as she adjusts to having a sibling, so I've tried to get her involved as much as possible. She "helped" me put all the bedding in the crib, sort through baby clothes, etc. When we talk about "baby brother" I ask her if she'll help me take care of him, and what a big helper she is. A couple of times I've heard her calling her baby doll "baby brother" while she rocks it/feeds it. Who knows if any of this will help when he's actually born, but I figure it can't hurt, right?