So last nite was our first nite home it was horrible ( kesler up intill last nite had been latching on great) but last nite he wouldn't go on he screamed and screamed for over an hour with still no sucess of latching on he was hungry but still wouldn't go on I tried all the holds I could think of no luck I broke down at 4 am and sent curtis for formula as I haven't slept more than a hour at a time since he was born I am exhausted and in pain.
I feel like a failure as a mom and can't stop criing and I'm scared curtis is going to resent me cause I broke down and formula fed . Curtis was great last nite cause when he got home. I was sitting on the floor bawling my eyes out he took kesler and ii got some sleep. I'm still worried that he thinks I'm failing our child. He kisses me on the head and telks me he loves me but this feeling of being a failure isn't getting better
I'm wondering if I am having some post partum depression? I don't know what's wrong with me I can't even pump my boobs they hurt soo bad. I hope things gett better cause skt isn't even home yet and I feel completely overwhelmed
Oh honey!!! You are NOT a failure.
Very similar happened to me when DS#1 was 2 weeks old.. but my problem was I was bone dry.
Is it possible that you are so full that nothing is coming out? Does he latch and then get fussy, or does he simply not latch.
Try hand expressing or pumping until your nipples aren't so engorged and firm and then maybe he can latch on. I have this problem when I'm engorged.. my nips are simply too large for baby to fit in his/her mouth. It's happened with each of my babies.
Keep trying. Bfing releases hormones that can help combat depression. But if you feel yourself slipping deeper into the overwhelming feeling of failure, please see your doctor and talk to them about it. Post Partum Depression is VERY serious IMO and I hate to see women suffer unnecessarily.
We are all here for you, sweetie.
Janelle and Brad 8-25-01
I absolutely and completely understand what you are feeling. I felt the same way when I realized bf'ing wasn't working for us. I cried like crazy. Trust me. No one thinks that you are a failure. Your hormones are all over the place right now. Try to let DH help you out as much as possible and get some rest. Lack of sleep combined with crazy hormones is disastrous. It is ok to feel the way you are feeling. Maybe some of these ladies can give you some great advice to help out with bf'ing. Big hugs sweetie!
Just because you had to give him a bottle (or more) doesn't mean you can't keep trying. Even if you want to or have to formula feed you are NOT a failure! It's tough and ultimately you have to do what's best for both of you, you need your rest to take care of him. Take it easy and if you suspect postpartum depression give your dr a call
DD1- July 2004
DD2- April 2006
DS1- December 2009
DS2- August 2011
I understand how you feel also. We went to formula about 3 days after we got home when I realized again that I am not making enough milk, again. With my son I made it 2 weeks breastfeeding, and this time I didn't even make it a whole week, and I have felt extremely guilty for that, and have cried over it a lot. But I know I shouldn't feel that way, I am doing what's best for my baby, because she was not getting enough to eat and was still losing weight when breastfeeding, and now on formula she is gaining weight how she is supposed to. The important thing is that you do what is best for your baby, and you.
You are not a failure! Having a csection can really delay your milk coming in... my milk takes at least 4 days to come in after a vaginal birth and this time it took 5 days to come in. Babies do just fine on colostrum until your milk comes in... just keep at it! I've been crying lots too, it's the sleep deprivation/exhaustion/hormones... perfectly normal!! Most women get hit with the baby blues the first week as they call it... it gets better!
you are not a failure!!! the number one rule that you need to follow is feed the baby! formula was created for things like this. Just keep trying. it really sounds like you are engorged. i know the pump hurts but you really need to get it out. try taking a nice warm shower and let the water run from the back of your neck and down your front. And take some ibuprofen to help reduce the swelling in your breasts. You can also try 15 minutes of cold compress if the warm doesn't help.
With dd I got so engorged i was in tears every time something rubbed against them but it got better after 48 hours when my body started to regulate it.
If you need to talk i'm here, just send me a pm and i'll send you my number. But please don't feel like a failure
IBCLC Intern, Almost there!!!!
Wyatt Rett 2-27-09
Reagan Jean 9-15-11
Moderator of Everything Breastfeeding!
Co-Moderator of September 09
You aren't a failure. I had similar issues when Brandon was born. I was able to bf but I had to supplement. I was very sad and felt so guilty but it was what was best for us. You need to make sure youre taking care of yourself too. Make sure you gets some rest and talk to your doctor about how you're feeling. I hope te bf gets better for you. Even if bf doesn't work out, there is nothing wrong with giving him formula.
Out of curiosity what kind of pump are you using? My milk didnt come in until day 5 and Brandon was jaundiced and they wouldn't let me bf. I was horribly engorged and I tried a hand pump and it hurt so much I had to stop. The next day they got me an electric and it hurt much less and I finally found some relief.
Lenora & Chris 01.16.10
DS Brandon 05.13.07
DS CJ 10.06.11
*Co-moderator of January-June '07 and September '11*
Thank u ladies . Sorry I tardy on my reply. Well myu mw came and she said I'm so engorged but also being a red head my nipples are sensitive
I still can't use aa pump hurts to much. But I used hot facecloths before I put him on and using a nipple shield. I'm still triing but feel better that I can atleast get him on
I can only manage tO keep him on for 15 mins a feed but atleast its something
Thank u all for your support. Ill update more when I'm on the computer I'm on my phone triing to sEnd this msg
Jen, I'm also a redhead and I'm still in pain with the BF and Markus is 11 days old. This may not make you feel better right now but for me it always took 4-6 weeks before breastfeeding "didn't hurt". When my babies first latch it's a horrible stinging pain and then I have pain with letdown and then it's comfortable. It gets so much better over time, the pain doesn't last forever. I know it's hard to get through, I didn't keep at it with my first son and had a lot of issues with guilt. I know now that I just didn't have enough support and guidance and that all these issues are NORMAL especially with redheads! I also cannot get one drop with the pump and I have a hospital grade one. I need to go all day without nursing before the pump will get anything out of me as baby is removing the milk. Remember also that the pump is NOT an indicator of your supply. I pumped for 30 minutes yesterday and got NOTHING. Markus is peeing and pooping all day long so I know he is getting it out!! Hang in there