Man I feel like I am such a whimpy lately..every little thing makes me tear up..I feel like I have no friends. DH goes to see his buddys at least 1-3 times a week. I have a friend who I've known forever that I see on Thursday nights, for game night (we meet with her other friends and play board games) but she cancels it a lot, and it's from 5-9, I can never make it over until about 7:00. So I only get to hang out for barely 2 hrs before its over. I mean I just feel like she's not THAT great of a friend if she doesn't want to hang out except once a week, if that, and she sets TIME limits.
I have a few acquaintances, but I barely ever see them. and I have a BFF, she lives in Kentucky and is FINALLY moving back to ohio (her dh just got out of the army) but right now she's visiting HIS family in WV for a few weeks, and I mean I just cant wait for her to get back, so I actually have someone to hang out with.
DH asked me if he could go to his friends house a few min ago...im like "you JUST saw him the other day" but I guess it's not right of me to deny him seeing his friends, just because I dont have any.
I suppose if i had somewhere to go, I would want to go too...
anyways...how often do YOUR DH's go out?? sometimes DH and i will get in to heated arguments about what the "appropriate amount of time to see your friends" is. He will go there lets say on a friday night, from 6pm to 6am in the morning, then sleep most of the day the next day...I find that to be ridiculous...having sleepovers at 24. but he says its so he can drink and not drink and drive, so he stays the night there. I dont know if i am just jealous that he has friends and i dont, or if he is being selfish..or both...
Do you have a hard time making friends?
I have tried several things to get my self more social...starting my own game night, starting a book club, etc..just SOMEthing to get people to come over...I'll even go all out and buy everyone food and drinks and I feel like sometimes I am PAYING for people to hang out with me...but every thing usually falls through, and people don't stick with the game nights or whatever...and end up not showing up eventually.
anyways I am just bummed because DH is out with his friend [AGAIN] and here I am, feeling lonely and sorry for myself [AGAIN] lol.. this sounds lame but what can I do to make more friends???
We moved away from most of my friends so now I'm kind of left with the moms that are my kid's friends' parents and I just haven't worked up the 'courage' to call them about anything other than the kids. I guess part of it is my dh works SO much that I don't really have time without the kids as much as I'd love it. As far as how much my dh goes out...it really just depends. Seems like he goes in spurts and we're in not such a good spurt right now. He went out Saturday, he's gone tonight, he went out last Thursday night. Getting him to spend his days off here...AND not on the couch watching tv/playing video games....is like pulling teeth. It's not always like this though. I know part of it is his 'response' to baby time being so close. I have to remind him often to spend time with the kids though. His hours half the week are 8am-8pm...on those days he sees the kids awake all of 20 minutes in the morning. Then of course if he decides to go out after work with his friends on a night he only works until 6, he's not home until after bedtime then either.
DD1- July 2004
DD2- April 2006
DS1- December 2009
DS2- August 2011
I don't have a DH but hanging out w his buddies a few times s week seems excessive to me as well. There is no way in hell is let mine spend the night every weekend & then let him sleep all the next day. It's called responsibility!
As far as u having friends. I'm in the same situation. I only have 3 girlfriends that I'm close with. Honestly I don't see them hardly at all. I've gone sometimes 2 & 3 months w/o seeing them.2 of them have 2 yr olds & the other had 3 kids, 2 in college 1 in middle school. I talk to them on the phone usually once a week but that is all. Unfortunately as we get older that happens. Since I live alone there are some days where I am really lonely. You are not alone!
Where in ohio are you Cheryl? I am in Columbus.
DH doesn't have alot of friends. I have friends but I am terrible about getting together with them because since moving here 5 yrs ago, honestly I feel so awkward and have not found a group of friends I can fully be myself around. It takes a while for me to get to that point with people. (my sense of humor can be a bit out there and not everyone "gets it")
Dose that sound weird?????
I tried joining a moms club. Felt out of place with them because I was not a full time SAHM and my husband didn't make tons of money so I felt lie I didn't fit the mold, PLUS DRAMA. i didn't want to be part of that AT ALL
Yep, I'm weird
Last edited by Disneykat; 07-26-2011 at 10:25 PM.
Wife to Derek 8/12/06
DD Marisa 11/9/07
DD Shayna 8/27/09
DS Joseph 8/27/09
DD Simone 9/12/11
Why dont your Dh's friends come to your house sometimes? i understand anyones want to get together with friends, but its also not fair to leave the kids on you when you rarely get a break! um, and dont YOU bring in $$? just sayin..
Brian never goes out with his friends. his friends get together once a year for a golf tournament and thats about it. he isnt a social butterfly and is completely content being at home. me ont he other hand, while i have no urger to go OUT, i do wish my friends were closer. my mom is an hour away and i rarely see her. One of my best friends lives 2 hours west of me and rarely see her. my other best friend moved to FL so i see her once a year. so its me, hubbie DD and work 7 days a week. i have no girls to go shopping with or to have lunch with, which has been difficult since im pregnant and i was looking forward to that part of it. i love my family, dont get me wrong, but i am so sick of tired of watching tv. Dh doesnt know what family time without tv is...
Hey DISNEY KAT, you sound like MY kind of a girl! wish we lived closer.
Looks like we all have a lot in common. It sucks how when we get older, all of our friends dissapear. I used to have TONS of friends, most of them were mutual friends of DH and I (since DH and I have been friends for 10 years!) but once we got married, non of our mutual friends really hung out with me anymore, they are more of HIS friends now. DH told me its because they all used to "like" me and once I married him, they feel awkward around me because they don't want dh to think they are hitting on me like back in the day. LOL I said well that sucks! I said guys and girls can still be friends, even after married.
Katie, I feel the same way! I feel like every time I meet another woman and TRY to be friends with her, we are just too different. my bff and I often joke about how we can never find anyone like each other when we meet new people, we compare them to each other and there's no comparison! lol.
Laura, some times his friends do come over, but especially being pregnant, all I want to do in the evenings is take my bra off, and chill in my pjs on the couch like a bum lol. then when he tells me someones coming over I get mad because I am like "I cant even relax in my own house!" I don't want to walk around his friends with my boobs hanging out, looking like an old ugly house wife in my pjs!! LOLLL
DH asked me yesterday though, if I would mind if they moved his Friday game nights to our house, because it's bigger than his friend's apartment and he said "this way you won't get mad because I won't be leaving the house" LOL..I said well I suppose that's fine, but most likely they will still be up all night goofing off, and that means his friends will stay the night, DH told them that I was fine with them coming over, as long as I dont have 10 guys sleeping in my living room. LOL I said yes if they want to stay the night they can sleep in the finished basement. lol
We moved to the area in February and I've made a few acquaintances through church and I have a childhood friend who lives in the area, but I have no really best friends here. I know a couple of other ladies that are w/in an hour's drive from us who are military and we were stationed with in Italy, but we've only seen each other a couple of times since we moved here. DH doesn't have any friends yet, per se, except the people he works with. We've done dinner/lunch with his main work buddy and his wife and kid twice now. All that to say, DH doesn't go out at all with buddies... mostly because he has no close ones here. I'd probably encourage him to go out every other week for a night if he had some buddies here. He's the kind of guy that needs the encouragement to socialize. I try and do something once every other week with a friend/acquaintance, but I'm dragging my kids along, so it's not like I get "me" time. I know DH would let me go out one night a week if I wanted to/had the opportunity to socialize though.
Meli - this situation would make me cry as well! Dh never goes out with friends but I like to go out once in awhile and he didn't understand why (I am talking once a month). We have sorted it out but it is a really tough situation.
My SO NEVER leaves the house to hang out with his friends. He is very much a homebody. Once in a while (once or twice a month) we both may venture to see his parents in Queens but that's about it. He has one friend in Vineland, NJ but I've never gone to see their place. My SO has not gone there since we've been together. Sometimes I'd wish he get out more.
As for me I have one close friend but we are not really on speaking terms at the moment. Other than family (cousins, sisters, niece - she's only 4 years younger than me and old for her age) I really don't get out much myself. The way I've been feeling I haven't really wanted to go out. It also doesn't help that we are all the way in Staten Island AND there's a $13! toll to the bridge any time anyone wants to come visit us.
#1 - Thalia Elizabeth - born 9/1/2011, 9:40am 3lbs. 15oz, 16"
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