having a bfing fight with myself!

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LizzyLaw06's picture
Joined: 05/20/07
Posts: 497
having a bfing fight with myself!

With DD i NEVER nursed in public. I am a very shy and conservative person. we supplemented with formula from beginning cuz she was tongue tied until her one week checkup so couldn't get a good latch. then when we were out in public i formula fed her and if wasn't able to send enough pumped bm to the baby sitter she would use formula if need be.

so the fight with myself is that i keep thinking to myself and considering i may try to bf in public. just the thought kinda terrifies me. but if Addisyn starts bfing well and i don't have to supplement i'd like to. we used the pre measured formula packs and just a bottle of water. that was much easier than dealing with the cool pack of expressed bm. and i saved the expressed bm for the babysitter when back at work.

i just don't know if i'll be able to bring myslelf to whip out the boob at the dinner table at a restaurant or something if it came to it. thought i'm trying to convince myself.

my state allows bfing moms to nurse in any public place, but i RARELY see it actually happen. that's one reason why i think i have the issue with myself doing. i'm not the kind of person to be able to shrug off the stares i know i'll get.

help!

Disneykat's picture
Joined: 01/02/07
Posts: 486

Get (or make ) one of those bfing covers. I have been thinking f doing that because I am not one to bf in public either.

LizzyLaw06's picture
Joined: 05/20/07
Posts: 497

"Disneykat" wrote:

Get (or make ) one of those bfing covers. I have been thinking f doing that because I am not one to bf in public either.

i have one. i got one of the free ones(except shipping) that uddercovers.com offered. i plan on taking it to the hospital with me for when family is there and seeing how that goes. when in the hospital with DD i wouldn't even let family in the room with me while feeding.

Joined: 07/12/06
Posts: 831

You can do it!!! It really is easy once you have developed a good bf'ing relationship. I think NIP is becoming more and more popular.

Joined: 07/12/06
Posts: 831

The nursing covers make a big difference. I have like 4 of them. Wink

morel_baby's picture
Joined: 03/04/07
Posts: 194

Lurker...

I wasn't really into nursing in public, but would/could do it if I had to. Most of the time I would nurse in the car before going into some place so that I had some privacy.

When I did have to nurse in public or around other people I found that using a blanket worked well. Once the baby is able to latch on it is really easy to have them latch and keep covered with a blanket.

Good luck!

Joined: 04/24/11
Posts: 1253

I breast feed my daughter in public whenever needed. It took a while to get comfortable with it but once I was, it was so much easier. You don't have to worry about warming bottles up and you always have enough food for them. I just used a recieving blanket to cover up and would try to find a breatfeeding room if I was in a really crowded place.

MandyMommyto1's picture
Joined: 06/27/09
Posts: 534

I thought I would be nervous about it at first too, but honestly you think people are staring when they aren't! The biggest hurdle is your own fear...once I realized it was no big deal, I whipped it out in public all the time, as you practice you'll get better at doing it discreetly. I never even used a cover because DD wouldn't feed while her face was covered. I suggest practicing at home in front of the mirror so you can see just how much is (and is not) visible. It really is SOOOOO much more convenient when you don't have to carry bottles around.

Another thing I found really handy to do was to wear a tube top underneath my shirt. That way my belly and back were covered, so I just lifted up my shirt which largely covers any cleavage that shows, and pulled down the tube top enough to expose one breast to the baby, then you're pretty much covering everything. Plus it helps to support the post baby saggy belly!

Prudence's picture
Joined: 05/02/05
Posts: 256

With my 6 year old- I mostly nursed at home or in the car- I'd even leave the store to go into the car to nurse. I remember trying to nurse under a cover at Disneyland and getting so frustrated and nervous!

With my 3 year old- I was a little better, but still always used a blanket or nursing cover. I think my issue is coordination. I'm just not good at holding baby, ensuring they are doing okay and keeping myself covered.

Good luck! I think the fact that you are thinking about it means that you'll probably just do it one day... I know it shouldn't be such a big deal, but for some of us- it is Smile

heatherliz2002's picture
Joined: 02/02/08
Posts: 2273

I used a receiving blanket or nursing cover (I don't have a problem with anyone who wants to just "whip it out" lol... that was just my personal preference). I think Amanda's suggestion of trying it out in front of a mirror first is great. Don't be afraid to give it a try! Once you've done it once or twice it's not a big deal any more.

Joined: 02/01/11
Posts: 67

I am also a very conservative person who NEVER thought I could NIP, but with my second DD I had no problem once I got past the initial fear. I always wore a nursing tank under my clothing so my belly wouldn't show and used a nursing cover...I got one that was very very neutral and blendedin pretty well. Breastfeeding in general is just not the norm here, but not once did I get a nasty look or comment. I didn't nurse in public when she got older and wouldn't allow me to cover her...I have a very large chest so if she was messing around I was afraid people would see more than I was comfortable with. It was a lot easier than bringing along a bottle, and I could passify her when she hungry almost immediately. I think most really just thought she was asleep I had her covered. I did start NIP by going to a nursing room at the store...not really public, but there were strangers there Smile

bamsmom's picture
Joined: 05/05/07
Posts: 1635

I dont *like* to NIP, but you do what you have to do! In the past I have just used receiving blankets, but this time I did get an Uddercover. I think it is truly mind over matter. If your baby is hungry you need to feed it.. I always make sure that I would feed before I left the house and whatever I wore out was easy to BF in. Good luck... sounds like we have alot of BF Mama's here to give alot of support!

mandi04's picture
Joined: 08/10/03
Posts: 2272

I'm pretty conservative about nursing in public, I've done it and I plan to do it but whenever possible I don't do it where ever I am. It's mostly for me, for instance, I remember driving the the grocery store and attempting to 'top him off' in the car before we went in the store so I wouldn't have to, until I discovered how easy and discreet it was to nurse in the ring sling (I used the 'tail' to cover any part of him/me that wasn't covered). I'd go sit in a corner if we were at the mall or in a store and I'd use a blanket, but not over baby's head...I'd just have it on baby, pretty much right up to their chin so I could quick grab and cover if need be. That's what I'm still most comfortable with. I support NIP, but for me I'm more comfortable not unless it's absolutely necessary. I do have various nursing covers, but I really have only used a nursing cover a handful of times. I do like the look of one I saw at ToysRUs the other day but doubt I'll spend the money on it (Baby Bond, it doesn't cover their head while nursing). I am hoping that this baby takes a bottle so maybe it'd be easier to give a bottle while out....but it really is so nice to not have to take bottles anywhere.

Chimmy's picture
Joined: 08/03/01
Posts: 2775

With my first I was very shy about it then I had twins 18 months later & had no idea how I was going to do it, so I just kind of sucked it up & did it when I had to lol I had to get pretty creative but by the time they were a few months old I had it down to an art & now I honestly don't even think about it - if baby is hungry I nurse. I love it when older ladies smile at me b/c they know I'm nursing - it's sweet. Now that I'm pg with baby #7 I've nursed just about everywhere - airplanes, airports, stores, restaurants, parks, zoo - there's probably not a place I haven't nursed Lol And I'm not a whip it out kinda girl either, it's not hard to nurse quietly, although I don't mind seeing a boob & baby nursing I'd prefer to keep my boobs to myself lol Wink

Joined: 12/21/09
Posts: 344

I wasn't able to nurse at all, but I am pro-breastfeeding and think there's absolutely nothing wrong with any aspect of it.

I love seeing momma's nursing in public, and always try to smile at them as if I approve. Lots of them get too much harassment anyway.
All my friends know I don't care and literally do just whip it out. Wink

Hopefully I can nurse this baby - and it'll take me a looooooong time to work up the courage to NIP and do it discreetly. Wink I know if baby1 had been able to nurse, he would NOT have been any fan of a nursing cover. That thing would have been off faster than you can imagine. lol

lil96's picture
Joined: 03/27/06
Posts: 573

Lurking
With my first the only time (I can remember) getting shy was once when I was at a restaurant with my dad and brother. My baby was maybe 3 wks old. It was really awkward, so I went to the dreaded bathroom rather than sit across the table from them.

With #1, I bfed til she was 22 mo and #2 is still bfing at 20 mo. Honestly it happens so rarely that I have had to NIP. Think about it like this, only the first 6 mo are they purely bfed (or ffed). How often are you out the whole day without a break from other people? KWIM? I know situations always arise, but you can do it Smile

ekcanada's picture
Joined: 05/06/09
Posts: 1707

It is such a mental struggle! I was nervous a first as well but eventually I did it without a cover. My city seems very pro-bf, we see a ton of woman doing it in public.

I hope you find something that keeps you comfortable!

nori_garsi's picture
Joined: 10/31/06
Posts: 2069

Last time I had a lot of problems with BF but this time I'm hoping to EBF. I think as long as I have my cover with me I will be fine NIP, but I'm definitely not one of those who would be comfortable just whipping it out with no cover. I don't care if other people do it I just couldn't. Luckily, most of what we need is pretty close to home and I know which places (like the mall) have nursing area available for moms. I bought the uddercover too and if I'm successful with BF I will probably go buy a few more covers.

katielee83's picture
Joined: 11/13/08
Posts: 493

[QUOTE=MandyMommyto1]I suggest practicing at home in front of the mirror so you can see just how much is (and is not) visible. QUOTE]

I TOTALLY did this and it helped me feel so much more comfortable once I was out in public. I always used a nursing cover too, but I just watned to make sure I was completely covered. A few 'test runs' in front of the mirror really helped boost my confidence about nursing in public.

I also agree with the tube top. Do you have any nursing tanks? Bravado or even the Target ones (like I have) help keep the tummy covered too. Loved them in the beginning (especially at the hospital!!)

Good luck!

Joined: 07/15/07
Posts: 630

I'm going to be going through the same thing when I have DS.

I wasn't able to nurse DD, so it was never a problem. But I'm determined to nurse DS, and that means I'm eventually going to have to do it in public. Eventually.

Here's my plan-

- start my 'public nursing' around safe people. Family, close friends, etc. who won't care if there's accidental boob slippage while we're getting the hang of it.
- buy several nursing covers and use them often, even when I'm at home, just so I get the hang of it
- if I'm out and need to nurse, I'll probably head to the restroom or the truck at first until I'm comfy doing it OUT in public

I'm hoping that I'll be more comfy doing it when I get the hang of using the nursing cover and know that I'm not going to expose myself to an entire store or restaurant. That is my main fear with it.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I never worried about BF in public. I DARE someone to say some thing to me BF in public. lol they would get a face full of mama bear. I usually use blankets to cover up, but they can fall down easily so just the other day I bought this: http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3916758 and I think it's really cute. Smile

Danifo's picture
Joined: 09/07/10
Posts: 1377

I didn't have a problem in public although I did try to be discrete. A calm baby is fine and they don't see anything. A screaming baby that won't let you stay covered up (I had this on a plane) shows a lot more but everyone is trying NOT to look at you.

One time we went to a restaurant and they seated us right by the door, I said I planned on nursing so could we sit somewhere else. So, they moved us to the middle of the restaurant Biggrin

Even though I have no problem in public, I am very self concious around family who doesn't want to see it. At our house they go else where and at their house, I go else where. When I went in with DD1 for a lunch, I also nursed in private. With the women I was fine but I did feel uncomfortable with the guys. It is weird I feel that way when I wouldn't think twice about it at a mall...

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