Home Story...Long story!

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LauraMae78's picture
Joined: 01/10/11
Posts: 969
Home Story...Long story!

need to discuss this with ppl who arent in the family!

I married DH almost 10 years ago. He came with 2 beautiful children, from 2 different moms. No he isnt "that" guy. lol DH is amazing, kind, hard working etc etc. his sons mom is wonderful, no complaints. she takes care of him, we all work together to parent the child and we all know our rolls. always did. He is 15 now.

As i think you all know, i adopted DD almost 4 years ago. My DD mom is a scum bag! her priorities was always drinking, drugs, men and partying. NEVER her children. she has 2 boys that are now 17 and 18. Right before we got married, we starting suspecting that something inappropriate was going on with DD, . she knew terms that you would be floored to know she knew! and she definately didnt learn them from us! one nite we received acall from a family member, apparently DHs cousin was dating DD mothers family member (who also babysat the kids) and we were informed that the older boys were being um, inappropriate, to put it mildly. thefamily had reported it to domestics and they would do nothing with the childs confession to a counselor who is a stranger. of course, DD wanted no parts of it, but did tell us everything which killed us cause there was NOHTING we could do about it. in the end, we talked her mom into giving us custody and in the end, that is all we wanted. so right after we married, she came to live with us. i was step mom, she was mom, but DD always knew where she had it good. here i was newly married, 22 years old and MOM to a 5 old little girl who's mom could care less. it took her mom 2 months to call after she came to live with us, and after that she was never a big part of her life. for the next 6 years, all she did was hurt my DD, make promises she didnt keep, never showed up , or showed up 4 hours late on xmas morning. Again, men and drinking were her priority. when DD started to refuse to go see her, i tried to explain to the mom WHY she felt that way! i did everything i could to make her see the light. we couldnt even get her to keep DD for a full weekend as it cut into her drinking time. after 3 years of this, DH went to court and files for child support, with the thought that if you wont be a mom to the child, atleast you can contribute SOMETHING to her financially. She skipped the hearing and got $42 a week. 3 years later, after refusing to pay it, the courts put a warrant out for her arrest for contempt of court. She payed to get out of it the first time, the second time, she coudlnt come up with the money. She called me and asked if i would adopt her. Now, by this point in time, i was DD's mom! She had refused to spend her week with her mother cause her mother disrespected me to her on the phone. So when i was aksed if i would adopt her, of course i answered YES, without a doubt. I was then told to draw up the papers. she was signing over her rights to DD, no questions. SHe agreed to let me adopt her, all we had to do was get her out of jail (she got 90 days). Now our prisons our packed, so i doubt she would have spent a week in there, just sayin. she begged, we asked DD if that is what she wanted, and she immediately agreed with the decision! DDwas my child in heart after all. May 10th 4 years ago the judge agreed and she became mine! One of the best days of my life.

Everything was great until that following January when i went back to work. DD started to steal out of my room, jewelry that DH bought me anniversary were found in the dryer vents, in her carpets etc. i have very little left. This kid did everything she could to disrespect me. at first i thought she was angry that i went back to work. we did everything we could to be patient and understand, but 3 years later, you run out of ways to discipline for the same thing. DD is a good kid i just didnt understand what was going on. UNTIL, last summer she tells me, after a massive blowup, that she is angry with her mother and is taking it out of me. i asked her how i could help and she wanted a face to face to vent her feeling to her biological mother. we discussed it and at that point were willing do whatever it took to get this situation settled down. my house was a war zone! At the same time, i was going through my own issues with not being able to conceive for years, DH's brother passed away and we tried taking in our nephew (that didnt end well)... DH and i almost fell apart due to the stress so we were willing to do whatever to try to find peace in our home. so we arranged the meeting and it wast the worst decision we ever made! in the end, all her mother did was lie to her some more, which made her think we have been lying to her for years so she got angry at us. after many discussions, we made her understand and all went back to normal. Things got better after that. DH and i spent alot of time on our relationship, we spent alot of time with Brianna and our home turned into a loving home for the first time in 3 years. we gave up on conventional ways to conceive, found a specialist, got tested for everything and in the end had no idea why after 6 years we werent pregnant. so we had our first IUI done, and it worked and here we are. i made it a point to make sure DD understood that this baby is NOT replacing her and that she is and always will be my daughter, and this changes NOTHING. In February i started suspecting something was wrong, he behavior changed again, and i had reasons to believe that she was sneaking behind our back to talk to one of her brothers. no biggie, except that all contact with them had to go through us on our terms, and for good reason. we never forbid her from talking to any of them. SHe got in alot of trouble for stuff she did on the home front (lying etc) and therefor was grounded and the war zone appeared again. DH and i battled alot over DD too. so 2 weeks ago, i discovered (i am cutting out alot of the details) that she was infact sneaking behind our back, figured out the password to our computer and logged onto a FB account that was under a name that we wouldnt find, blocked us and made sure she didnt add friends that we were friends with. Computers are closely monitored in our home and under NO circumstances is she allowed unless we are home. for 2 months, while i was trying to figure out what was going on, she was sneaking around on FB, talking to her BIO mother and her family. her mom even came out to see her (which she is legally not allowed to do) and encourage DD to sneak and lie to us. She told DD that i was useless, i was nothing, not important. im just a step mom and i mean nothing in the circle of life. only her REAL parents are important ETC ETC. i found her email and password and spent hours reading the message that were sent to her FB account and printing the messages. DH called her and threatened legal action if she ever contacted the minor child again. we understand that the mother messed up, big time, but so did DD. But at 14, one is very impressionable, especiall with a woman who is a pro at lying and manipulation. does this woman really believe she could be a MOTHER by talking to her for 10 minutes on FB CHAT??? SERIOUSLY!?!?!?!?! being a mom and being someone to vent to are two completely different thing!! we sat her down and talked to her about everything, again. My BP skyrocketed to the pointed that my nose bled (i know, dangerous). I am at my witts end with all this. DD since then has lied about some seriously stupid stuff! I am not a monster, like most parents, i have my moments when pushed, but i have never hit my child. we are strict, but not overly strict. i am pregnant yet i have a responsibility to my 14 yr old child too. i feel like a failure of a mother and trying to convince myself that i am gonna be good for this baby is quite the task. i mean, if i cant straighten out the kid i have....how am i gonna be a good mom to this baby? i mean, i know im a good mom. however, i cant help but question what i did wrong. DH reminds me everyday that DD #1 is different, she has a history that our DD wont have. DD had a meltdown too and we talked and she doesnt want to contact her mother, but i also know she is confused and i dont know how to help her. Therapy would probably help, but our area isnt known for any beneficial medical professionals. at this point, i am SO stressed out! DH is worried because i get myself so upset that it could cause problems. i dont want to negativeley effect the baby! however, even the small stuff stress me out since i got pregnant! work has become my safe haven lately, here there is little to wrry about. i dread going home, i never know what to expect. everything APPEARS to be civil, but she is good at making everything appear the way she want.

see, now that i am pregnant with a daughter of my own, i just cant understand how her mother could give her up. i would sell my body if it meant i had the money to take care of my kids! She gave her up to save $42 a week!! i am so angry FOR my DD. i can only imagine what she is feeling right now. my heart aches for her andwould do anything to take away her hurt! however, i feel as if there is nothing i can do other than sit back and allow the situation to destroy our family, which i will not allow to happen. i dont want to forbid her from contacting her biological mother, even after all these years. i am aware it could push her farther away in the long run. however, as a parent, we make decisions everyday that is in the best interest of our kids. i do not believe for a second that her mother is good for her at all. and i also believe the DD runs to her when she is angry with me. well she gets angry with me for disciplining her, and i discipline her for LYING!! its like a vicious cycle!! :banghead:

So after all this, i guess im looking for ideas and advice from other mommies. does anybody else have a situation anywhere close to this? AM i doing the right thing? do you have any good discipline techniques that are effective? lol i cant seem to find anything other than grounding from friends, tv, etc etc! BEEN THERE

Sorry this is so long. i wanted to make sure the most relevant stuff was mentioned so that no one got the impression that we were jerks trying to keep a child from her mother.

Thanks for listening!

mandi04's picture
Joined: 08/10/03
Posts: 2272

First off, :bigarmhug: You are a good mom, and you haven't done anything wrong.
I really think she needs someone that isn't family to talk to, I know you said you don't know of anyone local that would be any help but I'd try talking to her school counselor and seeing if they have anyone they'd reccomend. She's at a really tough point in any teen girl's life right now trying to figure out who she is and that may have led her to want to talk to her bio mom, and now she might be worried she's like her bio mom. Given everything she's gone through and the situation I think therapy would probably be the best bet for her.

heatherliz2002's picture
Joined: 02/02/08
Posts: 2273

:bighug: I'm so sorry that things have been such a struggle. You are doing a great job and it's clear that you love your daughter very much. I agree with your husband- because of her history, you're going to deal with issues with her that probably won't come up with the child you're currently carrying. I think it's totally normal to worry about being a good parent (I know I worry about it all the time!) but at the same time you have to recognize that you have extenuating circumstances here. Her behavior is based on a lot of things that have nothing to do with your parenting. I haven't personally dealt with this, but I have several close friends who have/are in a similar situation. I know that therapy has helped them tremendously. It gives their kids an objective place to turn and get out their anger/whatever they're feeling instead of turning to the problem parent or taking it out on you. I know that it's not an option for everyone, but I'd encourage you to maybe try to find a recommendation or something. There are quite a few really great independent agencies out there, and even though it's expensive, I know of several that will work with families to get them the help they need even if they can't afford the full price. Of course that's in my city, but I have to think that if there are some here, there are probably others elsewhere, although they may be hard to find. It's not a magical solution to all problems, but having someone to talk to who is trained to deal with difficult situations like these can really be an amazing resource, especially in a situation when there has been abuse, whether it's physical/emotional/whatever. These kids just have a lot to work through. It's not their fault, they're an innocent victim, but they still have to deal with the consequences of what they've been put through.

I think the best thing you can do for her is to just continue to show her that you love her and be consistent with the discipline/rules/boundaries/etc. I think it can be hard to be consistent in the best of circumstances, so I'm sure it's even harder when you add in all these other factors. It really sounds like you are doing a fantastic job, even though it might not seem like it to you at the moment, because the behavior isn't changing. Hang in there- you are doing a great job loving her and showing her that you aren't giving up on her.

ekcanada's picture
Joined: 05/06/09
Posts: 1707

I was getting teary reading this both for you but also for your DD.

I have no real advice other than make sure Brianna knows how much you love her.

And send hugs to you! Please continue to post about it! It always helps to get it off your chest! Take care of yourself!

Disneykat's picture
Joined: 01/02/07
Posts: 486

Laura,
please do NOT second guess your parenting. there are two things at hand here:

1. She has been through some traumatic situations. What her brothers did to her and what her mother has done to her. Both of which have caused some damage to her physically and emotionally.

2. She IS a teenager. While there will always be heartache with teenagers as they try to figure out who they are and where their place is in this world, all while trying to test the boundaries of their parents. You have to simply draw the line between normal teenage angst, and abnormal (those factors being what I listed above)

3. She IS jealous of the new baby, I have no doubt, but I think that her past with her mom is leading her to believe that you will no longer love her even if that is not true. Her past is dictating her thoughts right now. THAT IS NOT YOUR FAULT Smile

Having worked with teens for many years I can tell you you have done everything you can, you have provided a loving home for her, you have given her more than she ever would have had with her bio mom. There comes a time when you need to seek outside help. She needs to speak with a counselor to work through her feelings. it may even take family counseling as well so that you and your DH can learn ways in which to talk with her, communicate and work through this together.

As someone who has watch kids suffer through the teen years, I can tell you that I am so happy that you ARE there and ARE willing to help her in anyway you can. There are many parents who would just throw their hands in the air and do nothing. That breaks my heart.

YOU are an AMAZING mom. She will come around and see that.

nori_garsi's picture
Joined: 10/31/06
Posts: 2069

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. It must be extremely difficult for you.

I do have a situation that may be somewhat similar to what you're dealing with. My uncle and his wife separated when my little cousin was about 10 or so. She went with her mother but we soon suspected that her mother was on drugs and that all was not well. She would take my little cousin to a friend's house and leave her there for a few days without a word. She fell asleep at the wheel at stop lights. Then there was an occasion where she had left her at a friend's house with her friend's teenage son and his friends. She called us locked in the bathroom crying about how scared she was and could we come and get her. After that it was decided, since my uncle is a loser and had no place of his own, that she would come live with my aunt, and that her mother could see her whenever she wanted. Well her mother would show up late, not show up at all, yell at her about how everything was her fault, etc. She got a new boyfriend (with a record) who moved in with them, and my little cousin was afraid of him. It got to the point that my little cousin didn't want to go with her anymore and at one point her mother even volunteered to sign over custody (but the mother's parents stopped her before she did). After that my little cousin refused to speak to her or see her and her mother basically walked away. My aunt struggled to raise her (financially, emotionally, etc.) pretty much on her own. Her father is an a-hole who will see her but contributes no money to her upbringing and leaves all the hard stuff to my aunt. Her mother was non-existent but her mother's parents were involved and see my little cousin all the time. My little cousin had a lot of issues at first, she wouldn't sleep in her own room, etc. but things were going well until high school, when her mother decided she wanted to be in her life again. Things started slowly and she doesn't have a great relationship with her now but she will at least go with her and see her. Right around graduation, things got really bad. She started pulling the "You're not my mother" card, lying, sneaking around (she also has a new boyfriend which is compounding the situation). Now she's 18 and it's gotten even worse. She is constantly fighting with my aunt, yelling at her about how she's 18 and she can do whatever she wants. You're not my mother, you can't tell me what to do. She's also using her father to get what she wants because he doesn't really give a sh#@ about what she does...example, he gave the ok for her to go on a trip to Disneyland alone with her boyfriend without even asking my aunt (who would have said no). Mind you, my cousin has no car, no job, and contributes nothing to the household (not even chores, because all her time is spent wtih the bf). My aunt isn't really a disciplinarian so it makes it even worse. She's a sweet girl but with my aunt, she's a total terror. It's an absolute nightmare. The worst part of it is, my aunt has been battling lymphoma for about nine months...she's very sick, she's fighting to keep her house from being foreclosed on, and she doesn't need this kind of stress in her life. She's been the only real parent my little cousin has known for the last eight years and this is how she repays her.

It totally struck a chord with me when you brought up the part about now that you're having your own daughter you can't imagine how someone could just give their child up. I held a lot of anger towards my cousin's mother I didn't realize. I was in college when my cousin went to live with my aunt. Now that I'm a mother though, I just don't get how you can walk away from your child. She carried that child for nine months, gave birth to her, rocked her as a baby, and she just walked away like she was nothing. It makes me sick. I saw her at my little cousin's graduation and I had to stay far away from her because I got so angry I was literally shaking. It's hard to being so far away from them (they live in SF Bay Area and I live in LA), I have to witness this all going down without being able to do anything to help the situation.

I know that they got a counselor for my little cousin pretty early on to help her deal with things. It sounds like some therapy or counseling might help things along. As for the discipline, I would just keep doing what you're doing. The teenage years are notoriously bad for girls in general, and with all the things going on in her life, it seems like they are magnified ten fold. When I was in high school I tested the limits, I said horrible things to my mother that I wish I could take back. I was a good kid but with my parents, I had a horrible attitude. Now we're best friends, and I regret every awful thing I ever said to her. The one thing though, is through all the stuff I put her through, she always told me how much she loved me, even though I was angry at her. I would tell her I hated her and she would look at me and tell me "but I love you anyway." It was a really rough period but we got through it and I sincerely hope you will too.

If you have any more questions or just want to vent or talk, you can PM me any time.

Nell4Him's picture
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455

:bigarmhug: Everything of what these ladies have said is good advice.

My older sister (18 months older than me) was sexually abused by a friend of the family's son when she was 4 or 5. I was the door keeper, but do not remember as much as my sister. When my sister became a teenager, her whole life seemed to crumble before my mom. She started hanging out with the wrong people, she stole, she lied, she drank, she smoked, and finally she drew up plans (multiple) to kill herself.

My mom struggled through all to of the "bad" stuff that my sister did, but my mom had to let go of everything when my sister attempted to fulfill one of her plans to commit suicide. She was 12. My mom released her into the custody of a therapeutic hospital (some would say a mental hospital). There, my sister had a roommate that was carefully selected. My sister took classes, had mandatory therapy sessions with a licensed professional and had family visitations twice each week. My mom would go by herself once in the week, and the other time my younger sister and I would go too.

This changed my sister's life for the better. She lived there for close to a year and when she was "well" enough to be released, she signed a form agreeing that it would be best if she moved in with my dad (most of a state away) so that she didn't get caught up in the whole mess again because of contact with her old friends.

Now, I'm not saying that your DD should go to a hospital like my sister did, and I don't want to frighten you, but your story of how your DD is acting completely reminded me of my sister. Please, seek outside help before it gets any worse. :bigarmhug:

LauraMae78's picture
Joined: 01/10/11
Posts: 969

Thanks to you all! Im here at work and near tears! it feels good to have someone from the outside say that i am doing an ok job. my biggest fear is that she is going to grow up and act like Lenora's cousin and pull the " your not my mom " card.

When i found out what her mother pulled, said etc, i literally told DH that the b*tch is lucky that im pregnant! cause i probably would have drug her out of her house by her nipple ring! LOL and im not a violent person! i am full of anger and hatred towards that woman on SO many levels, but this set me off! One, how dare she teach MY daughter to lie and cheat to us. I feel as if the 10 years of hard work and the morals that we raised her with were jsut vanished! Two, how dare you imply that everything i have done means nothing! i discipline her, i love her, i held her whenshe cried, i wiped her tears everytime she dissappointed her. That is what a real mother does. It takes more than giving birth to be a mom! three, now that i ampregnant, the anger i feel is 10x worse! i could never walk away from this child, so i dont understand how she did. but the worse part is, im trying to be a grown up here and im trying not to let my anger reflect in my parenting. this pregnancy has made me VERY blunt, my boss tell me i lost my filter LOL so it is difficult to say the right things at hte right tiem when all i WANT to say i probably SHOULDnt say.

as a mom who also had an abusive past, i understand her anger and where she is right now. im doing my best to remember what i went through when i was her age. but i also remember how much i resented my mom for forcing me into counceling. 2 years and i never once talked to her about the issues at hand. my daughter is very much like DH, she talks about it then shuts it in andmoves on. it drives her nuts to be pushed when all she wants to do is move on from it. so i am leaving that option as a last resort, but im very close to it now. However, i agree, i do think that while she is very excited about the baby, i think she is also jealous. i do my best to make sure she knows there is nothing to be jealous over. i have off work on monday and i plan on spending the entire day just us. i hope that will help. and i very clearly remember what it was like to be a teenager, OMG i am in alot of trouble! LOL i havent got the "i hate you" yet, but when i do, i will remember my mom as well, and smile and know that in a few more years, she will love me much deeper cause iw as strong enough to stand up to her and for her. my mom and i are very close, and when i was a teenager, i remember very clearly telling her that i WILL NEVER BE LIKE HER. haha a few years back, while dealing with whatever was going on, it hit me, OMG, im just like my mom LOL i literally called her up and told her this, and she laughed that hard!

i guess all of us can just do the very best we can do and just PRAY that its enough. in the meantime, i hope DH's threat worked, otherwise i cant be held responsible for what may happen HAHA

LauraMae78's picture
Joined: 01/10/11
Posts: 969

"Nell4Him" wrote:

:bigarmhug: Everything of what these ladies have said is good advice.

My older sister (18 months older than me) was sexually abused by a friend of the family's son when she was 4 or 5. I was the door keeper, but do not remember as much as my sister. When my sister became a teenager, her whole life seemed to crumble before my mom. She started hanging out with the wrong people, she stole, she lied, she drank, she smoked, and finally she drew up plans (multiple) to kill herself.

My mom struggled through all to of the "bad" stuff that my sister did, but my mom had to let go of everything when my sister attempted to fulfill one of her plans to commit suicide. She was 12. My mom released her into the custody of a therapeutic hospital (some would say a mental hospital). There, my sister had a roommate that was carefully selected. My sister took classes, had mandatory therapy sessions with a licensed professional and had family visitations twice each week. My mom would go by herself once in the week, and the other time my younger sister and I would go too.

This changed my sister's life for the better. She lived there for close to a year and when she was "well" enough to be released, she signed a form agreeing that it would be best if she moved in with my dad (most of a state away) so that she didn't get caught up in the whole mess again because of contact with her old friends.

Now, I'm not saying that your DD should go to a hospital like my sister did, and I don't want to frighten you, but your story of how your DD is acting completely reminded me of my sister. Please, seek outside help before it gets any worse. :bigarmhug:

i know what you mean Nell! i was abused by my biological father and i remember how it affected me, though not hte same way as your sister. i bottled it all up til i grew up and then i became angry! i worked past it, thankfully. but i did go through the "screw you" phase where i did everything i shouldn't have. luckily, my step dad, or my DAD as i call him, came along and saw where i was headed and straightened me out. DD doesnt remeber what happened to her, thankfully. in my case, a good support system was what i needed. if that isnt what brianna needs, that i will give her what she does need. im just trying to tread carefully, like i said in my last post, she tends to shut down when pushed too hard.

Nell4Him's picture
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455

Oh, my sister didn't (and still doesn't) remember what had happened to her. She blocked it out completely and my mom thinks this was part of the problem, she was never able to deal with it properly cause she blocked it.

Just wanted to mention that.

:bigarmhug:

I completely understand the treading carefully.

I know it's not the same, but I was put on meds at a young age for ADHD & Depression and now my son is most likely ADHD and I'm working on getting a diagnosis so he can get help from the school and it's bringing back a lot of my anger issues with my mom and her "pill pushing" (which I know better now on THAT attitude) but I'm struggling with the what's he gonna think about me, even though I'm not pushing pills on him (last resort for me).

LauraMae78's picture
Joined: 01/10/11
Posts: 969

"Nell4Him" wrote:

Oh, my sister didn't (and still doesn't) remember what had happened to her. She blocked it out completely and my mom thinks this was part of the problem, she was never able to deal with it properly cause she blocked it.

Just wanted to mention that.

:bigarmhug:

I completely understand the treading carefully.

I know it's not the same, but I was put on meds at a young age for ADHD & Depression and now my son is most likely ADHD and I'm working on getting a diagnosis so he can get help from the school and it's bringing back a lot of my anger issues with my mom and her "pill pushing" (which I know better now on THAT attitude) but I'm struggling with the what's he gonna think about me, even though I'm not pushing pills on him (last resort for me).

naw girl, it is pretty much the same! pills, counseling, we wre both were forced into something we didnt like or appreciate. and for the record, i am anti pills myself. good luck with your son, and please dont take what im about to say the wrong way!!! but the ADHD diagnosis makes me so nervous. please be careful. i have known so many ppl with kids that got diagnosed with just to turn around and have it be something else entirely. my sister was diagnosed with it when she was little, and the doctors kept her drugged for years! it was pathetic! the kid slept for about 20 hours a day, literally. then she was diagnosed with something else, then they decided she was bipolar i also read somewhere that ADHD schools get paid to diagnose kids wiht ADHD? not sure if this is true, i thought i would mention it.

brianna was 3-4 so i hope it doesnt negatively effect her. but im ready to go if it does. Wink me, i think i would rather have forgotten, i was ?? til i was 14.

Prudence's picture
Joined: 05/02/05
Posts: 256

Well, I'm not going to give you the pat answer you probably want to hear... Everyone wants to hear, "Do XYZ and everything will be okay."

As long as her biological mother is there, encouraging her to act up, encouraging her to disrespect you, encouraging her to misbehave- you are in for a wild ride that won't end until your DD turns 18. And then it won't end as much as shift gears because she'll hopefully be going to college and will have to learn how to deal with her bio mother on her own terms.

If you can find a GOOD therapist that she can continuously go to- that would probably be the best step you can take. I also think your whole family needs therapy- no offense meant (most families could use therapy- particularly us blended families with crazy exes)- and if you can go, I would do it. You need professional advice on how to handle the bio mom. I don't think simply enforcing a 'no contact' rule is going to work for your DD. It will just make her sneak harder- and make you look worse.

Good luck. It's a very very rough ride. There will be many times over the next 4 years that you will want to get off the rollercoaster and have a normal life. But you need to persevere or else the bio mom has won and all of your hard work will be for nothing...

Nell4Him's picture
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455

"LauraMae78" wrote:

the ADHD diagnosis makes me so nervous. please be careful. i have known so many ppl with kids that got diagnosed with just to turn around and have it be something else entirely. my sister was diagnosed with it when she was little, and the doctors kept her drugged for years! it was pathetic! the kid slept for about 20 hours a day, literally. then she was diagnosed with something else, then they decided she was bipolar i also read somewhere that ADHD schools get paid to diagnose kids wiht ADHD? not sure if this is true, i thought i would mention it.

Thanks for the advice.

SoniaNoemi138's picture
Joined: 01/24/11
Posts: 569

:bighug:

So sorry Laura. I really don't have any advice as I'm a total newbie, but reading the responces our women on here really know what they are talking about. I hope it all works out for you. I know teenagers are never easy.

Maelani's picture
Joined: 01/09/10
Posts: 275

"Dinoosteorn" wrote:

Omg! Thank you regarding this important content on www.pregnancy.org! I constantly needed to write on my site something of that nature. May I take a part of your post to my site?

Don't follow that link!!!! This is likely a virus or scam of some sort Blum 3 I removed it from my quote Blum 3

LauraMae78's picture
Joined: 01/10/11
Posts: 969

"Maelani" wrote:

Don't follow that link!!!! This is likely a virus or scam of some sort Blum 3 I removed it from my quote Blum 3

i figured the same thing! no way what i wrote is THAT important LOL

nori_garsi's picture
Joined: 10/31/06
Posts: 2069

Yeah the spam has been out of control lately. I reported the post on the host's board so hopefully they will remove it soon.

jonibug's picture
Joined: 11/27/06
Posts: 781

Laura, I just want to send you hugs and prayers. I agree that counseling would help tremendously. Are you sure there aren't even any good counselors in the area (not talking PHD or MD)? Sometimes they are hard to find. Do you have a Mommies Network local website for your area (for example, my area website is www.richmondmommies.com). Other moms in the area would probably be able to point you in the right direction.