when you are done having children?
After the horrible pregnancy and birthing process I was saying that I'm done and I'll never go through it again. But, now that the memory of the pain has faded a bit I get the feeling that I'm not done. I love my kids and I am so blessed to have 3 beautiful, healthy happy and amazing babies but I can't help feeling I want one more. I always wanted a big family atleast 3 hopefully 4. I know I may be singing a different tune when these babies are 2, but right now, I would be happy to have one more.
Do you ever feel done or am I just enjoying the baby stage and thats why I want one more?
I can't speak on the whole 'do you ever feel done' part because I would think that those who have had something permanent done would be best to answer that, however, from MY experience, and even though I already have 5, it's a tough battle. ONe day I'm done, the next I see them all growing up and the pics on the wall and it's like, wow I'm gonna miss that, then baby fever hits. When I'm pregnant, I tend to be a total (w)itch especially towards the end, hormones are terrible, and I say things like, why the hell am I having another one, or I shoulda never got pregnant, etc. Mean yucky things, kwim? After the experience I had with Alyssa, the whole baby thing is still there, more so because I feel robbed of numerous things, and after how things were with Hailey after she was born "lots of stress and problems", I vowed that IF there was another one after her, that things would be different. THat we wouldn't go through hell and back, that I wanted things the way they should be, and then, I got pregnant with Alyssa and from beginning to end, it was NOTHING like I wanted, or deserved.
So in the end, I think for alot of people even though you're done, whether it be by something permanent or not, you never truely feel 'done'.
Not sure if my post helps, just me rambling lol.
My husband has had a vasectomy and I still don't feel done. Honestly I *did* feel done until Isaiah was born and now I just don't. I do wish he'd go and get checked so I can just know that we're not having another and deal with that, right now I just keep thinking that maybe it didn't even work (his cousin just had that happen in 2009, he had to get a second vasectomy done). I am not the biggest fan of being pregnant but to me the end result is so worth it. I just love all my kids and wonder who we're missing by not having more. We didn't plan Isaiah and he's just such a blessing you know? Plus everything went so great this time around that I can't help but wish I could do it again. I don't know, maybe someday I'll feel 'done' again but for right now I don't, even though we are.
DD1- July 2004
DD2- April 2006
DS1- December 2009
DS2- August 2011
I had my tubes tied. when i was pregnant with kesler i decided i was done, actually i decided i was done after skyler and kesler was a blessed opps
i knew i was done because i felt blessed with my family 2 boys (who should never be here according to drs) but then again i have complicated pregnancies and have one special needs child so i am not typical.
but to tell you the truth sometimes i wonder if i made the right choice..
(given how my body handles babies i would say i made the right choice just sad to know this in my last. )
I don't think I could ever do anything permanent while pregnant. While I was pregnant I wondered if I would be able to do it again because this time was really difficult, but the second I held her in my arms, I knew I would do it again. I am hoping that after the next one I feel done, but we won't do anything permanent until a few years after we have our "last" baby so that I can feel really sure about it.
This is the only thing that bothers me about having the c/s though is that now I really have someone else telling me that I can only have 3-4. And while I don't see myself having more than that or us ever being able to afford more than that, I don't like being limited by something else.
I have the same issue. Dh has said after dd2 was born he would have liked to have a boy. But if we try again and get another girl, he still will want to try again b/c he would have to give up his car if we have three kids. And I don't know if I want more than three. Plus, the memory of labor is fading but I still remember the way I felt emotionally through it, and I would have a hard time choosing to go through that again. Plus, I ingrained into my memory the misery I felt in the third trimester.
Unless we have an accident (very possible since I refuse to go on birth control), dd2 would have to be 3 before I consider doing this again.
I know we are done because I feel content, and when I look around the dining room table I don't feel like anyone is missing, which I did before Audrey was born. I haven't felt sad packing away her newborn clothes that she has outgrown.
That being said, from a practical point of view, we can't afford more kids. Or at least, to have the lifestyle we want (travel, have the kids in sports etc), we can't have anymore. And with my hyperemesis, I just can't do another pregnancy.
I knew I wasnt done after I had Izzy, but I can tell you that I am done now. Of course I had my tubes tied, so I really am done. However, for me I wanted 4 and now have 5 and that is a plenty!!!!!! Yes I am content and loving life.
We aren't deciding it. We're anti-birth control, so there won't be any temporary or permanent decisions towards not having more kids.
However, I really need more space between my kids than these two. It is just awful having two so close together.
I used to want like 8 or so.... we're down to liking the idea of about 6... but whatever happens happens.
We are supposed to be done, but DH still hasn't scheduled hits bigV and I have an appointment on Monday to find out for sure.
Janelle and Brad 8-25-01
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