I think... :(

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Nell4Him's picture
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455
I think... :(

I think I'm depressed.

I feel like life REALLY sucks for me right now and I have no huge reasons as to why. I can list some things that might be causing me to feel that way, but compared to other times in my life or other people I know, it shouldn't be any excuse to feel the way I feel.

I just wanna be done with this stage in my life.

nori_garsi's picture
Joined: 10/31/06
Posts: 2069

:bigarmhug: I'm so sorry Janelle. I struggled with depression before this baby and was weaned off medication before ttc and I've had a bit of depression this pg (especially with all the spotting at the beginning) but I've been doing my best to work through it. PG hormones can really wreak havoc on our emotional health. Do you have someone you can talk to? Can you get out of the house and do something for yourself, like get a mani/pedi or a massage? Maybe you should talk to your doctor about how you've been feeling. I know my peri mentioned if the depression came back strongly that there were antidepressants that were safe to use during pg but I don't know how you feel about that...personally I'm trying to avoid them if I can.

indianajones's picture
Joined: 01/21/07
Posts: 1486

:bigarmhug:
No great advice to offer you, just wanted you to know we're here and will offer support as best we can.

Does DH know how you're feeling?

cherylfhorn's picture
Joined: 08/24/08
Posts: 600

I'm sorry you at feeling this way but I understand. With my recent breakup and other stresses with this pregnancy and worrying about loosing the baby ive been dealing with depression as well. I also was taking Wellbutrin but once I got pg they took me off it and they tried to give me zoloft which is supposed to be safe but I don't like how it makes me feel so I've been dealing with things on my own. I actually just called to see if I could talk to a counselor that a friend sees. Hoping that will help. Is there anyone you can talk too? Hang in there we are here for you and if you need anything let me know. Even to chat on the phone.

jonibug's picture
Joined: 11/27/06
Posts: 781

Depression isn't very logical. It pops up when you think it shouldn't (as compared to other times in your life). But that doesn't make it easier to cope with. I hope you have someone you can talk to. As much as you probably don't want to, get out, get fresh air and sun (when possible) and get exercise. Take long, nice showers. Do things for yourself, even simple things like read a book for fun. Write down your thoughts and feelings.

I'll be praying for you, that the world starts perking uP again. Hopefully it is just a combination of hormones and cruddy weather and I hope the weather turns soon up there.

Joined: 12/21/09
Posts: 344

Consider taking some B-complex vitamins. They have made a HUGE difference in my life after the birth of my son and I was struggling, and since I've been pregnant.

Chimmy's picture
Joined: 08/03/01
Posts: 2776

I'm so sorry - this is something I can relate to (not this pregnancy but a previous one) and it can be so hard to deal with - others have given you some great advice but I still wanted to reply so that you knew someone else was also thinking of you! There are many nutitional things you can do to help, and how you talk to yourself can make an enormous difference in how you feel - what's hard is wanting to do those things when your already feeling down. It can be hard! I too am here for you if you need someone to talk to - I know were practically strangers but I genuinely do care! :bighug:

bamsmom's picture
Joined: 05/05/07
Posts: 1635

Janelle I am so sorry that you are feeling down. I would also suggest talking to your OB, you have ins now so check and see if you have coverage to see a therapist. Sometimes just being able to talk to a neutral person can help and it is a great alternative to taking meds. We are all here too and if you need talk or need a cyber (((HUG)))!

lamonsgrl's picture
Joined: 09/18/04
Posts: 1023

I'm sorry you are feeling that way. That's not fun when you are supposed to be enjoying this time and getting ready for the baby. I hope you have someone to talk to. I'll be thinking about you. Big hugs!!

heatherliz2002's picture
Joined: 02/02/08
Posts: 2273

:bighug: I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this. I agree with Joni- depression just pops up sometimes, unrelated to actual circumstances in your life. The others had great advice, so I won't add/repeat anything. I hope you find something that helps you work through it. Thinking of you!

LauraMae78's picture
Joined: 01/10/11
Posts: 969

i have no advice either, but i wanted to tell you that i am thinking about you, and if you need someone to talk to, you know wehre i am Smile

SoniaNoemi138's picture
Joined: 01/24/11
Posts: 569

:bighug:

Sending lots of T&P your way.

Mommyin0406080912's picture
Joined: 02/16/08
Posts: 1644

Lurker** I just wanted to send some huge hugs to you and let you know I am thinking about you hun.

Nell4Him's picture
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455

Thank you all for your wonderful words and suggestions. Admitting is the first step to recovery, right?

I've had Bi-Polar since I can remember. That and ADD. I've been off ALL medication since 2001 and have managed to pull through using various resources (raising my body temperature, exercise, Mtn Dew and Skittles), but most of what I've turned to in the past to help me are not necessarily safe for baby (especially that last pair). My Dad and I usually "cycle" together with our Bi-Polar so he's been a great help to me in the past as far as misery loves company goes, and I hope I've been a similar help to him. However, we usually go have lunch with each other and neither one of us has any money (another source of sadness right now). He just had knee replacement, so he's feeling as "laid up" as I am right now. Sad

Anyway. DH let me go to bed early last night. He came home from work and it was kind of apparent that I wasn't "happy". I practically skipped dinner and just put myself to bed without even asking. He totally stepped up and put the boys to bed when it was time. Then when he came to bed 3 or 4 hours later (I shut myself in the room about 6:30) he gave me lots of cuddles to show me he's here and cares and knows and... Then he made sure the boys were taken care of this morning before leaving for a hike. He even remembered to change Daniel's diaper this time.

With help, I will get there. It just might take some time. I had a nice, silent cry after I posted what I put up at top. Admitting is hard, but I knew I had to come out and do it.

I'm hoping that I can "bond" a little with this baby. I don't even think that knowing the gender wouldn't have even made a lick of difference in this bonding.

I'm gonna try and work my needlepoint a little more so I can do something that at least has visible progress, unlike the dishes and laundry that just have a never ending cycle. :confused:

yeah, k. moving on for the day. I'm gonna put away the computer (as soon as I'm done with what I was doing) and try to force a happy attitude. Wink

indianajones's picture
Joined: 01/21/07
Posts: 1486

That last line reminded me of something- I struggled with depression in college (my dad called it the sophomore slump, but it lasted longer than that) and went to see someone at the counseling center, who told me to basically fake it till I made it.

I had no desire to go to class, but knew I needed to. So I forced myself out of bed, fought with myself the whole way there (just turn around and go back to the room, no you need to go, no just give up now) and went to class. And bit by bit, it got easier to find the motivation to go, even though those first several weeks were a constant struggle.

Turning off the computer sometimes helps too. I think that's a good idea.

Depression sucks. I'm sorry it's affecting you.

Keep checking in with us (or someone who can hold you accountable), ok?
:bigarmhug:

cmoriarty's picture
Joined: 08/16/07
Posts: 69

HUGS!!! Depression is so hard.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Janelle, thank you for sharing. Depression is SO hard and sometimes people don't like talking about it. You having the courage to share is so awesome and it allows a nice discussion that could be needed. I have suffered with bouts of depression this pregnancy as well. It still hasn't quite hit me that I am pregnant all the way, and I am scared to death on how I am going to do this all. This is my first baby after not doing this for 8 years, so I am worried of course! Thank you again for having this courage because you've opened up the door for me to share how I am feeling too.

One suggestion about your dad is what would you think if DH took care of the kids while you brought a picnic over to your dad and you two could just sit quietly together and still have that time with one another?

I feel for you and am sending my hugs!

mandi04's picture
Joined: 08/10/03
Posts: 2272

:bigarmhug: I think you got lots of great advice from everyone else so I'm not sure I have anything to add.

ekcanada's picture
Joined: 05/06/09
Posts: 1707

Thinking about you!

I struggled with PPD after DD was born and have been struggling a little as of late. My advice is keeping an open dialog with your doctor. My doctor and husband are keeping tabs on me and report to one another. I also have a couple of psychologist appointments scheduled for before the baby comes and I will see them again after baby comes. I will also consider going on antidepressants prior to baby comes just to be proactive to avoid what I felt like before.

Right now is a time to take care of yourself! Are there any free counselling programs in your area?

mom22sofar's picture
Joined: 02/20/09
Posts: 306

So sorry you are having a hard time. are you able to reach out to some counselling and support services in your community? Depression can be such a debilitating problem and i really hope you can find some support locally that can help you. I think it is awesome though that you can see you have an issue, that is a huge step

Nell4Him's picture
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455

I'm doing better since "coming out" about it.

I'm making it a point to take better care of myself. I took a long shower on Saturday and as soon as Daniel lets me, I'm gonna take one this afternoon.

Small steps. But still, it's progress and I'm more aware of what I'm feeling and such.

Thanks, all. :bigarmhug: