Insensative/rude

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Scilla's picture
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Insensative/rude

My husbands oldest sister has been so insensative/rude and sometimes down right mean to me since I found out I was pregnant. Kyan wasn't planned at all and is all my fault. I was in school at the time. Well, since I was put on bedrest since I was bleeding the entire 1st tri with him, I got kicked out of school. That's my fault too. We all went shopping a few weeks ago and she seen some condoms and contraceptive gel.. Well she holds them up infront of everyone and says to me, "Hey you needed this!" I said, No.. I don't need that cause I'm done after this one, making sure of it! She said, "RIGHT... Still think you need this stuff."

Right.. And guess what, Big brother does no wrong. He's on top of the world and I'm lower than dirt..

She knew I was in the hospital and seen how I'm spelling Kyans name and she texts me.

"Is Kyan pronounced, Cayanne?"

(like the pepper)

I said NO.. It's pronouced Kee-in,

She says "O"

Never once asked how he was doing or if everything was ok. I know it shouldn't hurt my feelings but I'm wondering how the hell someone can be so mean towards a baby.. I mean, come on. They're the most precious/innocent things in the world!!

Sorry to rant, but I needed to talk to women that would understand my POV.

Nell4Him's picture
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yup. Sounds like she hates you! Lol

I hope you are able to ignore most of her stupidity and rudeness. People like that are not around me much cause I just don't tolerate it well.

:bigarmhug:

BloomingRose's picture
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I know it's hard to ignore, and it would bother the hell out of me too, but she's obviously not worth even the stinkiest, messiest, blow out diaper that a baby can produce! I hate people who are like that and I agree, how someone can be so insensitve towards a baby is beyond me. Ok, fine. You don't like the person, but to act like that towards a baby is rediculous and uncalled for.

Hang in there, you have much more to think/worry/focus on rather than someone like her. :openarms:.

LauraMae78's picture
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First of all, unplanned or not, he is your child and you are happy to be having him! you made a child, and there should be NO fault to blame on anythone. who the hel is she to judge you so ignorantly!?!?!?! does SHE have kids?? or is she simply jealous?? People like her piss me off. try to ignore her, though i know how hard that is.

my SIL has been rude to me too, though in a different way. ever since my positive preggo test, she judges me for how i parent my daughter. i just want to holler at her and remind her that SHE doesnt have kids. i avoid talking to her about much of anything. a while ago she tells me that she doesnt like the name we are naming LO. whatever. so last week she says on IM yahoo, are you still naming IT kendra? my response "yes, i am still naming HER kendra." she informs me that until IT is born IT is still a FETUS thus deserves the title of IT. :violent2: in my eyes, once you find out that it is a boy or a girl, IT is no longer an IT but a HE or a SHE! atleast that is MY personal opinion! that is just the start to the SIL issues for me.

Sounds like our SIL's should hang out together and leave us alone!

Scilla's picture
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I know exactly what you mean Laura! And she's 35, has an almost 15yr old daughter, and apparently thinks that just because she works she's better than everyone. Mostly ME. I stopped liking her a good year ago. I can't even believe we use to be close! I agree about when you find out what LO is, he/she deserves to be called by his/her name! I told everyone that Kyan is my son, If they don't like it, leave us alone!

I forgot to mention one part she said about the condoms/jelly. She said she was doing her part in population control! I felt like telling her, infront of her mom, that she should go home and take a cyanide pill and she'd be doing her part in population control. Biggrin

I can't fathom how people can act the way they do. I'd never treat anyone like that, ESP a baby.... But good thing is, we can choose who's a part of our lives and who isn't. T'hell with them if they don't want to be a part of something so precious!

cherylfhorn's picture
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I think she is probably just jealous of you. It sounds crazy but usually in my experience the people who are cruel and act like that do so just out of jealousy . Even with her having 1 child you said her kid is 15 which means she had it young so she hasn't been able to live the life she wanted to. So she is not happy and since she sees you happy she wants you to be miserable like her.

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That is rough. Sad

Any issues I have with dh's family, he deals with and any issues he has with mine, I deal with. It just makes life easier that way. Would your dh be willing/able to lay the hammer down with her? If not, I would probably just avoid her at all costs.

BloomingRose's picture
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"Scilla" wrote:

I know exactly what you mean Laura! And she's 35, has an almost 15yr old daughter, and apparently thinks that just because she works she's better than everyone. Mostly ME. I stopped liking her a good year ago. I can't even believe we use to be close! I agree about when you find out what LO is, he/she deserves to be called by his/her name! I told everyone that Kyan is my son, If they don't like it, leave us alone!

I forgot to mention one part she said about the condoms/jelly. She said she was doing her part in population control! I felt like telling her, infront of her mom, that she should go home and take a cyanide pill and she'd be doing her part in population control. Biggrin

I can't fathom how people can act the way they do. I'd never treat anyone like that, ESP a baby.... But good thing is, we can choose who's a part of our lives and who isn't. T'hell with them if they don't want to be a part of something so precious!

ROFLROFLROFL

I love that! Given the situation and the comments I most certainly would have said it, that's one of those VISA: Priceless moments Lol

bamsmom's picture
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She sounds evil! I do completely understand where you are coming from though. My DH's family completely ignored my pregnancy! His parents finally said something about the pregnancies about 4 wks ago and my SIL only just last week!!!!! I really dont give a **** at this point, but hey... we are the ones who have been blessed and if they want to act this way they don't have to be apart of it!!!!

Scilla's picture
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I don't think she's jealous of me. I don't know.. I've heard so many conflicting stories about why she never had anymore children... From she had a lot of female problems to one was enough. She's about materialistic things, such as really nice home, lots of cars/4 wheelers, and obviously money to blow. More money it would seem than respect for others. I'm not the only one she's rude with/tries to start crap with. My husband won't say anything, he's the most unconfrontational man I know. SO I've been avoiding her at all costs. I have even distanced myself from the family a lot over the past few months... I'd rather just stay home, by myself. No stress that way I guess. I'm here alone most of the time because almost every weekend my husband thinks he needs to take the kids camping. We're even distant now. So, I'm quite certain she's not jealous of me. She's just a mean spirited B***h! Normally I'd be just as mean/rude back but honestly with all the problems I've had in this pregnancy, She's not worth me being stressed by being around her. I believe she sees that as a sign of weakness and feeds off it.

Thank you girls for making me feel better and know I'm not alone with rude family members.. Sadly, the family I married into is the only one I've got. Sad So I'm just chosing isolation at this point and time.

skylersmomma's picture
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Omg is ur sil my sister, b/c she sounds just like her. What a *****!!! Kesler wasn't planned either but he is still a blessing , I know its hard to ignore it hurts my feelings too. But she is sounds un educated to try and belittle someone. Will your dh talk to her? I'm sorry u have to go thru this aswell as the stress u have been under with your complications and being at the hospital keep your head up.. We love ya!! P.s. I think kyan is a great name!!!!

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Sorry I ment to say " she sounds uneducated by triing to belittle someone" I tried to edit my post on my phone but it wasn't working lol by my typing skills I look like the uneducated one Wink

Scilla's picture
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I'd love to say she's uneducated, that atleast would be some sort of excuse! But no, she's got a masters and a bachelors degree in something.... I can't recall what though, lol. Being a douche maybe?? And no, husband won't talk to her. He doesn't see things from my point of view and he's always known me to settle things for myself.

Thank you hun, I too think Kyan is a good name.. Another one of my sister in laws said I should spell it Keean. Cause the y doesn't look right. Looks like it should sound like a y in Ryan. I told her if I wanted it to it could sound like a Z and to deal with it.

I honestly think I've had my fill of people lately. Esp the ones around here! No one cares, They never called or came & seen me while I was in the hospital. I TOOK MYSELF and Brought MYSELF home. Nice huh?

LauraMae78's picture
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"Scilla" wrote:

I know exactly what you mean Laura! And she's 35, has an almost 15yr old daughter, and apparently thinks that just because she works she's better than everyone. Mostly ME. I stopped liking her a good year ago. I can't even believe we use to be close! I agree about when you find out what LO is, he/she deserves to be called by his/her name! I told everyone that Kyan is my son, If they don't like it, leave us alone!

I forgot to mention one part she said about the condoms/jelly. She said she was doing her part in population control! I felt like telling her, infront of her mom, that she should go home and take a cyanide pill and she'd be doing her part in population control. Biggrin

I can't fathom how people can act the way they do. I'd never treat anyone like that, ESP a baby.... But good thing is, we can choose who's a part of our lives and who isn't. T'hell with them if they don't want to be a part of something so precious!

POPULATION CONTROL!?!>?! I think i would slap a B^tch!! are you children taken care of? are they educated? My guess is YES therefore she needs to STFU and leave u alone! i hate ppl who judge ppl for how many kids ppl have NOW, there is a difference ppl who have a few kids than those who keep popping them out to bleed the system, but we wont go there Wink

Nell4Him's picture
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Population control.... she should be introduced to my friend's step-sister... 22, on her 4th baby (due beg of Nov) and this one (just like the other 3) will be adopted by her big sister cause she's not "ready" to be a mom. She smokes all throughout each and every one of her pregnancies, drinks on and off through it... so far not a single one has made it to term and has been small in size compared to other babies of that gestation. Her last one (Born in Dec) has already had heart surgery for a hole in the heart... Lord only knows what this one will have to suffer from. :confused:

Anyway, sorry.

Ignore your SIL until you are well enough to play the "hormone" card on her. Lol

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She sounds like MY sister in law and brother. They think they are the authorities of the family on; baby names, birth control; and how to parent your kids (including, giving kids soda at 6 months old). I feel your pain.

There isn't alot you can do UNLESS you fire back comments to her. I've had to do that with my SIL(husbands sister) because she will say whatever she feels like saying and if no one says anything to her it will only get worse. i mean sometimes it's nto worth it but I know if I let someone just say whatever they want, they will take that as a sign that they can walk all over me. Not happening. Then again you know....MY brother and his wife have been mad at me for over a yr because I didn't spend enough time with them at Disneyland when my daughter and I were there last yr. I didn't want to. His kids are obnoxious and rude.( a long story for another day. But, my sisters husband refuses to be around them at all anymore. That is how bad it is)

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Please dont take this the wrong way but congenital heart defects happen to 1 in 70 babies in usa and 1 in 100 babies in canada. Heart defects can just happen, no matter how healthy you are during your pregnancy. of course smoking and drinking to increase your chances but please dont think just cause a baby has a heart defect it automaticly is the mothers fault and of course I know you werent implying that. I am a little over sensitive on this subject because having a son with special needs at 18 ppl automaticly asssume i did drugs, smoked or drank which isnt true. my older sister told me i must have done something to make my son sick as she had 3 healthy kids and sky had so many complications. Please dont take this the wrong way i dont want to start anything i just wanted to bring this to ppl's attention.
thanks for letting me put my 2 cents in.

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"skylersmomma" wrote:

Please dont take this the wrong way but congenital heart defects happen to 1 in 70 babies in usa and 1 in 100 babies in canada. Heart defects can just happen, no matter how healthy you are during your pregnancy. of course smoking and drinking to increase your chances but please dont think just cause a baby has a heart defect it automaticly is the mothers fault and of course I know you werent implying that. I am a little over sensitive on this subject because having a son with special needs at 18 ppl automaticly asssume i did drugs, smoked or drank which isnt true. my older sister told me i must have done something to make my son sick as she had 3 healthy kids and sky had so many complications. Please dont take this the wrong way i dont want to start anything i just wanted to bring this to ppl's attention.
thanks for letting me put my 2 cents in.

Thank you for this. I'm sorry and I did not mean to offend. I personally do not know this young lady, I was only meaning to say that you would think if she's "not ready" she'd do something to prevent it from happening again.

:bigarmhug:

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what a bummer! I hate rude B****s