I wish he'd say it, "Scilla, you're a burden and I don't care about the baby either."
Ive got to cancel my important US Ive been waiting on over a month thats on tues. He suddenly doesnt have the $ for me to go. Its 140mi round trip. But hes got the $ to fix his parents vehicles & put gas in his truck to run all over hell & half of GA with. Im so PO I cant stand it. I need this us to make sure Kyan is ok cause of the problems Ive had and cause of the meds I was on. Guess none of it matters though. I dont even want him in the delivery room w.me. Im askin for general anesthesia again. Hell w.it says me. Ive got to have my tubes tied anyway. Im in a current state of fml. Alllll of it.
I was calling today to cancel my apt. Well he came home for lunch and asks me what time I'm supposed to be there.... I told him by 10am but I'm calling and canceling. He said No, I'm going to come home and fix the Jeep so you can go.
I took him for his word on that... He then asks me when he got home if I called and canceled or checked to see if there was some place closer they could send me. I said, No.....
Well his sister had stopped by to give him a hair cut.. He said, I guess I have to go to daddies later. She asked why. He said because I have to take the kids up there, she's gotta go to the dr tomorrow.
I stopped him right there, I said I don't have to go any mf'n place. I'll call and cancel tomorrow for sure.
He starts being down right hateful and mean to the kids telling them to get ready and get their shoes so they can leave and go to his dads. I told him I'm NOT going tomorrow since it's a waste of time and money so leave them alone and let them stay. Well, he makes them get in the truck and he takes them. I called him and told him to bring them back and leave them here. He would barely talk and I asked if he'd heard me he said I HEAR YOU, I'll be back later. I hung up on him. I wish I had somewhere to go.. Cause I'd leave tonight. I've been feeling nauseated, trowing up, shaking, heart racing and everything since he started his bs when he got home. I don't know why he feels the need to tell me he'll come home and do something and then when he gets home he acts PO cause I didn't do the opposite of what he said!! I'm CONFUSED! I can't do anything right... And frankly, I'm not even going to try. I'm not going to go out of my way to please someone when they do this to me. I mean what would you think?? I can't even see how "i'll fix it when I get home so you can go" translates into "did you call and cancel or see if there's somewhere closer?"
HOW DOES THAT WORK?!?! I can't take this girls... I'm having anxiety attacks and I know Kyans feeling it.. He hasn't stopped moving. If I go tomorrow, I'm leaving him a long letter. I can't seem to talk to him and ive got a lot on my mind.