Man acting funny?!!?

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Joined: 04/22/11
Posts: 9
Man acting funny?!!?

So I love my fiance, but sometimes I feel as though he forgets Im pregnant....acting like my physical abilities arent being rendured now at 5months. then acting like hormones arent running wild. i dont know its just a little frustrating, like come on give me a break. mistaking fatigue & tiredness for laziness and thats just insulting. Like I dont have enough going on already.....anyone relate?

SoniaNoemi138's picture
Joined: 01/24/11
Posts: 569

Oh yes. At first my SO didn't believe it. Till I barfed more and more in front of him and kept sending him baby info on the web. He caught on quick. Some times I still sense a bit of that but he's let up considerably.

jonibug's picture
Joined: 11/27/06
Posts: 781

Dh didn't understand why I felt so bad with this one when I did so well with dd. It took a while to get through to him that I had more ms this time and have had low blood pressure.

Nell4Him's picture
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455

My DH is very modern with his opinions of what women can and can't do while pregnant. It's not really an excuse to him. If you were fit enough, "you could be doing cartwheels without hurting the baby so none of the usual house work should be anything difficult for you."

Oh, and don't even ASK him to change the litter box. "You can do it, that whole pregnant women shouldn't change the litter box is a myth, just like the whole pregnant women shouldn't lift a finger and can eat whatever they want..." :roll:

Joined: 04/22/11
Posts: 9

Yea, I forgot to mention that my fiance has a 3yr old, so he compares me to the first mother and that she worked at subway till such n such a time so there shouldnt be anything im tired from because Im not working.....

P.S. I m new, what does SO and DH mean?

nori_garsi's picture
Joined: 10/31/06
Posts: 2069

When I first joined I had a hard time with all the abbreviations too. SO=significant other DH=dear husband

I'm sorry. I think it's unfair of him to compare you to anyone else. Every woman is different, every pregnancy is different. This pregnancy has been much harder on me than my first and my hubby has been very understanding and loving, without complaint. I think it can be hard for some men to relate because it is such a foreign concept to reality they have no clue how hard it is to be pregnant because they will never experience it.

mandi04's picture
Joined: 08/10/03
Posts: 2272

SO means significant other, DH is dear husband...or any other d word you might want to use to describe him at the moment Lol
I'm on my 4th pregnancy and DH still isn't very sympathetic, not that I expect it at this point. I am feeling pretty much normal, most of the first trimester things are behind me and baby isn't big enough to be making me uncomfortable yet

jonibug's picture
Joined: 11/27/06
Posts: 781

I worked at a DAYCARE for goodness sake until 33 weeks when I was put on bedrest with dd. I truly did have an easy pregnancy with her and this one has kicked my butt. I would care for 4 babies or 8 toddlers or 18 preschoolers in the classroom and I still managed to come home and make dinner and do laundry, etc. Lately I can barely care for my own ONE kid and my house has been a tornado zone since February. I am not sleeping well at night b/c I'm already achy, I'm still tired, had nausea and then BP issues and now having Braxton hicks (BH). This pregnancy has kicked my butt and it wasn't til I got BH that dh finally got it (I didn't get them til 31 weeks the first time but the midwife said it is normal. Thank God for my midwife, I would be on bedrest if I were still going to my old OB).

It sounds like you and your fiancé (or DF) need to have some discussions about what he expects of you and you of him. Those conversations will help a lot with when you are in labor and when you are sleep deprived with a newborn.

Joined: 02/01/11
Posts: 67

This is #3 for me and DH has been less sympathetic with each on. I would have thought he knew that after a full day of work and making dinner etc that I'm just too tired to pick up around the house most nights. If I hear one more time that he SOOOOOOOOOO tired because he has to do everything I'm punching him in the head! I just wish for one day he could experience the fatigue and all the other things pregnancy brings. I don't usually use pregnancy as an excuse to not do things...heck I lift/transfer pt's all day at work Smile But when I ask for help or say I just can't I darn well mean it!

lamonsgrl's picture
Joined: 09/18/04
Posts: 1023

This pregnancy is completely different from my first one. I am so exhausted all the time now. I got bigger, faster. It's hard for me to do alot without my back hurting. Or my feet swelling and hurting. Or just being short of breath. Not to mention that BH have already started and so I try to rest more. DH has been ok for the most part but still asks me to do stuff when he knows I am trying to rest.

DH won't let me get close to the kitty litter. His mom changes it because he won't.

LizzyLaw06's picture
Joined: 05/20/07
Posts: 497

My DH isn't too bad. thought sometimes he lets the litter go too long and i'll cover up my face and put on gloves and do it and when i sees i did he gets mad at me... they dont' understand cuz they have never been able to experience it. i think alot of men think these things are just hearsay. try just telling him you are resting.

i don't know, but depending on how big your belly is, or not...maybe since he may not really be able to see the obvious baby bump it's "out of sight, out of mind" kind of thing.

good luck

cherylfhorn's picture
Joined: 08/24/08
Posts: 600

This is my 1st but my SO has 2 older from a previous marriage. He says he doesn't remember her ever complaing but to b honest they were on and off again so much he wasn't around for a lot of it. He still doesn't get it either. He can't understand how I'm so tired after working and trying to teach 700 middle school kids to sing. Not to mention I've had complications and have been put on modified rest so contractions don't start again. He thought bedrest ment I just couldn't go to work...not literally I had to stay in bed. He also thinks I can do anything being pregnant. This past weekend he wanted to go to an indoor amusement park and ride rides. I was like really what about I'm pregnant do u not understand. He sees my feet swell if we go shopping for 2 hrs but I'm supposed to spend hours at an amusement park, not to mention I can't ride the rides. I told him I was going to make him get one of those pregnancy bellies for men and see how he likes it. Believe it or not he said ok...I'm sure it will b a different story when the time comes. They will never understand.

MandyMommyto1's picture
Joined: 06/27/09
Posts: 534

I'm just going to say it...sometimes men are just so dumb.

Like pp, my first pregnancy was relatively easy, and this one is kicking my butt. I have been sicker, much more tired, and have gotten bigger faster, I'm already experiencing shortness of breath. Plus since I have a low-lying placenta with sporadic bleeding, I've been told not to "do" anything, which basically means I sit on my butt on my days off, and I'm not allowed to work out. DH is fairly sympathetic, but still retarded half the time. I have to remind him constantly that I'm tired and achy because I'm PREGNANT DUMB*SS!! Smile

Joined: 01/25/11
Posts: 122

Wow! I am feeling very lucky right now. I have been exhausted and sick practically from day one with this one. DH has been great at stepping up to pick up the slack.
I must admit that I have been enjoying sending all of the dirty diapers his way lately. My gag reflex is super sensitive lately and the mere thought of changing a stinky diaper sets it off.

Joined: 04/22/11
Posts: 9

Thanks for all the input gals. idk, me and my fiance are going through some financial patches and I havent really got to spend alot of time with him, i started crying on the phone when i realized i wouldnt see him today, he asked me what was wrong and i told him 'I was just being pregnant lol. he doesnt understand, thinks i do nothing. He thought Id be up for walking outside hanging flyers for work.....Im in FLA!!!! Its hella-hotttt out there and a complete mug master. I wouldnt even last to the 3rd door. he seemed like i let him down....Lol i told him hed rather me not go then go and complain snd slow him down.

Ron&Hope 11.2010
Elias 8.5.2008
'Baby' 9.5.2011