Mommies of boys

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Scilla's picture
Joined: 03/29/11
Posts: 259
Mommies of boys

Are you going to have your LO circumsized?

I chose to not have my older sons circumsized so Kyan won't be either. They've had no problems with infection or anything. I heard a lot of boys may suffer from infections due not keeping it clean enough.. But I taught them how to clean it and now they're self sufficient in doing it themselfs, lol! Personal preference obviously but I just don't see the need in messing with something that was ment to be there naturally.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

My 1st son was born with a "natural circumcision", they said he didn't have enough extra skin there to cut off, so we just left it natural. Our 2nd son is circumcised. Our 3rd will be too. Smile

mandi04's picture
Joined: 08/10/03
Posts: 2272

Definitely, for a variety of reasons. DS is circumsized as well, his might need corrective surgery at some point but I'd do it all over again if given the choice. This time I'm looking into getting a pediatric urologist to do it from the start. Not sure if it's possible but I plan on calling once we get a little closer to the birth (prob 32-34 weeks).

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Absolutely not, it's really frowned upon here. I have two boys that are 12 and 7 and they are not circumcised, our new baby will not have that done to him either. There is absolutely NO medical reason to put a new baby through a procedure like that and I think a circumcised penis looks butchered in my opinion. Teach your child how to use soap and water and keep themselves clean, that's all you need to do... my boys have had zero issues with being uncircumcised. If they aren't happy about it they can do something to it when they are adults. I don't feel I have ANY RIGHT to alter the shape or FUNCTION of their genitals and foreskins have a function.

nori_garsi's picture
Joined: 10/31/06
Posts: 2069

Brandon isn't circumcised and this baby won't be either.

Brandon was almost circumcised. I was against it but Chris wanted it done. Since he was a preemie they wouldn't do it in the hospital so we were referred to a pediatric surgeon. He spent a lot of time talking to us about the procedure and giving us the most current information. After that discussion Chris changed his mind and we decided against the procedure. We got a lot of grief about it from my family but I honestly couldn't care less. He's our baby and we made the best decision for our family.

This is one of those personal issues that every family must decide for themselves. No judgement here either way.

MandyMommyto1's picture
Joined: 06/27/09
Posts: 534

I don't have boys, and won't be having any, but DH and I were both in agreement that if we did have one, we would NOT be circumcizing. I agree with pp, there is no medical reason to do so, and actually I know in Canada it is now far more common to not be circumcized than to have it done. Many doctors will no longer perform the procedure.
What is the prevailing situation where you live? And what is the common reason? Medical necessity or cultural custom?

Danifo's picture
Joined: 09/07/10
Posts: 1377

Having a girl but would not circumcize a boy. DH isn't and has never had a problem so I don't see the point other than for cultural reasons.

I do know people who had it done and it was screwed up or who didn't have it done and did have some issues.

jac81's picture
Joined: 11/22/10
Posts: 1131

I actually never realized that so many people don't circumsize until the issue has come up on the boards. We are having a girl this time, but DS is circumsized and we never thought twice about it. I guess it's just the normal thing to do here so it was never a question of whether we were going to or not.

ceres's picture
Joined: 03/29/05
Posts: 115

My boys are not and this one won't be either. We have never had any issues with them keeping themselves clean and I could NEVER even imagine putting them through something like that just so they would look a certain way. DH is Circ'd but he didn't really care one way or the other so he left it up to me.

Maelani's picture
Joined: 01/09/10
Posts: 275

Both my boys are, and this one will be as well. Its just what we've always done. I had no issue with either of my boys on healing or it causing any additional issues, and to me it just looks and feels better.

Nell4Him's picture
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455

both of my boys are and this one will be (if it's a boy)

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I had no issue with either of my boys on healing or it causing any additional issues, and to me it just looks and feels better.

In many parts of the world men think the female vagina looks better with the clitoris and vaginal lips completely removed (making it smooth). It is considered dirty and unclean if it is not circumcised. We think it's abhorant and a crime against women but not if it's done to men?

The foreskin is filled with erogenious tissue and feeling, men without a foreskin miss out on the full sexual experience and it also changes the feeling for women. When a man withdraws during sex the foreskin goes back over the head so as not to be as abrasive on vaginal tissues making sex much more comfortable (especially if you have a large partner). Men that are circ'd and are large often make women very sore *down there*. Also they can't masterbate without some form of lubrication whereas men with their foreskin can masterbate naturally with nothing. There are just a plethora of other reasons why this shouldn't be done unless medically required (such as a tight foreskin/infection). We don't take out our babies tonsils and ear drums because they might get an infection. As women we should NEVER say it *looks better* because we are dismissing something that is natural. We don't tolerate men saying we would look better if we all got boob jobs and tummy tucks.

cherylfhorn's picture
Joined: 08/24/08
Posts: 600

I was planning on having Jayden done, but now I'm reconsidering after talking to my stepdad. He had his done when he was older and in his 20's. He said that afterwards he lost close.to 30% of his feeling done there. When its done.as.a baby u don't know.any different but as an adult now.I know there is a difference. So .now I'm thinking do I really want to take that away from him. I'm going to talk to the doctor about it.

mandi04's picture
Joined: 08/10/03
Posts: 2272

I don't think we need to start arguments on this thread, some women prefer one or the other, I've heard the opposite from some women, that's their opinion and everyone is entitled to their own. She simply asked who is doing it and who isn't.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I agree... @Sally...slow down there girlie. We understand you're against it. Like many of us have said, each family has their own opinions and traditions and it's really not a good thing to get so worked up over it, and try to preach your values. you're not going to convince anyone otherwise, so it's best to just agree to disagree. Smile

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Cheryl, it's unfortunate for your stepdad that as an adult he realized what a *change* there is to feeling down there if you are circumcised. So many women do it because "DH is" well those husbands do not know any alternative so they put the same onto their own young children. What I hate about circ'ing the most is that MOST people remove it because they want their kids to *look* like DH or *because DH was done*. The genitals are created as natured intended them to be, they aren't supposed to be changed unless something is *wrong*.

10 Reasons NOT to Circumcise Your Baby Boy

1.Because there is no medical reason for "routine" circumcision of baby boys. No professional medical association in the United States or the rest of the world recommends routine neonatal circumcision. The American Medical Association calls it "non-therapeutic." At no time in its 75 years has the American Academy of Pediatrics ever recommended infant circumcision.

2.Because the foreskin is not a birth defect. The foreskin is a normal, sensitive, functional part of the body. In infant boys, the foreskin is attached to the head of the penis (glans), protects it from urine, feces, and irritation, and keeps contaminants from entering the urinary tract. The foreskin also has an important role in sexual pleasure, due to its specialized, erogenous nerve endings and its natural gliding and lubricating functions.

3.Because you wouldn't circumcise your baby girl. In the United States, girls of all ages are protected by federal and state laws from forced genital surgery, whether practiced in medical or non-medical settings, and regardless of the religious or cultural preferences of their parents. There is no ethical rationale for distinguishing between female and male genital alteration. If it is wrong to remove part of a baby girl's healthy genitals, then it is wrong to do the same to those of a baby boy.

4.Because your baby does not want to be circumcised. Circumcision painfully and permanently alters a baby boy's genitals, removing healthy, protective, functional tissue from the penis and exposing the child to unnecessary pain and medical risks –for no medical benefit. What do you think your baby boy would say if he could tell you?

5.Because removing part of a baby's penis is painful, risky, and harmful. We know babies are sensitive to pain. Many circumcisions are performed with no analgesic, but even when pain control is employed, the pain is not eliminated. As with any surgery, complications can and do occur with circumcision. These include infection, abnormal bleeding, removal of too much skin, loss of all or part of the glans, urinary problems, and even death. All circumcisions result in the loss of the foreskin and its functions, and leave a penile scar.

6.Because times and attitudes have changed. The circumcision rate in the United States is now below 40% (and much lower in some parts of the country), down from 81% in 1981. More than 60% of all baby boys in the U.S. leave the hospital intact, as more and more parents realize that circumcision is unnecessary and wrong.

7.Because most medically advanced nations do not circumcise baby boys. People in Europe, Asia and Latin America are often appalled to hear that American doctors and hospitals remove part of a boy's penis shortly after birth. Approximately 75% of the men in the world are not circumcised and remain intact throughout their lives.

8.Because caring for and cleaning the foreskin is easy. A natural, intact penis requires no special care, beyond gentle washing while bathing. Later, when the foreskin can be retracted (something that often does not occur until adolescence), a boy can be taught to pull back his foreskin to wash his penis. Forcible retraction of the foreskin results in pain and injury, and should not be done. Read our Foreskin Care flyer for more information.

9.Because circumcision does not prevent HIV or other diseases. Over the years, the claims that circumcision prevents various diseases have repeatedly been proven to be exaggerated or outright fabrications. Most men in the United States are circumcised, but our STD rates are as high as or higher than those in countries where circumcision is rare.

10.Because children should be protected from permanent bodily alteration inflicted on them without their consent in the name of culture, religion, profit, or parental preference. Under accepted bioethical principles, parents can consent to surgery on behalf of a child only if it is necessary to protect the child's life or health. "Routine" circumcision fails this test because it painfully and permanently removes a normal and healthy part of a boy's penis, does not protect the child’s life or health, and in fact creates new risks. Removing the foreskin is no more justified than removing a finger or any other healthy body part.

Here is a great site for more information if anyone wants to research more...
http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/

Pictures with functions of the foreskin...
http://www.circumcision.org/foreskin.htm

This site has graphic photos of real penis's and the purpose of the foreskin...
http://www.noharmm.org/anatomy.htm

Pictures of how sex works with an uncircumcised penis...
http://www.cirp.org/pages/anat/

Joined: 12/21/09
Posts: 344

I HATE HATE HATE when people try to shove beliefs about this onto other people. It bothers me more than most parenting choices. And you always only see the anti-circ people arguing about it, never the pro-circ ones.

I know the pros and cons, I know the physical differences, I know the risks, I know the benefits. I've worked in healthcare with circ'd and un-circ'd and saw the differences there.

My husband and I agree and always have about doing it, so we had our first boy snipped, and will have any future boys as well.

I had a homebirth, all natural, no medication, no prenatal testing, no ultrasounds, etc... so the last thing that makes sense to most people who make those birthing choices is that we would circumcise any boy we had after going the route we took. I was CHASTISED by our midwife and her apprentice for even SPEAKING of doing it, and it irritated me to pieces. Just let me make the parenting choices for my son that I want. My reasons are religious, philosophical AND health reasons that I want it done. I had to go out of my way to get it done because we don't choose to take our kid to the doctor, so I had to go an hour away to a naturopathic doctor to get the procedure done - and I don't regret it, and I won't.

I just wish people could respect other people's choices on the subject. I don't give any of my friends who choose not to do it any flack about it, and expect the same to me.

Prudence's picture
Joined: 05/02/05
Posts: 256

Um, if everyone was replying simply yay or nay- then yeah, that's one thing- but to say it looks and feels better if it's circ'ed? Well, that's just as offensive as a Momma who won't circ their baby giving reasons not to circ...

Just sayin' Smile

We have not circ'ed our two older boys and we will not circ this baby boy either. If for some reason, he needs it done later on for health reasons- then we will get it done and ensure he has ample pain medication. If as an adult, he wants it done- that's great, it will be his choice.

I don't even care what the statistics are for and against (in regard to the population of our city). I don't care that Hubby is circ'ed. What I care for is what medical science tells me at this point in time and that it's not a necessary surgery. If it's not necessary, in my book, why would I personally choose to do it?

Prudence's picture
Joined: 05/02/05
Posts: 256

"epiclesis" wrote:

I HATE HATE HATE when people try to shove beliefs about this onto other people. It bothers me more than most parenting choices. And you always only see the anti-circ people arguing about it, never the pro-circ ones.

Really?

Because I've seen the pro-circ parents say...

Uncirc'ed penises are disgusting, gross, nasty...

Uncirc'ed men will definitely need surgery in the future...

You should circ because it's what 'everybody is doing it!'

Or how about- 'I worked in the health field with old men and I saw how hard it was for them to care for their uncirc'ed parts'

Both sides get just as downright nasty and rude to one another about this topic. I don't think people need to shove their beliefs down others' throats, but actually discussing a topic is educational and enlightening for many people. There are a lot of new Moms on this board and on this site that may never have sat down and considered whether or not to circ their infant son- after all, in many areas, it was simply assumed that it was the way it was supposed to be- there are still hospitals that assume infant boys should be circ'ed as a routine procedure.

Joined: 07/12/06
Posts: 831

We did not have DS circumcized for various personal/medical reasons and we won't if we have another boy down the road.

When my mom came to visit when DS was two weeks old, she asked when we were going to have him circumcized and I said that we weren't. She replied that she didn't even know it was an option to NOT have him circumcized as my brother automatically had his two circ'd and she hadn't really heard about anyone not circumcizing their boys.

skylersmomma's picture
Joined: 04/10/11
Posts: 927

Skyler wasn't done and Kesler won't be done either. The plan was to do skyler but with all his complications we opted not to in the end.

Scilla's picture
Joined: 03/29/11
Posts: 259

Oh man ladies.. I didn't mean to spark a hormone induced war on each other! Now I feel bad for asking Sad I'll choose my questions more carefully from now on..

Joined: 12/21/09
Posts: 344

"Prudence" wrote:

Really?

Because I've seen the pro-circ parents say...

Uncirc'ed penises are disgusting, gross, nasty...

Uncirc'ed men will definitely need surgery in the future...

You should circ because it's what 'everybody is doing it!'

Or how about- 'I worked in the health field with old men and I saw how hard it was for them to care for their uncirc'ed parts'

Both sides get just as downright nasty and rude to one another about this topic. I don't think people need to shove their beliefs down others' throats, but actually discussing a topic is educational and enlightening for many people. There are a lot of new Moms on this board and on this site that may never have sat down and considered whether or not to circ their infant son- after all, in many areas, it was simply assumed that it was the way it was supposed to be- there are still hospitals that assume infant boys should be circ'ed as a routine procedure.

We must have had different experiences then. I've never ever seen anyone take the defensive and get into the argument pro-circ. Smile

Joined: 12/21/09
Posts: 344

"Scilla" wrote:

Oh man ladies.. I didn't mean to spark a hormone induced war on each other! Now I feel bad for asking Sad I'll choose my questions more carefully from now on..

There was NOTHING wrong with your question. :bighug:

People are obviously passionate about the topic and it kind of just got blown out of proportion!

Joined: 12/21/09
Posts: 344

"AirForceWife1" wrote:

We did not have DS circumcized for various personal/medical reasons and we won't if we have another boy down the road.

When my mom came to visit when DS was two weeks old, she asked when we were going to have him circumcized and I said that we weren't. She replied that she didn't even know it was an option to NOT have him circumcized as my brother automatically had his two circ'd and she hadn't really heard about anyone not circumcizing their boys.

That is definitely part of an issue I have - is that a choice isn't always given. It's been done without consent and then the parents find out later.

Joined: 04/24/11
Posts: 1253

We haven't completely decided but I think we are leaning towards having it done because DH is. Really I'm leaving it up to him, I don't care either way.

getbuff63's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 23

My 3 year old son is circumcised, and I will also have Jackson done as well. I prefer to have it done, since there has been research done saying men that are circumcised have a smaller chance of contracting certain STD's such as AIDS. That research could change in the future, but for now I feel it is best to have my sons done. It's a personal choice, and everyone is different. Smile

Prudence's picture
Joined: 05/02/05
Posts: 256

"Scilla" wrote:

Oh man ladies.. I didn't mean to spark a hormone induced war on each other! Now I feel bad for asking Sad I'll choose my questions more carefully from now on..

Nah, don't feel bad for asking! This is a question where it's easier to say yes or no then go into reasons- because one's reasoning might be extremely offensive to another- but you couldn't know that when asking! I've seen all kinds of nastiness with this question- and it's usually from people simply not choosing their words carefully. No one wants to hear their child's body parts are 'mutilated' or 'disgusting', etc- and that goes for both sides!

Epiclesis- where you around back when the Circ board was open and active on this site? Or read the GDB when this topic comes around? Both sides are pretty good at the mud slinging!

Joined: 12/21/09
Posts: 344

"Prudence" wrote:

Epiclesis- where you around back when the Circ board was open and active on this site? Or read the GDB when this topic comes around? Both sides are pretty good at the mud slinging!

I'm not sure if I was or not... I always keep to a couple of particular sections and that's it. Smile

indianajones's picture
Joined: 01/21/07
Posts: 1486

"epiclesis" wrote:

There was NOTHING wrong with your question. :bighug:

People are obviously passionate about the topic and it kind of just got blown out of proportion!

I agree, 100%!

Ladies, as we are crafting replies to this thread (and other, sure-to-be-controversial topics in the future), let's do our best to be polite and informative, without getting pushy or argumentative! If you feel your blood start to boil a bit, try closing the page before posting, and then revisit it the next day. Ok?

There is definitely a benefit to learning information on multiple sides of an issue, so we don't need to shy away from topics like this, but just be careful how you may be coming across.

:grouphug:

Disneykat's picture
Joined: 01/02/07
Posts: 486

I am not having a boy this time, but we did not have our son circ'ed. Culturally for Dh it is not done.

I know people will have strong opinions on why it should or should not be done. I told my husband, if he didn't want him circ'ed we wouldn't do it. When he gets older he will be taught how to take care of himself and keep himself clean and REALLY that is what it boils down to. Totally my opinion though. Not that it matters lol

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I don't think people need to shove their beliefs down others' throats, but actually discussing a topic is educational and enlightening for many people. There are a lot of new Moms on this board and on this site that may never have sat down and considered whether or not to circ their infant son- after all, in many areas, it was simply assumed that it was the way it was supposed to be- there are still hospitals that assume infant boys should be circ'ed as a routine procedure.

This is the main reason for my post, I do not want to offend anyone whatsoever. For me, I just want to put out the information. With both of my boys the doctors and nurses all told me what a great decision I made for not circumcising and that they believe it is barbaric. I find it offensive to hear that an uncirc'd penis is nasty and disgusting, that is like saying a vagina is nasty and disgusting... it is as nature created it and is normal.

I would like moms to make INFORMED choices and that it why I posted the above links and info. I would like to debate the topic and not each other. For me, if one new mom decides to not do it than it's worth ruffling feathers of others and I have had many moms in the past message me that the info completely opened their eyes on this topic and even their husbands who then agreed that it is not necessary.

Don't get me wrong I've had people go at my choices over things, that's fine. Having a homebirth, epidural, csection, formula feeding, breastfeeding... all issues that are PERSONAL choices but when it comes to circumcision I don't believe it is a personal choice because it's not YOUR body, it's your SON'S. Altering their sexual organs for no medical reason is not something that should be taken likely.

Also circumcision does not mean your child cannot catch HIV/AIDS or has a lesser chance (a lot of these studies have been debunked) ... teach your child about safe sex instead. I think it's more important that our son's have a great sex life (and their partner's have a great sex life) than the "slightly higher risk* of catching an STD. Whether you have a foreskin or not you can still catch herpes, HIV/AIDS, chlamydia, etc.

Starflyr's picture
Joined: 10/20/07
Posts: 428

My son was circumcised, but he was done with a Mogen clamp (per my request) and he still has a significant amount of foreskin left and LOOKS uncirc'd.

I dont take sides in circ vs noncirc, but I do provide circumcision as a service to those families who want it done.

I will say that 95% of my boys sleep through it, as I make a point to use very effective anesthesia. if anybody has questions about how circumcision is performed or the types available, Im happy to answer them.

Star

Prudence's picture
Joined: 05/02/05
Posts: 256

"Starflyr" wrote:

My son was circumcised, but he was done with a Mogen clamp (per my request) and he still has a significant amount of foreskin left and LOOKS uncirc'd.

I dont take sides in circ vs noncirc, but I do provide circumcision as a service to those families who want it done.

I will say that 95% of my boys sleep through it, as I make a point to use very effective anesthesia. if anybody has questions about how circumcision is performed or the types available, Im happy to answer them.

Star

I think Star has brought in a good line of discussion on this topic Smile If you are planning on circ'ing- know what you want and how you want it done and discuss it with whomever is going to perform the surgery. I think most pediatricians do it in the United States, but you might also have the possibility of going through a urologist. There are also different pain meds and different types of circs from what I've heard- some people get a tiny snip as a symbol of their religious beliefs, some have the full foreskin removed, etc... I'm not 110% on what you can or can't do, but Star seems like a good person to go to with questions!

mandi04's picture
Joined: 08/10/03
Posts: 2272

I really wanted the plastibel for DS, which is a clamp that stays on until it falls off, kind of like the belly button clamp. I know that's the kind my brother had and my mom always says how easy it was. The thing is I can't find anyone around here with enough experience. Our ped said it was all she used to do when she was practicing out of the US but stopped when she came back because a lot of the parents didn't like them? Anyways, she doesn't feel comfortable doing it now and she also prefers to leave a good bit of skin (Better to take too little than too much)

It is a touchy subject, I honestly don't think moms on either side are aware of how their words can affect people. When someone starts in with the words like barbaric regarding a medical procedure that uses anesthesia in a sterile medical environment they absolutely lose me and it does irk me to hear 'I just couldn't do that to *my* baby' as if moms who do don't care. Everyone has their personal reasons for their decisions and we aren't here to push how we feel on others, I would hope any mom-to-be would talk to her own family and pediatrician about the decision rather than rely on extremist websites (either way) online.

Chimmy's picture
Joined: 08/03/01
Posts: 2776

Nope Smile Once this little guy is here we will have 6 sons, all intact.

Joined: 11/07/06
Posts: 707

I'm not having a boy this time however all of my 4 boys are circed. My oldest 2 almost look intact but their pedi thinks its because they were circed at 5 weeks old and since they were almost 9 weeks early they must have not taken as much foreskin when they did it due to them being preemies.

mom22sofar's picture
Joined: 02/20/09
Posts: 306

we don't circ. Not a judgment thing on those that do, but I figure it isn't medically necessary and dh didn't want it done so it was a straight forward decision.

TLotus's picture
Joined: 08/28/10
Posts: 535

:lurk:

Interesting the passion in the responses! I am mother to 4 boys...going on 5 with this little one. They are all circ'd and this one will be too. Our personal choice. Smile They are all healthy, well rounded boys. Smile