And yes i said my brain is killing me :eek:
I can't get my brain to just shut off! I have a tendency to worry about what everyone in my life will think before I can make any decision. it's enough to give me anxiety attacks almost everyday I wasn't really like this before i had DS but as soon as I had the added stress of 3 sets of grandparents and aunts all wanting him at the same time and trying to explain that i was a breastfeeding mom who couldn't let her 3 month old go alone with them for hours on end it all changed. My MIL drives me batty, and she doesn't do it on purpose but shes so needy. She acts like a toddler if she doesn't get what she wants...sad face and all. If i say that DS cant spend the night she give me guilt trips that he won't remember her if they don't see each other once a week :eek:
And now for my latest freak out.....the baby shower. I've always wanted an awesome shower. My mom threw it for me last time and she did the best she could. she couldn't have it at her house because of my Step dad and his hoarding issues so she had it at a local resturant. the resturant screwed up with the start time of the shower and we had to wait for the previous group to finish before we could start and she didn't get to set up or decorate at all. Now my MIL wants to throw this one (she did do one for DS as well for her group of friends) and she is HORRIBLE at throwing parties. she hijacked my 21st birthday party from my mom, didn't invite any of my friends and forgot to buy alcohol!!!!! Who doesn't buy alcohol for a 21st birthday party?
Now I'm having panic attacks about whos throwing the shower! I just told everyone screw it and ill just throw a bbq myself to make it better but now I don't want to. I'm tired and I don't want to clean for 50+ people to come over and trash my house. I called my mom this morning and just asked her to do it for me and of course she said yes, thankfully my step dads issues have been taken care of so it's not a problem.
Agghhhh when am I going to just stop worrying but everyone elses feelings and just go with it???? the stress of having two kids is going to be enough and i don't want to worry about any of them any more