Need advice, RE:siblings and jealousy XP

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nori_garsi's picture
Last seen: 4 years 2 days ago
Joined: 10/31/06
Posts: 2069
Need advice, RE:siblings and jealousy XP

Brandon started PT at 3. He turns four next week. He got a late start but once he got it, he got it and was accident free almost the whole year. The last few weeks though he has had a few accidents. Then, he's had two accidents in the car (one was in a pull-up thankfully) in the last week, without ever telling me that he had to use the potty. One of those accidents was yesterday on the way to my parent's house. When we got here, my mom gave him a bath for me and he told me that he peed in his pants was because he was mad at me because the baby was more important and we loved the baby more than him.

We have tried so hard to make Brandon feel special and loved and we have tried to include him in everything. We even got him that big brother photo album which I thought would make him feel special. What can we do to help him know that he's just as important and loved as the baby?

indianajones's picture
Last seen: 2 years 8 months ago
Joined: 01/21/07
Posts: 1486

I don't have any BTDT experience to share with you, just wanted to offer sympathy. I hear that regression (esp in PT) is totally normal with a big change like a new baby coming. Maybe try to spend some time with him not talking about baby or big brother or anything like that, just focusing on Brandon as Brandon, if that makes any sense.

Hang in there, Nori. Hope others have some more helpful advice.

Prudence's picture
Last seen: 4 years 1 month ago
Joined: 05/02/05
Posts: 256

My almost 3 year old was completely potty trained right before my youngest was born... Even to the point of sleeping through the night and having no accidents. He was a breeze potty training and I thought, "Haha! And they say boys are hard!"

From the moment his younger brother was born, he threw all of his potty training skills out the door. He took almost two more years to get to the point where he slept through the night consistently without any accidents.

I fully expect to have this same experience this time around. I am PT my 2 year old this summer and he'll turn 3 right before this baby is born. I don't know if there is a 'fix' for this and I am sure some kids will be worse then others... I'm just going to go with the flow and wash whatever laundry needs to be washed and keep reminding myself- they will PT- even if they regress for a bit.

LizzyLaw06's picture
Last seen: 4 years 3 hours ago
Joined: 05/20/07
Posts: 497

i'm sorry. i can't believe there is already issues and the baby isn't here yet. my DD is still excited. no issues pt yet(still uses a pull up at bed time). when we talk about her coming baby sister we usually just tell her how much fun they will have together, and how much she will get to teach the baby. we have even told her she will have to help her baby sister learn how to use the potty when she is old enough. getting to help feed, dress, ect her new sister. IDK, maybe things like that will help. let him shop with you if you are getting anything like a double stroller for both of them . let him pick out bottles, pacis that sort of thing.

i have no clue how far DD's regression will go once it starts, i just try these positive things to keep her excited . good luck and hope things get better

MandyMommyto1's picture
Last seen: 4 years 10 months ago
Joined: 06/27/09
Posts: 534

I think these feelings are probably normal, and inevitable to a certain extent no matter what you do to prepare him. He's used to being the only little person, getting all the attention, so naturally it's going to be a big transition for him.
I'm preparing for this problem also with my DD, I haven't told her about the baby yet since she's still pretty young, but I have heard that a bit of regression is normal and usually short-lived. I think the only thing you can do is continue to make the older sibling feel special and involved, and they'll come around. Unfortunately I think the accidents are just something you're going to have to weather for the time being.