So mad!!! (OT, looooooong)

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jonibug's picture
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So mad!!! (OT, looooooong)

I am so mad at dh right now and I really need to vent.

Dh got a nice new car in march when he traded in his bench seat truck, he got a Subaru wrx. I have a Nissan versa which we paid off completely in march. we aren't happy with the safety rating on the versa so it was agreed that I would drive his car when I have the kids with me, especially on the highway b/c if I got in an accident at high speed in my car, we don't think both kids and myself would survive.

A couple months ago I accidentally curbed the wheel on dh's car, there is a lot more rim than tire and I'm not used to that. At first he acted like it was ok, he wasn't mad. But the rest of the day he was very snotty with me, until he finally admitted that he was mad. he was pretty upset for a few weeks and didn't even want me driving the car for a long time. I was driving it so infrequently that last week while I was driving it b/c his blood sugar level was off, he said I needed to drive it more b/c my shifts had gotten rough.

Yesterday I was going on the other side of town (almost completely on highway roads) and wanted to drive his car. My car also doesn't have decent a/c and they had called for a heat index of 105. He didn't want me to drive it b/c I was taking the stroller and he was afraid I would scratch the bumper with it. He finally let me take his car when he saw I could get the stroller in and out easily. I was going to a mall and, knowing that dh likes his car at the back of the lot, I parked in the last space. Go figure, his bumpers are also lower than I am used to and I curbed his front bumper, scratching it pretty good. I called and let him know right away and of course he was pissed. I was really upset that I did that to his car again, but I figure, it is just a material possession and it isn't something to get too attached to. Dh, on the other hand, thinks that car is the best thing since sliced butter. When I got home yesterday, he wouldn't even talk to me for a long time and is still upset today over it.

Today he went in to work and forgot his insulin so asked if dd and I could come up for lunch. So we went up to his work. I requested that we take his car to the restaurant b/c mine needs to be cleaned out, it has been infested with sugar ants and they are mostly in the passenger seat and I didn't want to get bitten while sitting there. He hemmed and hawed but said fine. After lunch we got back to his work and he discovered somebody had rubbed against his back bumper. He immediately blamed it on me (WTF?!) and said it was my fault b/c he wanted to take my car. I started crying and was really upset and just wanted to go home so I wouldn't have to be around him. He kept pressing it and I told him I didn't want to get bitten by the ants and he said then I should have cleaned out my car (I just discovered the ants in my car earlier this week). I responded that he could have helped me with it, it isn't like I already have enough to do that I don't have the energy for as it is. not to mention the heat is insane, I can't step outside w/o feeling like I'm going to pass out!

To top it all off he sent me an email saying since we've (when he really means me) damaged a 30,000 dollar car so much already, he wants to trade it in this month on something else (WHAT???). No apology for being so mean with his words, or clinging to anger after I've apologized profusely.

He is just so focused on himself lately I don't know how much more of his attitude I can handle. He is acting more hormonal than I am!

If you made it this far I commend you, I feel like I just wrote a book.

lamonsgrl's picture
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Sorry he's being such a turd. Men are crazy sometimes. He's really over-reacting to the situation. It's just a car. I love DH's car as much as he does and I used to drive it all the time until I got my Tahoe. He has a Pontiac GTO and I have pulled up on curbs and it sits so low that when you back up from it, the bumper will come off. I just had to tell him that sh*t happens and we have to get over it. Hope he quits acting so crazy.

katielee83's picture
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I'm so sorry, joni. What a crappy way to make you feel. I am certainly not trying to excuse his bahavior, but I know that right before we had DS, my DH flipped out on a couple of things that really made no sense to me.

I don't think he's handling it the right way, and I hope things settle down soon for you.

Hugs!

ekcanada's picture
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What is with the hubby's on this board lately?

I am sorry he is being so difficult Sad I hope you guys can enjoy the weekend without the car issues hanging over your head.

heatherliz2002's picture
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:bigarmhug: I am so sorry. Sometimes I wonder if men go through some sort of crisis when a baby is on the way that manifests itself in weird ways and causes them to act crazy! I hope you guys can work it out so that you can drive a safe car and he can get things in perspective a bit!

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I agree! What is up with our DH's?!!

I would be soo mad if I were you too.

My dh sort of does the same thing. On our old car, a blazer, I had accidently skimmed the side of the door while going through a tiny space in the bank line. But HE practically totalled it when he drove it in the winter and slid on ice into a tree. TOTALLY smashed the front. But he still would get on to ME that I skimmed the side of the door. wth!

Anyways I hope that your DH is more understanding and apologizes for being so fussy over his silly car.

cherylfhorn's picture
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There has to be something in the air, the DH's and the animals. I'm sorry he's being a jerk. Like you said its just a vehicle. To trade it in for a few scrapes is crazy.

nori_garsi's picture
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Oh my. I'm sorry your DH is acting like that. It is just a car at the end of the day and it's not like you totaled it or anything. He's certainly not handling things the best way.

If anything, he should be more understanding considering you are driving your daughter and unborn child around in a car without adequate ac. You should be the priority, not him.

I hope he realized how silly and unreasonable he's being and apologizes.

Disneykat's picture
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Um, I want to punch him. How frocking RUDE!!!! No, really. Since when do cars matter more than your wife and kid? Give me a break

:bigarmhug: for you and a kick in the nuts for him. Ooooo I'm so irritated I want to just punch him right now.

LauraMae78's picture
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"jonibug" wrote:

I am so mad at dh right now and I really need to vent.

Dh got a nice new car in march when he traded in his bench seat truck, he got a Subaru wrx. I have a Nissan versa which we paid off completely in march. we aren't happy with the safety rating on the versa so it was agreed that I would drive his car when I have the kids with me, especially on the highway b/c if I got in an accident at high speed in my car, we don't think both kids and myself would survive.

A couple months ago I accidentally curbed the wheel on dh's car, there is a lot more rim than tire and I'm not used to that. At first he acted like it was ok, he wasn't mad. But the rest of the day he was very snotty with me, until he finally admitted that he was mad. he was pretty upset for a few weeks and didn't even want me driving the car for a long time. I was driving it so infrequently that last week while I was driving it b/c his blood sugar level was off, he said I needed to drive it more b/c my shifts had gotten rough.

Yesterday I was going on the other side of town (almost completely on highway roads) and wanted to drive his car. My car also doesn't have decent a/c and they had called for a heat index of 105. He didn't want me to drive it b/c I was taking the stroller and he was afraid I would scratch the bumper with it. He finally let me take his car when he saw I could get the stroller in and out easily. I was going to a mall and, knowing that dh likes his car at the back of the lot, I parked in the last space. Go figure, his bumpers are also lower than I am used to and I curbed his front bumper, scratching it pretty good. I called and let him know right away and of course he was pissed. I was really upset that I did that to his car again, but I figure, it is just a material possession and it isn't something to get too attached to. Dh, on the other hand, thinks that car is the best thing since sliced butter. When I got home yesterday, he wouldn't even talk to me for a long time and is still upset today over it.

Today he went in to work and forgot his insulin so asked if dd and I could come up for lunch. So we went up to his work. I requested that we take his car to the restaurant b/c mine needs to be cleaned out, it has been infested with sugar ants and they are mostly in the passenger seat and I didn't want to get bitten while sitting there. He hemmed and hawed but said fine. After lunch we got back to his work and he discovered somebody had rubbed against his back bumper. He immediately blamed it on me (WTF?!) and said it was my fault b/c he wanted to take my car. I started crying and was really upset and just wanted to go home so I wouldn't have to be around him. He kept pressing it and I told him I didn't want to get bitten by the ants and he said then I should have cleaned out my car (I just discovered the ants in my car earlier this week). I responded that he could have helped me with it, it isn't like I already have enough to do that I don't have the energy for as it is. not to mention the heat is insane, I can't step outside w/o feeling like I'm going to pass out!

To top it all off he sent me an email saying since we've (when he really means me) damaged a 30,000 dollar car so much already, he wants to trade it in this month on something else (WHAT???). No apology for being so mean with his words, or clinging to anger after I've apologized profusely.

He is just so focused on himself lately I don't know how much more of his attitude I can handle. He is acting more hormonal than I am!

If you made it this far I commend you, I feel like I just wrote a book.

agree with the rest, what is up with our DH"S lately? is it international "piss off my pregnant wife" week?

ok, by no means am i taking up for you DH AT ALL

With all that said, im so sorry he is being a dink. However, i have a feeling the car is making him more selfish than normal so try not to take it too personally. but then, i dont know your DH and i could be very wrong too. Either way, i hope he eases up on you. curb checks happen! He just needs to get over it!

MandyMommyto1's picture
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Dude. It's a car.
Our DH's are going nuts! They're such babies. I'm sorry yours is being such a douche - I think we're all having those days right now.
Tell him to go ahead and trade it in - for a car he won't be so upset about scratching Smile He shouldn't be more attached to a stupid piece of machinery than his family.

jonibug's picture
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Thanks everyone, I knew you'd understand!

Laura is right about dh and I had kind of forgotten about it. Before we met, he was heavy into the car scene and even showed his miata. That car was his wife until we met and it went by the wayside on dh's own volition. he wants totrade the wrx in on an sti (next step up) but there are none to be had b/c of the earthquake/tsunami in Japan. So we'll see. I voiced my concern that I would probably just do the same things to another car. I also told him I am more willing to drive my car more if we can get the a/c fixed...but not sure if it is fixable. He apologized for being so ornery about it.

LauraMae78's picture
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"jonibug" wrote:

Thanks everyone, I knew you'd understand!

Laura is right about dh and I had kind of forgotten about it. Before we met, he was heavy into the car scene and even showed his miata. That car was his wife until we met and it went by the wayside on dh's own volition. he wants totrade the wrx in on an sti (next step up) but there are none to be had b/c of the earthquake/tsunami in Japan. So we'll see. I voiced my concern that I would probably just do the same things to another car. I also told him I am more willing to drive my car more if we can get the a/c fixed...but not sure if it is fixable. He apologized for being so ornery about it.

if the a/c is unfixable, then he simply needs to buy YOU the car that YOU want. win win Wink

im glad he apologized, sweet rides are not worth hurting your wife over, pregnant or non pregnant!